thiswitchyweirdo

[thiswitchyweirdo]

Me telling my 30yo coworker not to call them E cigarettes bc it ages her and to call them vapes

[thiswitchyweirdo]

My friends grabbed me and hugged me today while pulling me into her lap and when I hugged her back I was like “did I put deodorant on today?” And she went *snifff* “you’re good” RIGHT IN MY ARMPIT and that is girlhood

[thiswitchyweirdo]

Ad: “your vape is like your toxic therapist”

“Your mom is my toxic therapist”*hits vape*

#I had anxiety beforehand

[thiswitchyweirdo]

The funniest bit I have is directly after kissing my crush I THREW UP

#thought about him knowing other women

[thiswitchyweirdo]

This is important to me lol but the bassist in ghost has the same birthday as me and his wife’s birthday is the same as my best friend’s :(((

#astrology is real #cos sylvan #cosmo sylvan #ghost bc #ghost band #nameless ghouls

[thiswitchyweirdo]

“Do vegans eat pussy?”

Important questions clearly

#quotes #quote from earlier today #I’m not gonna say I said it #but I did

[thiswitchyweirdo]

Friend who got me a chicken bake from Costco sent me a text that said “come get baked with your chicken bake” weirdos

[thiswitchyweirdo]

I went to the bathroom at the sleepover taking place at MY HOUSE which is NOT HAUNTED. but my friends house is and the bathroom door opened while I was in there and we both just said “what the fuck?..” I told her to leave that shit at her place

[thiswitchyweirdo]

“I think I’m about to have sex with Daryl Dixon! I’m scared.”

“I’m scared. I’m scared. Anna I’m scared”

IM LOSING MY MIND RN

MY FRIWND IS UAING CHARACTER AI IM ACRRWAMONG

[thiswitchyweirdo]

WATCGING EVIL DEAD RISE AND HE SAID “they’re not gonna get the security deposit, they made a mess!”

#evil dead rise #why is my dad so funny

[thiswitchyweirdo]

My friends cat was following me around the house earlier just joining me for my adventure and honestly I have never felt more awesome

#I fr had the best day #cat slay

[thiswitchyweirdo]

Was playing among us with my coworkers and my ones brother came in and asked what we were doing and after we said playing among us he said “but aren’t you guys old..?”

WATCH YOUR MOUTH

[thiswitchyweirdo]

*explaining that I don’t like blueberries*

My mom: they aren’t the devils food!

Me: IF IT WAS THE DEVILS FOOD ID EAT IT 👹

[thiswitchyweirdo]

BIRTHDAY BORDATH BORTHDAY IM 19 hehe!!

#birthday #slay #19 #kilby girl

[thiswitchyweirdo]

One of my clients today said I looked like Jenna Ortega. First of all never insult her like that again AND NEVER TELL ME THAT BECAUSE I AM CRAZY ITLL GO TO MY HEAD. WE LOOK NOTHING ALIKE

[thiswitchyweirdo]

AHHHHHHH TODAY WAS THE FIRST TIME I HAD A REAL CONVO WITH MY CRUSH AT WORK AHHHHHH

[thiswitchyweirdo]

“Do you want the car to burst into flames?”

“Yes!!”

#causal convo with mom