thebellelair

[thebellelair]

I am going to take a deep breath and just remind you:

Writing is messy, even for the best authors. It's supposed to feel a little uncomfortable, exhilarating, freeing, natural, and terrifying.

It's supposed to inspire you and feel like a too-heavy backpack.

Sometimes, you're going to love being a writer and sometimes, you'll feel so disconnected, you'll wonder if you were ever a writer to begin with.

Give yourself room to make mistakes and hate your work and return to it with renewed confidence that yes, you will get 1% better next time.

It's what we're all going through. Let's speed up the growing process a little by accepting the entirety of it.

#this helps me alot

[thebellelair]

Another one. This one is Tsukasa from TBHK. It's a Biker Au with Soulemates.

#fanfiction #oc x canon #oc x canon fanfiction #tbhk fanfic

[thebellelair]

This little angry Flemish puppet is me and nobody can tell me otherwise

#makes me laugh

[thebellelair]

I posted it. It is only visible to archive users because I'm being careful with random users. It's forbidden love, criminal au and it's short. Our favorite bard is a thief but also part of a crime family. My OC's family wants nothing to do with it.

The crime war I mean. OC's family are also criminals.

#oc x canon #venti x oc #fanfiction

[thebellelair]

Hi Sid. I would love it if you could expand Kat's comment on how Kagome doesn't know how much Inuyasha loves her. He definitely shows her through his actions but not his words and I think Kagome wanted that, although knowing that Inuyasha is terrible with words. I believe that right after they reunite after 3 years, they had a good long talk where Inuyasha would say everything he wanted to say all that time they were together. That's my take, what about yours? ☺️

Hi there!

As Kat (@born-for-eachother) brightly put it, Inuyasha knows how much Kagome loves him, but she doesn’t know how much he loves her.

And you can find the answer as to why that is in your own question, when you say "he definitely shows her through his actions, but not his words, and I think Kagome wanted that."

I believe that happens because, at the beginning, Inuyasha and Kagome had very different, very incorrect ideas of what romantic love truly was.

Kagome's take on it was naive, immature and superficial. On the other hand, Inuyasha's was more cynical, fatalist and experienced (or so he thought). And this makes perfect sense for the people they were back then, for the life they've lead that far.

You see, Kagome grew up surrounded by love songs and romance novels and rom-com movies. Love always came easily to her, so she thought love itself would be easy and simple and exciting. It would be perfect and full of great romantic confessions, just like the movies, just like the books, just like the songs.

And let's not forget Inuyasha grew up with little to no positive interactions with other people except his mother. Trusting issues, intimacy issues, nonexistent social skills, you name it: Inuyasha had them all. And the one time he decided to give romance a chance, it blew up in his face rather spectacularly. It was all he had ever known, so he thinks that's how it's supposed to go. That love is supposed to hurt, break, burn or end. Usually all four.

Unlike Kagome, he thinks relationships are complicated, that it takes a lot of sacrifice and that it's not always worth it. And of course he would, after the things he's been through. It's a self defense mechanism, to put his guard even higher than it was before.

Because they come from such different — and dare I say opposite — backgrounds, their love language are also different. Kagome’s is words of affirmation while Inuyasha’s is acts of service.

Which is not to say Inuyasha never reaffirmed Kagome (”there’s no replacement for you” “trust me a little more” “I was scared [of losing you]”) or Kagome never did anything for Inuyasha (cooking him food, saving his life, dressing his wounds). What I meant is that it was usually the other way around: Kagome cheering him on, stroking his ego, reassuring him she liked him just the way he is and Inuyasha carrying her on his back, making her medicine when she’s sick, putting his fire rat robe over her.

So it's under those circumstances that they meet and eventually fall in love: Kagome wanting her first love to be this perfect, romantic guy that it's constantly sweeping her off her feet and Inuyasha desperately trying to repress his feelings as to not show any vulnerability.

They reach common ground with quality time and physical touch, but it doesn’t mean that this completely erases Kagome’s need for verbal reassurance. Especially when Kikyo came into picture, because her past with Inuyasha made Kagome feel extremely insecure and confused. Plus, Inuyasha used to reassure her of his feelings way more at the beginning, then it was toned down.

To top it all off, Miroku’s, Sango’s and particularly Shippo’s (beyond less important characters) remarks on Inuyasha’s love life didn’t exactly help her self steem, either. At the same time, you have Hojo constantly asking her out and Koga professing his undying love for her on the regular. It’s only logical for her to compare their behavior, even if in a subconscious level.

But most of all, because of the above, Kagome is completely biased and unreliable when it comes to Kikyo. There are many occasions where she doesn’t let her jealousy get the best of her, choosing to do the right thing in the end even if she struggles with it at first, but she does let it cloud her judgement. So much that everything Inuyasha does to show her he loves her (and it’s a lot) fly right over her head.

She focuses so much on Inuyasha going to Kikyo that she doesn’t realize he always comes back to her when he could have just stayed with Kikyo. She complains that when Inuyasha and Kikyo get together it’s like they’re stuck on their own little world, but that’s actually her relationship with Inuyasha she’s describing. She claims she can’t compete with everything Kikyo and Inuyasha lived together, but her story with him is blatantly more substancial. She thinks that when Inuyasha and Kikyo are alone they’re probably having a romantic date, but her own interactions with Koga are more romantic (at least from his side) than anything Inuyasha and Kikyo ever did alone after her ressurection.

After all, Kagome was there both times they kissed. The first kiss was Kikyo trying to drag him to hell and the second one was their final goodbye. I personally wouldn’t categorize them as romantic, but Kagome most definitely did. And one day I’ll make a post about how Inuyasha and Kagome’s jealousy concerning Kikyo and Koga are completely justified, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make here.

My point is that Kagome is a modern 15 years old girl who wanted to be swept off her feet by the boy she loves and when he didn’t live up to her expectations, she started doubting his feelings. Which is completely normal and continues to happen until she learns to read his little gestures for what they are: his way of professing his love.

When he comes back to her, what he’s really saying is that she is his home, she is the one he would give his life to if his life was truly his, she is the choice he’d like to make, she is the one he can’t stay away from. When he puts himself between her and Koga what he’s really saying is that he is afraid she’ll eventually realize she deserves better and finally leave him. When he spends time in her era, with her family and friends, what he’s really saying is that he wants to be a part of her life. When he carries her around, gives her his fire rat robe, takes care of her when she’s sick, what he’s really saying is that he treasures and appreciates her to a fault. When he protects her with his life, even though it’s promised to another, what he’s really saying is that she is the most important thing in the universe to him.

There was literally no one else he was closer to or that affectionate with. No one else he trusted that much. No one else he would show every side of him for. No one else he would wake up from powerful spells, dreams and illusions to return to. These aren’t fancy declarations of love, but the love is there nonetheless. Kagome’s insecurities just blinded her for it.

That being said, Inuyasha was bad with words, as it was to be expected from someone with his background. However, he is actually not that bad at expressing his true feelings for and to Kagome as we make him out to be. You can see it in the second painel above, but there are other examples through the series.

And let’s not forget this little gem:

Unfortunately, Kagome didn’t hear any of that. And it sucks because it’s not always that Inuyasha gets to be that forward about his feelings for her. Or about his feelings for anyone. But in Kagome’s especific case there is a reason for that. I’m once again bringing attention to the second painel. “I can’t afford lightness or peace.” The thing holding Inuyasha back from expressing his love more often is because voicing it makes it real and he doesn’t believe he deserves happiness. How can he promise anything to her when he has obligations to fulfill with Kikyo? I think he already feels guilty enough for being in love with Kagome and being happy by her side while Kikyo wanders around miserable and all alone.

But I do believe that, in the few times he lets himself be vulnerable and speaks up, it’s because Kagome taught him that it was okay to do so and that she was a safe person to talk to. I have no doubt that he grows to be more and more open with her with every passing day, but at the same time, it’s fine if he doesn’t say a word because eventually she learns exactly what his every action mean. He shows her he loves her, she knows that he loves her, but he still tells her anyway because he knows it’s important for her to hear it and there’s absolutely nothing holding him back now.

To summarize: it’s easier for Inuyasha to know how much Kagome loves him because it’s easier for her to accept, show and express her feelings. And it’s harder for Kagome to know how much Inuyasha loves her because it’s harder for Inuyasha to, first of all, accept he was in love, show his love in a way Kagome was used to and express his feelings as well and as often when he still felt so guilty about having them and wanting to be happy with the woman he loves. 

#inukag #I'm sort of in my inuyasha mood again

[thebellelair]

do you ever feel victimized by fanfic authors when you make them fanart and then they give YOU compliments and you try to give THEM compliments and its a vicious cycle??? ♥♥ ft. @nicolareed

#awwwww

[thebellelair]

screenshot redraw cuz i love them <333

#lunami

[thebellelair]

"Excuse us.." Day 7 Vampire Au ♥

Bonus - Some continuation sketchs 🫰

#lunami #fanart

[thebellelair]

RIP Matthew Perry

No one else could’ve played Chandler Bing🩵

#firends

[thebellelair]

Rest In Peace, MATTHEW PERRY

August 19, 1969 - October 28, 2023

#friends

[thebellelair]

R.I.P. Matthew Perry (August 19, 1969 - October 28, 2023)

#friends

[thebellelair]

Trying a new brush while practicing Hanako/ Amane.

#yugi amane #toilet bound hanako kun #tbhk #jshk #tbhk fanart

[thebellelair]

Where have I been? Everywhere and anywhere, mostly at my roleplay account since I mostly do oc stuff and it's account for OCs.

Yet this one is half and half.

Plus some redesign for Tsukasa and Amane.

----

If you wondering what's going on, Tsukasa did something that would've gotten both of them in trouble.

Hanako and Tsukasa are in their late twenties and they have ghost powers and then some. This was accidental AU.

Still need to work on my comic style because I'm happy with it.

I have a ton of headcanons for this world since a mix of Original World and TBHK World. This world is mostly an OC/Canon story so it's not a Hananene story.

I have to say. The thing I need to work on is the hats because they look too big and I have a habit of drawing characters with big heads.

#yugi amane #yugi tsukasa #yugi twins #tbhk

[thebellelair]

Happy MariChat May! Have a short, little scene. Chat Noir is charming when he doesn’t think about it.

It’s those kitten eyes.

DO NOT REPOST.

Follow me @ohsweetsweetie on Instagram!

Bonus!

#marichat #miraculous ladybug

[thebellelair]

Rip Jason David Frank.

The Greatest Power Ranger to have ever lived.

#power rangers

[thebellelair]

#powerpuff girls

[thebellelair]

The lines aren’t clean but oh well 🤷🏾‍♀️

#powerpuff girls #bubblesxboomer