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Now that I lost the feelings I used to get when you are around, when you watching me from the distance or when you listen to everything I said closely. How I have to pretend that my body still function well when it's clearly weren't. Feelings that I could never explain, where it from  and what makes it gone.

some book that is not written yet

#love #love quotes #quotes #quote #daily quotes #Thoughts #feelings

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Michele is on Instagram

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hihii this my year!

Happy Year of the Ox!

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Mountaintop Sunset over Vermont [OC][2231x2833][Vermont, USA] - Author: meg_unwell on reddit

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Isabel Allende, The House of the Spirits (translated by Magda Bogin)

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World can just flip up side down, maybe in the end I'm just going to make you hates me and at some point I will stop seeing the goods in you but my favorite eyes to see will still be yours

forever your (eyes) admirer

#love #love quotes #quote #quotes #bucin #budak cinta

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“Aquarium Installs Sushi Roll Cylinders For Eels To Slide Into.”

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Mary Oliver, "1945–1985: Poem For The Anniversary." Devotions

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I can smell these pictures

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“Don’t let your loneliness make you reconnect with toxic people. You shouldn’t drink poison just because you’re thirsty.”

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What’s yours will find you.

Unknown (via bnmxfld)

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—how wonderful to be who I am, made out of earth and water, my own thoughts, my own fingerprints— all that glorious, temporary stuff.

Mary Oliver, excerpt of “On Meditating, Sort Of”, in Blue Horses (via antigonick)

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That person who would take a bullet for you, even when you not giving them a reason to

Maybe after all its just same old cycle the one that she loves hurts her, and then when you starts to love her she hurt you and put it all on you and then when somebody loves you, you put everything on them and hurt that person and that person is happens to be me. 

When I think about that and I try to understand that after all we just wounded person that carry too much weigh on our shoulder and trying to put it on others and sometimes its hurt the one that loves us. I don’t think its a revenge cause part of all the evil thing human capable to do I still believe that they are not pure evil. There’s must be a reason they do certain thing. Bad thing or a good thing, they’re must be a motive behind it. 

I just think that they might don’t know how to manage their heartbreak, all of the pain they have from getting hurt by someone and someone they love dearly and it break them and put them into deepest disappointment they never thought before and it changed them somehow, blurred their view on life, people in general, humanity and sometimes it changed their own beliefs in life because they just hurt so bad. That what they do, the take it in order to defend themselves if they ever get hurt again, even though that means hurting someone who truly care about them. 

Its sad to see how people cope with their own sadness and then intentionally (or not) hurt another person.

Why it had to end up like this, why people think go that way is the only options? People can do what they gotta do but I don’t want to be part of this. I don’t want to lead someone on just because it makes me feel good. I don’t want to put all my baggage that I carried from my past heartbreak to someone that loves me cause that’s not fair and so wrong and not with “its a prove if someone truly love us they take us as we are” not with that lies you try to tell yourself hundred times to justify things that you did when the reality is all of the things that happened supposed to be make you more mature but you missed the point. 

There’s gotta be another way. Hurting someone else won’t heal your wounds. Matter of fact I believe that it’s just going to hurt their own wounds when they realized that someone they hurt doesn’t deserve it because they are not them, and not everyone going to turn to be like them. 

Even maybe when you got everything figure out you realized that someone you hurt before might be the on you would take a bullet for cause you realized that’s what they deserve, cause that what they did, long before you realized everything or even know what you actually want. But they do, thy would take a bullet for you, even when you give them no reason to until they realized that you don’t need it, or you tossed it all away. After a long fight they realized that in order to save someone, you have to save yourself first. They can’t afford of losing themselves in order to saves you, especially when you made it clear to them you don’t want to be save

#daily journal #deep thoughts #deep thinking #midnight thoughts #late night thoughts #relationship #move on #daily diary #diary #heartbreak #brokenhearted

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Never thought squeezing my brains out would feel so fun when it comes to the thing that we love to do

Me

#fun #writing #quotes #random thoughts #hobby #quarantine #2021

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Then maybe I can sleep at night not thinking about what would it be if I love better, cause I know I did

You know what, sometimes things in life doesn’t always go the way we wanted it to be no matter how well we prepare for everything, no matter how good we done certain thing to get it right. There’s must be something that’s just out of our control as a human and all we have to do is just accept it and move on. Stop beating yourself up for something that is out of your reach especially when you know that you already tried your best. There’s no better thing to do than try being the best of yourself and if you did that and somehow its not enough just remember its enough, you tried enough and you knew that. Don’t ever try to fool yourself that you aren’t cause the result tell you other wise or other people opinion tell you other wise, no don’t get discourage by them cause deep down you already knew to appreciate your effort rather just rely on the result to decide your happiness. People be so result oriented they forgot that the process is the time when we actually learn to fall and get back up again to reach for a good result. We learn through the process and that what people should’ve appreciate more than an instant good result. I’ve always knew this and it always been have y attention from my early days but I still try to remind myself every time I got carried away from my belief cause everyone else think otherwise and that is even more difficult to do than to imagine.

Just like, bad heartbreak doesn’t make all of the great memories turned bad. Its still a great memories and I want to keep it that way cause I remember each seconds of happiness that make me feel like I am the most alive person at that moment, the most alive version of me and nothing can change that, nothing can make me change my mind and deny all that. I remember the good side of you that make me believe that you deserve all the love I can give and even after what happen, if I be able to chose to still give you all or take it all back for me, I will still chosen the same, I wouldn’t change a thing cause I don’t feel wrong giving myself and all the love for someone that deserves it even after that he tossed that away but here I am still trying to convince myself that it’s not me, it’s not me who done anything wrong even though thats seems like hurting my ego but I regret nothing. I gave you the love and you throw it all away. I’m sorry but I tried and even if I told you that I’ll hate you cause its easier that way but the truth is I can never do that, the same old bullshit that I pull to make myself feel better but it’s not. I don’t know why it’s not obvious for you to see but I can never do that. I still see you as the person that I willing to give my all too, and I did and I carry on cause I should do that for myself, and I carry all this with me until this day. All the love I gave to you that you don’t need and that’s okay.

Maybe after all, I am not loving myself enough to begin with. I always told myself that if I feel like other people owe me the love that I gave to them then maybe the truth is I am not giving enough love for myself. I wouldn’t let bad heartbreak no matter how bad the break is decide what love means for me and I won’t let that happen cause it’s two different thing. What I wanted to say is when everything feels too hurt to handle, take a step back to ask yourself, you give a lot of your love to people, have you done the same to yourself? Don’t stay in a bad situation for to long, don’t be afraid to pull the trigger, if you think someone deserve all of your love so do so regardless they going to take it or not, don’t worry too much about it. Maybe one day they realized how good to be loved and do it to other people they think they deserve and somehow this world turns a little better because of that and me as well relying with time that going to heal me I believe that there’s someone put there that going to be needed my love and would love to appreciate and do the same, make me feel loved and matters. When that come I can finally say that don’t choose to be unhappy, cause I might miss all the happiness that passing through in front of my eyes. Don’t settle in bad relationship no matter how much you invest on that especially when you know you struggle alone to make it better, its all out of your control. You might missed the person that is right for you and would fight for your love and happiness. When it comes to love, there is no such a thing as giving too much. I believe that we have to give 100% when we feel its right and whether its going to end well or not in the end you know that you give everything you could. You don’t wonder later on at night that you should’ve done differenly cause you give everything you could. You have no regret.

#relationship #love #loved #to be loved #heartbreak #brokenhearted #talking to myself #late night thoughts #lovehurt #happiness #happy

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✨🌿🕊 I do enough. I have enough. I am enough. I receive what my heart desires if it is meant for me. If not, something better is coming my way 🕊🌿✨

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Atticus

[Text ID: my darling,/you will never be unloved by me/you are too well tangled in my soul.]