throwing-shit-into-the-void

[throwing-shit-into-the-void]

You know what fucking sucks about love? When you know they’re falling out of love, refuse to dream about a future with you, and what your relationship has come to makes you so incredibly sad, you don’t have the heart to go back and read all those love letters you saved to read when you’re having a hard time. It’s like looking at a photograph of your most amazing memories, and realizing everyone in the picture is dead.

[throwing-shit-into-the-void]

Dear god. Okay so I’m very LGBT but have no clue what my ultimate sexuality is. I’ve been identifying as bisexual ever since I was 14, and I’m much older now and have had….many sexual experiences. I have listened to people in other sectors of our community, specifically trans.

My husband/spouse/wife is non binary obviously, and I love them dearly. I knew before they did, and have asked them to marry me before they came out to me. And trust me when I say, I have never been more sexually attracted to them in my life. Yeah yeah yeah, the honeymoon phase or whatever but honestly? That’s just a load of shit for people who don’t learn to communicate, and more importantly listen. I love them, and I want to have no other experiences besides with them. I want them, my body yearns for theirs, and I just feel so ungodly happy every time I get to hold them when they’re sleeping next to me.

GUYS I DID IT I MARRIED MY BEST FRIEND, MY SECOND HALF, and THE ABSOLUTE SWEETEST HUMAN BEING IN EXISTENCE!

There is nothing sexier than someone outwardly being the truest version of themselves, and fucking killing it. When someone is assertive, secure, and mature???? Holy fuck just take me away. And they have!! I love them so much

So here is my question, i have been identifying as bisexual, and before it was more towards women and men, however, me being absolutely star struck and caught off guard by my attraction to my lover who is non binary, i feel like identifying as pansexual isn’t enough. I am truly attracted to them 100%, but I feel like a sexuality where you’re only attracted to non-binary people fetishize them? However, one could argue that being non-binary is just another version of gender, however nb in it if itself is an umbrella term for everything under the sun, rightfully so may I add. I don’t want to fetishize my spouse, and I want them to feel as comfortable as I am with them and all that. They’re just really new i to their transition as themselves in this society and don’t know the answers themselves when i ask them these questions.

Is it really fetishizing when your partner, marital spouse, identifies as one way? And then all of a sudden it’s like, “holy shit you’re all I’ve ever wanted you’re all I’ve ever needed,” but being yelled at by people in this LGBTQA+ community about fetishizing trans individuals really scares me into either not having the right way of thinking about it. “I’m only attracted to trans females” or “I only like trans guys,” I’ve heard comes across as really gross towards those who identify that way and are being pursued. I love them, I just love my spouse so much and I’m trying so hard to get everything right so we don’t look back at this part of our relationship in 20 years thinking how gross my mindset was and how wrong it was.

Maybe I’m not bi or pan or whatever. Maybe I’m just completely attracted to my partner 100%? They’re all I ever want and all I feel like I will ever need to feel successful in life? But on the other hand, is this part of my sexuality i never got to explore before getting married? That thought is what I’m talking about above. And if it is, am I wrong for feeling that way? I just love my partner. Maybe I’m just attracted to their badassiry and them themselves. I don’t know.

I just know I married the exact right person for me, and for that, if I were to die tomorrow, I would die the happiest human in all of existence :)

#lbgtqa #lgbtq positivity #lgbt discourse #lgbt pride #lbgt love #lgbtqiia+ #lgbt representation #lgbt questions #send help #married #i love you #love #I love them so much I feel like I could die tomorrow and still be the happiest human to have ever existed #I’m having like a mental crisis right now because I really need answers to questions I feel would either validate or educate me on the way #I’m feeling because I am very confused and just want to do everything right #holy fuck I married the greatest person in existence