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i made a sequel

#amazing

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Question: Who wants a stupid AU idea?

Answer: Presumably you, since you're on my blog and that's about the only thing I write.

This AU contains references to sexual activity and not-quite-cannibalism, as well as attempted child murder (Obi-Wan's canon early padawanship)

So you know all those "Stewjoni are valued as sex slaves because they're dual sex and possibly mild empaths" AUs?

I want "Stewjoni are carnivorous species who are very attractive human-seeming individuals, but specifically as a hunting mechanism to draw in and trick prey, like mimic spiders."

(Someone on discord said 'like succubi?' and no. Nope. Succubi fuck to death. They gain energy from the act of sex. Stewjoni just fucking eat people.)

(Well, not anymore. It's impolite.)

(They have animal alternatives now.)

Obi-Wan is a very, very attractive man and all those things about his genitalia and sexual proficiency are true! But try to enslave a Stewjoni at your own peril, they're more disarming then a Zeltron and, unlike the Zeltron, their first instinct will be to eat you.

Does he eat people? Well, not usually! There are some close calls on Bandomeer and Melida/Daan, but he's not old enough to really be at full sexy yet, and "cute enough that nobody will hurt me because I'm baby" doesn't work on Xanatos (because darksider) or the Melida/Daan adults (because they're already killing so many kids).

He comes very, very close on Rattatak.

I want to say he rips someone's throat out with his teeth while undercover as Hardeen and Dooku is just very ?????????? about it. He thought this was undercover Kenobi but now he's not so sure because Kenobi would never be so uncivilized, right?

(It does put a different spin on him threatening to eat that shark dude.)

Anakin: You don't know what it's like to struggle with the Dark, Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan: Every time I have sex my hindbrain is whispering to me that I should eat my partner. It's not the same thing, but I can relate on it a bit.

Obi-Wan: My natural prey is humans. Anakin: ...what. [some time later] Ahsoka: I'm a carnivore! Obi-Wan: Ah, you're in good company. Ahsoka: ...? Anakin: He eats people. Obi-Wan: I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT.

Obi-Wan: I am naturally inclined to eat people but I have never in my life done so on account of having been taught the innate value of life, and particularly that of a sapient beings, since toddlerhood. Anakin: I remember you ripping a man's face open with your teeth and eating the flesh you tore off as a power play when I was fifteen. Obi-Wan: I WAS IN HANDCUFFS AND HE WAS TRYING TO KILL YOU.

(Anakin 100% did not know that Obi-Wan wasn't human when Obi-Wan bit the dude's face off.)

Gelpenss: Obi-Wan very much wants to eat humanoids and unfortunately they ping his brain BEFORE the alternatives. He has NO innate dissuasion at the thought of eating human.

Atagotiak: Like, Anakin had realized Obi-Wan is more carnivorous than the baseline human, but... this is new. Anakin: Why didn't you tell me before? Obi-Wan: You were tiny! And Anxious! I didn't want you to think I might eat you!

I have no idea if Obi-Wan managed to distract Maul with the sexy. I assume he tried but did not succeed, just because that would be too much power, but it would be very funny if he did. Probably failed, though, and Qui-Gon's still dead. 😔

Qui-Gon insisted on Obi-Wan doing lots of meditation on the innate value of life throughout the entire padawancy.

#i love stewjoni are aliens stuff #cannibalism #spider wan spider wan uses looks to make em fawn #eats his mates starting with the head #luckily he's been fed #hey there there goes the spider wan #i guess not really cannibalism but close enough for the tag probably

[threebea]

Last Line Challenge

Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you like).

Thanks to @forloveofcodywan for tagging me!

For the Expectation

Slayer brought him a lot of red sabers. Cody was getting quite the collection. The Red crystals were badges of honour to Clone Generals. He had earned one himself by determination and luck and had lost half a battalion and received his promotion for it. The four others that now hung there were gifts from his Jedi.

It might end up in later chapter (and it might be more or less crystals I still haven't decided) but I always like the idea of Kyber jewelery because it's kind of dark when you think about it. So in this AU they're kind of like medals and show other Clone leaders how many Sith they've taken out. Having one without the aid of a Jedi made Cody a huge badass.

No pressure tags @ellewidogast (lemme see some of that transmigration au ❤️ jkjk only if you want)

#tag games

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anybody know what Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Novelization) 2016 .PDF meant by this

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from that iconic tumblr dot com ask

#lololok #yes

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trio time let’s gooooo ❗️❗️❗️❗️

#ooooooo cool

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i did it. i made another timeline.

this time it's about the disaster lineage! though, surprisingly, making this was less of a disaster than i had expected. i was consistently able to find dates and ages for pretty much everyone. comes with the territory of being related to the main characters i guess lol

not going to make an entire essay this time - this is all basically canon anyway (apart from the Feemor thing but HOW ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO WORK) - apart from rael and qui-gon's ages. all i did was take qui-gon's d.o.b. and give it to rael and then give qui-gon a new d.o.b. based on the fact he was taken on as dooku's apprentice at 12. simple. literally everything else had a year or age to go by, i had so few problems it was beautiful.

i think i have written down every main event related to these folks but if i've somehow missed something please do tell me and i will fix it!

.

(i am still taking timeline requests if you would like to see others)

#ooooo cool

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drinkin' Jedi-style with some ~cerveza cristal~

#nice

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🍇

#love this

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POV: you’re the scariest and most dangerous commander in GAR

A version without light and shadows under the cut

#so sweet

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aesthetic: everyone just standing around dragging anakin as he fights for his life

#rex speaks from experience

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So I’m going to make a Star Wars discord server and I can’t choose a name. If anyone wants to join or have any name ideas just respond to this post.

#cool sounds good!

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/shark theme intensifies/

Consider joining Patreon for extra content!

#i was already humming the jaws theme before i saw the comment #the shark vibes of her are immaculate op

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shares my pain with my fictional bestie

#rex go have a nap pls

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Padmé with her beloved son

#awww

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I had so much fun drawing @chaosgoblinhours 's OC Hacksaw!

I've loved him ever since I first read about him in one of their fics and he is such a lovely character <3

I took a lot of inspo from his backstory for the composition (and the vid), poor baby.

#op: i had so much fun drawing this #me: sobbing 😭 #this so good tho

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I love THE space buns as much as the next guy, but you gotta admit they are at their peak when disheveled

#yes cute