thranduilland

[thranduilland]

I inherited my nanas mugs/glasses by virtue of moving into her place and being left with all her stuff no one else wanted. It has been a whole year now and guests are still finding glasses/mugs I have never seen before. Like, nana, wtf?! Where were you storing all of this and how have these newbies found them when I have never seen them before despite living here every day?!?!?

[thranduilland]

Doesn't have xkit and loads pics/gifs about once in a blue moon.

Guess I'll wait a few days for tumblr desktop to hopefully go back to how it was, or X Kit Rewritten to maybe give us a way to get the old desktop back... otherwise, it's been a good run, but the new layout genuinely makes me feel claustrophobic/anxious so I guess the only option will be to finally, finally close my account for good, lol.

[thranduilland]

Dream of the Endless, the Sandman, written by Neil Gaiman

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[thranduilland]

It started as an accident. She had looked human enough, after all. And as more of the faeries departed, the more the rest hid. The one thing they didn’t bother hiding was their prowess in bed, though. In fact, a lot of supernatural folk didn’t, though he found that out over the course of a few centuries.

It turned out, after a while, that the ones who were willing to fuck someone who looked so human and fragile were the ones who *always* did. He read a few books…listened to a few rumors - eventually wrote a list. Had the impulse to title it ‘Supernatural Sluts’, then, out of fear of recovering from a smiting, went with “The Horniest Bastards”.

He started working his way up - found a few entities who weren’t common in the human literature but who the other folks on his list knew and were all too happy to tattle on. “H.G.” kept moving up the list. (Not the best plausible deniability, given that he always kept them the same, but better than putting any of his names to a paper he could lose.) Lucifer was hard to get to, consider Hob’s whole stance on everything, but he caught them on a week’s vacation to Earth and they had a delightful couple days together (for good measure, he made a pass at Mazikeen- she accepted, making it quick and dirty.) A lot of the gods were a bitch to find, no longer where legend had always put them but generally still considering themselves above humanity and keeping away accordingly.

By the time he was making for Zeus, he knew there were betting pools going around: whether he could come out of it amicably and in human shape. There were also people flagging him down to ask if he knew what he was getting himself into. He might’ve thought they meant Zeus, if he hadn’t had to add someone to the top spot back when he tupped the former fifth place Horny Bastard. But ever since he’d made it to technically-now-sixth place, it had been “Dream of the Endless” this and “the Shaper of Forms” that. Hob hadn’t thought it could be possible to be more infamous than Zeus, but he’d heard the story of Nada a couple times now, and knew Titania herself counted among his exes. Now, the goal was only to bed them - work his way to the top, make himself a challenge for other horny bastards and to know exactly who could give him what he needed on a booty call. But fuck if he didn’t want to find this Dream, blow his mind, and part amicably just to spite all the man’s (being’s?) naysayers.

Zeus was almost disappointing, not that he’d ever admit that out loud. He liked not being a swan, thanks much. But it was so easy to part amicably with him - don’t insult him on purpose and play anything else off as a joke. And for all his practice, he was rather sloppy and selfish. Hob hoped the same couldn’t be said about him. Hob set out to find Dream of the Endless with a passion.

It was annoying how many people said it was easy to find him - that Hob just had to visit the Dreaming. No one would explain what that meant. Before he could figure it out on his own, Bast had come for a visit.

“I will tell you only a fool would do this. Unfortunately, I know now you are one. When you *do* reach the Dreaming…if the form he should pick has a tail, he likes a tug here and there. And if he should pick the right ears -“ she flicked her own. “You ought only to tickle or blow on them if you wish to be pinned.”

And it just sort of - kept happening. Exes kept finding him to recommend *against* Dream, but kept airing all his dirty laundry, anyway. Hob might be offended on his behalf if he wasn’t so determined to blow his mind. And some would show up regularly. It turned into a sort of club.

Murmurs went through the club one day, a shudder of concern. His ex-wife, captured just like him. He demanded elaboration, but they knew him well enough they would only tell him about Calliope. A god was not so far a thing from a human - a muse, a human might save with a bit of luck and the element of surprise. But, apparently, the Endless were so far beyond human - beyond any of them - that he couldn’t be trusted not to get himself stuck. He definitely wasn’t sulking when he showed up to the next meeting with Calliope in tow and they all *still* refused to tell him anything, with Calliope only saying she would reach out to who she could, to see what they could do around ‘The Laws’. Given that they never showed up to shove Dream of the Endless at him out of morbid curiosity (and several exhibition kinks), he figured that had gone nowhere.

Club meetings continued, he took notes, they bitched together and relaxed together and kept each other safe, occasionally ‘entertained’ each other.

His stranger came back! Called him friend! They talked for hours, well into the night. Hob didn’t even think to ask his name, too busy telling him of every technological wonder and sparkling new cultural phenomenon he could. And his friend seemed relaxed enough that Hob suspected, in hindsight, he might have just forgotten, somehow, that he was still nameless - he smiled every time Hob used ‘friend’, like it was an endearment and not a stand-in for a name. To be fair, really, it was that, too. In the end, Hob invited him to come by more often, and he said yes, and Hob nearly skipped his way to bed that night.

At the next meeting of The Club, he mused playfully about whether His Friend might belong on the Horny Bastards list somewhere, quickly mentioning the heated looks in the 18th century. Many of the others were quick to encourage the thought - they all maintained that he was better off without pursuing Dream. And then the New Inn’s door chimed. His friend entered and cast his eyes around. Hob met him with a dazzling smile and a wave. His friend’s face started to soften, but then he froze. Hob wondered if he was the sort that was intimidated by the likes of Bast and Titania and Calliope. At least until he noticed the whole club was equally still, and began to wonder if he was missing something here.

-🌔

🌔 anon. You are an icon. The "Get Hob Gadling to fuck Dream of the Endless Club" is my new favourite thing.

Dream when he walks into on Hob hanging out with 3 of his exes:

Hob working out that his Stranger is Dream of the Horny Bastardness:

Everyone else in the pub:

Comedy GOLD. I salute you, my friend.

#good shit

[thranduilland]

Guess I'll wait a few days for tumblr desktop to hopefully go back to how it was, or X Kit Rewritten to maybe give us a way to get the old desktop back... otherwise, it's been a good run, but the new layout genuinely makes me feel claustrophobic/anxious so I guess the only option will be to finally, finally close my account for good, lol.

#tumblr #staff #suberb job Staff #you doing great #/s

[thranduilland]

[thranduilland]

@staff hello!! What am I looking at?!?!? The fuck have you done?!?!?

#why?!?! #it was fine as it was!!! #who told you we wanted a layout change?!?! #staff #tumblr #worst update

[thranduilland]

[thranduilland]

Hob: *is In the rattiest clothes imaginable, at the lowest point of his life, 'I've hated every second of the last 80 years, is threatening to eat a table.*

Dream: *internally* Actually I desire him carnally.

[thranduilland]

[thranduilland]

I took yesterday’s Sandman Sunday very seriously. After months of video editing as a creative way to fill my biggest passion I pulled out my colored pencils and gave in my Tom face study urge. I am not fully convinced, yet I wanted to show my imperfect result.

[thranduilland]

Your daily dose of cat memes

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Season 2 outfit! Please consider donating to the Entertainment Community Fund!

Support the professionals who work hard to bring life to the media that you enjoy in these tough times! Listen to what the representatives of the WGA and SAG-AFTRA have to say (don't simply boycott unless asked by them! they need the demand!)

thank you @aeon-of-neon for the outfit refs!

[thranduilland]

it obviously makes sense, but one of my friend’s kids is going into swim class, and all the parents got an email today going, “when little ones are scared, they cling on to instructors. PLEASE trim their nails.” 

i don’t know why that’s so funny to me, but just. the idea of this poor, scratched swim instructor having to make sure to email before each class as a reminder to please declaw the children SENT me. 

[thranduilland]

If you were in a fanfic, would you be the pining idiot or the oblivious dumbass?

post it in the tags!!

#oblivious dumbass

[thranduilland]

Soo did y'all know you can get a soldering iron for 8 bucks? I didn't. I do now. I'm about to burn the shit out of myself.