thedoctorofsound

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Cinderella rewrite where Cinderella’s father is an unusually successful fisherman due to his secret friendships with the shy and mysterious mermaids, successful enough to attract a moderately wealthy and ambitious bride with two daughters. Once he dies, her stepmother, determined to make sure her daughters inherit the fishing business as dowries by marrying before Cinderella, forbids her from going out on the fishing boats or into town and makes sure she spends as much of her time as possible doing drudgework, hauling offal and cleaning fish. When the Prince’s ball comes around, an important occasion for young women to make good connections, the stepmother forbids her from going, telling her that she needs to get the latest salmon catch gutted and ready for sale instead.

Cinderella’s mermaid godmother calls upon her people to clean the fish and gifts her a dress and shoes of shimmering fish scales that wreathe her in rainbows under the moonlight. She makes an impression on the Prince at the ball so strong that he immediately falls in love with her, and when she’s forced to flee before her stepmother notices her (no masquerade mask or dancing rainbows will disguise her from her own family at close range), the Prince is left with only a delicate fish leather slipper left on the front steps to try to find her again.

He goes around the houses, seeking the owner of the slipper, but Cinderella is once again working in the fish sheds. He stepmother, desperate and determined and having found Cinderella’s other shoe that very morning, realises what has happened and takes a knife to the feet of her prettiest daughter, telling the prince that she suffered an injury that very morning but those are definitely her shoes, see, here’s the other one, and they still fit.

The daughter is pretty and witty and charming, and while the Prince doesn’t feel the same spark and instant sense of connection that he did at the party, he reasons that she’s overwhelmed and in pain and once she’s healed, all will be well. There are no birds to whisper of blood in the shoe – the Prince has seen the bandaged feet already – and the daughter slips on the shoes (the only shoes she has that will fit her, now,) and accompanies him to the palace.

But the stepmother is no doctor, and by the time the Prince gets her to the palace doctors, it’s too late – his beloved has contracted an infection in her feet from the shoe leather, made unclean in its travels. She will survive – it is an infection of a common filth of fish and birds, one that the doctors have potions for for the occasions where dangerously cooked food causes outbreaks – but in her raving, she confesses the whole scheme to the Prince who, furious, returns to the village to find the girl he truly fell in love with, the girl hidden from him.

“Oh, yeah, the fish cleaner,” the villagers shrug. “We don’t see her around very much, she’s probably in the sheds. Her family calls her Salmonella.”

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This list includes doctors in the United States, Australia, Canada, and Europe!

Even if you're not the target demographic, please share for any of your friends who may be.

And if you or someone you know would like to be added to the list, there's a place for that!

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just go see an ob-gyn

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this plant is kudzu. aka 'the vine that ate the south'. a damaging invasive plant that’s a nuisance to the local area in this video. Now look at those moos go

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I laughed for 10 minutes straight.

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for the last fucking time stop policing the bodies and sexualities of real living breathing short women who like “cute” shit

it’s not pedophilia to be a short adult woman and wear hello kitty underwear. it’s not pedophilia to be a short adult woman who collects plushes. it’s not pedophilia to wear things or to collect things at all.

pedophilia is when an adult sexually preys upon a child, end of.

nothing a woman does with her own self will be “pedophilia” or “pedobait”. pedophiles do not pursue adult women who wear striped thigh highs. they prey upon children. 

pedophilia is not wrong because children look a certain way, it’s wrong because they are children and children cannot meaningfully consent. there is not a single child on the planet who can meaningfully consent to sexual activity with an adult.

blaming women who are short and like certain things is misogyny, plain and simple. and I see a lot of you fuckers going after Asian women in particular, which is also actually really fucking racist lmao

donating a toothbrush to a child’s shelter would be more helpful to combat child abuse than anything you keyboard warriors are doing

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Reblogging things I like feels a lot more goblinesque than upvoting ever did. The upvotes felt like "hmm yes, I approve *golf claps*" while reblogging feels like furtively staring at something before shoving it in your mouth and scurrying back underneath the nearest piece of furniture.

Which isn't to say that I don't like it. But I definitely find myself going "maybe I shouldn't reblog this because I've already reblogged a bunch of things today and I don't want to look like I don't have a life," I say as I close the app and reopen it like one of those little automatic box toys with the switches.

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i can’t believe tamsyn muir fucking said this. i can’t believe how right she is. i want to take her out for tacos and have an emotional affair with her that ruins me for all other dinner partners.

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stacys mom turned me into a frog!

im eating flies and live inside a log!

stacy cant you see she has placed a spell on me!

now im in a bog and look just like a small green frog

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I think that for every episode of bake off that has a foreign country as a theme there should be a special third judge that is just a grandma of that nationality and they should be equipped with an air horn they can toot in paul hollywood’s smug face whenever he confidently says something completely incorrect about a bake’s construction, flavour, texture, etc etc

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i look normal but believe me i talk to cats

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no bc FOR FUCKING REAL

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did you guys see the poem from a couple of days ago in poetry dot org’s daily poem it was so good and a treat to read 

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With the overturning of Roe v. Wade, I need to let people know how dangerous the healthcare privacy climate is now. As someone that works with PHI (protected health information) I want to stress that HIPAA (the law that prevents your health data from being shared) does not apply to healthcare apps. These are incredibly dangerous to use, not only because law enforcement can procure a subpoena to access this information, but because these apps can sell your health data to any third party—potentially anti-abortion activists. Anyone with a uterus should delete not only period trackers, but mental health apps, because if you have a miscarriage or seek an abortion in a state that outlaws it, your mental health history can be used against you.

I would also discourage people from using online therapy apps like BetterHelp and Talkspace. Though BetterHelp says they are HIPAA compliant, that is a lie. They have shared data with Facebook. Their most recent privacy policy update says “We may share your information in connection with an asset sale, merger, bankruptcy, or other business transaction.” Any data breach could put your information at risk. Any health app could suddenly decide to change their privacy policies without notice.

Most responsible clinicians put your health data under (many times literally) lock and key. PHI software like Epic or Cerner have numerous failsafes to prevent data leaks. This is not the case for apps. BetterHelp and healthcare apps in general do not care about this. They only care about money. Do not trust any app or healthcare provider that operates strictly online. And for your own sake, use a VPN if you’re searching for abortion providers or advice.