When people say "ADHD is a superpower" this is the kind of stuff I think of.
We don't have superhuman intelligence or shoot laser beams out your eyes but..
We can steal our own attention from the future and condense it into pockets of extreme focus and productivity.
Do we pay for it later? Abso-fucking-lutely.
Does that make it any less awesome?
Probably a little actually, yeah.
My back pain was acting up and instead of taking my meds I zoned out and activated my hyper fixation therefore I stopped the chronic condition with another chronic condition
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ADHD TAX STORY TIME: Christmas Edition
So I left some of my Christmas shopping a tad late (Ok, very late).
I spent WEEKS deciding what to get my partner, eventually deciding on a very nice (and very overpriced) outfit I found online.
Pleased with my decision, I attempt to checkout, only to realize the store shipped from another country and would not make it in time for Christmas.
Shit.
I find the items in my country, spread across 3 different stores with a 30% markup.
Double shit.
I spend the day tossing up other gift ideas before deadline induced panic overrides my frugal tendencies and I take the plunge.
I make all but one order.
Feeling victorious, I take a âShort breakâ which turns into 3 days of procrastinating while simultaneously AGONISING over the fact that if I donât HURRY UP their present won't make it in time.
By the time I get around to actually buying the damn thing the price has jumped up, by this point I'm so flustered I don't even care... until my âNew Customer discountâ code shows up as âInvalidâ.
So I contact the store, spend half the day waiting for my new code and FINALLY make the order.
And it arrives in time!
âŠOnly it arrives twice.
âThey made a mistakeâ I think to myself.
Do I get to keep the additional set of clothes?
Have they emailed me requesting I return them?
I check
They did not make a mistake.
I did.
I bought the clothes the first time I shopped and proceeded to spend 3 days agonizing over buying a gift I ALREADY BOUGHT.
Guys, I bought the EXACT SAME items of $200 clothing twice.
TWICE!
I deadass emailed the store like a disgruntled Karen because the new customer code I had ALREADY USED wasnât working...
Will I return them in time?
Or will they sit in my doom drawer for the next 2 years?
The saga continues.
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Yessss
okay so this came to me in a dream and yeah
â
[ID: venn diagram with the words âAutisticsâ, âADHD folksâ, and âSpice girlsâ. The following texts are in the different sections of the diagram:
Autistics and Spice Girls: âso tell me what you want, what you really really wantâ
ADHD folks and Autistics: âyou wanna get with me, you gotta listen carefullyâ
ADHD folks and Spice Girls: âreally wanna zig-a-zig-ahâ
All: ânow donât go wasting my precious timeâ
end ID]
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Shoulda realized I had adhd that time I misplaced a two-ton vehicle and didnât realize for 48 hours
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Stacie Orrico: AN ADHD CONSPIRACY THEORY
Remember that early 2000's banger More to Life by Stacie Orrico?
Tell me these lyrics don't describe undiagnosed ADHD perfectly .
I've got it all
But I feel so deprived
I go up I come down, and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go
There's gotta be more to life
Than chasing down every temporary high
To satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life but I'm sure
There's gotta be more
Than wanting more
I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing
Dopamine Orrico, it's dopamine you're missing.
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So I let lady ADHD take the wheel this morning.
âI mean, whatâs the worst that could happen?â I told myself as I left for kindergarten drop-off 45 minutes late.
100 meters down the road I realized I forgot my phone, so I turned around and went to retrieve it.
As I re-entered my car I became distracted by my leg, my unshaven leg (just the one), and accidentally slammed the door on my hand. After apologizing to my small human for saying a âbad wordâ I took a deep breath, counted to ten and turned on the car.
Equipped with my asymmetrical shave, my phone at 4% and my aching hand, I began our journey.
I decided to take an impulsive âshortcutâ which turned out to be more of a 'scenic route', adding 10 minutes to our drive.
Once we arrived I exited the car and a kind woman informed me my shirt had something on it. It was chocolate, the chocolate I ate for breakfast because without my store-bought dopamine I have approximately no impulse control.
While attempting to wipe off the brown mark I realized my shirt was also on backwards. Once I shimmied my shirt around the right way we went inside. As I hung up my child's schoolbag she turned and asked-
"Mummy, whereâs my lunch box?â
â...Iâll be right backâ
I returned home once more, changed into an unstained shirt, pants that covered the evidence of my singular sasquatch leg and after 5 minutes of searching, finally found her lunch box in the freezer.
Laughing manically, I tossed out her frozen sandwich and made the executive decision to never EVER attempt a 'no-med-morning' on a weekday again.
..and then I took my meds.
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ADHD is not about knowing what to do, but about doing what one knows.
-Russell Barkley
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My ADHD brain mid conversation:
1. FERRARI WITH BROKEN BRAKES: Brain feels like it's overheating waiting for the point of the story, which I'm fairly certain I already know... So I interrupt because if I don't my brain may blow a gasket.
2. BROKEN DOWN HONDA CIVIC: Brain stalls mid conversation, nothing computes so I either:
a. Apologize profusely while asking them to repeat themselves a fourth time.
b. Smile, nod and hope like hell no one died.
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Conversing with me can pretty much be boiled down to three scenarios.
1. My brain's incessant rambling has drowned out your voice, sorry.
2. I was paying too much attention to the sound of your voice to interpret the content, sorry.
3. Oh no, I have been rambling about for 8 minutes, and now I'm apologizing and interrupting you to do so and I, well, sorry.
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ADHD is the most treatable mental health disorder in psychiatry, only you can't treat something youâre not aware of.
ADHD is not just for kids and most adults with ADHD are not outwardly hyperactive.
If you have trouble prioritizing, starting, and finishing tasks, if you tend to be disorganized, forgetful, restless, and easily distracted then please, have a look through the self symptom check.
Adult ADHD is often misdiagnosed, it may hide itself under the guise of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and sadly, substance abuse as a form of self-medicating.
Misguided stereotypes and the stigma surrounding it's treatment are costing millions of us a decade of life worth living.
A diagnosis can be life changing.
Click here for more info
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This pretty much sums up my daily life. âNuff said.
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Something I find very frustrating is that if I want to actually pay attention to something I can't simultaneously look like I am paying attention.
For example: I can't get what someone says if I'm looking at them in the eye because I'm too focused on doing it correctly and on the discomfort it brings me.
Another example: I cannot, for the life of me, focus on a class if I'm not doing something else simultaneously, like drawing or playing repetitive computer games.
So yeah, I either look like I'm paying attention, or I'm actually paying attention.
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me: Iâd like to start working on this thing
my brain: no. you have to wait
me: oh. what for?
my brain:
my brain:
me: maybe Iâll just startâŠ
my brain: W A I T
me: âŠ
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Neurotypicals out here giving advice for managing ADHD like:
I wAs LiKe ThAt ToO! U sHuD bUy A JoUrNal, MeDiTaTe!
Actual advice from people with ADHD: Every time I have to reheat my coffee, which is often, I race myself to see how many dishes I can clean before the microwave beeps.
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If you were waiting for a sign to 'do the thing', this is it.
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