tiny-turtle-man

[tiny-turtle-man]

i am so Tired

[tiny-turtle-man]

my girlfriend just said i have very sharp “scoopy scoopy scapulas” and i have no idea what to make of that.

no actually i hate it why on earth would you say that ever

/lh

[tiny-turtle-man]

update: we are dating

just when i think i’m improving i notice Possible Feelings For Friend ahaha fuck

[tiny-turtle-man]

update: they know this blog exists

just when i think i’m improving i notice Possible Feelings For Friend ahaha fuck

[tiny-turtle-man]

just when i think i’m improving i notice Possible Feelings For Friend ahaha fuck

#don’t worry if you’re reading this it’s not you #this person does NOT know this blog exists

[tiny-turtle-man]

yes mom i am aware im mentally ill and that i do in fact need food to live

[tiny-turtle-man]

oh yeah this is a GREAT time to start bleeding internally

i just love it when my muscles try and give birth to my own uterine lining. it feels great.

[tiny-turtle-man]

damn i really out here making bad decisions. i literally sat down and went “i’m gonna regret this” and you wouldn’t BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:

i regretted it

[tiny-turtle-man]

anyone want to be my sugar daddy? im hot, broke, and kinky :)

[tiny-turtle-man]

ah yes, the age-old question:

“do i have uti? or did I just mash my g-spot too hard yesterday?”

only time will tell

#regret

[tiny-turtle-man]

fucking hell i hate being pan i can’t find any porn thats hot because HOW IS IT SEXY IF I DONT KNOW YOUR PERSONALITY DJDJSNJS i could care less if ur strangers just fucking somewhere djdjsns i need some fuckin,,,CONTEXT like

nothing sexier than a movie sex scene!!! you can tell what’s going on and lose yourself in it!!!

porn fucking sucks, dawg!

[tiny-turtle-man]

yo i couldn’t focus on my lab report bc i was horny asf so i put on my collar and suddenly i was like “need to focus. need to be good” and honestly i did NOT expect that to work

also where the fuck did all that subiness come from????

[tiny-turtle-man]

mmm yes i love it when i convince myself i’m losing my sense of taste because the apple i just had wasn’t as tasty as i thought it would be

[tiny-turtle-man]

aha aha almost made it two years but now the board is back to zero days babeyyyy

#i use humor to cope

[tiny-turtle-man]

also the guy im fooling around with is a bit of a try-hard but ngl i’ll take what i can get

[tiny-turtle-man]

holy shit my mustache is FINALLY coming in!

[tiny-turtle-man]

okay so turns out im really fucking good at sexting