For the first time I’m questioning wether you bring more unhappiness than happiness. And just the thought breaks my heart.
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I’ve waited for over two years to see you. Searched for you everywhere and in everyone. And then last Friday you were just there. Out of the blue. Right in front of me. I had this idea of how seeing you again would be. That my world would stop for a second and that everything would change again. But instead nothing happened. Everything was the same. And I’ve never wanted you more.
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“I think that somehow, I was getting closer to the truth and I knew it. I knew nothing would really happen between us. I knew that those types of things were only possible in a world I could only dream up. Because you’re the person of my dreams... I’m sorry that I fell in love. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I still find your soul absolutely enchanting, fascinating, and breathtakingly beautiful. But, you see, I can’t control some feelings - I can’t control the ones that are real.”
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I think I could spend a lifetime waiting for you, and I hate myself for that.
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There are moments when I’ve decided that it’s time for me to let you go. And then the moment passes and I’m holding on for dear life, never wanting to let go.
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Isn’t it weird how you can live your life being completely content, thinking you have your entire future perfectly planned out. And then suddenly one day you meet a person that turns it all upside down just with their existence. And it hits you that nothing will ever be the same ever again. You simply can’t go back to the way things were.
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I look at you and I see my whole entire future. I don’t ever wanna look away.
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It’s so strange that after all this time I still feel so connected to him. Sometimes it feels like he’s right next to me in bed, touching my shoulder and pulling me close. It feels so real I start to believe that when I turn around he’ll be right there smiling back at me.
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“Do you love him?” She asks like it’s the most natural question in the world.
“I don’t know.” I answer hesitantly. “I think I could love him if I ever got the chance.” I add, not hesitating this time. Because that is the truth. If I only got that the opportunity I would love him more than I’ve ever loved anything else. And I promise you, I would never let him go.
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How is it that someone can break your heart, and heal it all at the same time?
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I just want you to hold me. Is that too much to ask for?
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“Maybe I’m just hard to love.”
— and easy to leave
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The worst part is that I keep breaking my own heart, over and over again.
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Why is it that you are so hard to get over?
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Is it wrong of me to wish for the fairytale?
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