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thecosmicsen · 1 year
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happy birthday, jaewoo  /   @thecosmicsen
her lips purse as she grips the steering wheel of her sedan, brows knitted together in concentration. every once in a while she peeks in her rearview to gaze at her son, who has his head bent down, focused solely on the switch in his hands. evidently, he has not a care in the world.
‘did you pack your phone?’ she knows he did, she checked thrice, but she wants confirmation that she does care about her son and that she is not dropping him off to stay the night at a friends house so that she can jump her boyfriend’s bones —
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thecosmicsen · 1 year
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✮ ┆ a very happy birthday to the queen herself @shesin  
how disgusting. 
Jaewoo’s lips curl down in distaste,  a sourness scouring his mouth with its repulsion.  of course all the various forms of media crown the glory of the legend billionaire miss Inés.  of course her silky raven locks emboss every single digital neon billboard,  every single damn glossy magazine cover,  even all traditionally printed subway posters curated by her biggest fans congratulating her with massive hearts and cutesy edits.  
she is as beautiful than ever.  but out there for the world to bask in and perceive her gorgeous existence.  
disgusting.
the city in its ever vibrant bustling landscape breathes out soft lulling crisp November breezes.  in the distance,  the joyous cries of drunken friendship circles whose laughter or sobs cannot be distinguished ring out muffled.  grunts of one or three late working businessmen puncture the usual city background buzz as they shuffle about on their way to get home,  the reek of soju tainting their breaths.  softly treaded heaps of leaves piled neatly to the side showcase the warm spectrum of autumn hues,  damp with the earlier morning showers of rain.  
he feels chillier than usual.
is that even possible for the ghost  ?  Jaewoo shrugs it off as he tugs down the sleeves of his thermal black shirt.  placebo or not,  the multiple layers of his black clothing give the illusion of warmly dressed young male traversing the streets of the city’s poshest neighbourhood boundaries.  dotted luxury imported car brands indicate the top tier income brackets of the residents inhabiting the high-rise glitzy towers,  all standing in stark contrast to the muted colours of the all-black decked out ghost. 
he wanders down his personal path to Inés’ penthouse,  a journey he had placed the same boots in one too many times.  it is a very special day today but it fills his mouth with a bitter taste to know that he is one of the many millions giving her heartfelt congratulating her successes on another year done.  a truly happy birthday to you indeed Min Inhye.  you have achieved so many in such little time.  a billionaire before thirty and spearheading the country’s economy.  
how long do vampires have left to live anyway ?  she is not immortal but she has been around for god awful centuries long.  the thought plagues his mind,  how many birthdays left for them together  ?  like a stab to his guts,  an invisible dagger twists his intestines around in clenching agony over the anxiety of not having her along for much longer.  no,  this is not the time to think about it.  today is a day of celebration.  it must be perceived as such.  
for once,  it is a breeze to step into her penthouse.  Jaewoo enters silently,  hoping for it to be a surprise although there are no kind of unpredicted moments for the billionaire boss.  she has a knack for keeping up to speed with every single one of his moves.  he could swear that she has injected a chip in his body at this point that enables her ability to track him down to the exact cm spot he inches in.  a warm fuzzy glow tingles throughout his limbs at the thought of her doing such a possessive procedure on him.  proof of how much she cares for him if she ever does that. 
alas,  it seems like nobody is in.  the penthouse with its dimmed swanky lights and motion-triggered lamps do not indicate the presence of anyone already in. 
Jaewoo is stupefied.  but then the clouds of volcanic fury erupt through his temporarily ease of mind like a blazing blast of destruction.  
where is she and who is she with for her birthday ?!
despite the heavy fog of antagonised outrage,  he manages to carefully place one foot in front of the other to step by step walk to her bedroom.  there is an ingrained fear,  a traumatic response almost,  the walk up to her door as he does not know what he can come to witness on the other side. 
empty.
he does not know whether to sigh in relief or allow another seeping wave of resentment to fizzle his blood. it does not matter.  he will leave his birthday card for her by her bedside drawer.  on second thought,  perhaps her pillowcase works better.  nodding in agreement with himself,  the ghost places the letter card on her finely threaded pillow tops.  as he does so,  the faintest smudge of crimson blood transfers from his fingertips to her fluffed up bed decor.  
spinning around on his heel,  he is about to make his way out until the sharp waft of french designer perfume assaults his senses.  his body instinctively sings out in joy to be enveloped with the scent of the woman he loves.  she is near,  she is here  !
“  what is that you bring to my apartment,  Ahn Jaewoo ?  ”  she interrogates with scorn dripping in her tone.  arms folded,  she confronts him at her doorway through narrowed eyes.  but an interested lilt of her head as she soaks in the sight.  
the amount of blood that his clothes are soaked in cannot even be singled out alone.  they cover every inch of his clothes,  almost as if his attire was made to be naturally blood soaked in design.  
“  where did you come from  ?  ”  he sharply retorts,  wanting immediate answers on her whereabouts and how she managed to sneak up on him like this.  yet again.  
“  answer me.  ”  Inés takes another step towards him.  he is suddenly acutely aware of how she towers above him with the new four inch black stilletos she slipped on.  another deliberate move on her end to intimidate him into submission  ?  more than likely.  he is utterly turned on by the sight irrespective of how unapologetically sadistic she has become.  
“  I left you a birthday card,  ”  he obediently breathes out,  rapt with excitement to see her next moves.  he takes on step closer to the imposing yet sexy silhouette of the vampire.  he is not afraid.  he has been waiting for her,  to spend time with her on her birthday no matter the outcomes of his visit  -  may they be mired with smeared heartbreak or a glimpse of trembling lovesick hope.   
“  read it aloud to me,  ”  she sternly instructs,  her voice raspy with the authority she exudes in her birthday outfit of the night.  adorned by a chic black silken dress that seems to have no back,  she has her lips painted a deep ruby red.  it aches Jaewoo to see them untouched by him.  they should be smeared with the traces of his lips on hers.  
Jaewoo is more than willing to oblige.  with a nonchalant shrug,  he mumbles a whatever underneath his breath although he can feel the phantom palpitations of his dead heart racing with elation to be spending minutes with Inés on her birthday.  as it always should be.  
opting to sit at the end of her bed,  his blood soaked jacket swipes the edges of her blankets tainted with crimson.  deliberately edging his legs apart,  he clears his throat before beginning to read out the contents of his scribbled birthday letter to her:
“  dearest Inés,  you live to see another year of another century you managed to outlive in.  the way how you were brought into this universe says a lot about you.  there are few like you,  if there are any at all.  that is why,  once upon a time ago,  I was so smitten and in awe of your existence.  I always thought to myself,  how did I become so lucky in the time where you could have been anywhere else in the universe or could have been brought into the pits of hell by your father during another time period that wasn’t occupied by me just yet.  but yet we had met each other despite all odds.  we met at a time and place that seemed like fate because you and I were both born at the right times.  there is no denying what you have achieved so far even if you do get a lot of privileged leverages over other humans trying to make a living in this era.  
but here we are now,  you may think this isn’t a time where we would get to spend time with each other.  yet your birthday is a celebration that will always be spent with me.  I will always commit to remembering your age, your existence,  what you have accomplished in this life but what you have also done to me.  all the betrayals and wrongdoings that you have inflicted me with,  I will still take them as your gifts to me.  I have learnt over time the true nature of your demonic side so I will reciprocate.  your birthdays and existence is the purpose to my new life now after all.  if your time as a vampire were to end soon,  that would be the finishing line for me too.  do you know how much you mean to me  ?  you are the reason why I am anchored down to earth forever after all.  that is why I will still continue to lovingly celebrate your birth and your existence.  I am nothing without you.  that is why I am honouring your birthday with gifts of my own.  happy birthday,  Inés.  the reason for my continued existence.  ” 
after reading aloud,  Jaewoo anxiously flits his eyes up to see her reaction to his words.  he is not sure if he correctly observed flashes of intrigued admiration or the flitting of desolate nostalgia within the depths of her eyes.  the moment is over too soon,  she reflexively switches back to her cold calculating stare as she fixates on his staring back.  
“  what gifts did you get for me  ?  ”  is it his imagination or is her tone slightly softer in nature now  ?  she begins to approach him on the bed,  heels tapping on the echoed cold marbled floor.  
with a knowing smirk now,  he matches her posture by slowly arising from the bed as he folds his arms,  card still pocketed in his grasp.  “  if you follow the coordinates on my card,  you will see my gifts there.  but if you really want to know what I did in celebration for you,  I’ll tell you now.  ”
Inés walks right up to him now,  bodies almost touching but she piercingly stuns him with her hardened gaze whilst he looks up at her with throbbing excitement.  
“  be a good whore,  and tell me what you got for me.  ”  she enunciates every single of her words as if she has to clarify to a baby,  plucking the card from his hand so she can examine the contents for herself.
“  I did a sacrifice for you baby,  the kind where we are fated to spend all our future birthdays together for the rest of eternity.  you will see when you get there.  I did everything to make sure of it.  ”  he smugly replies,  very much proud of himself for coming up with this one.
“  hm,  interesting.  ”  she raises a brow in surprise,  abruptly shoving at his chest with brutal force that sends him flying backwards on her bed.  the taint of the staining blood spreads out further on her sheets but she seems to be unperturbed by it.  “  then you will be a good boy and let me take my next present for myself. ”  
who is he to say no to the birthday queen  ?
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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Valeria Luiselli, from Faces in the Crowd (tr. Christina MacSweeney)
[Text ID: It’s a ghost story. Is it frightening? No, but it’s a bit sad.]
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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kisses for hubby  /  @thecosmicsen
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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the usual scent of sprigs of lavender & pine tucked in the young prince’s pillow drifts away as he continues his deep slumber.  snared with the sluicing aquatic depths of a siren’s alluring essence instead,  sleeping Jaewoo’s nostrils are flooded with notes of honeyed lilies,  earthy citrus and crystallised vanilla.  his brain registers a new presence in his royal chambers,  an undeniable fresh weight sinking down into his plush mattress.  usually,  the prince is poised with the unconscious instinctive need to yell for his guards and roll off the bed to recover his dagger.  yet he knows this is no threat — even as he lays openly vulnerable in between velvet-laden blankets.  somehow at the back of his mind,  he knows that scent.  he can recognise the aura of something so tantalising ethereal,  one that feels like rays of intangible soft pale moonlight filtering through the gaps of his fingers.  
a sniff behind the shell of his ear tickles him,  causing the sensitive prince to reflexively shudder with a small giggle.  this should have been his cue to wake up and confront the divine woman with the talon fingertips as she curiously runs the pads of her fingers along the curve of his clothed arm.  for whatever mystifying reason,  he remains undisturbed in his slumber with an echo resonating his semi-conscious state.  
do not wake up and ruin it all.  
obediently following the wish of his mind that clearly knows what is going on better,  Jaewoo blissfully tucks his top blanket under his chin with a drawn out sigh.  he almost screams with an eye-popping score when an arm is slithered over his waist but his brain manages to shut him up just in time.  
lord almighty,  she is hugging me  !
warmly comforted by the siren’s embrace,  Jaewoo makes a grunt of appeasement to be the small spoon in this position.  although she prods the back of his head with the tip of her nose,  evidently still inquisitive in sniffing him out,  his heart trills with joy.  
“  I have dreams of you when you do not come,  ”  the prince sighs in his sleep,  his heartfelt whispered sentiment being a product of his semi-consciousness.  
Inés peers at him,  brow quirked as she discerns what movement incited him to verbally express something.  her hand sneaks underneath his pillow,  attempting to fish out any tucked away secrets as her other hand soothes him with light strokes along his thighs.  what she finds is his tiny little notebook of poetry,  most sections dedicated to writing out his favourite quotes from literature he encounters.  
as she may wonder why something seemingly innocent is hidden under his sleeping head,  she easily recognises the handwriting of a young nine year old Jaewoo scrawling out his favourite quotes on love resembling the night’s sky.  now she knows how foolishly romantic he had been ever since his youth.  it enraptures her attention,  her arm tucking the prince to her chest as her eyes scan every tiny detail that he has scribbled in his notebook.  her pert nipples peeking through the flimsy slip she wears prods into Jaewoo’s back — the prince wholly unfamiliar with such a sensation.  within his slumber,  he flushes deeply,  the blood rushing between his legs as he is cosied away in this tiny new bubble that the siren encased him in on his own bed.  
this does not slip past her,  her palm brushing over his groin to test the extent of his growing erection.  toying with him,  she blows a puff of air into his ear which invokes immediate shuddering from the prince yet again.  from time to time,  she peers over his side to watch his peacefully sleeping flushed face in still attention.  
before the breaking clouds of dusty pink to announce dusk arrives,  the siren withdraws from the prince’s side in favour of poking around his royal chambers.  there are plenty of portraits for her to track his lineage and all the handed-down ornaments that he proudly cherishes in hanging displays.  the kingdom’s affinity for being the country of flowers is highlighted in the prince’s chambers with detailed pink and baby blue wreaths hanging all over.  his desk facing the grand balcony in which the moonlight douses its reflective light is his favourite spot,  evident in how it is still full of scribbled letters and strewn portraits.  some of the bewitching siren that he has recently encountered.  Inés can see how he has neatly annotated her with  ‘ the most beautiful woman I have ever seen ’   and  ‘ gorgeous long-flowing black hair ’.  much to her amusement,  the prince covered her pubic region with a puff of cloud and made sure to cover her nipples with her locks of hair although the curves of her breasts are still accurately drawn.  
then the endless array of gold-textured books in his mini library to explain the prince’s irrational night-time behaviours.  his dreams of chasing fairytales are exposed through his book choices of mythical beasts,  adventure mapping and navigating through the cosmos.  she flits through the pages of every single book,  eventually coming across his hidden smuggled book of obscene knowledge on intimate love-making.  this piques her interest even more as to why the prince self-censored the pictures with opaque paper flaps and how the ones with the most dented creases are positions that she had personally never seen before either.  
approaching the slumbering prince,  she crawls on top of him this time.  breasts pressed against his arm,  she peers down on him with heightened curiosity after gifted with newfound knowledge on who he is and what he spends his time luxuriating in.  
“  you are full of many dreams little prince,  ”  her voice,  smooth and sultry as ever,  elicits his erection to its full state.  “  my hope,  my heaven,  my trust must be,  my gentle guide,  in following thee.  ”  she directly quotes one of his fantasied sentences in his hidden notebook before giving him one last sniff.  
the siren departs.  
in wake of her leave,  Jaewoo shortly arises from his strange-tinged sleep.  unwilling to stir too much in case he was to disturb the presence of the other,  he is swift to realise that she is gone if it wasn’t all a dream.  stomach curling with nostalgic nausea,  he sits up with drowsy eyes and a cock heavy with lust.  swirling thoughts of undecipherable moments between his dreams and reality confuses the prince.  the balcony doors are still tightly shut but the air of the room is inherently different.  gusts of fresh air and the distinguishable scent of his siren still linger around him — the ghost of her nipples also refusing to depart from his tingling body.  
before he is about to rush out to his sprawling balcony,  his acute senses pick up the unfamiliar sensation of something pricking into the back of his neck and arm.  baffled,  he hisses in pain when the foreign objects inflict deeper pain when he grazes his palm over the area.  realising he has to pick it out one by one,  he unfurls his palm to a set of iridescent scales.  jaw dropping,  he doesn’t have to think twice about who this belongs to.  after all,  he has spent hours obsessively re-sketching and re-annotating the otherworldly woman of his dreams.  he has noted it all down to meticulous high detail.  from the sheer gold glisten of her skin to the piercing set of razors that seem to be her teeth.  
she was here  !  it was not all a dream  !
glancing down at his velvet-gold embroidered sheets,  the iridescent scales are daintily scattered all over,  now illuminating the rosy peach skies that dapple through his high windows,  Jaewoo cannot stop buzzing with enlightened excitement to know that his dream was not a mere dream.  now he has one itching question :  why did she visit him  ?  is it normal for sirens to venture far from their lakes  ?
he must find out tonight. 
it is agonising with the way how his day rolls on so torturously slow.  highly conscious of his position and being the studiously obedient son,  Jaewoo does enjoy his responsibilities and tasks that he has to undertake as a prince alongside his twin brother.  but today isn’t the day where he can patiently wait everything out when he knows the woman of his dreams paid a nightly visit to him in his sleep.  forget the fact that he had to immediately relieve himself of his erection shortly whilst the scent of her lingered in the air and on his cushions and that he deliberately rubbed his thighs against her scales as he rubbed his erection out.  
“  you are unusually terse today my dear brother,  ”  Taesoo quips with his eyes dancing with mischievous knowing light as the princes march down the gardens for an afternoon tea with a visiting ambassador.  “  is it a woman  ?  ”
jerked out of his thoughts of how he can replicate her scent with the palace’s flowers,  Jaewoo stares at him with widened eyes.  “  w-what.  no.  well yes.  I hate to lie to you.  it is a woman.  am I that transparent  ?  forgive me.  I hope it will not show during tea.  ”
“  no need to fear,  I’m the one who knows you best.  I do believe nobody else suspects the same thing.  if they do,  they all suppose you just want to go off for your evening gallop or whatever strenuous exercise that gets your excitement out.  ”  Taesoo shrugs nonchalantly,  shooing off a bumblebee with a laugh.  “  now isn’t the best time to ask about her but you will promise to tell me later,  yes  ?  ”
“  of course,  ”  Jaewoo can easily blurt out since he still in the process of figuring out Inés’ history so there isn’t a tremendous amount to divulge.  “  I’ve only just met her but she is out of this world... there is still so much I need to learn about her.  ”   and I got her scales in a jewellery pouch that I jerked off to last night.
Taesoo seems to clue in the out of the world notion unbeknownst to Jaewoo so he does not press further as they approach their high-tea.  
the rest of the day drolls on,  the kingdom usually blessed with breezy winds and buttery warm sunlight.  Jaewoo’s agitated nerves are soothed by the palace’s lakeside scent and glittery oceanic depths as he goes for his evening stroll.  he can’t help but wistfully think that there is something intangibly meant to be between him and the lady of the lake when his own kingdom is known for its lakesides and all he has ever grown up and known is the giant lake body that his palace grounds is built around on.  the siren’s lake seems to embody some characteristics of what he usually sees,  his most adored parts of the palace grounds where weeping willows,  bloomed wisteria and lily pads adorn the shimmering lake ripples.  utterly gorgeous except the siren’s lake has the eerie mist and surreal air to differentiate it from a normal body of water.  
he makes sure to eat extra carbs during dinner and sneaks away extra bread and pastries for his nightly excursion.  as per his usual sneaking out routine,  he trained his body to sleep for two hours before awakening at midnight to commence his voyage to the woman of his dreams.  this night he does mull over his choice of dressing more than usual before settling on his typical choice of his ruby encrusted golden armour set.  
after sneaking out the palace grounds and into the arching vast shadows of the forest,  he clambers into his full armour before retracing his memorised journey back to the lake.  munching on a pastry on his way,  he saves the jam-centre pastry to share with her in curious inkling of how she would react to human treats.  
and there it is,  he begins to near the concealed weeping willow obstructed flower-dotted landscape of the siren’s lake.  from afar,  he thinks he can spot the siren in her fully naked form glowing underneath the ripples of pure white moonlight.  but as he draws closer,  she is nowhere to be seen.  
“  miss lady of the lake,  ”  he calls for her,  voice catching in his throat from sheer joy.  “  I have not one but several questions for you to answer tonight.  ”
but not a bubble of air nor a twitch of a movement is in sight.  the lake is still,  the moon crescent in its glistening imagery on the transparent undisturbed aquatic surface.  bristling fluffs of reeds demurely sway in the slight breeze that gusts by every now and then but the rest of the ecosystem is unperturbed.  bare glimmers of the rich bedrocks heaped with mountains of gold twinkle alongside the petal soft moonlight.  the siren is nowhere in sight despite a few more desperate greetings from the prince as he traverses the perimeter of the lake with beseeching eyes.  
eventually after thirty minutes of roaming around in strategic circles and wiggling on tree logs for a higher viewpoint,  the prince settles to sit by the side.  unfurling the letter he had written as a back-up communication point,  he tightly ties it up in a silk ribbon before squeezing it in a cork bottle. 
sailing out the little glass bottle,  now sealed with a twine of an orange blossom,  his heartfelt questions and desires,  he watches the bottle bob out to the middle.  the second it reaches the middle point of the grand crescendo of the moonlit lake,  it sinks down in a froth of bubbles which he guesses most treasures end up getting sucked in.  
with a little hum,  he gets out his jam-filled pastry before attempting his unabashed plea.  “  I brought a pastry for you to try from the palace,  I thought we may perhaps eat this one together ?  ”
and there she is.  seemingly out of nowhere in full naked glory underneath the beaming moonlight,  soft ripples cresting out from her defined waist as she appears out in the middle of the lake.  wordless,  she peers at him and it takes all of Jaewoo’s might not to allow his eyes to wander where the trickles of crystal clear water from her raven locks cascade down to.  
“  there you are,  ”  he breathlessly rejoices.  before he can revel in his victory,  she completely disappears from his sight again.  “  wait  !  ”
now she appears behind the reeds on the other side of the lake,  almost ghostly with how she teleports from one spot to another.  the stillness of the reeds conceal flecks of her nude figure as she continues to gaze at him,  a wicked glint in her eyes now.  tilting her head at him noiselessly,  she seems to beckon to him.  
scrambling to his feet immediately,  Jaewoo rushes to get over to her where she stands by running on the side of the lake.  when he draws several yards closer,  she dissipates yet again in a blink of a second.  this seems to be their particular routine of cat and mouse.  the unspoken thrill in the chase of the legend prolonged the start of any actual conversation in favour of Jaewoo showing off his steely determination in catching the siren.  as she flits back and forth between various spots around the floral dotted lake,  she initiates the official beckoning of the prince to come to her with a subtle twist of her body and an arm outreached towards him,  drawing him in towards her direction with a crooked finger.  
at this point,  the prince is almost breathless since he gets engrossed in the physical task of reaching her as soon as possible even within his laden armour.  not that he minds at all,  he can only fervently and ardently pray that this is a unique sequence that she engages with only him and him alone.  their little dance and chase routine.  it brings a smile of gratification to his lips once he is finally allowed to be caught up to the siren,  back to her original chase spot in the reeds.  
the prince wades to her in the shallow depths,  eyes dancing with the reflection of the stars and the moon in the ever-lit night sky. 
“  I dreamt of you last night,  ”  he wastes no time in his confession,  breathless and flushed in his pursuit.  “  that you visited me in my dreams,  back home in the palace.  y-you spent the night with me.  it felt too real,  almost as if you were actually there.  there was nothing but the scent of you to fill my lungs.  was that a mere dream of mine or did you happen to visit without my knowledge  ?  ”
“  would you wish me to visit you in your dreams,  little prince  ?  ”  she answers his question with another of her own,  tongue running over the tips of her razor teeth.  her fingertips skim over the aquatic surface,  toying with the ripples.  as she does so,  her wetted strands sway from side to side,  exposing her breasts to the full pale moonlight.  causing the prince to flush crimson deep,  he averts his eyes to fiercely concentrate on what her eyes have to offer as a guess to what she really means.  
“  I would like greatly that,  yes.  I hadn’t received such comfort in a while.  as surreal in its realism it was,  I was hoping for it to be true.  that you did indeed visit me last night.  I slept soundly for once.  ”  he pauses,  her head beckoning inquisitively as her arms fold across her chest.  “  but if you were to do so,  what would be your intentions  ?  ” 
“  what intentions do you seek from a siren such as myself me little prince  ?  ”  she teases,  her teeth duly glittering as the moonlight catches her unnatural set of razors.  gracefully taking a stride closer to him,  Jaewoo’s heart palpitations rapidly pick up,  the prince immediately gulping in nervous anticipation.  he wonders if she can hear how loud his heartbeat is.  how embarrassing.  
his immediate thoughts are of her being swollen happy,  pregnant with his babies whilst their other children are playing about on the fine lawn of the palace’s curated flower gardens.  he would very much like to indulge in all the ballroom waltzes with her,  sneaking away from the high of the royal affairs party to kiss her passionately at the top of the staircases underneath the romantic soft glow of the hundred lit chandelier.  what he would do to see the form of her naked back perched on his study desk chair,  cascading raven locks tumbling off her shoulders as he gets to hear her read out from his favourite poetry sets.  they could sit on one of the many grand pianos situated in the drawing rooms after afternoon tea,  janking out coupley tunes together in synced silliness.  
basically,  he would like to court her to be his future wife it seems.  but surely he cannot expose that so early to her  !
“  the intentions I seek from you... I would be happy to accept any from you as long as it does no harm to me,  nor my family or kingdom.  I do have to say that I would be disappointed if you did not take a personal interest in who I am as person.  since I am very much interested in knowing you as a whole.  who is Inés,  what is her history as the most recalled beautiful legend.  I want to know it all.  I’d like to know you all.  I’m quite interested in you.  you could say there is... emotional investment too.  ”  he admits sheepishly,  cheeks colouring peachier.  
another stride closer,  she is now right at his chest and Jaewoo gets to admire her lengthy height that matches his stature.  he can meticulously scrutinise how the glistening droplets of her lake bead across her locks,  intensifying the sheen of glimmering gold that seems to canvas her figure.  her fingertips trace his embedded family’s crescent before resting upon his chest,  where his thumping heart wildly races behind.  
“  tell me more,  what do you mean by that.  ”  she huskily murmurs out,  thumbing across his armour.  this does not help his case at all,  he feels close to passing out with the way how his heart does not seem to abate in its racing palpitations.  
“  the scales on your wrist... I saw some of them in my bed.  was it really all a dream my lady  ?  ”  Jaewoo blurts out,  unable to hold in his question the second he saw the iridescent cadence glittering off her held up wrist that lays upon his chest.   
“  what if it wasn’t all a dream.  would say you little prince  ?  ”  she gently interrogates with a low hum.  
well,  that is far too many things as a confirmation for him to comprehend.  he is admittedly unprepared for this line of scenario and the implications of what she is hinting at is far too beyond his dreams to fathom.  
“  that you should be my date for our upcoming ball,  whether you would like to be one in public with me or if you wish to seek a low profile initially.  I’d like to show you around where I grew up personally,  a tour around with my own individual insights.  then we may sneak out together to my own lake.  ”  Jaewoo decides to go for the kill,  start courting her immediately whether she perceives it as such or not.  
“  then do what at your lake  ?  ”  Inés breathes across his lips,  eyes wickedly taunting him to spell it out.  
“  uh - um,  we could read.  do portraits.  have a picnic but you’d have to tell me siren dietary requirements besides greedy men.  ”  Jaewoo tries not to get himself in a tizzy of what it could be like making out in his favourite hidden spot by his lakeside.  
“  I can substitute with little princes for one night,  ”  she airily laughs,  teeth glinting pure white.
“  a-after we get to know each other better  !  ”  he deduces her words a particular way which elicits further airy laughter out of her.  
kissing two of her fingertips,  she presses them to the lips of the breathless prince who is instantly on a climatic high of restless elation.  before he knows it,  she is out in the middle of the lake again,  breasts fully out in the midst of the shimmering moonlight as she gazes back to him with a coy smile. 
“  we will see.  sweet dreams tonight little prince.  ”
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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in the midst of exhilarating adrenaline-induced heart gooey romances of having an older college girlfriend,  Jaewoo has never been this blissed out before in his entire life.  the courtship turned official relationship can be summarised in a few aesthetic snapshots to highlight the past few weeks.  his bathroom’s toothbrush holder now occupied by two.  the gradual increments of his wardrobe dedicated for his clothes gently being swallowed up by Inés’ own section.  a fuller fridge to satisfy the stomachs for two.  intertwined hands swaying in the breeze on campus.  a warm pair of arms with a mischievous kiss smacked to eager lips in between classes.  matching cloud soft fluffy socks on his bed.  her dark hair sprawling off her shoulder and covering her textbook figures.  what a life what a life what a life.  how did he get so lucky ?
there is only one festering issue.  it’s a sickening inconvenience and a crime against humanity in Jaewoo’s point of view.  the fact that he cannot indulge in memory erasure or going back in time ruins the fact that he cannot stop the horrific graphic flashbacks of the time he walked on Inés and Cyril a while back.  in dawning revulsion,  Jaewoo realises he is in for a long haul the moment he sees his teammate’s smirking face to only be smacked with the explicitly leering sight of Cyril obnoxiously peering over Inés’ naked body in a nausea-inducing flashback.  no no no.  he must forget about the way how Cyril had the audacity to jostle Inés on his lap,  eliciting a low pleasurable from Inés,  daring hands skimming over all.  he will also most definitely not linger on issues of dick size because that is something that his fragile heart and withering crushed up ego cannot bear to comprehend at the moment.  no.  he must forget about how the fact that his teammate’s dick that looked like it had a life of its own.
so fuck it,  he tells himself despite the aggressive grinding of his teeth and tersely clenched jaw as he gazes at the face of his all-knowing smug teammate in the locker room.  Cyril isn’t competition anymore but he was previously competition.  he still flits and hovers around like a pesky fly waiting to be zapped  —  constantly circling around Inés at optimal distance to irritate the hell out of Jaewoo.  but not enough to yield chiding from Inés.  
not that Jaewoo would allow Cyril anywhere near Inés to begin with.  especially not after seeing Inés riding his dick with swaying hips and full nonchalance.  no.  Cyril needs a dose of explicit reminders from Jaewoo himself that Inés is now officially and monogamously all his.  and very much happily so.  
the sick twist of fate is the fact that Cyril plays centre for their university’s ice-hockey team and Jaewoo can’t avoid seeing his puffed up haughty figure.  in a more cruel thread of destiny in this life,  Jaewoo has to work in tandem with him in his role of being right-wing.  everything had been amicable with them as teammates working closely with each other until Jaewoo had a jolting realisation that he has fallen for Inés.  that made him intensely diligent and hawk-eyed about his surroundings when she is within near proximity.  that’s when he started noticing the subtle cues between Cyril and Inés when they encountered each other after practice.  Jaewoo immediately picked up on how Cyril’s hands linger on her hip for a bit too long,  his lips moving with words that seemed to promise something.  what caused hopeful doubt for Jaewoo was the fact that Inés always seemed so disinterested despite her own lips curving up in slight amusement until she strutted away.  
naturally,  it sparked furious sparks of indignation within Jaewoo and he knew his place was in danger.  that’s why he had rushed over to confess to Inés before being smacked with the graphic sound of Cyril’s balls slapping in Inés’ bedroom.  his teammate always being one step ahead of him.  they knew each other,  Jaewoo knew that.  but not the fact that Inés enjoys having his dick buried in her after practice.  
initially,  he reckons he can play it off with full nonchalance.  Inés is his official girlfriend now.  the entire campus knows all about it.  in typical college fashion,  the word spread like wildfire the second the pair stepped on campus hand-in-hand.  on the university’s local gossip social media account,  a blurry picture of Inés’ hand on Jaewoo’s ass as she beckons him in for a kiss with a devious smirk instantly got shared a few hundred times around.  THE HOTTEST GIRL ON CAMPUS IS IN A D/S RELATIONSHIP WITH ICE HOCKEY WINGER  ?!  became the hottest topic for lunchtime discussion.  this had exceedingly infuriated Jaewoo that anyone could not easily deduce them as a couple crazily in love with each other and officially in a full-time committed relationship. 
of course,  he had to take it to instagram.  making sure to be sitting snug between her legs as she strokes his hair,  he ensures the length of his mirror captures her face unconcealed for the shot.  in a blaze of both fury and entitled possessiveness,  he proudly captions the post with nothing beats coming home to cuddles from your girlfriend after a long day of quantum mechanics ♥  before anonymously tipping it to the gossip account.  job done.  within three hours,  the entire campus knows all about their confirmed status of being a doting couple in love.  it is official.  Min Inhye is no longer available unless you’re willing to risk it all for some drama.  until now,  Jaewoo has the reputation of being the cute wide-eyed hockey star.  much to his chagrin,  his baby boy image does little to deter the relentless homewreckers.  it really doesn’t help that he is dating the hottest woman on campus who everyone has been trying to get a taste of.  if only everyone knew how ugly his jealous can manifest when he is in zone . . .
apparently the opportunity for his irrational and intensely ingrained jealousy arises soon.  the moment Jaewoo steps in the locker room for training,  he makes eye contact with a sneering Cyril.  Jaewoo is stupefied.  immediate flashbacks to Cyril’s naked body pressed against Inés’ whiz through his mind,  paling the boy as a terrible distortion of nausea burns the back of his throat.  no no no.  Inés is his now  !  he shouldn’t dwell on this  !  
alas,  his efforts to reassure himself are in vain.  in full overflowing glory,  his jealousy rushes all the colour to his face in a heated fit of red fury.  as if attuned to his aura,  Cyril quirks a brow before cheekily quipping.  “  tell Inés I said hi and to  —  ”
“  —  HIII.  ”  Jaewoo enthusiastically and firmly interjects before Cyril can continue that dangerous avenue.  he is about to clap Cyril on the back but he flinches at the thought of one-to-one skin contact after they have encountered each other.  Inés literally using Jaewoo as a way to pull off from Cyril’s wet dick,  the subtle sloshing noise still ringing in his ears.  shuddering violently at the potent flashback,  Jaewoo opts for a fist bump instead which Cyril returns with the usual cocky smile and gloating eyes.  “  you haven’t been slacking lately huh.  ” 
“  no slacking off,  too busy getting your gir—  ”
“  AND THAT REMINDS ME that you have one more chance to buy merch before it runs out of stock for this season if you want extras.  ”  Jaewoo practically yells over his words,  clapping his hands together in vigour.  amused,  Cyril decides to finish stripping and change into his training attire before playfully bumping Jaewoo on his way out.  
“  is Inés coming to watch practice  ?  ”  he winks at Jaewoo.  “  I’ll put my A game on for her,  don’t worry about my performance.  focus on your blind passes in the meantime.  ”  before Jaewoo can retort,  he exits the changing room with a wave over his shoulder.  
so wrapped up in his building disgust for his teammate,  Jaewoo had completely forgotten for a moment that Inés said she has the time to watch the team practice on ice today.  it both alleviates his wounded soul but simultaneously reignites the tension in his shoulders to know Cyril will be breathing the same air as her.  
damn it  !  his stomach internally recoils with intensifying abhorrence that flows like liquid hot lava fizzling through his veins.  striking out a curled fist against the nearest locker from pure vehemence,  Jaewoo has to hastily recover his rapid rise in heated breathing when his other teammates slowly start filing in the locker room.  
“  hey Jaewoo,  are you okay  ?  you look like you got fever.  are you sick  ?!  ”  one of his teammates lean in close with concern,  raising a brow at his white-knuckled fist on the locker.  “  go home and rest if you don’t feel good.  don’t push yourself.  your body will take longer to recover.  ”
puffing his burning cheeks out,  Jaewoo musters up every last bit of willpower to force a cheery smile before feigning to stretch both arms out behind him.  “  no no,  I’m fine.  I came in running,  I thought I was late.  ”  
everyone erupts into raucous laughter and snorting fits.  “  you  ?!  late  ?!   whoa,  that’s our captain.  even when you get the hottest girlfriend on campus,  you still show up early to practice.  ”
in a noisy burst of chatter,  the teasing jeers continue as his teammates bump him on the back.  true,  Jaewoo takes his captain responsibilities seriously.  but there were several close calls when he got easily distracted by Inés sending a harmless selfie of her in class,  blouse unbuttoned a few buttons down and lips parted as she looks bored to whatever the lecturer is droning on.  he doesn’t find it embarrassing that the mere sight of Inés looking bored and her pretty silky hair tumbling over her shoulders has the ability to immediately turn him on.  the reason why he almost arrived late to practice was due to the fact he had to quickly go to the nearest bathroom cubicle to calm down his raging boner.  
since he comes to practice fully dressed now,  all he needs to do is refill his bottle and get his skates out.  one day,  Inés inquired about his changing habits and told him that he needs to change where nobody can see him.  without questioning her on why,  he ecstatically obeyed her instructions.  it’s something his teammates immediately picked up on,  poking fun at Jaewoo on why he doesn’t take his shirt off anymore but he can always laugh it off with them.  
but this once,  he can already feel the intense flaring of his green-eyed tendencies causing tension in his unusually stiff body even after warming up.  this is a matter that he cannot laugh off.  he is pissed.  and the second he glides on the ice,  his worries temporarily fleeing him as he is reinvigorated to get back on the ice,  Cyril abruptly shatters his tranquility yet again. 
“  hey look Jaewoo,  it’s Inés over there.  ”  Cyril squeezes him around the shoulders so he can firmly readjust Jaewoo in Inés’ direction.  ah,  here she is,  looking radiantly gorgeous on the bleachers.  there is a detail that exacerbates Jaewoo’s jealousy which he can pick up on with hawk-eye scrutiny is the fact that she has no bra on.  he makes a mental note to have a conversation about that to her later on.  whenever they get a break during training,  he is running over to her to throw his hoodie over her head.  
she waves in which both Cyril and Jaewoo wave back at her.  igniting Jaewoo’s already infuriated irritation,  he turns to Cyril to lightly shove at his chest without thought.  “  hey,  back off.  ” 
“  what,  I’m just greeting her.  you’re not the only one who knows her.  take it easy.  ”  Cyril heartily claps at Jaewoo’s back,  his eyes twinkling away in wicked amusement.  
internally cringing at the point of touching contact,  Jaewoo strains out another smile.  “  true,  how long have you known her for ?  ”
“  oh time to practice.  ”  Cyril whizzes off to their coach who is now on the ice without warning. god damn it.  Jaewoo knows Cyril is deliberately concealing the information from him because of some innate sadistic nature of his teammate.  it’s something Jaewoo has vainly been trying to find out for a while now.  he doesn’t mean to be that obsessive but it drives him wild to think about how long Inés has been potentially fucking his roommate.  there were evenings where Jaewoo has relentlessly combed through social media posts for any hints.  yet he has reached the point where his anxious jealousy is gnawing at him and fogs up his brain thickly.  he will ask Inés directly and hope that she gives him a straight answer on that.  more mental notes to tack down.  apparently Inés is in for a long night for deeply serious discussions.  
as practice clacks on,  Jaewoo eventually loses himself in the spirit of the sport he thrives in.  although the possessive tension in his shoulder blades never truly leave,  he does begin to loosen up and forget about his young boyfriend jealousy woes for a bit.  
all until he sees Cyril making a beeline to the ice rink exit when their coach announces their first break.  completely panicking,  he rushes over in a frenzy to physically separate Cyril from going to Inés.  this time,  he feels like a fool when he sees Cyril heading to the direction of the toilets instead.  huffing and puffing,  Jaewoo remembers his agenda of hiding his girlfriend’s nipples so he rushes over to fetch his hoodie from his locker before joyfully bouncing back to Inés.  
“  hey baby,  ”  he cheerfully greets her,  a smile stretching from ear to ear as he swoops in to hug her up close his sweaty body for a smacking kiss that resonates off in a stadium echo.  good.  “  how are you,  how has your day been going so far today  ?  ”
“  hey angel,  ”  she hums back,  also embracing him in a tight hug for a kiss in which she prolongs with sly tongue action that leaves him hiccuping in fluster.  “  why are your cheeks redder than usual  ?  ”
“  a-are they  ?  ”  upon interrogation,  Jaewoo’s cheeks flush aggressively crimson as he stares back at her,  echoing back her question.  thinking this is the perfect distraction,  in one fluid moment,  he hurriedly thrusts his hoodie gently on her to cover up the perky sight of her nipples for the world to see.  making sure to pull at the chest area so it doesn’t fall tight and flat on her breasts,  his gaze flits back up to her piercing inquisitive look as her nails dig slightly into his cheeks,  her hand gently cupping his face as she does so.  humming out,  she brings his face right back in up close to hers with the tips of their nose bumping. 
“  what was Cyril saying to you  ?  ”  Jaewoo knows that tone,  it isn’t a question.  this is a command to tell.  
“  he was reminding me that he knows you.  ”  he sulkily grumbles in reply,  annoyed to remember his teammate’s history with the love of his life.   “  which reminds me,  how long have you known him for  ?  ”  this sounds like a prime opportunity to get an answer perhaps.  
“  I’ve known him for a while,  childhood friends.  ”  Inés shrugs it off,  seemingly unfazed by her answer despite it immediately setting out a display of aggressive fireworks in Jaewoo’s chest.  
“  childhood friends  ?!  ”  he practically growls out,  jealousy fully obvious.  damn  !  he suspected they knew each other for a while now but not that long either.  rocking on his feet from sheer anger that overcomes him now,  he can feel himself slowly becoming untethered as he gets plagued by a flurry of envious thoughts.  Cyril knows which childhood side dishes Inés had prepared for her dinners.  they probably walked to school together.  he got to witness what Inés was like during her childhood and teen years.  what does Cyril not know about her.  they probably spent after school hours together cooking up a storm.  no wonder they had a particular chemistry between the two . . .  because they have known each other for their entire lives  !  
as if she can immediately sense the immense turmoil,  Inés quirks a brow as she slides her arms around his waist to loop Jaewoo in.  “  baby talk to me.  ”
“  I’m fine,  just jealous that Cyril got to know you for longer.  ”  Jaewoo plays it off with a nonchalant smile,  tilting his head as his eyes crinkle up in an obviously fake smile.  
before they can continue the conversation,  his coach shrilly rings his whistle to get the boys back on the rink to commence training.  grabbing his energy drink,  Jaewoo viciously crushes the plastic bottle with one hand as he gulps down the entire thing in one go.  
“  I’ll see you in a bit babe.  ”  he leans in to kiss her forehead then her lips chastely,  no doubt leaving the bitter taste of jealousy to linger in her mouth.  hopping down from the bleachers,  he runs back to get ready as he tries to imprison this new piece of nefarious knowledge at the back of his mind so he can focus on practicing.  
no matter what,  he cannot vanquish the burning thoughts of Cyril walking with Inés home after school.  then he immediately gets triggered to remember how he previously saw his teammate’s dick completely buried and hidden in Inés,  cutely perched on top of her bed and heels facing Jaewoo.  it induces the same vile sensation of torrid vomit scratching the back of his throat,  eyes watering as he misses his practice shot into the net.  sighing in great frustration,  he realises how he has to get out of his own head so he can perform well as per usual.  a concerned teammate slaps him on the back as Jaewoo dolefully heads to the back of the line.  
“  you don’t look like yourself,  are you okay  ?  seriously if you aren’t feeling well,  skip practice.  coach will understand.  ”
“  no no I’m fine.  ”  Jaewoo insists,  patting him vigorously back in return in what he hopes passes off as genuine reassurance. 
of course today they have to practice on their saucer passes.  naturally Jaewoo is tasked to practice with the team’s centre.  a smirking Cyril skirts up to him,  behind the makeshift barrier,  but still close enough for Jaewoo to sniff at his expensive aftershave.  what the fuck does he have so much scent on for  ?  is that what he went back to his lockers for  ?  
“  you first,  ”  Cyril dares him,  cocky brows raised.  
“  sure,  ”  Jaewoo chirps in agreement,  taking his stance and positioning himself aptly.  without warning,  a violent seize over his body like an ungodly force of possession clutches hold over him as he readies his hockey stick.  striking the puck accurately over the barrier,  the puck piercingly whistles through the air  —  headed straight for Cyril’s crotch.  
credit to Cyril,  his innate sharp reflexes kick in as he manages to just about to narrowly avoid the puck dealing any damage to his balls,  whacking his inner thigh instead.  irrespective of the fact they wear protective pants,  Cyril seems to pick up on the message as the puck clatters back to the ground.  he starts cracking up,  thoroughly amused and not at all unbothered.  
“  almost there,  you were just slightly off,  ”  Cyril never ceases to stop smirking,  fully irritating Jaewoo deeper.  “  do you wanna try that again  ?  Inés is watching.  ”
“  stop looking at her.  ”  Jaewoo instinctively huffs out,  a frown immediately creasing his features.  “  focus on what is in front of you.  ”
they start bickering lightly but somehow easing back into their usual flow of feedback as they practice their passes.  Jaewoo sinks back into being immersed in his sports headspace,  all his woes temporarily forgotten as his perfectionist side drills him to be as accurate as possible.  
yet the temporary relief doesn’t last for too long.  as the team heads for the final hour of training,  their coach splits them into two teams for a practice match.  as Cyril skates to his position,  he eases across the ice back gliding as he turns to Inés in the bleachers,  waving at her again with a distinct wink this time.  
he did not have the nerve.
but Cyril does.  he is feeding off from Jaewoo’s emanating waves of frothing jealousy,  this Jaewoo knows.  but it does little to abate the raging waves of triggering memories,  all the catastrophic scenarios of two childhood friends sharing historical-based chemistry fast forward to recent sights of their slicked up naked bodies grinding up against each other.  Jaewoo can almost swear that he experienced something close to an aneurysm,  a vehement spark of ugly jealousy popping hot in his brain.  it trickles throughout his veins,  charging him with intense adrenaline in his body as he readies his hockey stick  —  Cyril on the opposing team.  Cyril glances at him,  teeth sparkling underneath the stadium rink lights as he grins.  can that even be called a challenge if Cyril seems so unperturbed by it all  ?  what kind of game is he playing at  ?
deciding to ignore him for now,  Jaewoo sends a flying kiss and a finger heart to Inés.  although she is at a distance,  he can see how she is on the edge of her seat from interest,  legs crossed and palm resting on the bordering chair as she examines the unfolding sight in front of her.  suddenly self-conscious,  he realises that he was so far in his own destructive almost murderous thoughts of jealousy that he forgot that Inés has her eyes on him.  what is she thinking right now  ?
the practice match commences.  Jaewoo manages to calm down his increasing hyperventilation with steadying deep breaths that he times with his movements,  swinging precisely and swiftly as he melds back into his team role.  
ten minutes of the match tick by without much fuss.  there is nothing much besides the expected scuffle and occasional imbalances.  echoed yells for effective communication bounce off the rink walls and sticks slamming on ice fill up the air.  it all goes smoothly as far as an ice-hockey match can be until Jaewoo is directly facing Cyril who is about to take another sneaky shot as he jets down the rink.  
an inexplicable animalistic urge washes over Jaewoo,  his feet lifting up without his permission.  not knowing what he is doing,  his body moving on its own accord in the moment,  he takes three aggressive strides towards Cyril’s back that faces him as he chases the puck to the net.
 three,  two,  one,  BAM.
Jaewoo charges at Cyril,  the two colliding against the borders with Cyril falling first.  everyone breaks out in a clamour. 
“  AHN JAEWOO  !  ”  his coach bellows for the first time at him,  raging like a bull as he marches towards the two to pick them both up.  
with a breathless laugh,  Cyril waves his hands.  “  it’s okay,  he got too excited.  his control has been weird today.  he usually isn’t like this.  ”
unnerved and entirely surprised to see Cyril having his back,  Jaewoo tenderly gets up before reluctantly offering a helping hand.  hoisting Cyril up,  Jaewoo is slightly disturbed by the fact how he feels no remorse to the fact that he has potentially bruised Cyril all over.  serves him right.  
either way,  Jaewoo gets an earful from his thundering enraged coach who smacks the back of his head repeatedly before continuing to deafeningly roar at him.  he gets severely scolded which Jaewoo reckons his coach is trying to ensure that Jaewoo will never attempt that again since he has never exhibited this type of behaviour before.  in the end,  his behaviour gets marked off as boarding and Cyril gets his deserved penalty that he wins.  but that only comes after ten minutes of Jaewoo having his head bowed as his coach wets his face with spit flying out of his mouth from pure fury.  
how could you as a captain barge at him like that  ?  do you want to kill your own centre you idiot  ?  do you want me to strip you of your title  ?  pull that off again and I’ll ban your girlfriend from practice and all future matches. 
the last threat is what lifts Jaewoo’s face up in alarm,  he needs Inés at every single match and practice.  that is the one dream he always had and he cannot allow Cyril to steal that away from him.  he begins to profusely apologise,  happily enacting his physical punishments of five hundred pushups off the ice after the match.  his coach makes sure to get Cyril and Jaewoo to hug it out too,  Cyril heartily clapping Jaewoo on the back who apologises to him one more time despite how Cyril’s aftershave makes Jaewoo’s head swirl with even more nausea-inducing flashbacks.  
after his five hundred pushup,  his coach heads home before giving him one last firm scolding.  with a huge groan,  Jaewoo collapses to the floor as his arms give way immediately on the final count.  as the rink is empty now,  everyone already gone when it was Jaewoo’s time to enact his punishment after the match,  only Inés is left.  she walks over to him,  his hoodie draped over her arm.  when did she take that off  ?  
“  let’s go home,  ”  she gently murmurs,  sweeping his sweaty bangs to one side so she can kiss his forehead repeatedly,  tongue discreetly licking some of the beads of sweat off.  as per their usual routine,  she has already collected his bag and belongings from his locker as she doesn’t like him taking a shower or changing in the changing rooms.  but it had invoked his jealousy on multiple occasions to know that she casually struts in his changing room,  all boys half naked if not fully naked to watch her breeze in confidently to pick up Jaewoo’s things.  of course,  Inés waves it off as no big deal.  she only has eyes for him after all,  as she seeks to continually reassure him.  
for once,  they head home in silence as Jaewoo is simply too worn out to say anything with his head still reeling from the aftermath of today’s provoked jealousy and its consequences.  even though his coach gave him an earful and furious scolding like he never received from him before,  Jaewoo still cannot bring himself to feel any remorse or regret for going after Cyril like that.  as he reflects,  sitting in Inés’ car as she drives them back,  he is mainly disturbed by the fact that it felt like he had no control over his body in those moments of sheer jealousy.  
as they enter Inés’ apartment,  the second Jaewoo takes his boots off,  Inés pins his hips against the wall with her own as she stares him down intensely. 
“  why did you charge at Cyril like that  ?  ”  she wastes no time,  cutting to the chase immediately as she seeks answers from him.  her hands rest on his waist,  squeezing him in silent comfort and affirmation that he is in a safe space to respond with full candid honesty.  
mulling over how to vocalise what has been running through his mind all day,  Jaewoo takes in several deep breaths as he deliberates over what to say.  Inés allows him to take his time.  he knows that she knows that he needs a moment or two to think about how to word things,  especially on emotional topics.  as he chews on his thoughts,  she presses sweet open-mouthed wet kisses across his sweaty neck and hairline.  
“  I’m jealous,  ”  he admits,  first and simple. it feels shameful to admit,  his eyes don’t meet hers initially but he knows that she doesn’t like that.  so he glances back up at her again,  his cheeks blushing as they were during their earlier confrontation.  pouting slightly,  he huffs.  “  I’m jealous that he has known you for longer than I have.  it feels like you two have all this hidden history which he loves to remind me about and it drives me insane not knowing.  ”  tilting his neck for easier access for her,  he closes his eyes as he sighs forlornly.  “  I... also had no control over what I was doing.  I know it might sound weird... b-but I really don’t know what took over me.  I just saw his face and the jealousy took over....  it feels like something possessed me.  I hate him when he does that.  I hate that he can say that he knew you since high school.  I wish that was me.  I want to know exactly what you were like during those years.  ”
“  baby,  you are perfect for me.  you met me at the right time.  I would have been graduating by the time you would have started high school.  we met at the right time,  when you’ve grown up,  we both have our own apartments and the time for me to do whatever I want to do to you.  ”  Inés’ lips lift up in a smirk as she continues to press soft lingering kisses across his face,  multiple ones pressed on his closed eyelids.  her fingers to circle around his waistband,  dipping and hooking in as her other hand works to undo the laces.  “  and you should know that was adorable of you.  my big jealous baby.  I think you deserve a little reward.  ” 
eyes flitting in surprise,  Jaewoo’s heart begins to race to hear her words as he gazes at her longingly.  “  what really  ?  I didn’t step out of line or acted weirdly  ?  ”
“  of course not,  it was adorable of you.  ”  she undoes his pants in one motion after unlacing it all,  shoving his pants down to the floor alongside his boxers.  “  I think you should be show your jealousy openly to me more.  ” 
there is no shame with the way how Jaewoo’s cock is already fully erect,  his head now swirling and reeling with thoughts of what Inés just revealed to him right now.  it is a very bad positive reinforcement,  she shouldn’t be encouraging this behaviour of his.  but he doesn’t take it this way,  he is now solid in his belief that he definitely has nothing to be remorseful about.  not especially when it means he will get Inés on her knees,  lips parting to take the tip of his cock so she can hit the back of her throat with the size of his swollen dick.  
as his breathing becomes more laboured,  moans unfiltered and the back of his head hitting the wall,  the only thoughts flooding his mind now are maybe being jealous isn’t so much of a bad thing.  
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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addressed to: ahn jaewoo, inmate xxxxxx, seoul detention center
i don’t even need to tell you who this is from, do i? i’ll bet you were just itching to have a letter addressed to you, watching as each inmate gets correspondence, yet nothing for you. no one else contacts you; no one but me. i quite like it that way, severing you off from the world entirely, keeping you all by yourself in that tiny little box. it’s cozy, isn’t it? i had it made just for you. 
your plans are cute, dare i say even intriguing. you’ve always known how to catch my attention. but not even intrigue can stop the chain of events that are about to solidify.
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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to: Min Inhye ████ ██ ███ letter from █████ prison
Inés,
well done.  you must be so proud of yourself for this one,  huh ?  how does it feel to receive a letter from me,  knowing that you put me behind bars ?  you think you won this fight.  in some ways,  you have.  you flexed your limitless black cards,  your billionaire status,  the corruption of our system with the amount of officers in your pocket.  I recognise that you fucking roll around in a bed of infinite money.  I used to look at you in awe for your ambition and this still can make me look at you in awe.  this time,  I am also grossed out that you would go this low.  it shouldn’t come to no surprise to me considering what you are.  for some reason,  I still had some hope left in you that you wouldn’t do such a thing to me.
but I’ll happily return back the intensity darling.  just because you got me in solitary confinement doesn’t mean shit.  wanna guess how I acquired this pen and paper.  guess how I bribed a guard to deliver this to you on my behalf  ?  I have my ways.  you aren’t the only one with ambition.
yet you made a stupid move.  a petty move.  I’ll tell you why. 
but first,  thank you.  I have sunken in countless reflections.  you make me think a lot,  just as it has been like since the day I first met you.  but since you have put me behind prison bars,  I have had a lot of time to think.  sit.  reflect.  I thank you for that because it has brought me to a lot of realisations.  
number one,  I realise that all this amount of hate in my body towards you and Cyril means my ambition to be stupid and petty like you is on the same level as your demonic nature.  
number two,  this level of hate I have in my body right now means I can go above and beyond my capabilities right now.  but guess what  ?  you have taught me the art of patience.  I am controlling my inhibitions right now.  all it takes is one spark from me to fly and I’ll have the entire prison block fucking crumbling down from a whirlwind.  but I won’t do that.  
that leads me to number three,  I am going to wait this out on my own time.  I love persevering.  I haven’t forgotten how much you used to love wrestling with me,  attempting to pin me in place but only to be pushed right back down where I wanted you.  I’ll use that similar patience to wait out and fight you on this stupid war that you have started now,  with all my hate in my body to serve as my motivational asset.  
so you know what.  enjoy your days Min Inhye.  because those days will be up soon.  I won’t mention when but the day could come any time.  all thanks to the intense amount of hate that you have instilled in me,  I’ll break free from this pitiful attempt of imprisonment after humouring you for a good amount of time.  so go on with your life,  play with my children.  look into the eyes of our baby boys,  kiss their cute chubby round cheeks and remember what you did to their father.  and how their father is going to come back to them when the time right. 
did you notice earlier that I used Cyril’s name  ?  it is a testament to my patience,  the slow burn of my revenge that I will be reenacting at my own will and pace.  I’ll use the demon scum’s name.  the only fantasies that get me through these periods of boredom is how I am going to dig my fingers in his fucking wing scars and fucking tear through every single god damn bud he has in his back.  that will before I take a knife to tear the rest of his fucking body to shreds.  there will be nothing left for you to look at because I’ll make sure to burn every single piece of his rotten demon scum ash after watching him scream as I use the purest of my silver collection on his sluiced up body.  I’ll smash his face in against a broken mirror too and make sure to embed all those crushed shards deep in his cheeks before beating his face in till all his fucking white teeth drop out.  
I’ll use this time to patiently plot out my extensive revenge for him and you both in great detail with nobody to disturb me.  once I’m ready,  I’ll break free.  I’d partially be your good boy,  I’ll stay locked inside for a good amount of time.  I’ll just be breaking out on my own terms.  
and it’ll be a fucking piece of cake.  it’s cute that you tried putting me in the highest security level prison.  but you forget the man I used to be,  I still remember all my tactical and combat skills from my time spent alive.  I haven’t been able to utilise them much recently since my only goal was to murder any filthy piece of scum you touch.  it’s called fucking strategic prioritisation.  now after spending time in reflection and exercising self-restraint,  I will come back bigger and better than ever.  getting out of here will be a fucking breeze,  no matter how much money you put into this.  my renewed hate will override it all.  
this is the first and last time you’ll be able to have some kind of physical peace from me.  I’m coming for your dreams,  every single second for the rest of your goddamn freak immortality mortal life.  I will haunt you,  hunt you down no matter what corner of earth you try fleeing to.  pool all your fucking billionaire resources and finances to try to keep me out.  but then watch and remember how I burn through it all,  based purely on my hatred alone.  I am the force that you can never seem to get rid of,  we are as natural as orbits and gravity.  you can keep trying to propel away from me but I’ll always bring you back in my realm.  
you can never get rid of me,  this is set for life.  now you will face a new type of presence from me,  one that is more calculating in his approach to bid his time for the sweetest revenge.  as I reflected and reflected over what you have done to me,  I have no doubts about my path anymore.  I was destined to be with you no matter what the circumstances.  and that I will prove to you shortly.  
nothing can save you from me now.
Ahn Jaewoo
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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It’s here.
ever-watching,  ever-eternal,  It persists on disrupting the still tranquility of the night that begins to both seize fourteen year old Jaewoo with gripping cold sweating fear.  now the calm solitude of the night-time has been callously robbed from him too.  the moon bleeds the mourning of its former symbolic serenity it used to bring to the boy.  every time Jaewoo nervously squints at his faint grave-dug floating hope in the sky now,  what the moon used to represent to him,  it reflects back its crimson red death of a dream.  as he used to envision jumping around in eager overexcited gravity-defied leaps from crater to crater,  the same gaping dark holes now ooze with thick droplets of sun-shimmered blood.  why does it look like that to him now  ?
he’s petrified.
a book remains opened on his lap.  the boy was so used to his late routine of straining his eyes in the dark to soak up the details of his favourite cosmic phenomenons.  this is the rare time period where he is content with himself and the life he leads,  a boy caught up in the daydreamy details of the vast glittering universe up there.  how he can blissfully lull in the extravagant fantasies of the type of future he can lead whilst exploring his most favourite galactic observations.  all as he sits perched on the window sill of his bedroom with the moon demurely watching over his shoulder,  protecting his back.
that’s all vanished now.
from intensifying pure terror,  Jaewoo anxiously flits his gaze back to the moon  —  the reflective red of the dripping moon surface seems to be warning Jaewoo about It.  in gorgeously eerie scintillating fashion,  it whispers to him about It being in the dark.  It is somewhere in the house that is supposed to be empty.  his mother is out on another night shift and Taesoo is spending the night at the library to study extra hard on an upcoming school assignment.  of course It targeted him alone.  the predators of the night are all hyped up with their evolutionary features.  glowing vision fit for dark.  hypersensitive digits to sniff out living heat.  but the glorification can outweigh the fact that they stalk.  stalk until you are left vulnerable in delusional comfort that you are within the safety net of your household or underneath the warmth of your blankets.  
this night doesn’t feel right.
at this point,  the boy knows he can lapse into heightened states where he feels extremely anxious.  just as it is right now,  he can feel his heart pick up pace with scattered palpitations that jitter his hands with fluttery tension.  he is acutely aware that It is silently watching him from somewhere.  for some reason,  his heart feels like it is shattered into smothering pieces that crumble into dust within his chest.  he feels broken.  broken down by It that fuels him into an emergency panic of nearing schizophrenia.  the paranoia alights frenzied prickled goosebumps to scald across his body and Jaewoo refuses to have anything but the wall behind his back.  just to avoid It from reaching out to him. 
he wants to call out I know you’re there but his incendiary apprehension grabs a chokehold on him.  why alert It of your presence  ?  stay safe within the shadows,  where the moon can look over you.  
or maybe it is Taesoo back from the library early.  he can be blowing this completely out of proportion.  but how does he explain to his twin brother that he sees the moon dripping with blood in the night sky  ?  he will be scorned for seeing things that aren’t there.  
it is there though.  he throws a fleeting look over his shoulder again.  the moon grimly looks back at him,  drowning in its ruby bloodbath.  
you’re in danger.
clutching the fork that was situated by his side on the windowsill,  Jaewoo’s wildly beating heart rises to his mouth as he tentatively steps towards his bedroom door opening.  willing this to all be some nightmare,  one of the many that he tends to have,  he vainly attempts to control his increasing hyperventilating as he tiptoes beyond the bedroom territory.  
please don’t be there.  please don’t be there.  please don’t be there.
on his way through the stunted living room,  he catches a red-soaked flash of his father’s photograph portrait that commemorated his first day as captain of his division.  dazed by the surreal almost ghoulish aura casting from it,  the boy diverts to pick up the portrait from the shelf.  his father is right next to his face now.  the up close stern strict gaze of the army captain provides him with soothing layer of protection from the glowing supernatural forces that swathe his house with red.  
his father’s lips don’t move but he is seemingly back to life in a breeze.  but as always,  he remains motionless in the picture.  just always silently staring through Jaewoo.  his words always cut through like a sharp knife somehow always sluicing through thick transparent air.  
“  my son,  you’re the man of the house now.  act like it.  ”
Jaewoo desperately wishes he could  !  all he aspired was to be was this version of his father,  the young and upcoming captain in the military police.  the steadfast solid figure of the household.  a seemingly unshakeable force to reckon with.  but what he has left behind is a highly unstable son,  unable to distinguish between slipping reality and the dawning paranoia that rides upon his festering screaming delusions.  he’s got a fork in his hand for god’s sake.  
failure. 
his father’s portrait hollows in now,  the man’s eyes disappearing to gaunt bearing dark gaunt black holes with fresh scars ripening his cheeks with ghoulish wounds.  
with a low gasp,  Jaewoo hastily positions the portrait back where it belongs,  fending off any bad thoughts of his father as he struggles to forget what he just witnessed. 
“  w-who is there  ?  ”  the boy finally manages to speak,  his voice visibly wobbling as his eyes frantically scan his surroundings for any telltale sign.  
an inexplicable sense tells him that It is in the bathroom.  as much as his stomach lurches at the thought of confronting It,  the resigned dread to get the confrontation over and done with prompts Jaewoo to inch carefully towards the bathroom.  fork trembling in his clenched white-knuckled hands,  he gingerly grasps the door open,  chest heaving away in escalating frenzied panic.  before he even peeps through the gap,  he starts conjuring up all the grisly possibilities of what waits for him on the other side  —
—  a flash of his brother’s black fringe matted down to his forehead.  The Dark laughing at him with its pearly luminescent leer.  a crushed leftover of sparkly grape juice.  red streaks smattered across immaculate walls.  his mother’s listless gaze.  a creature of the night staring at him through its dozen eyes skittering across the stretched shadows.  a sensation of dense goo filling up his airtight lungs.  the cruel laughter of gossiping classmates.  his father engulfed with raging disappointment.  Taesoo’s hair.  eyes.  lips.  The Dark.  It.  blood.  hair.  no eyes.  no lips.  It.  —
—  Jaewoo catches himself staring at his own bathroom reflection.  alone.  untouched.  just him with a listless look of his own.  daubed in red.  
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐂𝐊   𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐂𝐊   .   .   .                                                                                                                                                    let   the   devil   in.
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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‘ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ’ 
there’s a light snort that echoes after his words, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she takes him in. resting her arm across his chest, she rests her head upon the crease of her elbow, simply letting her gaze rove over the gentle contours of his cheeks, the slope of his jaw, the delicate purse of his lips. he’s gorgeous, so beautiful, even god agrees so the way the sun swathes him in a pretty gold.
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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the dark crooks its lips at him,  a sly smile creeping through the murky filtered pitch black shroud of the night.  its eyes blazingly beam at him as it seemingly grins along with renewed brightened interest in the boy.  transfixed,  all he can do is continue laying down in paralysed trepidation with feverish apprehension.  the two remain locked in trances,  unmoving.  still.  no sign of life,  even from the living boy who doesn’t dare to heave his chest to breathe in sheer fear of exposing his human vulnerability to the nocturnal creature.  a single trickle of cold sweat rolls down his scalp,  matting his weathered pillow.  the dark continues to bare its teeth at him in knowing smugness,  a leer shimmering through the obscurity.  
don’t be afraid.
thirteen year old Jaewoo can’t tell how many hands it has,  if any at all.  whatever it is,  the dark inches up ever so gradually on him.  a slow thick enveloping of its embrace begins to perilously anchor him down on his already exceedingly heavy dead weight of his sleeping body.  is it at his feet now  ?  he cannot tell.  maybe he isn’t looking hard enough.  yet he has no incentive to swivel his eyes just the slightest to acknowledge how much of the dark is taking up on his legs.  all he can do is stare at its gleaming bright smile,  two front rows of pearly white teeth being a single beacon in the midst of the night.  it seems to have a head,  a curve is dimly emitted from the backdrop of some hazy cloudiness that has a few specks of rays to expose the thing.  that is probably the only humane-like thing he can discern about this thing.  it seems to laugh at his observations,  it grins even wider.
I’m here to protect you,  sweet boy.  you are in grave danger,  but you already know that.  
a scream in stuck in his scorchingly parched throat.  he cannot protest physically either,  his legs are iron-chained to the ground with the immense weight of something intangible.  every single one of his senses ring with red bell alarms hysterically shrieking at him.  get away get away get away.  
a faint gurgle sounds from his throat instead which immediately sends him into another row of panic.  it must have heard him.  he accepted its existence with that single syllable guttural noise.  there is no escaping from the dead weight monster creeping up on his knees.  it beckons for a moment,  apparently concerned by the boy’s lack of zest and pure willpower to fight.  
you can’t turn away from me.  I am a part of you.  we co-exist together.  I’m here to tell you that you have to keep looking forward and move on. 
those are unexpectedly comforting words from a creature so sinisterly dark that Jaewoo cannot tell where it begins nor ends.  a warm pour of flooding tears dampen his cheeks now as he remains powerlessly crippled on the floor.  experimentally,  he can twitch his fingers just about barely.  that is a bit of relief,  he still yields some sort of mental power over his own body.  at the back of his mind,  he questions it.  who are you.  why are you here.  
I’m here to protect you.  your mother failed to protect you.  I feel your loneliness stronger at night.  something is going to happen to you.
more deluges of intense distressed tears cascade down the boy’s cheeks,  unable to fathom what he is comprehending from the dark.  it licks cold as his thighs now,  a freezing cold breath from death ghosting over his covered stomach.  he is unable to breathe now.  he loses the capacity to take in oxygen,  to breathe in to breathe out to breathe in to breathe out—
fight me Jaewoo. 
no,  he cannot fight.  there is a fork hidden underneath his pillow but his senses crumble to the strength of his escalating anxiety.  it fuels through his system at agonisingly top speeds,  searing the sirens of panic throughout his system.  he can’t breathe.  he can’t breathe.  I can’t breathe. 
“  FIGHT ME  !  ”  it suddenly roars at him in full force now,  deafening him momentarily from the impact.  jumping out of his skin,  he jolts in pure shock as the darkness raises itself in its true heightened form.  it bellows at him again,  “  FIGHT ME.  ”
he can’t move.
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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b o o 
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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phantombs​
Don’t look at me like that! Oh? “Like what? You didn’t do anything wrong, Jaewoo. Obviously. Except look worse than usual,” he flatly clarifies. And look at at!: the smartmouth’s right. Their little ghost, a sliver worse for wear, has tumbled depressingly from his image of their bench-pressed gargantuan. Instead, he’s become delicate, a shivering moth to a fire! And hovelling to the candlelight, he can’t seem to warm. Uh oh. Cường blinks at him, his trembling dead boy… Turning around quietly, he pours them out a drink. “I know you can’t get sick, but that doesn’t mean I can’t. And there’s many ways I can get sick, understand? Like sick of your stubbornness. And sick of your lying.” ‘I’m fine,’ he’d glowed! Oh, “you dummy.” A lovely aroma hits the crackling air, something like peppercorn and April grapefruit before Cường is pulled rudely to his side. And unexpectedly! Fast. Yet, fortunate, he regains himself enough, and looking up at Jaewoo through the fringe of his hand-knitted blanket, Cường manages to not spill any tea in their laps. He frowns. He offers his teacup –pretty! – and waits. “You’re going to make me worse and send me straight to the hospital. Is that what you want? Here, I made this myself.”
like a gaping goldfish with a useless outpour of bubbles,  the ghost’s mouth open and closes as a smart answer fails him for once.  he was about to question how on earth Cường could ever succumb to the vice of the microscopic virus particles.  the image of a fever-stricken flushed Cường upturning sheets seems like an impossible farfetched vision.  he always seems so warm,  solid and sturdy like a wise old oak tree that stubbornly sticks it out through the relentless decades of weathering.  “  is my stubbornness that contagious  ?  does it transfer to you more potently when I do this  ?  ”  with an ever cheeky glint in his eyes,  teeth gleaning in the dim lights,  Jaewoo flamboyantly puffs out cold air in the other’s direction in swift succession.  “  I’m fine though,  really  !  are you sure that you are the one that is fine though  ?  you look like you could do with a hug or a few hundred.  ”  he is so used to prattling on with answers of being okay so he hesitantly mumbles out a subtle,  “  I have been feeling a bit under the weather.  nothing your tea can’t help with  !  what kind is this  ?  wait let me guess.  ”  unable to let go of the mischievous endeavours,  he pokes the tip of his tongue out.  “  a dash of a tired old man with a splash of ingrained fatherly duties.  is that why you like to tell me off right now  !  please,  drown me in tea if you can  !  ”
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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phantombs​
“Be useful, Jaewoo.” He’s trying…! Probably. Settled in the cozy heart of Cường’s living room – incense lit, the permeating waft of lavender in the air –  he seems to cling to Seoul’s late-winter windchill. The breeze, buffeting, smacks against the windows. And Jaewoo so icy looks to shiver like a bell. Tsk, tsk! Sat on the sofa, Cường throws him a tired stare. “Look at you,” he drawls. He looks up and down pointedly – yes! Pointedly! “You make my teeth chatter looking like that. Fix it. Come here. Stop that.”
@thecosmicsen
where is that gentle pouring of the most tender scoldings coming from  ?  Jaewoo is lulled in a drowsy state,  an encased unpoppable bubble of serenity.  he wonders if this is how Cường subtly draws in visitors for longer than expected visits.  this couch is too plush,  it allows his weary bones wrought with frigid tension to sink in.  a few sniffles from him don’t go amiss Cường’s freakishly werewolf heightened sense of hearing.  is that what his dear friend is tutting at him for  ?  it isn’t like he can digest vitamin c for health prosperity  !  Jaewoo glimpses upwards to the fed up male,  a sheepish grin flashing off his teeth.  “  no no no.  I am fine.  although maybe a blanket or a cup of tea would be a nice  ?  I don’t look that bad.  ”  he must be if he managed to urge a rap from Cường.  despite the sweltering layers of several cotton clothing,  he can admit to a slight chill.  “  don’t look at me like that  !  I didn’t do anything wrong  !  come sit here with me instead.  ”  without warning,  he yanks on Cường’s wrist to shove him to crumple besides him on the couch. 
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐄𝐌 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ?
The Orange by Wendy Cope. At lunchtime I bought a huge orange— The size of it made us all laugh. I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave— They got quarters and I had a half. And that orange, it made me so happy, As ordinary things often do Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park. This is peace and contentment. It’s new. The rest of the day was quite easy. I did all the jobs on my list And enjoyed them and had some time over. I love you. I’m glad I exist.
tagging: @shesin @kitsunas @bohemiiia @f8less @cvvalier @infernoath @nouvelis @phantombs @bellecosebabe @fcrgivemefather @devilscharity​
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thecosmicsen · 2 years
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he doesn’t need permission to dance ♡
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