therhoyalpalm

[therhoyalpalm]

Happy Monday Good People! Monday’s can set the tone for your week, therefore make it great! Check out my newest blog post on tumbler “Take Control of Your Time”. Follow the link to read: https://therhoyalpalm.tumblr.com/ #shewrites #blogger #blackbloggers #womensupportingwomen #blackgirlmagic #blackwomenbloggers #Tips (at Denver, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CKdyn9wBxhE/?igshid=1rkzaavy7bv19

#shewrites #blogger #blackbloggers #womensupportingwomen #blackgirlmagic #blackwomenbloggers #tips

[therhoyalpalm]

Take Control of Your Time

After a three week vacation, and returning to the office in the midst of a “crisis” my schedule has been all off whack. I have definitely been avoiding doing anything, instead of doing something. Over the weekend, I have been up all night, sleeping until the afternoon and allowing my day to get away from me.

A change needs to happen. There is no day like the present, so I’m going to use what I got to get back on track.

I have never been big on using a planner, even though I buy one every year. However, it’s time for a change. I’m using what I got. If you have a daily planner, thats a great tool. If you don’t you have a phone, email, and even your tv can help create a routine to help you capitalize on your day. Check below for some tips, to help take control of your time.

Tips for Creating a Routine

1. Make a list of all the things you need to do daily or monthly

2. Be detailed in your routine, allocate enough time to each task

3. Have a set end time to take a break and move on to your next task

4. Refer back to your daily list throughout the day, checking things off the list can create a since of accomplishments

5. Make your routine and to-do list enjoyable

6. Try it out and change it up if you need to

How to Use Your Phone, Email, TV to Create a Routine

1. Use your calendar and make sure you add an alert (phone and email)

2. Use the Reminder App (already on IPhones) it allows you to schedule and set alerts

3. Download apps to support staying on track such as: Productive Habit Tracker, Habitshare, and Done to name a few

4. Schedule a timer on your tv to automatically turn on and off in order to aid in productivity

5. Use apps like YouTube/Spotify/Apple Music on your phone or tv to play white noise or music to help you be productive in the background

Like with anything it will take time to create a routine that works, be patient and give yourself grace as you take control of your time.

Share your tools and tips for an effective routine!

Love and light!

Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and follow The_Rhoyal_Palm on IG

#blackbloggers #blackgirlmagic #blackgirlsrock #wowmensupportingwomen #shewrites #blackwomenwriters #timeisaluxury #transparency #something to think about #blackwomenbloggers #productive

[therhoyalpalm]

My newest purchase from @blackgirlflourish ! New Blog post coming soon! The Power of Affirmations! A great way to kick the new year off right! #blackbloggers #womensupportingwomen #blackwomenbloggers #shewrites #blackgirlmagic #affirmations #positiveaffirmations #dailyaffirmations #tubler https://www.instagram.com/p/CJ4HANfAMC6/?igshid=1dpqgferdtbar

#blackbloggers #womensupportingwomen #blackwomenbloggers #shewrites #blackgirlmagic #affirmations #positiveaffirmations #dailyaffirmations #tubler

[therhoyalpalm]

I am... The Power of Words!

First month of 2018 is almost a wrap!!!! As, we are getting ready to head into February remember there is power in words, speak life over yourself, your circumstances, and whatever you are going through. When you speak, speak positivity, growth, and create the life you want.

“I AM” are two of the most powerful words you can speak and what comes after them you bring to life whether they are good, bad, positive, or negative. So, I encourage you to speak positivity and growth over your life! Stand in the mirror, look yourself deep in the eyes, and proclaim whatever it is that you want. Speak it until you believe it, then speak until you see it!

So, as January comes to an end, and the new year, new me is slowly turning back into, this is who I am. Let the “I am” bring good vibes, energy, and positivity into your life.

Share your thoughts! Don’t forget to Like! Subscribe! Comment! Follow! Peaces and Blessings!

Do you ever find yourself throwing a pity party? Speaking negatively? How do you get out of that space? What words/activities/songs help you get back to your happy place? Got any mantras that you use?

#blackgirlmagic #blackwomenwriters #blackbloggers #blackgirlsrock #scarlettolivia #shewrites #wordshavepower #speakpositive #iam

[therhoyalpalm]

#LevelUp

Hey Singles!

Social media almost always turns nothing into something. Singer/dancer Ciara reposted a video meme that read “too many women want to be married but you’re walking in the spirit of a ‘girlfriend’”

https://instagram.com/p/BeLQ2QWnAMS/

The meme included commentary from a pastor explaining to women that your character makes you a wife. You should be characteristically living as a wife, if you aspire to be a wife to which Ciara captioned “#LevelUp.” Shade or naw? I’m going to go with the latter.

I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Here’s where some of you can respectfully agree to disagree with me. As black women we can sometimes stand in our own way when it comes to love. Any advice given to us is questioned and our noses can get turned up. Be mindful, that every bit of advice comes from previous experiences. You can either take the advice or not. It’s that simple. Some women were angry with Ciara calling her a hypocrite, a baby momma, and being internet trolls.

Ciara being the classy woman that she is offered another form of perspective in a finer clapback.

https://instagram.com/p/BeOemWmH__y/

I couldn’t agree more with Ciara here. I too used to struggle with being single and a mom. I would force relationships that I knew were not good for me. It wasn’t until after my last relationship that I not only realized but came to terms that I was looking for love in the wrong places. I was being loved all along by the most powerful love their is, God. God is love and the most powerful of all his commandments is love.

Brunch With Besties Podcast Ep. 24 ‘Inconvenient Love’

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/brunch-with-besties-podcast/id1273612730?mt=2&i=1000399830271

When you’re not obeying the Lord he will allow you to go through some things so that you can come to him on bended knee. Then and only then can He will give you everything promised to you. Yes Ciara had to go through her heartache publicly. She remained faithful and trusted the Lord and love found her again. Read that again, love found her she didn’t go looking for love. But in order for love to find you Singles you have to love yourself. Level Up!

Peace

[therhoyalpalm]

Number 33 Harmony! How do you handle conflict?!?

Harmony - People who are especially talented in the Harmony theme look for consensus. They don’t enjoy conflict; rather, they seek areas of agreement.

Have you ever taken the StrengthsFinder assessment? You get your top 5 strengths out of the 34 options. It’s based around the idea that we all have strengths, learning about your dominate strengths, and then using them to the best of your ability!

I had the opportunity recently to see all 34 of my strengths in order, and second to last was HARMONY! All of my bottom 5 had me like, just throw the whole person away and start over 😂😂😂

During my one-on-one session with a strengths coach we spent a lot of time talking about Harmony! When, I tell you I was shocked that Harmony was so low I mean I was BIG shocked, y’all!! I feel like if you ask those closes to me, they would be shocked as well!

Then the strengths coach hit me with something,that I had already known to be true and say it often from a conflict stand point, but not a sense of Harmony!

She said when it comes to work and friends, I tend to go with the flow don’t get overly invested in the small things, my family can ruffle my feathers, but it’s usually not that deep. All Facts! Then she said, your partner/boyfriend/husband will it get it the worst, you will be quick to go toe to toe, and everything they do that you don’t like you will be ready to go straight for the fight! Once again true!

I truly don’t mind conflict, because I believe it helps to resolve the issues and not let them fester. Please be mindful that this doesn’t mean I enjoy conflict, I just don’t shy away from it. However, what this has taught me, is that it’s nothing wrong with wanting to address issues that bother me its the HOW, WHEN, and if it’s NECESSARY! Every battle doesn’t need to be fought, choose your battles wisely!

To say the least, I am still shocked that harmony was so low on my list of strengths , but when you know better you do better. The hope is moving forward to implement tools to help me pause and process before jumping right in to address my grievances, especially when it comes to the one I want to build a future with! I want to speak the truth in love, but that requires actions that align. Looking back on things with a different lens I have definitely seen this work against me, and feel like it is something I am already working on, but this was truly a reminder for me of how deep this runs!

Have you ever thought about how you address conflict? Do you jump right in? Let it roll off your back? Avoided it at all cost? Let it fester and blow up later?

Just in case you’re curious, my top five strengths are below and my last five! Don’t forget to Share! Like! Comment! Follow! Peaces and Blessings 😘

Strengths: 1. Connectedness 2. Restorative 3. Futuristic 4. Strategic 5. Deliberative

Weakness: 30. Responsibility 31. Context 32. Learner 33. Harmony 34. Discipline

#blackwomenwriters #blackbloggers #blackgirlmagic #scarlettolivia #shewrites #strengths #vulnerability #learning #harmony

[therhoyalpalm]

Are You Using Your Gift?!?

2018 is underway, but there is still plenty of time to prepare for the life you want in 2018 and beyond. I don’t know about you, but all over my Facebook and Instagram, people are trying to help you turn $50 into $400. I don’t know anything about that, but get it how you live, but what I do know is that for many people increase in income is on the list for 2018.

Some of us are living our dreams, making an impact, and some of us are doing what we have to do to get a check in order to pay bills, and keep our head above water, others of us may be rolling in the dough and just existing in life and not thriving, and some love their career and the money is pretty good too, but how many of us are using our gifts in a way that is meaningful, impactful, and beneficial to us and society.

We all have gifts! Maybe you don’t recognize it as a gift, because its not the usual thing that comes to mind like being athletic, being an artist, hair stylist, gifted speaker, good with numbers, but for each of us there is something inside of us that we are meant to share with the world, in order to make an impact and be a blessings to others. Taping into our gifts helps us to fulfill our purpose, when we are fulfilling are purpose we are living at our full potential.

As you are thinking about increase in finances, change in career, or just getting that “bag”, I also encourage you to think about: What are your gifts? How can you use that gift to make money? Who would benefit from that gift? How do you gain access to those who would benefit from your gift?

If you are already using your gift, how can you increase your impact? Expand your reach? Increase the financial benefit?

You have a gift! You are gifted! Make sure you are using it!

Peace and blessings! Don’t forget to Like!Follow!Comment!

#shewrites #blackwomenwriters #blackbloggers #purpose #useyourgifts #WeAllHaveGifts #ScarlettOlivia #blackgirlsrock #blackgirlmagic

[therhoyalpalm]

Do you even journal? 🤷🏾‍♀️ Goal: Daily Journaling!

I must admit, journaling is one of those things in my life that are inconsistent and only happens when I am at a lost for words, don’t know what to do, and just need to get my thoughts out! I found my most recent journal and my last entry was August 2014 ( yeah, inconsistent to say the least). In 2018 I am hoping journaling will be more then just a place of randomly venting, but a place of self-care, tracking my growth, ideas, happy moments, learning how to better handle situations, and a map for this road of continued self-discovery!

Why I’m Journaling in 2018

1. It helps you process! How do you really feel, better perspective of our own point of view, and the ability to get it all out there!

2. You could see a pattern! Do you have Timehop? As I often go through my Timehop, I am able to see that I often have similar types of screenshots on the same day even years apart, re-reading your journal can help you see similar life patterns!

3. It helps you see your growth or lack there of! Are you changing, growing, or repeating the same behavior!

4. You get to see what’s important to you! In my 2017 Life Lessons post, I talked about what consumes your mind, consumes your life! I think what you focus on in your journal is what is important to you!

5. Real time record! Often times we want to think back about what happened, what made something great, or figure out where things went wrong, going back to look at your journal can help you reflect on what happened in that moment.

The goal is to journal, but it really is just a tool for self-care! 2018 is about me continuing to grow, live, and create the life I want! 2018 is the year of creating!

Do you journal? Are you consistent? Let me know! Peace and blessings!

#shewrites #blackwomenwriters #blackgirlsrock #blackbloggers #journal #journaling #2018goals #consistency #vulnerability #2018IsTheYearOfCreating

[therhoyalpalm]

This right here is everything! True vulnerability, transparency, and honesty! #LetThemKnow

Should Old Aquaintance Be Forgotten

Hey Singles!

The holiday season brings about the feels and “hey big head” texts disguised as “happy holiday” texts. Don’t be fooled ladies. Use your discernment to figure out the real from the fake.

I won’t air anyone out, but I’ve gotten my share of texts/DM’s that would get a pass from the old Chanel. The “when are you coming over?” The “I want to give you something” messages. To be quite honest, I’ve fallen short with replying when I know I shouldn’t. Listen, change doesn’t happen overnight.

However, being single in 2017 was all about learning my worth. If you’re contacting me to have sex with me, then I respectfully decline. I’ve given so much of myself to certain men who didn’t deserve me at all. Yes I’m a woman. And yes women have needs too. But those needs will never outweigh, the need to be the woman God is trying to mold me into.

Some of you men are so bold, and I can clearly see why. You test to see what a woman will allow and you act accordingly. I was once answering all the “come over” texts. I felt like I had to. I didn’t understand my worth. Sex is a dime a dozen, it’s literally everywhere, but hearts-real hearts are rare. I want the heart, mind, spirit. And the sex will come, and it’ll be better than anything I’ve ever experienced before because it’ll be aligned with what God foresees for me and my husband.

Yes, I’m trying to be someone’s wife in the future. So all y’all dudes that continue to text/dm me on some let’s have sex stuff please give up. It shows me that you clearly have no respect for me. I see it right in my face. And it’s cool, because it’s more difficult to unlearn something. Many of you have to unlearn me. Let me help you, I don’t want to have sex with you. The end.

Oh ps, if you’re reading this and you feel some type of way my job is done. Or if you’re upset with my decision to have respect for myself, then you’ve never respected me from jump.

Happy New Year Eve

Peace

[therhoyalpalm]

2017 What a Year!...Growth, Change, Self-Discovery!

2017 is wrapping up and I’m sad to see it go! 2017 was a year of living my best life and dealing with death, traveling/spending time with family and friends and dealing with isolations, taking care of myself mentally, physically, emotionally, and feeling completely confused, learning to say when things, people, and places aren’t giving me what I need and feeling like someone was juggling with my heart, career, and livelihood.

 2017 was a year of accepting myself, accepting change, and taking steps to be vulnerable. Even with the downs of 2017 it was amazing! It thought me about life, career, love, and most importantly myself! These are the lessons that I’m taking into 2018 and beyond!

 2017 Life Lessons

1. The mind is powerful! What consumes your mind consumes your life!

2. Recognize your own dopeness! If others can’t see it, keep it moving! It doesn’t need to be approved or validated by anyone!

3. Prayer is powerful! Prayer changes things. Learn to hear God in your life and how he is speaking to you.

4. Choose you and choose you again! Women are often taught to be selfless, to care about others more than themselves, make extreme sacrifices for those they love, but its okay to choose you and always choose you. That doesn’t mean you don’t care about others or love others less.

5. Consistency is important! Its way more valuable to me then I ever thought! #LackOfConsistencyIsAGameChanger

6. Bring all of you to wherever you are! You don’t have to explain your life and choices to anyone! #ISaidWhatISaid

7. Do not fear! Fear is created! Live UNAFRAID and UNAPOLOGETICALLY. What would you do if you weren’t afraid to accept yourself, love yourself, or be rejected?

8. Ask the question, if you can handle the answer! If there is something you want to know,ASK! Don’t stress over if the person will get mad or be irritated, just focus on what you need, if you don’t ask you won’t get the answer.

8. Regret Vs. Remorse! Regret charges present you with something the past you did and remorse says if I knew what I knew now, I would have done things differently. #LiveWithNoRegrets

9. An attitude of Gratitude is powerful! Being grateful in every moment will change your life.

10. LOVE is a choice and work! #LoveIsANounAndAVerb

11. The possibilities are endless! We set the limits we have on our life! “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.” – Paulo Coelho

Share your 2017 life lessons! What are you taking into 2018? What’s staying in 2017? Peace and Blessings!

#2017Reflection Growth Change Consistency SheWrites BlackWriters BlackBloggers BlackFemaleWrites ScarlettOlivia Life Love Vulnerable Vulnerab

[therhoyalpalm]

@singlesinthecity is dropping gems for the fellas!

How Well Do You Know the Female Body?

Hey Singles!

More often than not I use this platform to vent. Ironically my blogs resonate with other women and men who have or has had similar experiences.

Now I wasn’t going to write this blog because it’s a little personal, and I’m not looking for my hotline to bling. However, I have to get this off my chest-literally.

So everyone who experiences a monthly visit from our unwelcomed Aunt Flo knows that during those “off” days we are turned on the most. It’s completely normal and I’m sure it has something to do with the hormone imbalance during the menstruation. So Aunt Flo comes and goes and I thought I’d be back to normal, but I’m not normal. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been this aroused for no apparent reason-ever!

Odd, however this lead me to think do men understand the female body? Because sharing is caring I’m going to give you 5 helpful hints fellas. Now every woman is different so use your discretion.

5. Slow down- Don’t be in a rush with women. Or better yet, learn her pace. Follow her. Be in tune with what she needs. I know you’ve heard the story of The Tortoise and the Hare!

4. Suck NEVER chew- this gem comes from the classic movie The Wood, but still holds true when it comes to women. There is nothing worse than getting gnawed on. Sir we are not teething rings!

3. 4 play isn’t optional- most women need a little help being turned on, insert 4 play! Unlike men we just can’t go. So fellas reach in your bag of tricks to help us help you!

2. For the xrated pierced ladies- be gentle. This can go hand in hand with #4. Don’t bite the hardware. Maneuver that mouth around it.

1. Follow the map- this one may seem silly but it may be helpful for some men to take a look at a female anatomy picture. Get familiar with those reproductive organs. Maps lead the way! Don’t get lost following your pride!

Ok I’m going to take a cold shower. Trying not to call any old baes. I’m doing this cold turkey! Pray for me!!

Peace

[therhoyalpalm]

My 2017 as a Playlist!

1. Holy Spirit by Kari Jobe - One time someone told me the holy spirit is ushered in on the wings of a song, and for me Holy Spirit by Kari Jobe, does just that, this song gets me to a place of peace, worship, and connected to the presences of God. Some of my realest most pure conversations have come after listening to this song; it’s my get back on track to peace and gratitude song.

2.    Hallelujah (Sing Soundtrack) song by Tori Kelly – The song is a classic and Tori Kelly has an amazing voice, but this song and this version made my soundtrack, because of Meena the shy elephant from the film Sing. Meena’s journay and transformation was real and reminded me that we all have a gift we shouldn’t be afraid to share. If you haven’t checked out the film yet, it’s on Netflix! It’s a good watch!

3.    I’m So Into You by Peabo Bryson – So, this was probably the song I listened to the most in 2017 like multiple times a day for the majority of the year. Literally always played it twice in a row every time. Between his voice and the words it made my heart melt, made me excited about love, and the work that comes along with it.

4.    You and I song by Michael from Good Times – If you are not familiar with the show Good times, Michael was the younger brother of JJ and Thelma, when Thelma got married to her soon to be NFL boo, Michael song this as everyone walked down the aisle, while this is a Stevie Wonder Cover (original on the playlist) it’s something about watching the clip on YouTube or the episode that makes me cry every time, I mean every time. An example of love, dedication, the lyrics are raw and honest and doesn’t paint love as a forever thing, but as work and partnership with God at the center. I Love it, check out the original on the playlist, but you must check the YouTube clip search Michael sings you and I on Good times or Thelma’s wedding Good Times.

5. Angel (Live) song by Lalah Hathaway – This song was probably the 2nd most listen to song on the list, and didn’t get added until September. First off ,her voice is amazing, and she did Ms. Anita Baker proud I am sure. I love this version of the song, it resonates with my soul. The lyrics are everything, like potential wedding vows!!! Checkout both versions, and let me know in the comments which one you prefer.

6. Blessed by Daniel Caesar – I first came across this song during the finale episode (I think) of insecure. Transparency, Vulnerability, and accepting my wrongs were all big themes for me in 2017, and for me this song reflects that “I’m a mess, but I’m blessed to be stuck with you” even with all my crazy, its really not that much you would be blessed to me stuck with me, the idea of relationships get unhealthy, how we prey on our partners insecuraties, not saying this song is goals, but its real and hits home for me.

7.  Cranes in the Sky by Solange – This is literally my life as a song from 2013 until my 30th birthday this song reflects that from running up my credit cards, to doing the most, to thinking a new job would make things better, I listen to this song often to remind myself how far I have come and to embrace all parts of my journey on my road to being the best me ever.

8. Saved by Khalid – I love everything about Khalid when I think of him the  hastag BlackBoyJoy always comes to mind. I love hard and its often hard for me to let people go, sometimes you don’t want to let go, just in case they need you or you need them, or just want to know if they are okay. However, I will delete a number real quick, but not pictures, I can always retrieve numbers if I really want to. Shotout to sprint online, for always being clutche when my impulsiveness kicks in. If we dated and I never deleted your number, we weren’t that close #SorryNotSorry!

9.    Miss Thang by Monica – I came back across this album towards the end of 2017 and it made fall in love all over again with the talented Ms. Monica. The lyrics speak to her being unapologetically who she is, sometimes we all need a reminder of who we are and you can either roll or get left.

10.Like This and Like That by Monica  – This is my current life in song, it also goes back to my desire to be vulnerable and transparent. Like listen sir, I want you to know how I feel, if you want this you better show me in action and words, or I will walk away knowing I did all I could and be okay with that. On a side note I never listen to the rap verse at the end, I be like what is he talking about :/

11.Real Hitta  by Plies feat Kodak Black – this could have been interchanged with a number of songs to represent my love for hood music, trap music, its usually old school late 90’s early 2000’s but I love Plies and Kodak Black voices (don’t judge me) so they will represent for the list for 2017.

12.Bodak Yellow by Cardi B  – This was a banger in 2017, this made my soundtrack not just because of the song, more because it’s by Cardi B. Ever since Love of and Hip Hop, she has been  a true example of living unapologetically, putting in work and doing her thing, people come at her side ways all the time, but for me all I can think is it doesn’t matter where you start it matters where you finish, and she is def. ending 2017 on top. I feel like I have been living 2017 to the fullest, riding the waves like Cardi B and taking it into 2018 and beyond.

 What songs made your 2017 soundtrack? Comment Below. Peace and Blessings!

[therhoyalpalm]

Check out ScarlettOlivia’s 2017 playlist on Spotify!

[therhoyalpalm]

2017 is Almost a Wrap 🤷🏾‍♀️

As my first official blog series, I will be reflecting on my 2017. Get ready for my 2017 soundtrack, top 10 lessons that I learned, and how lost, fear, change, and living my best life shaped 2017! 2017 soundtrack coming soon - I’m an old head at heart, so just be prepared! Peace and blessings!

#2017 #reflection #blackwomenwriters #blackgirlsrock #vulnerability #lifelessons LifeSoundtrack music

[therhoyalpalm]

The Start...

I have wanted to start a blog for years or should I say a vlog! I have continued to put it off out of fear, lack of motivation, not knowing what to talk about, but as 2017 is coming to end, I’m jumping right in to 2018. So, welcome to the start of this journey of sharing my thoughts and ideas and taking a step of vulnerability! Come enjoy the ride!!!

#freshstart #stepoutofyourcomfortzone #blackwomenwriters #vulnerability #implusive #dedication