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therealreyvin · 3 years

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It always feels like it’ll last forever...

... until it’s over.

#life #reflections #original #break #sad #endings

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therealreyvin · 3 years

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i used to amuse myself with the idea of being high, romanticizing it like some distant ideal.

it was often the substance of my humor—the nature of which you can probably guess,

but as it turns out, there is nothing hilarious about being higher than everyone else.

it’s hard to breathe up there.

alone, you don’t really see the point.

you might see things no one else can, but it all goes by so fast.

everything slips from my grasp with more velocity than ever before—harder, faster—till i have nothing but the empty air around me.

i’m left to myself and my constant wondering why no matter how often i reach down to others, no one dares to lift a hand up to me.

i’m lonely.

will another soul ever climb the heights my own heart has scaled?

this peak is my asylum and i don’t feel free.

i don’t want to be high anymore.

i just want to be held.

—R

📸: Kless Gyzen

#life #original #reflections #solitude #cliff #prose #proem #art #love #heartache #loneliness #alone #sad #sad boi vibes #sad boi club #indie #grey

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therealreyvin · 3 years

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The tides in my heart are changing.

The moon must be shifting phases again for I feel my soul like gravity being pulled in directions I never thought I’d turn to.

The fluidity of human nature flows incessantly through my veins.

Humans are only constant in their changing and my own stripes change like the color of the sea.

I’m as shifting as the weather, and my heart as intense.

I follow the tornado’s path, entirely unpredictable, but destruction is not what’s left in my wake.

I reorder the chaos the storms leave behind.

I may bring rain, but it’s living water, and the life I lead gives way to growth.

It’s a glorious thing to be free from what’s expected.

Storms might have left cracks in the pavement of my heart, but oh, what wonder are the flowers growing through.

—R

📸: A Beautiful Mess, Ariel Levey

#life #original #reflections #change #personality #growth #courage #identity #ocean #waves #beautiful #pink #color #self reflection #self love #enneagram4 #enneagram type 4 #existential crisis

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therealreyvin · 3 years

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Heavy

my soul feels like running

when the blood pools in my hands,

when the anchor’s been thrown,

or the ship hits the land.

maybe my heart’s made of osmium,

or my brain is instead—

something to explain

why i don’t float like the rest.

they follow the currents,

from shore to shore,

like driftwood passing by me

as i stay a decade more.

ever-moving, never still—

they seldom stay for long

in contrast to my constant

wondering what i’m doing wrong.

but in the waiting i have learned

what’s wrong might not be me;

the difference is they lack the weight

that keeps my soul steady.

they float because they’re hollow,

but i am made of stone.

while every tide drags them behind,

i won’t go with the flow.

i will still be standing

when storms bring me their waves.

no tragic flaw within me;

my heavy is my strength.

—R

#poem #poetry #reflections #life #encouragement #steadfast #enneagram4 #enneagram type 4 #friendship #relationships #self love #confidence #strength #resilience #intj #intj problems #intj woman #original

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therealreyvin · 3 years

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Sometimes I can forget that I’m a captive to this tyrant sea.

The music cloaks the crashing waves that keep my body frozen.

It slips for a moment, then I am chilled by a reminder:

I‘m fighting the current while you just float above the ocean.

There are days that I can swim with my head above the water—

A gasp just long enough to see you wading close to the shore—

But on those dreadful days during which I fear drowning the most,

You keep both your knees dry while I’m left to capsize in the storm.

—R

📸: This Normal Life

#love #life #original #reflection #poetry #poem #poet #depth #toxicrelationship #empathy #one sided love #ocean #heartache

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therealreyvin · 3 years

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Reblog if it’s okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.

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therealreyvin · 3 years

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"You won't understand what I mean now, but someday you will: the only trick of friendship, I think, is to find people who are better than you are—not smarter, not cooler, but kinder, and more generous, and more forgiving—and then to appreciate them for what they can teach you, and to try to listen to them when they tell you something about yourself, no matter how bad—or good—it might be, and to trust them, which is the hardest thing of all. But the best, as well."

ad astra per aspara : a dark academia playlist with classical music

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therealreyvin · 3 years

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therealreyvin · 3 years

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We all need God so desperately, but we always choose the hard way to learn it.

Love, and remind others how to.

I could be angry and vehement and violent and cruel. It’s my right to be hateful. I can be all of these things and tell them to go to hell, but honestly? That’s where my hate comes from too.

Don’t let the devil stay for tea.

Don’t entertain the same thoughts that are driving others mad.

Be the one to bring peace and comfort. Choose to be living water while the rest of the world burns.

Jesus didn’t say “you won’t have trouble.” He said we would. He said we’d be hated. This world is going to fall apart, but God’s not going anywhere. This earth—this country, this nation, this planet—is not our home. Heaven is, and God will bring us there, even if we’re bloodied and broken on arrival.

#original #thoughts #reflections #rain #politics #nation #Christian #encouragement #life #god #love #conviction

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therealreyvin · 3 years

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Written by the Window on a Rainy Day

It’s 2:55pm and I’m getting the kettle ready for tea.

Outside the kitchen window, I can see it’s raining; I know you like it that way—when the sky lets go in ways you wish you could.

I think we both hold on sometimes… maybe it’s just human, but regardless, it gets heavy. Weather like this makes heavy feel okay. It makes grey a wondrous and comforting color when another context degrades it into something hard to handle:

a d i a p h o r a

Gray areas.

It is overwhelming—to think of all the things we can’t define and can’t control, all the questions we have no answers for, all the places where we try to find middle ground but can’t no matter how much our souls long for balance.

It all feels so elusive, doesn’t it?

Even now, I’m wondering how on earth I can be good in a world striving for the balance between fear and carelessness.

Where does faith fall on the spectrum? Where does love?

How can I show both?

I’m not sure there’s an answer to these questions.. at least not an easy one.

It’s a gray area.

Adiaphora

But we try to make it something bigger than that.

We call people out, say there’s a right way and a wrong way—we say that about a lot of things, but the truth is: humans are not objects and we can’t put them into boxes.

We just can’t.

You can’t grow in boxes, can’t learn, can’t change.

Change isn’t always a bad thing.

In fact, it’s usually a good thing because change takes us where we need to go.

Why are we always trying to hold on?

We’re so afraid of letting go—thinking everyone and everything is leaving us because we can’t see that we’re moving too.

We’re like ships on the ocean

passing islands and boats and

lamenting that they never stay,

but we keep on sailing anyway

because that’s what ships do;

that’s what humans do too.

Metaphors like these have given me such a deep love for the ocean—a love to see it, to hear it, to be near it, to write about it over and over again, but I still don’t want to swim in it. Why? Because I’m afraid of what’s underneath.

I’m terrified of all the things that the ocean’s depth hides.

I think we treat people the same way—some dive in, some don’t—but the worst part is when we start to believe that we’re the only ones with anything to hide.

We’re so silly, the way we make islands of ourselves.

It’s tragic, really.

We demonize and islandize til our souls feel marooned, but it’s so unnecessary. We’re not the only oceans with something to hide—every single one of us holds both monsters and gems within our depths.

It’s a scary thought, but it’s also a comforting one.

Sort of like gray areas.

Sort of like rain.

I think we hold onto a lot of needless fear sometimes. The rain reminds me to let go; it also reminds me of you.

I guess I have a lot of reasons to love grey skies.

#original #reflections #life #encouragement #hope #adiaphora #thoughts #rain #prose #pluviophile #grey #poetry #faith

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therealreyvin · 3 years

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