therussianmajor

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I just have to do everything around here.

Red, White & Royal Blue (2023) dir. Matthew López

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Someone explain to me why it was easier for me to find guys IN THE ACTUAL RUSSIAN FEDERATION than in LOS ANGELES,,,,,,,,,,, make it make sense. please.

#gay #lasjdpfkjasgfdas

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"Why are all the good guys gay?" jlasjfdlabalynskdsjf THEY ARE NOT. I ASSURE YOU.

#Literally gay men are the worst and the most marriage-worthy guys I know are unfortunately straight #the gay dating pool is non-existent

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rwrb anon again: i really enjoyed it, tbh (i read it so fast i'm still processing it). All the allusions to the bible and religion and love had me losing my mind (and the emails??? With fragments from historical letters???? As much as I like linguistics, I also have a soft spot for literature and history and ughhhh). It was exactly what I needed after an academic failure. So thanks for bringing it back to my dashboard :)

asdklfjlka yayyyyy I'm so glad you liked it. It's just such a comforting read and I also go back to it after academic failures (and personal failures, and gay failures, and all the other kinds of failures).

#rwrb #red white and royal blue

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Screaming, crying, throwing up

From @ RWRBNews on Twitter

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Thought you should know that, after thinking about reading red, white and royal blue for a long time, you posting about it was what convinced me to give it a shot

omg yayyyyyyyyy tell me how you like it!!

#I love rwrb #such a great angst-/anxiety-free comfort read

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IM ACTUALLY SCREAMING SO LOUD NO ONE TALK TO ME 

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I celebrated Am*rica yesterday by drinking for 13 hours straight and it appears g-d approves of this because I somehow do not even have a slight hangover

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“At cruising altitude, he takes the chain off his neck and slides the ring on next to the old house key. They clink together gently as he tucks them both under his shirt, two homes side by side.”

Casey Mcquiston, page 291

#not me crying over this line again

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Rude of Tumblr to show me Sonic ads when I no longer live somewhere with Sonics 😭

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alex: fuck capitalism. it’s a rigged system that keeps the poor down and it isn’t fair. you shouldn’t need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

alex, playing monopoly: sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor

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Why yes, I am re-reading RW&RB again, no I will not be commenting on my mental state

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rwrb quotes that make me go feral:

Alex throws his head back and laughs handsomely, loud and false. "Go fuck yourself"

"Hardly enough time", Henry says

(page 36)

"I had a magazine with his face on it at my desk, once, because I was in it and he happened to be on the cover."

"You stared at it for an hour"

(page 59)

He stares at the screen, at his own message, for a few seconds too long, suddenly afraid it was a stupid thing to say. He shakes his head, puts the phone down. Locks it. Changes his mind, picks it up again. Unlocks it. Sees the little typing bubble on Henry's side of the conversation. Puts the phone down. Looks away. Looks back. [...]

He would really appreciate it if Henry would stop proving him wrong.

(page 72)

"Okay", Alex says.

"Okay", Henry agrees.

"Okay", Alex says again.

(page 83)

"Christ, you are as thick as it gets", he says, and he grabs Alex's face in both hands and kisses him

(page 107)

In his head, he tries to cobble a list together in a panic, gets as far as, One, Henry's lips are soft, and short-circuits

(page 108)

and texts Alex at weird hours of the night: You're a mad, spiteful, unmitigated demon, and I'm going to kiss you until you forget how to talk

(page 158)

Alex's heart goes so fucking weird that he has to put his head in his hands for a full minute

(page 160)

He rolls onto his stomach, considers, and very deliberately says "Baby".

It's become a thing: baby. He knows it's become a thing. He's slipped up and accidentally said it a few times, and each time Henry positively melts and Alex pretends not to notice, but he's not above playing dirty here.

There's a slow hiss of an exhale across the line, like air escaping through a crack in the windows.

(page 166)

"I miss you", Alex says before he can stop himself.

He instantly regrets it, but Henry says, "I miss you too"

(page 173)

And through it all, Alex realizes with a start: He has friends now

(page 201)

I'll be damned but I miss you

(page 203)

"And you are good. Most things are awful most of the time, but you're good"

[...]

Henry kisses his mouth over and over again and says quietly, "You are good"

(page 230)

"Oh my God, I thought you were getting into international relations or something"

"I mean, technically-"

"If you finish that sentence, I'm gonna spend tonight in jail"

(page 233)

"Would it make any difference at all if I told you not to see him again?"

"No"

(page 234)

History, huh? Bet we could make some

(page 241)

Should I tell you that when we're apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I've just been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all?

(page 242)

Goddamn, I love him. It keeps coming back to him, and it's getting harder to look into Henry's soft smiles and not say it.

(page 261)

"So glad you flew here to insult me-"

"I fucking love you, okay?", Alex half yells, finally, irreversibly

(page 271)

He tells his too-fast brain: Don't miss it this time. He's too important

(page 275)

When Alex was a kid, before anyone knew his name, he dreamed of love like it was a fairy tale, as if it would come sweeping into his life on the back of a dragon one day. When he got older, he learned about love as a strange thing that could fall apart no matter how badly you wanted it, a choice you make anyway. He never imagined it'd turn out he was right both times

(page 280)

At cruising altitude, he takes the chain off his neck and slides the ring next to the old house key. They clink together gently as he tucks them both under his shirt, two homes side by side

(page 291)

I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire

(page 300)

"You and me and history, remember? I'm never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. So, I promise you, one day we'll be able to just be"

(page 312)

on the map of you, my fingers can always find the green hills, wales. cool waters and a shore of white chalk. the ancient part of you carved out of stone in a prayerful circle, sacrosanct. your spine's a ridge i'd die climbing

(page 320)

He takes a breath. "But the thing is, jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing. That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose"

(page 344)

He called Henry the North Star once. That wasn't bright enough

(page 399)

He would have taken Henry's face in both hands and kissed him hard and deep and on purpose and said, "Take anything you want and know you deserve to have it"

(page 407)

Henry's smiling so wide and bright that Alex thinks his heart's going to break trying to hold the size of this entire moment, the completeness of it, a thousand years of history swelling inside his rib cage

(page 414)

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alex: good morning to everyone except my boyfriend who literally fleed the country overnight to escape talking about his gay feelings and ghosted me right after, not once, BUT TWICE

henry: i thought you said “i love the way you look” when i wake up

alex: yeah, the face you make when the first thing you’re met with upon awakening is an insult

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smokeshow

#I hate myself for thinking this but there is almost nothing hotter than Sebastian Stan smoking

[therussianmajor]

Stapleton Kearns - Blue Night, Waterville VT, ca. 2018

[therussianmajor]

2021 Ukraine stamp depicting traditional Crimean Tatar dish çiberek, pomegranate, jug of ayran and Crimean cultural landscape in the background.