thetanzaniteknight

[thetanzaniteknight]

These two crack me up every time! I don't know what kind of training even goes into being a news anchor but I feel like the bulk of it is nailing the 'anchor voice' 😂😂😂

[thetanzaniteknight]

Why did English keep the German ‘stark’ as an intensifier but only for ‘naked’ and ‘raving mad’

[thetanzaniteknight]

Fuck. Those fuckers at the store sold me No Purpose Flour again. What the fuck do I do with this

[thetanzaniteknight]

[thetanzaniteknight]

[thetanzaniteknight]

[thetanzaniteknight]

I went to dollar tree once in my Halloween costume (slutty plague doctor- and yes, I did wear the full beaked mask into the store) that I had put on in the neighboring Spirit Halloween and didn’t want to take off because it had a corset (with, i shit you not, like fifty little clasps)

But instead of this happening an old man looked at me, wheezed, and clutched his chest like he thought he was about to have a legitimate heart attack- he had to balance himself on a cash register

I'm in TJ Max with full skull facepaint on cause I didn't feel like taking it off and a child is following me. Not saying anything just following me

[thetanzaniteknight]

it makes me so sad how new mobs are being added to minecraft dungeons

like more pets and animals, but i literally dont know anyone who plays this game

look how cute they are

we need these in vanilla minecraft

[thetanzaniteknight]

[thetanzaniteknight]

GBBO: “A s’more is basically just an Italian merengue sandwiched between two ganache-covered digestives”

Americans:

[thetanzaniteknight]

Y’all gotta be kidding me with this “today” shit like…. What’s next?? Tomorrow??

#public school is weird and I got hit on by multiple creepy dudes today I want to go to bed and not wake up for a few days </3

[thetanzaniteknight]

[thetanzaniteknight]

Doing a single downward dog pose on my first day of yoga class and the chakral realignment VIOLENTLY purges all toxins from my body in the form of a cloud of rancid pus that explodes from my pores. Namasty.

#i also have Ehlers Danlos and the first time I did group yoga (I formerly only did contortion and at a cirque studio full of other weirdos) #i was doing a back stretch (cobra) and went into it like I usually do #I.e. fully bending myself in half backwards #and every single bone in my back popped #it felt GREAT #but the instructor lost her ✨zen✨ and went ARE YOU OKAY??! #she thought I’d like. broken my spine😅 oopsies

[thetanzaniteknight]

is he … you know … open to interpretation?

[thetanzaniteknight]

i know some naughty words that will really knock your socks off

[thetanzaniteknight]

I truly hate the word "unalive." There are so many other euphemisms that fictional Italian mobsters worked so hard to provide you with and you just ignore them.

[thetanzaniteknight]

isopods are just little  guys of the earth