If I channeled this much suck into a vacuum cleaner, I'd have the strongest vacuum cleaner in the world.
Dyson is getting pretty jealous right now.
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I just took a DNA test. It turns out.. you're 100% dead.
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Problematically stiff, like puberty.
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I got the instructions off a Wiccan Tumblr.
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I'm a puzzle. An enigma. A Rubik's cube with pants.
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Talk bigly and drink a big dick.
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Mama always said never trust a fart, never turn down head, and never waste a boner.
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Every day we stray further from god's light and more into fkn adult CoCoMelon.
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I think physical labor tastes good.
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I ate ten day old meatloaf and puked so hard I broke blood vessels in my eyes. And you might be thinking, "Oh man, was this back in college?" Nah, this was last year. I'm just stupid.
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Listen, this is going to be one hell of a bowel movement. Afterwards, he'll be lucky if he has any bones left.
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I got bitch slapped back into eternity. I got bitch slapped back in time!
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Put some mistletoe on my butt and kiss it, Bob.
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It's like fine cognac with a hint of aged scrotum.
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Hi, my name is Markiplier and I am very tired.
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He's not my friend, he's my brother. And he's an idiot.
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