thedinbpd

[thedinbpd]

Hey everybody. So anyone who knows me knows that these past two years have not been easy. Since coming out, I’ve had to fight tooth and nail every step of my transition. Though I managed to get on hormones five months ago, insurance has made surgery extremely inaccessible. I’ce been through seven surgeons, set two surgical dates, and still haven’t gotten anywhere. Though it kills me to do it, I’m asking for your help. Anything you can donate helps more than you know. Thank you for all your continued love and support on my journey ❤️

[thedinbpd]

I've never lived my life in a "happy medium". My heart is either on fire or there's a black hole at my core. 🖤

#original post #happy medium #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #bpd stuff #bpd #actuallyborderline #actual bpd #actually borderline #actualbpd #actuallybpd #actual borderline #actualborderline #borderline thoughts #borderline personality disorder #borderline problems

[thedinbpd]

What a Shame.

What a shame! 

You will say 

Because I am no longer something to be used 

And thrown away 

It is a shame 

That I couldn't say it 

Because I know that to you I am a burden  

And so I went away  

All I could feel is shame 

Until the day that I couldn't make it 

Because all I heard is how my hurt affects you

And I went through with it anyway 

It truly is a shame! 

I say to myself  

Because I so badly wanted to push past this 

And some grief can never wash away

#poem #original post #shame #tw suicide #tw suicide attempt mention #bpd #bpd feels #bpd stuff #hopelessness #actuallyborderline #actual bpd #actually borderline #actualbpd #actuallybpd #actualborderline #actual borderline #borderline thoughts #borderline personality disorder #borderline problems

[thedinbpd]

A playlist for BPD 💙

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4yGXeEazLiNia6in2QBOg1?si=0kvpUvRDQoOxDWM5Y4BRxw

For my fellow people who have BPD, here is a playlist telling a story that breaks down the 9 criteria to have BPD. There are about 7 songs for each criteria and it goes in order of how it is listed in the DSM. I hope y'all find some self compassion in this like it does for me. 💙

#playlist #bpd playlist #spotify #dsm #bpd feels #bpd stuff #bpd diagnosis #bpd recovery #bpd tag #actual bpd #actually bpd #actuallyborderline #actually borderline #actualbpd #actuallybpd #actualborderline #borderline personality disorder #borderline personality problems #borderline personality traits

[thedinbpd]

I'm mindfully mindless; constantly aware of how far away I feel from the present.

#personal #original post #thoughts #bpd #dissociation #dissociative episode #mindfulness #actualbpd #actually borderline #actually bpd #actuallybpd #actuallyborderline #actualborderline #actual borderline #borderline thoughts #borderline problems #borderline personality disorder #borderline feels

[thedinbpd]

To all my fellow lovely folks that experience dissociation and/or have a tendency to not want to exist, I made a playlist for you. This is a narrative playlist that talks about how I entered a very dissociative state about a year ago and have been struggling since. It's pretty heavy, so listen at your own discretion. I hope that this playlist resonates with some y'all and makes you feel less alone. I also hope that maybe some people will understand me better after listening to it. 🌌

#original post #playlist #dissociation #bpd #bpd feels #bpd thoughts #bpd problems #bpd recovery #bpd stuff #actually borderline #actually bpd #actualbpd #actuallyborderline #actuallybpd #actual borderline #actualborderline #borderline personality disorder #spotify #resource #coping

[thedinbpd]

I make tons of playlists for hyper specific moods, and here is another one. I struggle with not feeling loved or feeling like I'm a backup plan in people's lives, which is usually just my brain being mean to me. Here is a playlist to help check the facts and reassure myself. I hope some of y'all can find use in it too. Also, feel free to check out my other playlists too. 💛

#check the facts #enough #worthy #playlist #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd problems #actually bpd #bpd feels #actuallybpd #actuallyborderline #actually borderline #actualbpd #actual bpd #actualborderline #actual borderline #borderline personality disorder #self worth #relationships #relationship anxiety #relationship trauma

[thedinbpd]

Happy Birthday To Me

Happy Birthday to Myself

To 21 I made it

Another year I never thought I’d live to

Another significant day that I never did foresee

New milestones tainted

By the shadow of an illness that clouds my ability to see  

A brighter future

Or even just a future  

Happy Birthday to a grown up

To 18 and an unenthusiastic adulthood  

Because politics were hell and I knew that my voice wasn’t heard

But my parents and I screamed at each other the day before

So I was not home  

And my lover tried to cheer me up

With a cupcake and a Halsey record

As I was sleep deprived and frizzy  

Happy Birthday to the child in me

To the sweet 16 that never was

Because I was too high to be present for my presents  

Sitting on my front doorstep

Awaiting his arrival so I could have it confirmed  

That my ex had cancer

Happy Birthday to me  

To all of the younger birthdays

That I chose not to remember fully

Because much of my childhood is tainted

By the shadow of an illness that clouds my ability to see

A brighter future

And keeps me living in a past that never celebrated my existence

#original poem #happy birthday #tw substance abuse mention #tw cancer #bpd #bpd diagnosis #bpd thoughts #bpd problems #actually bpd #actuallybpd #actual bpd #actualbpd #actuallyborderline #actually borderline #actual borderline #actualborderline #free verse poem #poetry #mental illness

[thedinbpd]

Yup, I know

I disappeared once again for awhile and have been inactive on this account. I'm sorry to those who sent asks or messaged me but haven't received a response. I haven't had the spoons to get back to y'all because I've had a really hard time battling my own demons. Things are still rough, but I'm home now so I will have more time to post and respond to things. Love you all and thank you for sticking around. 💜

-Lily

#original post #personal #disapearing #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd problems #bpd diagnosis #bpd feels #actually bpd #actuallybpd #actuallyborderline #actually borderline #actual bpd #actualbpd #actual borderline #actualborderline #borderline personality disorder

[thedinbpd]

The Basic Human Emotions Represented through Bill Wurtz Memes

Anger

Fear

Sadness

Guilt/Shame

Disgust

Joy

and last but not least...

Love

#bill wurtz memes #emotions #dbt #dbt skills #bpd #bpd problems #bpd feels #bpd thoughts #actually bpd #actuallybpd #actually borderline #actuallyborderline #actual borderline #actualborderline #borderline personality disorder #dialectical behavioral therapy #emotion regulation

[thedinbpd]

I love being on the verge of a panic attack for a long ass time, but never actually crying or having relief of any kind. Also on top of that, target behavior urges have been high as fuck. Pray for me.

#fuck this #personal #vent #bpd #bpd diagnosis #bpd problems #bpd feels #bpd thoughts #actually bpd #actualbpd #actuallybpd #actually borderline #actuallyborderline #actual borderline #actualborderline #actual bpd #borderline personality disorder #anxiety #target behavior urges

[thedinbpd]

This chart is for disaster individuals and disaster individuals alone, if you do your laundry in a timely manner and can easily talk to waiters don’t interact

#oh fuck all of this is just me #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #bpd problems #actually bpd #actuallybpd #actually borderline #actuallyborderline #actual borderline #actualborderline #borderline personality disorder

[thedinbpd]

You know, I'm an empathetic and caring person, even a people pleaser to a fault. But, I'm really sick of the fact that I will climb mountains for my friends, and they won't show up for me when I need them. There is no room for 2am nights, crying, profound emotions, or comfort for me. It has to be for them, and I am beginning to feel resentment for that.

#this sucks #vent post #people pleasing #empathy #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #bpd problems #actually bpd #actuallybpd #actually borderline #actuallyborderline #actual borderline #actualborderline #actual bpd #actualbpd #borderline personality disorder

[thedinbpd]

My friends: "Dont isolate and ghost us. You need to learn to ask for help. Tell us if you need anything."

Also my friends: "Uh, going to your room is too far (even though I go to theirs all of the time), this is too stressful, be an adult and deal with your feelings independently."

#fuck this #friends #isolation #mixed messages #asking for help #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #bpd problems #actualbpd #actuallybpd #actually borderline #actuallyborderline #actually bpd #actual bpd #actual borderline #actualborderline #borderline personality disorder

[thedinbpd]

Sometimes you just have to lay in bed for 3 hours in the middle of the day when going through a period of deep depression that makes you dissociative.

#when will it end #miserable #depression #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #bpd problems #actually bpd #actuallybpd #actual bpd #actualbpd #actually borderline #actuallyborderline #actual borderline #actualborderline #borderline personality disorder

[thedinbpd]

We love grieving friendships that haven't even ended.

#why am i like this #grief #friendships #relationships #loss #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #bpd problems #actually bpd #actuallybpd #actuallyborderline #actually borderline #actualbpd #actual bpd #actual borderline #actualborderline #borderline personality disorder

[thedinbpd]

i wanna talk about it but i really dont wanna talk about it

#mood #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #bpd problems #actually bpd #actualbpd #actuallybpd #actuallyborderline #actually borderline #actual borderline #borderline personality disorder