theres-such-a-fine-line

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

i forgot how badly my mood/mental health plummets in Scorpio season. Can i just hide under my blanket for the rest of the month?

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

see, i have a type. i know my type. between the dark tortured vampire, the snarky queen and the exhausted nice guy; guess who I expected to simp for? Guess who i ended up simping for? I never go for nice guys like wth?

are you even playing curse of strahd if you don’t simp for ismark, strahd or ezmerelda?

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

i know i always make my dead ringers elliot + beverly -> repo pavi + luigi parallels but yall aint ready for the succession kendall + roman roy ones.

also the "dog pound"....?

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

I was diagnosed with ADHD yesterday. I means its always been there at the back of my mind but it was never a top priority or anything. (i’ve mentally diagnosed myself with a million different things but they never seemed right so i always thought I was just those idiots who self-diagnosed themselves with everything under the sun). I always figured it was just depression that never went away even if there was no reason my mood would be bad. I never really had the hyperactive part of ADHD so nah can’t be me. Until I realized how much I fidgeted. See I thought everyone fidgeted. It was just something that was trained out of them as kids but i never got the memo. Skin picking, self stimming. It wasn’t until I watched tiktok and realized these were signs; and actually people watched that I realized people didn’t touch themselves as much as I did. (ok sounds wrong i know). And it became more and more towards yes. And then certain videos began blaming everything under adhd and I pulled away and like maybe I’m overreading into this. And I’ve been meaning to see a psychiatrist for years. I just never got around to making an appointment because well tired, forgot, lazy (yes ADHD stuff, obviously now but when you’ve grown up your whole life being told you’re lazy, well yea...) And so I forced myself to go. i told myself I’ll try the meds for a week. If it works great, if it doesn’t, it’s me trying a attribute my laziness to something else.  1 day. I’ve only tried the meds for 1 day. My bed houses my piles of clean clothing. Never placed it into my cupboard once. Never had the energy to. Maybe I’d force myself to do it and feel just exhausted after. i moved the piles of clothing without thinking. I cleared my room. I finally answered the piles of messages I let build up. I just broke down sobbing. Well laughing. Well something like a mix between the two. 

Part of me felt like I’ve wasted 30 years. how much better would I have been if I had gotten diagnosed and treated earlier. How much further in my career would I be now? but for the first time in a long time, i feel like I have a future. that i’m not just stuck here in a rut, waiting to die. Is this what normal people feel like? Is this why people roll their eyes when i keep saying how tired I am? I’m exhausted 24/7 no matter how much I sleep and now, now I feel I can do anything. 

#adhd #mental health #meds are expensive but I'm never going back

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

i love these two characters. i need to trap them in a collapsed building so they can talk about their feelings as one of them slowly bleeds out.

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

Take this. Or don’t.

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

luigi largo stimboard >:D  x | x | x x | x | x x | x | x

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

It’s fucked up that my mental health is so fucking stigmatized in my country that I just can’t say I’m having a bad mental health day (or week in this case) without being the latest workplace gossip. 

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

The feeling when you desperately want to write fanfiction but can't decide what about 🥴

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

mental illness made me so desperate for joy that i forgot it was this simple… feeling the ocean against your skin… a really good guitar riff… sun on your back… holding the door for a stranger… a cold shower on a hot day…….. the world is like a cradle and i am just a little baby. eyes wide open there is so much to see

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

I am a writing genius who totally planned this

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

Largo 👏 family 👏 Headcanons👏

This picture is the most accurate depiction of sibling relationships I have ever seen in the media^

- The Largos are originally from Italy, they moved to Sanitarium around the time GeneCo was established (2030?)

- All of them are fluent in Italian, even though Amber wasn’t born there

- Amber sometimes insults Graves in Italian to piss him off, so far all he knows how to say is “fuck you”

- Luigi needed to have a brain surgery in his childhood which resulted in his emotional regulation difficulties and impulsivity

- Pavi’s face got horrendously burned in an accident when he was young. Either Luigi had something to do with it or it was honestly just an accident, as he was being neglected and no one was keeping track of him

- This sent him into a really bad depressive episode for a year where he didn’t leave GeneCo HQ, when Pavi started wearing masks the fam was so relieved he was going out again that they didn’t question it until he started wearing others’ faces

- ALL three kids were pretty much left alone bc Rotti killed their mothers (pretty sure this is canon although I can’t remember where I read it?) and he was also so wrapped up in work he never had time for them

- Luigi and Pavi are closer to each other than Amber bc of the giant age gap between Amber and Pavi, and they would gang up on her all the time

- Rotti met Amber’s mother while living in Sanitarium and she was very fiery/headstrong, similar to Amber, and she wouldn’t take any of Rotti’s shit (taught Amber to do the same and not take any shit from her brothers)

- She’s buried in THE graveyard from the movie and Amber used to visit her mother’s grave as a kid/teenager sometimes

- After Rotti’s death the siblings all realize how badly he fucked them up and they start to slowly become better people (again, a process, but progress is made)

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

i am generally Very Bad™ at responding to comments on ao3, and it is not at all because i don’t appreciate or cherish or adore them, it is quite simply because, as was pointed out to me earlier today, i Do Not Know how to handle people being nice to me. it breaks my brain just a little bit. 

1 nice comment = 5 minutes of mentally stunned author. 

[theres-such-a-fine-line]

I get my media recommendations the old fashioned way: by watching someone I follow on here go on an unhinged reblog spree of media related content until I eventually decide to go "alright, what's all this then"