tinydemondragon

[tinydemondragon]

Pocket bother of the other world, do you enjoy pangolins?

had to look them up but after looking at them, 10/10 very cute, stamp of approval

#oh geez wtf were my tags for this? #god knows ive been ignoring my inbox for Years #feel special ig #sidhkshd #draconic rumblings #or was it #dragon answers #idk some shit like that

[tinydemondragon]

I know this is not new information, but I've seen a fresh wave of people confused about what the fuck Andrew planned to do as a 5'0 man with a knife against the literal mafia, so.

I think the fact that neither Neil nor Kevin lost their faith in Andrew’s ability to protect them after he was attacked by Drake (unable to stand his ground against a single man with a bottle, let alone the Yakuza/Nathan with their guns) is the best proof we have that the deal was never about physical protection. This is confirmed by the way Neil never expects Andrew to save him from his father, in fact cuts him loose before Baltimore as soon as danger is truly near.

Andrew is a pretty self-aware character, and he wouldn't make promises he knows he can't possibly see through, so I think he knows what Kevin and Neil also know: what they need from him, and thus what he promises, is not physical protection.

To Kevin, he promises safety from the Moriyamas, and the way we see him enact that safety (at Kathy's show, at the banquet) shows exactly what it's about: when Riko starts getting into your head, when he makes you doubt yourself, makes you think maybe you should go back to Evermore, I won't let you. I will get you away from him, I will treat him like he's just some dude to remind you that you can face him without kneeling. I will be your spine until you find your own, I will stand my ground for you until you can do it yourself.

That's why the scene when Kevin gets to the dorm with his tattoo and Andrew's eyes show so much feeling is huge not just for Kevin but for Andrew: because that was the whole point of their deal, Kevin has found his spine, Andrew bought him the space and time to do it.

To Neil, he promises safety from the people hunting him down, and that means: I will give you something to build a life around (keys, drives to nightly exy practices, someone to lean on, someone who will listen without flinching). When you feel like running, I will be someone you can call to come pick you up. When you forget, I will remind you who you are: Neil Abram Josten.

Andrew stands between Kevin and Riko and between Neil and his father not as an impenetrable wall but as an obstacle in their vision: not shield but focal point.

(Makes me think of that scene in The Haunting of Hill House, Hugh holding Steven's neck to keep him from looking at the ghosts, saying, Look at me, just look at me, keep your eyes on me. That's what Andrew’s constantly doing --even literally, when Kevin is spiralling after Wymack tells the team about the district change and Andrew makes him look away from his broken hand and up at him).

#yes yes yes exactly this #tho id argue hes only as self aware as he allows himself to be #he lives in denial for himself #hes just ruthlessly pragmatic #aftg #queue make me smile

[tinydemondragon]

slaughter!melanie

#i think she should be allowed some murder #tma #queue make me smile

[tinydemondragon]

#i am hoping lynx gets contacted for something #i would like my partner Out Of There please #rb bait

[tinydemondragon]

🌸🌸🌸

#spiritfarer #i got attached :') #still letting her go was beautifully done #more bittersweet than just upset #she wanted to go #was ready to go #i just adore her sm

[tinydemondragon]

Best family in series actually

#sometimes family is a medicinecat who broke the code a kittypet turned warrior and a warrior who had an accident that made her a medicinecat #i love them :') #warrior cats

[tinydemondragon]

Child Soldiers

#hes directly responsible for so many cat deaths #but worst of all is all the poor kits #many of whom were proud to be child soldiers #who didnt know they were left for slaughter #they were just. so little. so tiny #truly a monster #warrior cats

[tinydemondragon]

Still kinda fond of my old AU where John survives the day of Story and Song and just kind of… becomes a more traditional traveling bard on Faerun because he’s simply too proud/embarrassed to just knock on Merle’s door and ask for forgiveness and a place to crash. The whole “he is better off without me so I shan’t bother him”. The full medieval minstrel “my unrequited love ennobles me, so I shall wander the lands singing my songs and yearn for what I cannot have” (it is not unrequited, John just kinda assumes this bc he loves a good wallowing)

#john hunger you absolute pathetic wet noodle of a man #i love you #taz balance #taz

[tinydemondragon]

i just love themes of religion and faith in stories, and there must be some meaning in merle trying to save john when pan is no longer there to save merle. and when merle loses faith in pan, he turns to john as his higher power.

#screams #theyre just so intertwined and bonded and it makes me raaaaaah #taz #taz balance #johnchurch

[tinydemondragon]

merle's entire plot in stolen century was him being like "i can fix him" and it worked

#and hes so real for that #taz #taz balance #johnchurch

[tinydemondragon]

Want to cry about Johnchurch today, because apparently I do

I think about… Lucretia could only erase what she could write down. And Merle was the only one who ever went into Parley. Merle was the only one who ever met John. And Merle (Clint) notoriously has a bad memory. Whatever recap he gave to the crew, and to Lucretia for her journals, was never going to be all that detailed.

(And I’m willing to wager, even out of what he did remember, he didn’t tell them ALL of it. Some of those moments were private.)

So Lucretia does her best, but her erasure of the Parley sessions is… spotty. Incomplete. Merle can’t remember WHO the man in a suit that he played chess with was, or what happened to him, or where he met him. But he remembers the man’s face, in snatches and moments. He remembers a tumbled mix of emotions—anger, exasperation, worry, hope, pain. Never fear. He remembers thinking he probably ought to be afraid, that most people would be, that it would make a lot more sense to be afraid. But fear was never quite the right description of what he felt, thinking of the man in the suit.

His memories of the man in the suit are… strange. Fractured. His head hurts if he tries to think about them for too long or too closely, if he tries too hard to remember, to put it back in context. But snatches of their conversation drift to him, across the years. Strange, sometimes incomprehensible snippets, where the words out of his own mouth don’t make any damn sense.

(This works, by the way, with the headcanon that Merle’s spotty memory occasionally spits out something backward, something ought-to-be-voidfished, like when he says in the first episode that he feels like he and Magnus and Taako have grown apart. There’s a little bit more of an opening, a little bit more of a handhold for the memories to pry their way back in, than there is for the others.)

And he knows—senses, remembers, intuits—that he shouldn’t tell anyone else about his memories of the man in the suit. He feels, with an almost violent certainty, utterly strange considering how vague his memories of the man himself are, that no one else would understand. So he stays quiet. The man lives in his head and his fogged memories, at once intrusive and comforting. The man was important to him, or is important to him still. Merle isn’t sure which one it is. He’s never been one to let himself get stuck on quandaries, theological, existential, physical, or otherwise, though, so he lets it be. He’ll meet the man again one day. He feels quite sure of that. In the right moment, and the right place, he’ll meet the man again, and something about his shambles of a life will click back into place.

The day of Story and Song happens, and everything rushes back, and the only moment of calm he gets for the next several hours is the near-silent goodbye on the beach, during which he and John do nothing but exist side by side, for a little while. It’s all either of them really want or are able to do. Anything else is too messy, too painful. This way, it ends in peace.

Everyone else—all the other members of the red robes—they will have time to reconcile, to work through piecing back together their shattered memories and disjointed lives. Merle will have time for a proper talk with Lucretia, for a joyful reunion with Lup. He’ll have time to sit down at a table with Davenport a week later and play euchre, until both of them, almost without warning, find that they’re both crying. He’ll have time to pull his kids onto his lap and tell them his own version of the Story, of how they fit into it. He’ll have time to puzzle his life back into a complete picture.

He doesn’t get time with John.

He’s walked around with a half-static memory of the man for a decade, and there’s no time to process the truth before they have to say goodbye.

No one else knew him. No one else will ever mourn him. Everyone else is celebrating his demise. If there’s grief, it’s only Merle’s.

His end is peaceful, by the shore, and silent, because Merle has no time to unpick all the things he wants to say.

That’s alright, though. They both know that’s alright. John’s been muddled too, if differently, unable to think clearly for years, crushed beneath the collective scream of The Hunger. It’s a blessing to have that moment of clarity and peace at all.

They don’t need to say anything. They both already know.

Still, it aches in Merle’s chest at night, sometimes, like the pain of his phantom arm, all the things he might have said and never did.

#screaming crying throwing up over these old men #taz #taz balance #johnchurch

[tinydemondragon]

he's a ten but he bursts into tears when taako first finds the umbrastaff bc he knows he'd hate himself for hurting his sister in death. he's a ten but he can't relisten to litch barry episodes without bawling. he's a ten but the "you see lup" monologue makes him curl up into the fetal position. he's a ten but any description of the umbrastaff acting "on its own" hits him like a punch to the gut. he's a ten but the words "arms outstretched" force him to sit down for a moment. he's a ten but "tell him 'this is for julia'" sends him into cardiac arrest. he's a ten but any music from the taz soundtrack stitches together some of his broken pieces. he's a ten but he'll fight you tooth and nail over a single bad word about Lucretia. he's a ten but the word parlay causes him to stumble. he's a ten but he relistens to balance from the beginning to feel something.

#mecore #taz #taz balance

[tinydemondragon]

With @staff 's recent post saying 1/4 of this site is LGBTQ going around, I'd like to see what the actual demographic is

So!

Please reblog for bigger sample size!

#polls

[tinydemondragon]

fun fact: in japan, two people riding on the same bike is explicitly romantic (and highly illegal)!

#crying and sobbing #sobbing and crying #setosugu #jjk

[tinydemondragon]

Glances

#them <3 #satosugu #jjk #queue make me smile

[tinydemondragon]

fun fact: in japan, two people riding on the same bike is explicitly romantic (and highly illegal)!

#crying and sobbing #sobbing and crying #setosugu #jjk

[tinydemondragon]

You know what I think is really cool about language (English in this case)? It’s the way you can express “I don’t know” without opening your mouth. All you have to do is hum a low note, a high note, then another lower note. The same goes for yes and no. Does anyone know what this is called?

#..... yeah i did lshsksjd #gen