thoughtful-lisztomaniac

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

im hurt because it all feels like a lie.

for weeks you were thinking about breaking up with me.

for weeks you knew the ending of us was near.

yet for weeks you were making plans for the future and making memories that i used to hold close to my heart.

but those plans will never be fulfilled and those memories are tarnished.

you tainted every single word and every single moment.

you lied about our plans.

you lied about our future.

you lied about ghosting me.

you lied about wanting to be friends.

how am i supposed to know you didnt lie when you said you loved me?

you said you loved me after you had already ripped out my heart.

how am i supposed to know you didnt say that as a lousy attempt to soften the blow?

because all it did was make this hurt more because none of it makes sense.

if you werent lying when you said you were happy in our relationship and happy being with me then why would you leave something that makes you happy?

why would something that makes you happy not be for you?

how can i believe you when you said i did nothing wrong?

how can i believe you when you said you wanted to be in a relationship in the first place?

how can i believe that the reason you told me you were ending things was the truth?

how can i believe that any of it was real…

excerpt from a book i’ll never write #92

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #excerpt from a story i'll never write #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #love #writers on heartbreak #spilled heart #heartboken #you broke my heart #heartache #heartbreak #writers on life #spilled writing #excerpts from my writing #writers on writing #writers #writings #writers on tumblr #writing #poets on life #spilled poetry #poets corner #poem #poetry #poets on tumblr #spilled wishes #spilled work #spilled emotions #spilled feelings #spilled words

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

i feel stupid.

im angry with myself.

how could i let myself be vulnerable with someone yet again?

i knew better.

i know i dont want to get hurt like this anymore.

it never feels worth it in the end.

excerpt from a book i’ll never write #91

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #excerpt from a story i'll never write #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #love #writers on heartbreak #spilled heart #heartboken #you broke my heart #heartache #heartbreak #spilled writing #spilled emotions #spilled poetry #poets on life #poets corner #poets on tumblr #poem #poetry #writing #excerpts from my writing

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

when i fell for you i knew this would be something i would want to write about. but i couldnt. words just cannot simply describe my love for you. heartbreak has always been easiest to write. i thought i knew what true love felt like but i was wrong. at least now i’ll have something to write about.

excerpt from a book i’ll never write #90

#excerpt from a book i’ll never write #excerpt from my journal #excerpt from my life #love #writers on love #heartboken #heartbreak #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #spilled words #spilled feelings #poets on tumblr #poets corner #spilled poetry #writers #writings

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

“i knew you didn’t love me anymore just by the way you held me.”

-excerpt from a book i’ll never write #89

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #excerpt from a story i'll never write #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #writers on heartbreak #spilled writing #spilled feelings #spilled heart #writing #poets on life #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

“My soul chose yours. And a soul doesn’t just forget that.”

— Ben Maxfield

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

“I won’t say it wasn’t meant to be, because it was. We were. Only for a short while, maybe. But we were.”

— Unknown

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

“i watched as you turned your back on me for what felt like the hundreth time. “when will you pick me..” i said under my breath, holding back tears. i wanted to scream. i wanted to demand that for once it was me. that for once you saw me... that for once the one who mattered was me.”

-excerpt from a book i’ll never write #88

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #excerpt from a story i'll never write #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #love #spilled wishes #spilled emotions #spilled words #spilled poetry #spilled writing #writers on heartbreak #writers on tumblr #writing #new poets society #poetry #poets on tumblr

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

“You deserve good things and I want to be one of them.”

— Ellen Hopkins

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

“I opened my mouth, almost said something. Almost. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. But I didn’t.”

— Khaled Hosseini

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

“I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

sometimes my mind gets flooded with all the memories we made.

the years we spent together.

the laughs.

the smiles.

the hugs.

the late night talks.

i will never stop wondering “what if”.

- excerpt from a book i’ll never write #87

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #excerpt from a story i'll never write #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #love #spilled wishes #spilled emotions #new poets society #spilled poetry #spilled writing #poets on tumblr #writers on heartbreak #writers on tumblr #writing #heartbreak

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

I loved you so much that I forgot to love myself

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

You realise they stopped caring when they stop asking how you are or what you’re doing. 

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

“I’m with you. No matter what else you have in your head I’m with you and I love you.”

— Ernest Hemingway

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

“Maybe we’ll meet again, when we are slightly older and our minds less hectic, and I’ll be right for you and you’ll be right for me. But right now, I am chaos to your thoughts and you are poison to my heart.”

— Unknown

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

“Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.”

— Sylvia Plath

[thoughtful-lisztomaniac]

“But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.”

— Lemony Snicket