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tloujm · 1 year

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Headcanon IV: Non-apocalyptic AU

Author’s Notes: I truly can go on and on with this scenario. Let me know if you want a pt. 2! Ended it at the day after Joel’s bday so it could be definitively in a universe where the fungus infection does not happen. Other than that, my usual disclaimer on these headcanons being in a shared universe do not apply here because this is an AU! I love a good AU because sometimes I love a character but not the settings or their circumstances. That make sense? Either way, hope you enjoy!

Joel meets you when Sarah is in Kindergarten

You become his neighbor by living in the same apartment building

Joel made Tommy take out the trash and while he was outside, spotted you moving out of a U-Haul by yourself

He was the first to introduce himself to you

Because Sarah was at school and Joel was off, Tommy ran back inside to recruit an extra pair of hands

Tommy had immediate plans to set the two of you up since Joel hasn’t dated since Sarah’s mom left

Joel wasn’t in the mood to help anyone move, but he also wanted an excuse to put his business textbook down

He quickly liked that you weren’t annoying like his brother

Joel has lived at that complex for a few years and never really spoke to his neighbors

He didn’t feel the need to

He kept to his life, which as a single dad with a blue collar job took all of his time, and let his neighbors keep to theirs

He would say hi and bye to you in passing at first

You would go over to borrow tools

He would offer to fix whatever you needed the tools for

Caved and bought a puppy since it was the only thing on his daughter’s Christmas list

Joel begins to vent to you about his unit being messy from the dog’s high energy and him not being potty trained

You offer to walk the dog and help train him when no one is home to

After several months, you become his closest neighbor

One day, Joel’s boss calls for him to come on site last minute for a construction emergency super early in the morning

Tommy was out of town for another construction job

He was the only person that he trusted to babysit Sarah after moving away from their parents

He never had a reason to distrust you since giving you a spare key to his place for the dog

You got through life so far never having babysat, but you saw the bags under Joel’s apologetic eyes after you opened the door

You couldn’t say no to him or Sarah

That morning, you made her breakfast and took her to school

Joel would try to not push Sarah on you when his job was being extra demanding, but every so often, he would ask and you would always oblige

After another several months, you were practically apart of the family

Tommy would keep pestering Joel to ask you out

Joel came home from work one day to relieve you

When he walked in the kitchen, he found you and Sarah making dinner together

At that moment, Joel decided to finally muster up the courage and shoot his shot

You made Joel a happy, happy man when you agreed to date

Sarah was also happy because she got to spend her free time running up and down the stairs of the complex to play in both your and his units

Joel knew that if he came home and she wasn’t there, she was safe with you

He would take a moment to decompress from his day and freshen up before skipping up the stairs to greet the two of you

Once your lease ends, you move in with them

Quickly decide that a two bedroom for 3 people and a dog is too cramped

Together, the two of you buy a nice two-story house

It was not too old, but old enough where it needed some fixing up before moving in

It was a family affair where Tommy and Joel did most of the work because of their skill set

And you kept Sarah out of their way and out of danger during the day while you helped Joel relax from all of the home and work construction that wore down his body at night

Despite their being a source of income from you too, Joel felt the pressure of now having a mortgage

Joel’s job didn’t seem worth it anymore as his boss became more demanding with no pay raise to match

You encouraged him to revisit the goal of creating his own construction business

You would stop at the library on the way home and get him some books to read on start-ups and upskilling

You eventually convince him to leave that boss and take a PT job at a hardware store so he could go to night school

Joel has no problem with you being the major bread winner, but he does sulk from time to time but tries his best to hide it about not feeling like the best father and boyfriend at the moment

Tommy helps him pay for a ring

Its nothing flashy, but he knows you’ll love it

After 4 years together, Sarah starts to consider you her other parent and calls you "mom”

It starts with her going to Joel right before Mother’s Day and asking him what he thought about it, worrying that you would reject the title and not see her as a daughter

Joel felt blessed to have you help raise his daughter and his heart melted when Sarah wanted to do something for you on that day

He pushes away her worries and helps her execute an entire day dedicated to you and being a family

In turn, Sarah helps Joel propose

The two of you decide to elope in favor of a big family vacation as the honeymoon

Tommy comes to chaperone Sarah while the two of you have alone time

You officially adopt Sarah

A picture of the two of you holding up the signed adoption papers hangs on one of the walls

As soon as the honeymoon is over, she starts BEGGING for a sibling

She was the only one in her small-town elementary school to not have a mom or siblings

She happily completed one goal and quickly moved onto the next

It took a year, but she got her wish

She wanted a brother, but got a sister

Joel was destined to be a girl dad

Middle name is Eleanor

Tommy breaks up with his girlfriend, leading him to move in with his brother and his family

He becomes a built-in manny

Walking the dog and/or the stroller quickly gets him back into the dating game

Sarah finds all of the women that he is talking to intriguing and helps him find a new girlfriend

Joel and Tommy go in on the construction business together

“Miller Bros. Construction”

Between the still energetic dog, the new business and a baby, Joel was noticeably adding some salt to the pepper on his head

Hair everywhere else was still dark brown

In two more years, Sarah surprises Joel by buying him a new watch for his birthday

You help her buy it, but ever the jokester, she claims that she earned the money herself by selling hard core drugs

The five of you all go out to eat for dinner

Joel wears a clean, black cotton button down tucked into dark blue jeans

All of you have cake back at the house

Sarah puts enough candles to match his age on the cake and calls him an old man inside his birthday card

You fall asleep in your bed after putting the baby down

Tommy snuck off in the middle of a movie that Joel and Sarah fell asleep on in the living room

Waking up to paid programs, Joel turned everything off and carried Sarah to bed

Everyone decided to turn his birthday into a long weekend trip

Joel didn’t want that much attention on him, but obliged when he saw his girls’ puppy eyes

Tommy Showed up at their house late the next morning

“C’mon now! We gotta hit the road ‘fore we run into this lunchtime traffic.” Tommy said as he walked into their house to start loading bags

Everyone agreed to take a road trip from Austin to a water park in Houston to beat the last bits of the Texas summer heat

#TLOU #TLOU II #TLOU 2 #The Last of Us 2 #the last of us #Joel Miller #the last of us joel #the last of us fanfic #the last of us headcanon #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller headcanon #joel miller x reader #Joel Miller x Fem!Reader #Modern AU #Modern AU headcanon #TLOU Modern AU #Joel Miller Modern AU #Alternate Universe

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tloujm · 1 year

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Headcanon III: Joel Being Soft

Author’s Notes: Not entirely based on original canon but also not AU. Based on the same universe as my multi-chapter series found in the masterlist. Definitely, don’t have to read all those chapters if you do not want, but I have a preface or prologue that gives the gist of the universe that I encourage to read if there’s any confusion.

Joel gets you gifts that may seem little, but are sentimental

They show you that he really knows and thinks about you

Has no problem crying in front of you

He seldom does, but after the dangerous coast to coast journey, he trusts that he can be vulnerable around you

His voice changes when he is in a softer mood

Its still deep but less gravelly and gruff

Its lighter and more smooth

Somehow his southern accent is thicker when he is softer

Joel looks 10 years younger: his eyes are more doe-y and some of the lines on his face just disappears. Lines that you thought were permanently there but are only there because of his resting serious face to ward off danger

Secretly loves the monthly community bonfires

It gives him a chance to get handsy under the blanket you two share

And he loves telling you campfire stories in your ear just for you

When in a goofy mood, he would tell you embarrassing stories about Tommy growing up

When he’s in a dom but still soft mood, he will tell you scary stories that will make you want to cuddle closer to him for protection

Either way, he will pull you in by wrapping his arm around you

Almost exclusively soft around his family members in private

The most soft around his children

Joel seldom sings, but has sung all of his children to sleep at least once

Sarah when she’d wake up from a bad dream

Ellie after they made up and she crashed at his house

Your and his baby whenever they were especially fussy at night and he didn’t want you to wake back up and worry

Joel can now casually share memories about Sarah without feeling defensive around you

Cracking dad jokes that are actually funny

Sometimes

Though the ones that aren’t are still meaningful because he genuinely wants to see you laugh or at least smile

His hand often looks for yours

He is not the biggest fan of PDA, but his hands are always hungry for you in some sort of way

In the very least, he will let his fingers caress yours for a long moment while walking side by side before finally entangling them

His thumb will almost always linger on some part of your body to draw circles as a reminder that his is there

Has never verbalized it, but he loves to cockwarm to stay physically connected to you

Will wash your hair if you two take a shower together

surprisingly good at scalp massages

But you make sure he cleans under his fingernails first

Acts like he doesn’t like to do fun things, especially in public, but he enjoys exploring and taking you to new places within reason

Loves to hike and enjoy nature

He will wake you up early to suggest an impromptu hike outside of Jackson to see the sunrise from a nice view point

Joel also surprisingly encourages movie nights and prioritizes the scavenging of new movies

Will actually put effort into date nights

Even the most casual dates require some sort of planning and he puts detail into all of them until its your turn

While it feels weird to have no plans for the day, he enjoys taking his time gazing at you to commit your entire being to memory

One time and only one time, you caught him making funny faces at himself in the bathroom mirror while getting ready for the day

He thought you were still asleep

His ideal pass time is to rock in his chair on the front porch at sunset with you by his side

If his hands aren’t busy playing the gee-tar, they are caressing your thigh

He is listening to the laughs of his kids inside the house with a smile, knowing that they are safe and sound with him

After years of living in Jackson, he just pretends to be grumpy for continuity and because he knows you secretly love it

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tloujm · 1 year

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Headcanon II: Joel’s Hobbies vs Shared Hobbies

Author’s Notes: Not entirely based on original canon but also not AU. Based on the same universe as the multi-chapter series found in the masterlist. Definitely, don’t have to read all those chapters, but I have a preface or prologue that gives the gist of the universe that I encourage to read if there’s any confusion.

Joel:

Joel hardly relaxes in the sense of doing absolutely nothing; only when he’s sleeping

He HAS to keep his hands busy

Joel’s favorite thing to do when he is alone with free time is to play his guitar

The ol six string

He likes to start with a familiar song that he learned a long time ago, then turns it into something that he makes up on his own

He’ll start singing when he knows that he’s truly alone

Joel’s no longer shy about you hearing his voice, but has the most confidence when no one is around

Used to sing for his daughter when she was a baby

Loves woodwork as well

It was a hobby that he picked up when he was a teen in workshop class but soon had to put it on the backburner when he became a teen dad with Sarah

To provide for his young family, he rekindled his interest of it and got into carpentry

Before the outbreak, Tommy encouraged him to branch out on his own and start his own construction business

Now, he makes little things here and there like sculptures and toys for kids at the daycare

He accepts commissions to do specific things from time to time, but really has the most desire to go with the flow and create what comes to mind

His passion project is creating a guitar from scratch

He finally accomplished it decades later and gifted it to you

You eventually pass it down to Ellie decades later when you are old

He collects guns

Not a large collection by far, just a wooden box with a lock with his favorite revolvers.

Didn’t pick up this hobby until after he settled in Jackson

Before Jackson, guns were just as disposable as the ammo used in them

He takes good care of his little collection, now having the time to properly clean and polish them

The muscle memory of it all is therapeutic for his hands

Together:

Baking

It’s not something Joel enjoys doing by himself at all. You HAVE to be involved for it to keep his interest

Collecting DVDs when scavenging for movie nights

playing checkers or backgammon

Teaching Ellie how to play various card games

Archery

You get Joel into this as an alternative to guns just in case he ever runs out of ammo

He thinks it’s gonna be easy peasy; just point and pull, but he soon learns that there is strategy to it

He is proud of you when he sees how much more honed your skill is to his

The two of you go outside Jackson’s walls to practice together

#the last of us #tlou #the last of us 2 #tlou joel #joel miller #joel x reader #the last of us fanfic #the last of us joel #tlou 2 #joel miller x reader #joel miller x fem!reader #Joel Miller x GN!Reader #tlou headcanon #joel miller fanficiton #joel miller headcanon

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tloujm · 1 year

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Headcanon I: Yandere

Warnings: Yandere is an archetype that defines a character whose love, admiration, and devotion is so strong that it can be expressed through forms of obsession and possessiveness.

Author’s Notes: I truly do not believe that Joel has a Yandere personality. He has some traits that may fit the archetype, but not enough for it to be consistently considered Yandere. Though Yandere is ultimately toxic, and he is ultimately a toxic man, I somehow like reading them and figured I’d stray off the path of canon once more to do one for him. Honestly, I feel like this is tame compared to some of the yandere I’ve read in the past. This is all based in the same universe as the main storyline that I JUST realized that I never created a title/name for.

Ship: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Joel is all about survival. It stemmed from not letting his daughter’s death be in vein, then it just became a habitual instinct. When you came into his life, it became this intense drive.

Admittedly, he didn’t trust you at first, but when he finally let his walls down, they never came back up at least for you

Surviving to Joel means having the “either its you or me” mentality and he almost always chooses you over anybody else, even himself

Joel is 100% ok with sacrificing his life for yours

He would for sure take a bullet for you in a heartbeat

It’s just a cherry on top that he knows that you would do the same for him.

On one hand, he wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with you, so he will make sure that the both of you survive

But on the other hand, he believes that he will see his daughter again if he dies and what better way to get there than to save you

Especially since he couldn’t use his life to save Sarah

He only survives for you

You are his reason

The same reason that he asks you to search for when you get mad at him for taking you away from the fireflies

You never told him what your reason was, but he desperately wanted you to say that it was him

His brother is a bonus reason once they reunite in Jackson

Ironically, he becomes more protective over you when the two of you decide to stay at the settlement.

Outside of Jackson’s walls, he needed you. He tried his best to do everything for you: shoot, sneak around, escape, etc...but he had to admit that he probably wouldn’t have made it out of some situations without you.

Within Jackson’s walls, it was easier to make sure that you were safe, but he still knew that there were dangers.

The number one danger that he anticipated was getting too comfortable

Baring the surname Miller, he became a well known citizen of the settlement

Joel used this to his advantage and made sure he kept eyes on you at all times through his connections

There was very little that you could hide from him at the end of the day

Joel tried not to let anything suspicious get to him, but he is more of an act first, think second kind of man

This would sometimes lead to arguments

Especially when you first find out about this and how long it’d been going on for

He’s done a good job at keeping all of that away from you and it takes you a while to catch on

He knew that you’d consider it spying instead of how he intended, care and protection.

Insists on giving you guitar lessons when he is in a lighthearted mood

Or when he knows that you are mad at him and he wants to say sorry

Despite how he comes off, he has an incredible amount of patience for those he cares about and is willing to take the time to teach you things

The two of you fall into a relationship without formally defining it

During your journey, before making it to Jackson, the two of you never got intimate. There were implications of romance, but there was never an appropriate time or place to act on it.

Once in Jackson, Joel was tired of dancing around the matter and took control of it

As soon as the two of you were left alone again by Tommy and Maria, he caressed your cheek in his hand and confessed his feelings with brevity

His vows were simply “I am yours and you are mine”

With the famous Joel glare gaze

He waited for you to agree

And luckily for the both of you, you did

He made sure that the two of you didn’t separate by having you live with him

He never stepped over your boundaries physically

As aforementioned, he has an abundance of patience and waits until you are comfortable enough to share a bed with him

As soon as you do, Joel is all in

His arms are wrapped around you

When he moves in his sleep, which is rare bc he sleeps like a rock, you move with him to keep the same locked position

Practically has a heart attack when he wakes up to a cold empty bed

Doesn’t consider himself a deep sleeper, but somehow you still manage to escape his grasp for one reason or another throughout the night without him noticing

Joel responds by laying a leg over yours to hold you in tighter

One of the first reasons why he feels the need to keep eyes on you

Wanna sign up for scavenging or patrol routes? Only if he has the time to sign up for the same ones you do.

Wanna work in the community gardens? Joel’s not afraid to get his hands dirty.

Want peace and quiet with the watch tower duty? He’ll be up in the tower first waiting for you to show up to your SHARED shift.

You asked if he ever got tired of you from being around you all day

Joel: “No” *continues to sip his coffee casually*

He knocks on the bathroom door if he feels that you are taking an excessive amount of time to check on you

Yes, he genuinely misses you, but he also wants to make sure that you haven’t suddenly died on him.

His protectiveness over you, before it got overbearing in Jackson, is what initially caused you to have feelings for him.

He is a possessive lover which has enough pros to keep you going, but definitely has its cons

As a private man, Joel is not into PDA

But he will do so if he feels his relationship is being threatened by an outside force

The most PDA he will do on a regular basis is keeping his hand on you at all times

Not necessarily hand holding, but keeping his hand on your lower back, back of your neck or your waist.

Sometimes, his fingers would dig into your skin to pull you closer to him

He would never harm or put his hands on you, but he left marks

A lot of marks especially after a pretty spicy night

As a private man, he likes the marks to be in places that he could only see

Every so often, he would let you leave the house with clear and visible marks even if there are no direct threats, just as a gentle reminder to anyone who is interacting with you in general.

He prefers his mouth or hands over anything to mark you; no ropes or other extra toys

Also in private, he loves to cuddle

He loves that you enjoy the weight of his entire body on top of yours

He especially loves it when you wrap your legs around his waist to pull him in closer than he thought he already was

Despite this, he makes sure that he doesn’t fall asleep in this position as he is afraid of suffocating you

He, instead, prefers to have you lay on him

Not just next to him with your head on his chest or an arm slung over

He wants your entire body on top of his like a weighted blanket too

Part of his obsession infatuation intoxication with you is because of your natural scent. Your pheromones if you will

Yours in particular drive him crazy in a way he’s never felt

The source is your sacred middle which is why there is never a dull moment in your and his sex life

Even in non sexual ways, he loves being around your pussy

cockwarming

Joel likes to lay his head on your fupa/lower stomach for the soft warmth and to easily take in your scent from the close proximity

If he’s not in a position to be touching you, he very often has his own eyes on you

He’ll offer up his special Joel glare that he saves just for you (barely any different from his usually glare)

While Joel is more serious than playful, he likes to turn it into a game by seeing you fight the urge to meet his gaze and to see how long it takes before you do so

He always gets jealous but is good at controlling it if the two of you are near each other and you are not giving him at least an once of attention.

Joel has a desire to protect you from unseen forces too, like colds or the flu, but doesn’t beat himself up when he fails to do so

He takes advantage of the times that you are sick because he gets to keep you all to himself in the house

Joel will put his foot down about not being able to work his patrol shifts because he’s too busy caring for you

Joel finds himself conflicted between not wanting to see you in pain and having you be completely dependent on him.

He’s also conflicted about getting you pregnant

He doesn’t want more kids for various “practical” reasons

Afraid of feeling guilt over replacing Sarah

Taking his energy away from protecting you to protect someone else

Afraid he may become too soft to protect either one of you by being wrapped around the babies finger

But he also wants kids with you for various reasons

One of his favorite ways to mark you is internally with his cum

The heavier you grow with his child, the more dependent you’ll need to be of him and it’ll be longer than a cold

He’ll convince you to be a stay at home mom, so he wouldn’t have to worry about the whereabouts of two separate people as the child would always be with you.

A child would most likely encourage you to stay within the settlement’s walls

He’ll try to convince you to want a child too

If you are not ready for one, he will be super patient and bring it up every so often to see if your answer has changed

At the end of the day, he has lost too much in his life and he will do everything in his power not to lose you either

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tloujm · 1 year

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Part XXXVI: Hello?

Author’s Notes: First of all...🎄Merry Christmas🎄I hope this is a nice little gift to finish off the night. This is the extent of my backlog, so now I will be writing some more chapters from scratch to further along this angst plot line that I’ve now committed to. In the mean time, I do have some finished HC’s in the drafts and might just post one tonight or tomorrow as a bonus present.

Also can you tell that I’m skirting pregnancy sex. I haven’t written smut in a LONG time and while I’ve been reading it, it’s always still different to write it. I also feel like pregnancy sex in particular is more delicate to write. I might still do it but I don’t know...We’ll see how confident I feel on that front.

Genre: Fluff with a side of angst

Summary: You are introduced to Theresa in an unconventional way. You and Joel eat pizza, talk about Ellie moving in, and flirt a little.

Ship: Joel x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Joel came home to find you in bed sleeping earlier than usual. He was itching to tell you about Theresa, but figured it could wait until tomorrow afternoon. He knew that you waking up as early as him was wishful thinking, so it solidified his plans to tell you after his patrol shift. He just rubbed your belly before crouching down to leave a chaste kiss on your forehead before leaving for the day.

A few hours later, you got up to start a lazy morning routine. It began by turning the bowling ball strapped around your middle to the edge of the bed; that took a solid two minutes on its own. The next sensation was to pee. This had to happen within 30 seconds of getting out of bed or there’d be a mess. While in the bathroom, you usually took care of your other basic needs. Mirrors weren’t your favorite thing at this stage in the game, so you tended to just walk around the second floor of the house while you brushed your teeth.

Stopping dead in your tracks, your head turned in the direction of faint radio static. You stood quietly in the middle of the upstairs hallway, waiting patiently to hear it again. It took several long moments, but it happened again. You deduced that it was coming from Joel’s ham radio in his craft room. Because he worked with a lot of wood, he left it covered with a scrap of fabric to avoid dust, so you often forgot that it was even there. You couldn’t remember the last time that thing was used. He taught you how to use it in emergencies, but walkie talkies have been your family’s go to.

As quickly as you could, you waddled to the bathroom to spit. Through the running water of the sink, you heard more than just static this time. Panic surged through your body as you waddled back toward the room. You unmistakingly heard your name as you got closer. The voice was unrecognizable. You weren’t unfamiliar with supernatural things and, unlike Joel, you gave it some weight. Your mind immediately went to a ghost because you racked your brain and could not place that unique voice. You tried to rationalize that it was possible there were people you hadn’t met within the settlement. Regardless, you were nothing more than curious. Carefully, you sat down and uncovered the radio.

You picked up the attached microphone. “Hello?”

“Hi!” A staticky reply emitted.

“How are you?” You didn't know what else to say; it was your default response.

“I am well. The question is how are you?”

“Um, good I guess. I’m sorry, who is this and how do you know me?” You sat there anxiously waiting for the answer.

The woman, Theresa, explained everything that Joel told her. Honestly, you were a bit peeved with him for not talking to you about this first; it was unlike him. You were very skeptical about her identity, but you had to admit that you enjoyed talking to her. Initially, you weren’t in the mood to socialize, but for a detached voice, she was very warm and inviting. She brought you out of your comfort zone and asked you about things you hadn’t answered in a while, things you didn’t know the answer to. After an hour or so, Theresa excused herself to check on her daughter. Those moments to yourself made you contemplate that what she was doing was soon to be your reality; it was all very surreal.

After the radio had gone silent for several moments, you pressed the button on your microphone and told her that if she was too busy, they could always chat again another time. Theresa wholeheartedly agreed. From there, you kept yourself busy around the house until Joel got home.

*****

“Baby, I’m home.” Joel shouted after closing the front door. “I brought lunch if you’re hungry.” He heard your footsteps approach him.

“Hey.” You stopped at the foot of the stairs. He watched you for a moment to see if you’d go further and hug him. Yet again, it was wishful thinking. He just had to keep being patient. “What did you get?”

“The bakery made pizza today.” Joel watched your eyes light up.

“What kind?”

“Venison and mushroom. How does that sound?”

“Sounds delicious!” You finally approached him to grab the box. Your hands brushed his. If the contact affected you, Joel didn’t notice. He took another moment to watch you nonchalantly set the box down onto the kitchen counter. It was one thing for him to initiate physical contact, but for you to do that, even unintentionally, offered a warm feeling through his body. “I’ll plate ‘em.”

“How was your day?”

“Oh you don’t know?”

“You implyin’ that I spy on you now?” His brow quirked up.

“Well, unless Theresa is a spy feeding you information to make sure I’m being a good girl…”

Joel choked on the water he poured for himself. “(Y/N), don’t do that. I’m just looking out for you. Now, Theresa—”

“Wait, so she is your spy?”

“No! That’s ridiculous.” He gazed at you in disbelief for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh. “I just want you to feel better so I figured you might like talking to someone who can relate. You know I’m always here for you, but sometimes I feel like, no matter how much I try, I can’t support you the way that you need to be supported.” He watched your eyes break contact and fall to your feet. “I only spoke to her yesterday about this before I came home. You were already asleep, so I planned on telling you over dinner.”

“Oh.”

“She called the radio already?”

“Yeah. Hadn’t used that thing in so long, I almost forgot how to work it.” You chuckled.

“Good practice then.” He chuckled too before trying another sip of water. “How’d it go?”

“She’s nice. I think I really liked talking to her.”

Joel’s brows raised. “That’s good! You gonna meet her in person next or stick to the radio?”

“Probably the radio a couple more times, but I think it’d be nice to have her and her daughter over for dinner one day. Maybe they’ll grow up together and be friends.” You shrugged as you clasped your hands under your belly.

“Speaking of growing up together, there’s something else we should talk about.”

“What is it?” You asked through a full mouth.

“It’s about Ellie.” You nodded, encouraging him to continue. “We’ve had her over for dinner and movies plenty of times now. I give her ridin’ lessons and you see her all the time at the daycare. We took her on that trip. So, you’d say we’re all pretty close, right?”

“Yeah.” You answered promptly. “As close anyone can get with her. She’s been making real good progress.”

“How do you feel about her being here more often? Like staying here? She’s gotten real comfortable around us and it’d help relieve Wendy a bit at the daycare. No one’s volunteered to take her in yet and we have the means to do it. We can give her a real home.” He looked at you with dough eyes. You loved it when he looked at you that way. It made him look so soft and vulnerable; so real. After a year of seeing his face grimace and furrow during the cross country trek, being able to witness other sides of him was a treat. It definitely softened you up, though you didn’t need to be to answer him.

“I think that’s a really good idea. I’d love to have her around more. I know she’s gotten used to her environment there since arriving in Jackson, but she’s getting older and may want her own room and stuff. So, are you talking about spending the night then going back or moving in?”

“Whatever she’s comfortable with. I was thinkin’ we can have her over for dinner this week and talk about it together.”

“Joel.”

“Mmm.” He answered, mouth full.

“Are you ready for this?”

He immediately knew what you meant by this. While he wasn’t in the mood to talk about Sarah or his feelings in general, he loved how in sync the two of you were for him to get your question. “Ellie is not Sarah; I know that.” He cleared his throat as a way to stall. “All I’m sayin’ is that, you don’t stop being a dad no matter what. She doesn’t have one at the moment…And I’m not sayin’ I’ll replace hers just like she won’t replace my Sarah, but if she’s ok with someone teachin’ her things and worryin’ over her and making sure she’s happy and healthy, then,” He shrugged. “I can do that.”

“Well if there’s one thing I learned from being with you is that you got enough love and worry to go around.” You joked. He grumbled in response to your observation. “How about tomorrow? If you’re not busy, we can have her over and see how she feels.”

“I’ll be back in time for dinner. Matter of fact, I’ll pick her and some food up on my way home.”

“You want me home all day now, remember? I can cook dinner and have it ready around four o’clock.”

“Don’t make it sound like I’m holding you hostage.”

“You did kidnap me before.” You said under your breath but he still heard.

“When did I kidnap you, (Y/N)?”

“The fireflies didn’t want me to leave.”

He sighed at the F word. “You were not there’s to keep, especially under false…Why are we talking about this, (Y/N)?” You shrugged. You forgave him for what he did, but still felt like he should be reminded every so often. “Makes me feel like you’re not going to like what else I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Fuck me, that’s not a good start. What is it?”

“I want Dr. Carson to come see you again.”

“What, why? I just had a check up with him and everything was fine.”

“That was 15 days ago and now you’re in your third trimester. He may need to give you a physical based on, you know, third trimester standards. Make sure everything’s on the right track.”

You sighed in annoyance despite knowing he was right. “Yes, sir.”

Joel quirked a single eyebrow as he wiped his mouth. “I’m sir now? I think I like that.” He flashed you a flirtatious smile.

Playfully, you rolled your eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“What if it already has?”

“Oh my goodness, what have I done?” You took the plates and put them in the sink.

“You’ve always had a way with words.”

You chuckled. “I made that cake that we were supposed to make the other day. Want a slice?”

“If you keep messin’ around and spoilin’ me, darlin’, I’m just gonna have to show you how much more I can spoil you.” You stood in front of him, bump and plump face in full view, and he still flirted with you like he did a few years ago. You tried to deny it, but you were getting turned on. Your cheeks hardly ever blushed, but still your skin felt hot as his eyes stayed on you. “Now I done embarrassed you, huh, darlin’? I wish you wouldn’t shy away from me like that.”

“Umm…” You looked around everywhere but him. You don’t remember the last time you felt so flustered around him. It’s usually you calming others down when Joel flusters people with his antics. “How about we go upstairs?”

Joel’s smile grew. He simply stretched out his hand and waited for you to take it. Before the two of you began to climb the stairs, he turned back around and jogged into the kitchen. “Almost forgot this. We can share.” He gestured to the slice of cake.

I still got it, Joel thought to himself and his hand ghosted the small of your back. He was a step behind you, watching you as you walked up the rest of the way. Joel was admittedly proud of his flirting skills. Though he was excited to see how much further he could go with you, he was more than happy to do exactly what he did last week.

He sat the plate down on the nightstand before going to close the shades. He knew you liked it as dark as possible; it was the only way you could enjoy it at the moment. He promised himself that he wouldn’t stop working on your confidence, but knew you only responded to baby steps.

You sat up on the bed as you waited for him to come back. Your heart rate quickened as you felt the familiar dip on his side of the mattress. He was surprised to feel that you had already removed your shirt. He mirrored your actions as his desire to have skin to skin contact burned through him. He slid further to you, not enough to touch, but enough to feel the heat radiating off of you. He laid his palm flat between your breasts and slowly slid it further down until he met the peak of your bump. He kept rubbing around until he felt some kicks. Just as before, his eyes became glassy. The two of you stayed like that until you fell asleep.

#TLOU #TLOU 2 #TLOU II #The Last of Us #The Last of Us II #Joel Miller #Joel TLOU #TLOU Joel #TLOU Joel Miller #The Last of Us Joel Miller #Joel Miller x Reader #Joel Miller x Fem!Reader #Joel Miller fanfic #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #joel tlou fanfiction #reader insert

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tloujm · 1 year

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Part XXXV: New Things

Author’s Notes: Sorry I didn’t get a chance to put this up on Friday like I wanted to. I have a general idea on the direction that I want this storyline to go, which is different than before. The thing about it is that if I continue, it won’t end as soon as I originally anticipated. I’m going to be taking a trip in January, so I will be offline a lot, but to make up for not putting out full chapters, I’m thinking about making headcanons that fit within this universe to fill the time in between.

Genre: Angst with a side of Fluff

Summary: Joel gives Ellie a horseback riding lesson and has a talk with Wendy. He meets a newish member of Jackson.

Ship: Joel x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

“Don’t let go.” Ellie spoke up, fear laced in her voice.

“I won’t. Trust me, ” Joel replied quickly. “But most importantly, trust the horse.”

Joel was holding onto the reins of a young horse that Ellie was riding on. She only had a few lessons with the rest of the kids from the daycare prior to this private one with Joel. You and Wendy both agreed that since she was getting more comfortable with Jackson, that she may be ready to take on a hobby and what hobby was more useful than horseback riding. Joel really liked the idea as well. Regardless of if she started working routes or not, taking care of a horse taught a sense of discipline and responsibility.

In the months since he learned her name, she’d been using her voice a lot more, but mostly to get by rather than to express her personality. Therefore, it was moments like these that Joel really soaked in. Even if it was through fear, at least he knew he was witnessing the real Ellie. He was confident enough in not only his own skill level, but her connection to the horse to feel that she’d be ok.

When she had her lessons with the rest of the kids, they all used well trained horses that were borrowed from other owners. This time, Joel wanted to make sure that she had her own so she could grow a connection and really get accustomed to the skill set. The first half of her first private lesson was spent picking out the horse. He was ok if it took her a long time to do so; the decision was more based on feeling than logic.

The one she chose was not as trained up as Joel would have liked, but it was young and gentle; He figured they could grow together. This was one of the first horses Jackson had successfully bred. The settlement had been able to acquire such a large herd over years of trading and taming from the wild. It wasn’t until a year back when a pair of veterinarians began calling Jackson their home did the stable become a breeding ground. Joel’s goal was to get Ellie comfortable with riding first, then introduce the two of them to safe locations beyond the wall so they could experience riding in different terrain.

“This one.” She said just above a whisper. Joel got off the pile of hay he settled on about a half hour back.

“Yeah? You sure?” He looked down at her. She nodded back up with confidence. “Good choice.” He moved into the stall to quickly examine the young animal. “Looks like a male. I think the vet said this one was a Morgan and American Quarter mix…Lemme check here…” He pulled out the clipboard hanging from the stall door.

“Is that good?”

He chuckled a bit. “Mmhmm, that’s good. Now Ellie, don’t it look like he needs a name?”

“He doesn’t have one yet?”

“His chart doesn’t show one. Probably because he’s still young.” He let her look at the clipboard with the worn out paper attached. She hardly understood the stats that the vet scribbled on there, but what she did notice was the blank next to the name row.

“Hmmm…” She timidly approached the horse even more by entering the stall. Joel moved out to give the two of them space. She examined him like a judge at a tournament. “How about Shimmer? His fur is so shiny.” It was evening, so the only light came from overhead in the stable. “I bet he shimmers in the daylight like the vampires from those comics! I can’t wait to take him out and see!”

“Shimmer?”

“What’s wrong with ‘Shimmer’?”

Joel scratched the back of his neck. “Nothing…I just uhh…didn’t know vampires shimmered.”

“Some think they just burn to ash in daylight, but that’s a myth. They just shimmer. At least that’s how the story goes.”

“Huh, didn’t know that. But, Ellie, that’s a male and names are kind of permanent.”

“No they’re not. If he doesn’t shimmer in the daylight like I thought he would, I’ll need to think of something else, but I think it suits him.”

Joel just gave a curt nod of acceptance. “As long as it suits him and you like it.”

The lesson lasted for a total of two hours. After one more lap around the training ground, Ellie and Joel decided to call it quits just in time for lunch. Their walk back to the daycare was mostly silent, but he made sure to tell her how good she did.

While Ellie quickly ran off to get some food, Joel stuck around to look for Wendy. He thought it’d be safe to do so today since he convinced you this morning to take the day off. He was eager to get back to you, but had some business to take care of first.

“Hey, Wendy, got a moment?” Joel stood at the door of her office and gave a quick knock before she beckoned him inside. She sat her pencil down as he closed the door behind him.

“How was the lesson?” She inquired.

“It went really well. I was hoping to make it a weekly thing.”

“That sounds wonderful, but if it went well, then I’m assuming that is not what you really wanted to talk about.”

“Uh no.” He wiped his hand across his beard before sitting down across from her desk. “How’s (Y/N) been when she comes here?” Wendy looked confused, so Joel elaborated. “Does she ever seem tired or out of it?”

“There were days where she’d seem more unlike herself than others, but she kept carrying on. I suggested she take more breaks or go home early, but she refused. I would have made her leave anyway, but we’d been short staffed lately and of course that happens when we get an influx of kids and she’s so good with them too; obviously you know how much progress Ellie’s made with her.”

“There’s no one else? ‘Cause my wife needs rest. I worry about her.”

“I worry about her too,” She noticed Joel’s glare didn’t falter. “Nowhere near as much as you, but close. And I know she’ll need time after she gives birth of course. Joel, I work on staffing all day. Either no one wants to do it or the ones who have the time aren’t qualified. I know I’m not in the place to be picky, but you should see the people who volunteer. We train and most do their best but, frankly, I don’t trust them alone with the kids and I don’t have time to supervise all the time when I’m needed elsewhere. I give them other work like maintenance, but I still need someone like…I need about 3 clones of (Y/N) quite honestly. At this point, I’m bribing the older kids with more snack rations to help me out with the younger ones.”

Joel chewed on the inside of his cheek as he contemplated. “I can take Ellie more.”

“Ellie’s been the least of my worries lately. For her age, she’s very independent and well behaved despite what she’s gone through. I give full credit to you and (Y/N) on that. And listen, every little bit helps, so I think everyone would benefit from you spending more time with her outside the daycare. As a matter of fact, have you thought about possibly fostering her? The three of you already have such a strong bond, but you can start with something temporary to gauge how everyone feels; baby steps.”

“What do you suggest?”

“Very similar to how foster care was before. She’ll move in, you and (Y/N) will receive the rations that I do to take care of her. Then, keep doing what you’re already doing with her.”

“We’re about to have a baby. I don’t think now is exactly the best time.”

“When are things in life ever good timing? But like I said, baby steps. Maybe have her just spend the weekends. She can help keep (Y/N) company when you’re away.”

“I’ll talk to (Y/N) about it when I get back. Even if all of that works, that’s just one kid. That barely alleviates our issue.”

“I understand that. Please trust that I am working on this expeditiously.”

“Well,” He sighed. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help with that.” Joel got up to leave, but turned back around before his hand reached the door knob. “My wife still needs help, Wendy. Help I don’t think I can give her.” His famous Joel glare disappeared and was replaced with a look of vulnerability. “Could you maybe…talk to her? From mom to mom? She has a lot of anxiety about the birth and afterwards. She told me…um…she said that she doesn’t feel connected to the baby.”

“I could talk to her, but I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to if she stays home and I’m almost always here. This is a serious matter, however. I believe with some extra attention and care, she’ll overcome this.” Wendy reached into her desk drawer for a scrap piece of paper. “Here, I’m going to write you down the address of someone who I think can better help (Y/N) than me. Her name is Theresa. She joined Jackson just earlier this year. I heard that a scouting group found her wandering with a newborn baby wrapped around her with a sling. They took her back here. I spent some time with her to see if she needed help caring for her child. She refused which was completely understandable; trusting strangers in this world with your most prized possession. I try to check in on her every so often so we won’t just stay strangers, but admittedly, it's been a while.”

Joel took the slip of paper. “I’ve never heard of her.”

“She keeps to herself. Just her and her baby in a small house on the other side of the settlement. She’s definitely been traumatized in some sort of way, but maybe her experiences were similar to (Y/N)’s.” Wendy noticed his hesitancy. “It’s worth trying at least. Maybe they can both find a friend in each other.”

“Thanks and uh, if you could keep this conversation between us? At least for right now. I don’t want (Y/N) thinkin’ I’m goin’ over her head or somethin’.” Joel asked to which Wendy nodded sympathetically.

Joel’s next mission was to find out more about Theresa. If he’d never heard of her, Tommy definitely would have. He made his way over to the stables after calling his brother on the walkie. He wanted to catch him before he went out on his route. During the walk, he wondered how this went under his radar; he thought he knew all of the citizens.

“Does the prodigal brother return for more marital advice?” Tommy asked, barely turning his head in Joel’s direction as he continued to prep his horse.

“Not exactly.”

“What’s got you in a tizzy then?”

“Who is Theresa,” Joel looked back down at the slip. “Porter?”

“What happened? Did she do something?”

“So you know her?”

“Yeah.” Tommy shrugged nonchalantly.

“Who is she, Tommy? What’s her backstory? How did she get here?”

“She’s a woman that Dean found ‘bout a year back while his group was out looking for new checkpoints. She seemed distraught and in need, especially with an infant. Joel, that baby had to have only been a month old if that. They examined her and found her to be of no threat; there was no set up, no nothing. Maria was notified and she gave them clearance to bring her back. She personally escorted Theresa to the infirmary to check on her and the baby. She also set them up in a house on Pine avenue because it’s kind of secluded. She figured, at least, as a trial home just in case she did pose a danger later on. It worked out for her because she seemed introverted anyway. Like I said, that was a year ago and we haven’t had any trouble from her at all. She contributes to the community garden and such, so she does her part. Maria is the one who checks up on her.”

“Where’s Maria?”

“Busy.” Out of habit, Joel’s glare reappeared on his face, but out of everybody it had the least effect on Tommy. “Maria wouldn’t be able to tell you more than I just did, so there’s no sense in botherin’ her ‘bout it. Now, what’re you askin’ ‘bout Theresa for?”

“I took your advice about me and (Y/N),” Joel began. Tommy finally looked at him eagerly.

“And?”

“We made progress. We did something together and we talked. It really helped.”

“‘Thank you, Tommy’.” The younger brother impersonated Joel with a slightly stronger drawl and deeper voice. He flashed the famous glare, to which Tommy laughed.

“Despite that, (Y/N) needs help. I’ve supported her as much as I know how.” Joel began helping Tommy prep the horse as he talked. “I just got back from the daycare. I asked Wendy if she could talk to her, like girl talk, but she suggested Theresa would be better.”

“Oh, I see.”

“I didn’t know anything ‘bout this Theresa. Why is that, Tommy?”

“Don’t get your cowboy briefs in a bunch. It’s not like I intentionally hid her existence from you. It just didn’t seem like a big deal. You had just gone on your honeymoon and were away from the settlement when that happened. She wasn’t a danger, so it slipped my mind after you got back.”

“Is there anyone else I don’t know about here in Jackson?”

Tommy shrugged. “Probably a few. Listen, they’ve all either been vetted by me or Maria. You don’t need to worry yourself over every single thing that happens here. You’re about to be a dad again, you help out with Ellie a lot, and frankly, you’re an ol’ fogey; You need to start taking it easy.” Tommy tried to keep a serious face but couldn’t help the snickering. Joel scooped up a bunch of hay on the pitchfork and tossed it at him. “Hey!”

Just like they did when they were kids, the Miller brothers playfully roughhoused in the stable. It only lasted for a few solid minutes as their worn bodies couldn’t handle it like they used to. When the straw settled on the floor, Tommy finished mounting his horse and Joel took off to his next destination.

“Hello?” A woman peaked her head through the crack of the front door.

“Are you Theresa Porter?” The deep, southern voice questioned.

“Who’s asking?”

“I’m Joel Miller and—”

Theresa straightened up and opened the door a bit wider. “You’re the other Miller brother, huh? I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I wish I could say the same. But that’s why I’m here. Is now a good time to talk?” Joel glanced over her head and into the dark house. It was daytime, so it wasn’t weird to have all the lights off, but it still seemed unusually dark.

“Um sure, but what’s this about?”

“You’re not in trouble or anything. I just have a big favor; something you may be able to help me with. May I?” Joel gestured to go inside. She reluctantly let him in.

When he entered, she only turned on one lamp. “Sorry about the mess. Sometimes I just don’t get the time between work and the baby.” Joel grunted and nodded before sitting on her couch. He peered around, trying his best to be inconspicuous. One thing he noticed immediately was the lack of noise. It was dead silent in the house, though figured the child was asleep.

“Can I get you something to drink? I got…tap water.” Theresa offered.

“No, thank you.” Joel liked how hospitable she was. It was a nurturing trait that, as a mom, may help you come into your own.

Theresa came back around and sat across from Joel. “What did you want to talk about again?”

“My wife actually. I heard that you had a baby and my wife is about to delivery our first—”

“Congratulations!” Her demeanor pepped up; another thing Joel liked.

He cleared his throat before continuing. “Thank you. She’s been feeling lonely and just down lately and I think she could use a new friend; someone who can relate to her. How old is your son or daughter?”

“Daughter. She is 11 months old.” She stated proudly.

“Is this your first too?”

“Yeah, she’s my first. My Saoirse.”

“That’s a pretty soundin’ name.”

“Thank you. Her father named her; He’s Irish.”

“Where is he now? If you don’t mind me askin’?”

“We got separated a long time ago. I think about him everyday and hope to see him again. I hope that he gets to see his daughter again, but I had to put her first. I wanted to keep searching for him, but then your crew found me. I was grateful enough for some supplies, then I would’ve been on my way, but they offered to take me in. Jackson has been so inviting and you all are some of the kindest people I’ve met.”

Joel grunted and nodded in response. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He took a heavy pause while thinking about what he’d do if he ever got separated from Sarah. He counted himself as blessed that her face never showed up on the missing people’s segment of the news. “I hope you all find each other soon.”

“I hope so too. I wanted to wait until she got a bit older before we went out to find him, but things aren’t going by plan.” She looked away somberly.

“This winter is lookin’ to be on the harsh side. Bet you’re itchin’ to get out there, but best to wait til the frost is over.”

She looked back up at Joel. “Yeah. I just hope he’s found a place as good as Jackson to take shelter. We originally had plans to go southward, so maybe he’s in a warmer place.” She smiled to herself. “I’m in good spirits about it. I have to for our little one. We’ll be a family again soon.”

“We can help you when the time comes.”

Her eyes lit up. “I’d appreciate that. Now, your wife…”

“(Y/N) Miller.”

“(Y/N). How far along is she exactly?”

“28 weeks.”

“Ah yes, she’s getting close. I could give her some of Saoirse’s hand-me-downs. Some I knitted myself!”

“That sounds very nice. I’m sure she’d like that. If I can get my hands on some knitting supplies, would you maybe teach her how to? She’s restless and wants to keep busy, but some of the activities she does, I feel, are not good for our baby.”

“Oh, we don’t want that.” Joel nodded in agreement. “I would be happy to show her! We can talk and knit a blanket together!”

“That sounds good. If it helps, you can bring Saoirse ‘round too if you don’t have anyone to look after her. Your house is a bit far from ours and I don’t feel comfortable with her walking that far especially with it gettin’ slick out now.”

Theresa shifted in her seat. “Of course, that makes total sense. I can do house visits.” She chuckled. “She just got over a minor cold so…”

“Oh.”

“But I just found a solid babysitter, so it won’t be too much of a problem.”

Joel nodded and offered up a small grin. “It’s gettin’ late and I don’t wanna hold you. We can talk more when you come by; Maybe we can all have dinner soon. Do you mind?” Joel gestured to a paper and marker on her coffee table. Theresa shook her head. “This is the frequency channel we are on. Feel free to use the ham radio at the stable if you don’t have one to give us a heads up when you’re ready.”

“Thank you, Joel. It does get lonely as a single mom, so I think this will be a nice change of pace.”

He nodded with another small grin before tipping his imaginary hat. “Have a good night.”

#TLOU #TLOU II #TLOU 2 #Joel Miller #tlou joel miller #Joel Miller x Reader #Joel Miller x Fem!Reader #the last of us joel #the last of us joel miller #joel miller fanfic #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction

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tloujm · 1 year

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YOU UPDATED OMG MY CHRISTMAS WISH CAME TRUE THANK YOU SO MUCH

Merry early Christmas 🎄 I will update again tomorrow!!!

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tloujm · 1 year

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Part XXXIV: Prenatal II

Author’s Notes: Another installment as promised. I hope I’m doing these characters justice with their feelings. Whoever reads, I hope you like it! I’ll try to get another one queued up for next week.

Genre: Heavy Angst with a side of Fluff

Summary: Joel takes his brother’s advice and finds an activity for the two of you to do together. At first, its going well, then the atmosphere turns sour. You finally reveal what’s been bothering you. Joel tries to sympathize with and process your emotions.

Ship: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Joel unloaded the contents of his brown satchel onto the kitchen counter. First, it was the flour, then the sugar and eggs. Lastly, he took out the most important ingredient, a king size chocolate bar. He continued to move around the kitchen to prep the utensils when, as if on cue, you walked through the front door. It didn’t take long for you to follow the noise and find Joel. He turned to face you. An encouraging smile grew on his lips. For once, you didn’t look any more drained than you did when you first left the house. Maybe you were beginning to listen to him and take it easy. Still not at the point he wanted, but baby steps were better than nothing.

Silently, you asked what he was doing. “We’re going to make a cake together.” Joel simply uttered.

“Why?” You replied even more simply.

Joel shrugged. “Why not? I figured it’d be fun.”

“Mr. Texas finds baking fun?” You chuckled. It was dry but he noticed a bit of genuine humor.

“Mr. Texas was craving something sweet,” He tried to give you a subtly lustful look.

“Something sweet, huh?” You raised a brow while supporting your back.

“Mmhmm. And guess what flavor?” You hummed in question. Swiftly, he slid the chocolate bar off the counter and placed it in your hand. He stayed just as close to you and lowered his voice. “I know chocolate is your favorite, plus I heard it was something of an aphrodisiac.”

“Maybe another time, Joel, my back hurts.” You began to move out of the kitchen when he spoke up.

“I can massage it.” He stepped forward, about to ask where exactly it hurt.

“No.” You curtly responded. “Thank you though.”

Joel tried to mask a feeling of defeat until a new idea popped into his head. “Hold on.” He lifted a single finger before running to the living room to get a couple of couch pillows. “Try this.” He positioned them on the wooden kitchen chair before gesturing for you to take a seat. “I figured it would go nicely with the dinner I picked up for us, but there won’t be any cake until we put all of this together. Now, are you comfortable?”

You nodded but knew that he needed to hear it. “Yes.”

“Good. I'll bring the stuff over to you.”

Most of the work was done in silence. You were hard to read. It was not necessarily awkward, but he took the time to observe you regardless. Your brows furrowed ever so slightly in concentration as you read the recipe. Your eyes however looked bored, like you didn’t want to be there. Was it the act of baking or was it him? Joel questioned this over and over again as he continued his attempt to read your mind. He knew it was a fruitless venture and because of this, he was also searching for the right words to break the silence.

Before that could even happen, he accidentally stubbed his toe against the island which caused him to drop the measuring cup of oil all over your shirt. He grunted in pain for a moment before realizing the mess he made. The stain was atop your heavy bump. His eyes raked your body from your middle to your eyes. In that moment, he knew he fucked up. Your eyes turned hard. With a tone of annoyance, you mumbled that it was your favorite shirt and that the stain would never come out. Before he could apologize, you grasped for whatever was closest to you, which was the cup of water and splashed it on his shirt. “Now we’re even.” He looked at you in disbelief. That night could have ended one of two ways: laughing about the accident, or letting it wedge the two of you even further away.

Joel inconspicuously pinched some flour and flicked it on your hair. He knew that was sensitive territory, but wanted to avoid your eyes as well as making the stain worse. “My hair, Joel?” You matched his look of disbelief. If that’s how he wanted it, that’s how he can have it, you thought to yourself. He wasn’t sure what he’d gotten himself into, so he turned to grab a towel to clean you off with. You got up, one hand cradling your belly and the other reaching out for the carton of eggs. Approaching him from behind, you stood on your tip-toes and smashed the egg on top of his head. His eyes darted upward as he felt the slimy yolk run down his face. He scooped most of it off and threw it in the sink before focusing his attention on you.

The two of you stared at each other, both faces blank until Joel allowed a devious smirk to appear. Your eyes finally moved away from him and he took that moment to retaliate. Just as quickly, you moved around the island to distance yourself from him. Joel knew he could catch you if he really wanted to, pregnancy or not. Still, he enjoyed the game of cat and mouse that the two of you found yourselves in. You grabbed the empty measuring cup and sprinted the best you could to the sink to refill it. Before it even filled half way, Joel reached you with some more flour in his hand. Before he could wind his arm back, you threw the water in his face. The flour littered the floor as his hands pulled his shirt up over his face to dry off. In that time, you went back to the eggs to keep the upper hand. His eyes never left yours. You watched him scramble for items he could use that were within his view. Showing no mercy, you threw another egg at him, but with impressive agility, he managed to dodge it. The two of you watched as it slid down the backsplash.

The two of you continued like this for about a half hour. Almost all of the ingredients that he traded for earlier that day were wasted. Instead of in the form of batter, everything was either on the walls, floor or your bodies. The mess that he knew he’d have to clean up was all worth it because he got to see the biggest smile and hear the hardiest laughter he’s witnessed from you in several weeks. The way your eyes crinkled and your gums showed because of how big your smile grew was an amazing feeling to both you and him. At some point, the two of you mutually agreed to call it quits.

“I think it’s time to get cleaned up.”

“I agree.” You huffed.

“How about a nice hot shower. Or a bath if you want to get off your feet.”

“That sounds nice. I think a shower will be better; I don’t want to sit in a pool of flour and egg residue. If you don’t mind, I’ll go first. I promise I won’t take up all of the hot water this time.” Her eyes didn’t meet yours but she offered up a small, genuine grin.

“Well, you won’t have to worry about that if we take it together, darlin’.” He moved closer to you which caused your body to go rigid. “How does that sound? We can have dinner afterwards and the chocolate bar was left untouched, so we can have that for, uh, dessert.” He raised a brow with a lustful yet loving gaze with the hopes of softening your stance.

“Oh, um, now that I think of it, I think a bath will sooth my back. I’ll go up and draw it up, ok?”

“You sure? You can rest and I can—” Joel began to suggest.

“I’m sure.” You turned on your heel and leaned against the railing as you walked up stairs.

Joel took a moment to watch, fighting the urge to help you steady yourself. “I’ll tidy up the kitchen while you do that.”

He let you take your time by cleaning up the entire kitchen. It’d been a while since the two of you shared a bath or shower, but one would always shout for the other that they were ready. After all was done in the kitchen, he’d still not heard from you. He jogged up the stairs to check on you. Pushing the bathroom door open a little bit wider, he found you already in the tub. No waiting for him to undress you or help you into the tub. “Already comfortable?” He really wanted to ask why you didn’t wait for him. You nodded in response. His eyes stayed on you. He noticed that your skin and hair were already clean and came to the conclusion that you even made the time to take a quick shower first.

Not thinking too much of it, he began to undress in front of you just like he’d done plenty of times before. It was never an easy task, ripping your eyes away from your favorite body parts of his. You let them linger while the shirt was over his head, but reverted back to looking down at the bubbles when he was done. His eyes laid back onto you when he was completely done. Without words, you scooched forward to give him room. You watched the water flow back and forth as he settled down behind you with a deep sigh. He noticed how your gaze was fixated on something in front of you.

With a lack of physical intimacy, Joel’s body was excited to be so close to yours. He never pushed you to do anything you didn’t want to, but has made several advances since the last time the two of you made love during your first trimester. He understood that sometimes you just weren’t in the mood from exhaustion or hormonal changes, but couldn’t understand why he was rejected every single time. He was spoiled from years of often being in sync with you physically.

It took a blow to Joel’s ego when he felt the awkward response to his hard on pressing against your lower back. If he could control it, he would, but his body craved you so much. He breathed through the pressure, hoping to slow the continuing flow of blood to his cock. Gingerly, he reached out to graze your shoulders when you swiftly stood up to wrap a towel around yourself.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” Joel said almost in a whisper. He didn’t look up until you responded.

“It’s ok.” You finally turned to face him.

“Is it?” Joel asked, holding your gaze. That was a first for him, apologizing for just wanting his wife. It made him feel inadequate. You said nothing before breaking eye contact and leaving him alone in the bathroom.

The persistent pressure from his groin pulled his thoughts away from the fact that you just left him there. He kneaded himself out only to find release as he knew this time the commonly adjoining pleasure would not be there. Now limp, Joel was left feeling defeated again and he was tired of it. Quickly, he cleaned himself up and hopped out the tub. In nothing but a towel wrapped low around his waist, he entered your shared bedroom.

You were found sitting on your side of the bed fully clothed. “I miss you.” Joel stated simply. You looked up at him with an air of disappointment. He waited for a response that never came. “Do you miss me?”

“I do…” It sounded like you were going to add a ‘but’. Instead, you struggled to find your next words.

“What did I do?” Joel asked.

“You’ve done everything right.” You began to look down at your hands.

“Everything right?” Joel scoffed. “Which part of those right things made you hate me then, (Y/N)? I repulse you now, so what changed?” His eyes were glassy from thinking about how this conversation was beginning to parallel with the one he had with Sarah’s mom before she left them. This time, his tone was more firm. He didn’t want to intimidate you, but he desperately needed answers or else he truly didn’t know what he was going to do next.

“I hate me! I’m repulsed by me!” You shouted abruptly, pointing at yourself. “I mean look at you,” Your eyes refused to meet Joel’s but settled on his imperfectly perfect toned physique still wet from the bath. “But I don’t even fucking recognize myself anymore.” Joel was admittedly confused by your confession. There was never a point where he stopped thinking of you in the same way, so he couldn’t wrap his mind around why your thoughts were different. Your body was changing to create his child. He couldn’t be more in love with you because of that, but instead you hated yourself? He made a move to step closer. “Don’t!” You stopped him in his tracks with bass in your voice. “I don’t need your pity. You wanted to know, so there it is.” You sniffled. “And also so you know, I miss you desperately and I never wanted you to think otherwise, but how was I supposed to express that I couldn’t possibly fathom so much as standing next to you without feeling bad because I was so disgusted with myself. It hurt me every single time I pushed you away, but…I didn’t want you to get too close and risk seeing what I see. I just wanted to keep it that way until,” You shrugged. “everything was back to normal again.” The sniffles became a stream of tears and whimpers.

Joel’s heart broke right in front of you. “Oh, baby girl…” He didn’t know what else to do other than follow his instinct and reach out again. It was subtle, but he saw how you shifted further away from him and closer to the headboard. He settled for sitting at the foot of the bed. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. You’ve apologized enough. You never did anything wrong.”

“I was focused on my needs.”

“No you weren’t. You were always focused on mine.”

“And still I didn’t realize.”

You began to whisper. “I should be the sorry one. I’ve treated you so horribly! I don’t deserve you, Joel.”

Joel got up and repositioned the towel before walking up to you. He didn’t care if you moved away; he needed to shut this shit down. The way Joel saw it, he was forever indebted to you for forgiving and loving him despite his lies and other actions. He crouched down and positioned himself between your legs so you would be forced to face him. “You’re breaking my heart, darlin’. I need you to not say things like that, ok?”

You could only imagine how you looked to him from that angle. Probably like a stuffed pig, you thought. “Stop, please.” Turning your head, you recoiled at the thought. Tears flowed out at a faster rate. It left a burning feeling in Joel’s chest as he watched.

“Baby, your body is not meant to be the same. If it was, our baby wouldn’t be able to grow and be healthy. I need you to understand that what is happening is important for them to thrive. I also need you to understand that with every stage of this pregnancy, I’ve loved you even more.”

“I get that but I still hate this. I feel like there’s nothing I can do to change that. Even after I give birth, It’ll never be the same.”

“What won’t?”

“Everything!” Tears began to stream down again. He reached up and you only allowed him to wipe away one before you batted his hand away. On top of all of your emotions, you felt embarrassed for being so shallow despite knowing what your body needed to go through.

He nodded while biting back his own tears. “You’re right; nothing will be exactly the same. There will be big changes in our lives soon, but it’s only going to be for the better; I promise you.” He squeezed your thigh. It took everything in you not to jerk it away. At this point, it was almost instinctual. “There will be things that won’t change though. I’ll find you just as sexy as I do now. Shoot, I might just even more.” He forced a chuckle to see if it’d lighten the mood. It didn’t. After a few beats of silence, he spoke up again. “Baby, I need you to believe me. Please.” His eyes pleaded as they beckoned you to look at him again.

You began crying harder. Immediately, Joel stood up and sat next to you so he could pull you into his embrace. To his surprise, you didn’t resist. You truly missed him. You were tired of pushing him away and just wanted his comfort. “I’m so scared, Joel.”

“It’s ok to feel scared sometimes. Remember I was too. Still am, truth be told.”

“This is different.” You choked on your cries and began to hiccup. “Please don’t hate me.”

“Why would I hate you?” He gripped your chin and tilted it up so you could see the honesty in his eyes. “That will never happen, ok?”

You sat there crying into his shoulder for a solid minute before you finally spoke up. “I don’t feel anything for the baby anymore.” Joel was taken aback. He’s tried to rationalize your words thus far, but now he’s struggling. “I was excited. To create something with you in this way was something I fantasized about for a long time, but sometimes I wonder if it was worth it.”

“Of course it was worth it.” He replied, without missing a beat.

“I’m not ready for this.” You began shaking your head fervently before your words exploded out. “I feel the kicks, but I don’t feel excited anymore. I only rub my belly to ease the pain, not to feel some sort of connection. I feel miserable everyday. I eat like a fucking pig when you’re not around because I’m always starving, but most times I can barely keep any of it down. The fucking nausea was supposed to end months ago! I still work to give myself purpose, but it’s mostly to stay active. I can’t hold shit down yet I look like I’m carrying triplets. I mean, I don’t know what else to do! I can’t go ten minutes without wanting to fucking piss myself! And I haven’t gone without some sort of ache or pain in months. I know all of this whining is nothing compared to what I have to look forward to in a few weeks. Sometimes I wonder what if something happens to the baby and it was all for nothing; my body did all of this for nothing? I’m trying so hard, but...” You hesitated. ”What if I resent the baby when I see them for the first time? We shouldn’t have done this, Joel.”

“Don’t say that, baby. Don’t say that.” Joel held you tight as he gently rocked you back and forth. “I promise you it won’t be like that, you hear me?” He waited a beat longer than he usually did before asking again with a slightly more firm tone. “(Y/N)?”

“I hear you.” You replied. You couldn’t recognize your own voice either as a huge lump was stuck in your throat.

Joel sat there with you for several minutes and during that time, you worked on getting reacquainted with your husband’s touch. Very gently, he maneuvered your body to lay back on your side of the bed. You felt the heat of his body disappear as he got up to turn off all of the lights in the room. With only a new moon out, the room suddenly became pitch black. You felt the bed dip on his side. The indentation deepened as he slid closer to you. Joel ghosted his hand over your belly, an action you have not allowed him to remotely do in months. Because of this, Joel had not been able to bond with his child as much as he wanted. The closest he would get was catching rare glimpses of subtle movement under your baggy shirts. He saw your pregnancy as a second chance; a chance to do things differently. With Sarah’s mom, he was more timid as he was just a teen. Still, he took responsibility and did things like buying his first car so he could drive her to doctor appointments. He was supportive, but was too nervous to initiate any sort of connection with his daughter until she was born.

Little by little, his hand lowered until it reached your taught skin. The feel of his warmth was familiar but something of a shock to the system. He rubbed in one direction under the bump until he felt a kick. It took everything in him to avoid any sudden reactions so as to not harm the progress he made with you. He couldn’t help, however, wanting to experience more; it was almost addicting. Many questions came to the forefront of his mind, some familiar, some new. For a moment, he pretended that it was Sarah. He knew it was a weird notion, one that he would never speak of, but it gave him an immense amount of comfort.

#TLOU #TLOU 2 #The Last of Us 2 #The Last of Us #Joel Miller #TLOU Joel Miller #The Last of Us Joel Miller #TLOU Joel #joel fanfic #joel x reader #joel miller x reader #Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

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tloujm · 1 year

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Part XXXIII: Prenatal

Author’s Notes: Because I haven’t posted in a while, here’s another I happened to get ready in time.

Genre: Angst

Summary: There is a time jump between this and the last chapter. Last, the reader was at 15 weeks (4 1/2 months). Now the reader is around 24 weeks, the end of the second trimester. Joel has concern for you. It leaves a strain in the relationship as your behavior changes a bit. Mostly Joel and Tommy fluffy brotherly bonding.

Ship: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

“(Y/N).” Joel called your name a third time. He sat across from you at the kitchen island. Admittedly, you came to the second time he said your name, but ignored him in hopes that he’d give up. Your eyes finally blinked and gazed up at him. “Don’t forget to take these. You’ve been forgettin’ lately.” He tapped the napkin with your prenatal vitamins on them. He watched as you slowly reached out. “What’s on your mind, darlin’?”

You shrugged. Joel looked at you intently, so you knew he wanted an actual answer. “I just feel lethargic.”

“Wanna go back to bed? Nothin’ wrong with that.” He suggested sympathetically.

You shook your head gingerly. “No, I just got up. If I go back, I don’t think I’ll be able to heave myself back up.”

He chuckled. “You are nowhere near that big.”

You just offered up a tiny grin. “I have things to do. I can’t go back to bed.”

“Wendy’ll understand.”

“And what about Ellie?” You questioned.

“She will too.” He shrugged.

He’d grown to care for Ellie in a special way; a way reminiscent of how he softened up to you when the two of you trekked across the country or similar to how he cared for his own daughter. Despite that, you were his number one priority and if you felt burned out, he would rather you rest than work at the daycare. He knew it’s a high energy job. It was rare, but sometimes Ellie would require the most energy of all the kids. Joel could see how much strength was in that little girl for her to have endured as much as she had, but it was at the cost of traumatic stress. Joel was familiar with the territory, so he never backed down from the challenge to help her. It was always baby steps with her; some days were better than others.

“Listen baby girl, you gon’ ahead and rest. I can’t cover your shift or anything but I can stop and see if Ellie wants to have dinner with us again. She might feel up to it. If not, I’ll just stay and sit with her.”

“No, it’s okay. Once I get outside and start walking around, I’ll be fine. I’ll tell her you said hi.”

His eyes bounced around your face to read it. “If you’re sure.” You nodded before getting up to put your plate in the sink. Joel stood up and slid it out of your hands so he could do it. “You be careful.”

“I know.”

“I mean it.” He said as gently as possible.

“I know you mean it.” You responded. He caught a twinge of annoyance in your voice.

“Now don’t start, (Y/N). I’m only lookin’ out for you. I just…I just need you to take it easy.”

“I’m fine. I mean it.”

He let out a heavy sigh before walking in front of you. “Just do me a favor. Stay hydrated and if you start to feel tired, listen to your body and sit down. Tell Wendy you need a break.”

“That's technically three favors.” You joked dryly.

“Ha ha, ok, three favors. Just, baby,---”

“Take it easy?”

“Mmhmm” He hummed before pulling you closer to leave a kiss on your forehead. “Got your walkie?”

“Yup.” You took it out of your back pocket and waved it in his line of view.

“Call me if you need me, darlin’.”

For the past few months whenever you’d leave the house first, Joel would stand by the living room window and watch you walk off until you turned the corner and were out of sight. It didn’t take long for you to catch on. You understood him being more clingy because of the baby, but sometimes you felt like it was too much and on the days that you didn’t struggle getting up for the day, you would try to sneak out so he wouldn’t do so. It took about 3-4 times before he caught on. It made him think about if he was overdoing it, but he couldn’t help but worry over you, especially since you were practically in your third trimester.

*********

“Hey there, brother.” Tommy greeted Joel from the window.

“Y’alright if I come on up?” Joel shouted up to the guard tower.

“Ain’t nobody but me up here. Why don’t you keep me company for a bit.”

Joel nodded. “Alright.” He grunted a couple times while he climbed the ladder. Tommy opened the hatch to the door.

“Beer?” Tommy handed him an unmarked glass with slightly murky amber liquid.

“Who made this backwoods bottle of hooch?” Joel was suspicious after removing the cork.

“Me. New hobby I took up. Maria said I needed one. I told her keeping Jackson safe was mine, but that wasn’t enough for her.”

Joel swirled it around before taking a whiff. “I’m sure she’s just tryna look out for you.”

“Well, she said I need something to do to take my mind off of Jackson sometimes.”

“When d’you start doin’ this?”

“Few months back.”

“And you just now tellin’ me?”

“I didn’t wanna say nothin’ just in case it didn’t come out good. Once I fine tune it, I might try and convince ‘em at The Hole to start offerin’ it.”

“Look at that, my baby brother found himself a callin’.”

“Quit the gushy talk and just try it.”

Joel began to put the bottle to his lips but stopped. “You first.” He quirked an eyebrow.

Tommy held up his almost empty bottle. “I’ve already dranken mine.”

“Mmhmm.” Joel hummed before taking an actual swig. It sat in his mouth for a moment to judge the flavor and body before swallowing. It was a unique taste for sure. There was no other direction for it to go but back out or down his throat. Finally, Joel swallowed followed by a fit of coughs. “Damn, brother! This an ale or malt liquor?”

Tommy chuckled before leaning back in his chair. “I like to think of each of the brews as my children. Each one is unique and develops their own personality as they age.”

“Is that what you’re gonna tell Seth down at The Hole? Gotta develop a recipe and choose which one you’re gonna go with.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Tommy considered.

“Pfft…maybe.” Joel chuckled while shaking his head. “Never gon’ listen to your big brother, are you?” He tried another tiny swig.

“Let’s not go down that road.”

“What are you doing up here anyway? You usually push your guard duties off on someone else.”

“I figured I should start leading by example for the new folks that just came in, even though I think it’s the most boring job in Jackson. I don’t know how this appeals to you.”

Joel chuckled again. “It don’t necessarily appeal to me. I just don’t find it borin’. It’s a time to contemplate and people watch and most importantly, do my job.” He kicked the younger brother’s leg so he could sit up straight and look out the window.

Tommy feigned annoyance. “So what brings you my way? In need of some advice from Dr. Thomas?”

“Can’t just come to visit my brother?”

“Well I know this ain’t one of them visits.”

“How do you know?”

“I saw it on your face ‘fore you even climbed the ladder.” Tommy looked proud at his ability to read people.

“Is that so?” Joel quirked an eyebrow again.

“Quite so. You had a face that said there was trouble in paradise.”

“There’d been trouble in paradise for a little while now.”

“Uh oh. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know, man. I just know most days she’s not happy anymore. Like today, she woke up in a mood. Before, I’d push her to open up to me and ask what was wrong, but that seemed to bother her more. I figured maybe I was being too pushy, so I give her more space now.”

“Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones?” Tommy suggested.

“I don’t know. I expected more crying than usual and weird cravings. I was prepared for that. I love that woman, Tommy. Do you think…she don’t trust me anymore? Am I too much?”

“No, Joel…I mean you can be, but,” Tommy sighed, struggling to figure out what to say next. “Look, I’m not in your relationship so I can’t really say anything on anything, but I know you two are meant to be together. It’s just a rough patch, I’m sure. Now, I may not be a father, but I do know that adding a baby into the mix when things aren’t settled will only put more stress on y’all, so I suggest trying to work it out before my little nephew comes.”

“We don’t know what it’s gonna be yet and what do you think I’ve been doing so far? She’s…she’s been slipping, Tommy, and I don’t know if it’s on purpose or not.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Joel sighed, hating to think about what he was about to say. “She’d been doing little things that add up. Things that I’m afraid are putting our baby at risk.”

Tommy’s eyebrows shot up. “Like what?”

“She’s stopped taking everything the doctor's given her, like the perinatal vitamins. I know they’re only vitamins, but out here they are a precious commodity. I have to physically put them in her hand and watch her take it or else she won’t. I count them in the bottle now. Same thing with her blood pressure meds. If she don’t take ‘em, Tommy, what if it turns into…uh…uh…Preeclampsia or somethin’. That could put both of ‘em at risk. I’m not losing them too, Tommy.”

“You won’t.” He tried to sound optimistic.

“The only medicine she’ll take is for her nausea.”

“She still gets that at this stage? Isn’t she in her third trimester now?”

“Next week she will be. The doctor said it was uncommon, but it could still happen this late. Laura makes her this herbal tincture that helps a lot. That she takes religiously.” Joel looked up at his brother. “You know she passed out ‘bout a week back?”

“Hold on, she passed out? Why didn’t you say nothin’?”

“Luckily, the doctor wasn’t too far away so we didn’t need a fuss made. But Tommy, I was so fuckin’ scared. I watched her…her body just go limp—”

“It’s alright, Joel, you don’t h—”

“Nah, it’s fine.” He tried to hide his sniffles. “She was too far away for me to catch her. Thank God she didn’t fall forward; she fell back on the high grass.”

“I can’t believe that happened.” Tommy muttered.

“It was from dehydration. The doctor said that she is more susceptible to it with the heat and the vomiting and then, you know, sharing her nutrients with the baby. I make sure she drinks water around me, but she doesn’t have that glow like she did early on. I don’t wanna be paranoid, but I half expect to hear a call over the walkie saying that she passed out again. I try to get the doc to stop by and check on her more often, but he’s a busy man.” Joel sighed. “Looking back, she began doin’ all this about a month or two back. I shoulda seen it then.”

“You’re more aware now.”

“I wish she’d take it easy. She keeps going out to the daycare to work everyday. Last thing I want is for her to be on bed rest. I know that wouldn’t help her mood; Lord knows I hated it. Not that I want it to get to that point, but at least I’d have a better peace of mind knowing that she wasn’t over extending herself or the baby.”

“Wendy’ll look after her. Me and Maria can stop by more too and check on her and Ellie.” Tommy suggested to which Joel nodded. “‘Til then, still try to talk to her. She’s bottling something up for some reason. You just gotta figure it out.”

“Yeah…” Joel’s head hung low.

“When was the last time you did something nice for her?”

“All the time. I make her breakfast and bring her back dinner from The Hole. I used to pick her up, rub her feet and give her back massages, but she’s been more sensitive these days; she don’t like ‘em no more.”

“And who said chivalry wasn’t dead.” Tommy smirked.

Joel glared at him. “Just tell me what you recommend, doc.”

“Do something nice with her this time. Something you two can enjoy together. Maybe she feels too…” He tried to think of the right word. “Smothered.”

“Smothered?”

“You heard me. Maybe she feels that you are doing things for her as if she can’t do it on her own and it’s bothering her but she doesn’t know how to tell you. Allowing her to do something with you will give her a sense of purpose. Maybe that’s why she’s always at the daycare.” Joel continued to glare but more contemplatively than defensively. “But I could be wrong. Still, doesn’t hurt to try a little couples activity. Speaking of…”

“I’m not talking about my sex life with you.”

“It was only for professional, brotherly reasons.” Tommy defended.

“Alright, doc. Well how are you and Maria?”

With a shit eating grin that Maria would’ve smacked off of him, Tommy replied. “Oh we’re great!”

#TLOU #TLOU2 #The Last of Us 2 #the last of us #the last of us joel #the last of us fanfic #joel fanfic #Joel Miller #Joel Miller x Reader #Joel Miller x Fem!Reader #tlou joel #tlou joel miller #joel miller fanfiction

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tloujm · 1 year

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Part XXXII: Check in and Check up

Author’s Notes: Hey! I’m back for right now. I’ve been having this rollercoaster of conflicting emotions every time I write now; Sometimes I get real excited and other times I feel like it doesn’t matter. I want to end the series soon so I don’t feel guilty for being so inconsistent and I think I’ll end it soon after the baby is born then probably follow it up with some epilogue type one shots here and there. I still love the TLOU fandom though! I can’t wait for more Joel content. I’ve written enough to last through the month of December if I space it out weekly. I’m working on writing some more because I have recently rearranged some stuff in my life to relieve stress and open up my time more.

Genre: Fluff & Angst

Summary: Direct sequel to the previous chapter. You and Joel get a check up by the local doctor plus a little time jump with angst at the end.

Ship: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Tommy set up a home visit from the doctor to check up on the both of you. It’d be your first prenatal check up. You didn’t know what to expect. Maybe some vitamins and the basic weight and blood pressure measurements. For Joel, all he wanted was to be told that he had a clean bill of health. The doctor initially left him with a single crutch that had seen better days to help relieve the pressure on his sprained ankle. That was all he could do instead of a formal visit on account of being busy with the bodies. Joel’s ankle was worse than he let on which is why you insisted on bed rest. Other than that and a few cuts and bruises, you knew Joel was lucky to have gotten off so easily.

Joel insisted that you get checked first when Doctor Carson arrived at the house. You wore layers, so you were asked to strip down to just your tank top and leggings. Your husband quickly discarded the useless crutch and leaned against a wall while he watched on. Last night, he timidly ran his hand across your belly. His touch was ginger; barely there and featherlight. As he stood there watching you remove your sweater, he remembered how you guided his hand and laid it flush against your soft skin. The heat radiated from your middle like a burning furnace, or maybe that’s how he felt. The anxiety he got from that weirded him out. He’d experienced fatherhood before, so he couldn’t understand why he felt like a teenager again, finding out for the first time that he was going to be someone’s dad..

He remembered gliding his hand up and down your belly as soon as you let go of him. There wasn’t much there yet, but he could definitely tell the difference. The two of you basically fell asleep that way, then you woke up and got ready before he did. It dawned on him when the doctor began his examination, that this was the first time he was actually seeing the bump. It was all he could look at. It looked bigger than how it felt. Could she have grown that much since then?, he thought to himself before shaking the foolish thought away. How were you so good at hiding it?

Doctor Carson pulled out some measuring tape from his bag and wrapped it around the peak of your small bump. You looked down trying to catch the number. He mumbled a number before scribbling it down in his notebook. Next, he wrapped the black cuff around your arm and took your blood pressure. Again he mumbled some numbers that you barely caught and wrote them down. During the entire process, your eyes were on Joel. He didn’t quite notice at first, but when his eyes finally met yours, a wide smile appeared on your face. It proved infectious as he grew one too.

Next up was the ultrasound. You thought it was too early to hear anything, but based on his findings, you were further along than you thought. You and Joel both silently pondered the accurate date of conception. The edge of Joel’s lip tweaked up at the memory. He wondered if the same one popped up in your head. The doctor guided you to the couch so you could lay down. Afterwards, he reached into his bag and pulled out a portable device that you’d never seen before. You pulled your shirt up just below your bra.

Doctor Carson clicked the device on. “If all is well, we’ll get to hear your baby’s heart beating for the first time.” As if on cue, you and Joel looked at each other. “Ready?” You watched Joel nod, so in turn you nodded at the doctor.

“Oh…” Joel kind of grunted. It took a few beats for it to really register for him that this being really existed and that it was all really happening. He leaned further against the couch and caressed your cheek. Your eyes were glassy and his thumb was ready to wipe the tears away. You kissed his wrist as the beats sounded at a healthy rate.

“Can you believe that?” You whispered to Joel while the doctor put the machine away.

“With you? Yes.” He tried to say in his steadiest voice. He truly didn’t see himself experiencing fatherhood again, but felt blessed that he got to with you.

You pulled your shirt down and sat up to give Joel room to limp over and sit. Doctor Carson sat on the coffee table and placed the injured ankle on his lap. After removing the bandages and brace, he began poking and prodding. Joel took it like a champ but you could tell he was holding back a wince or two. You hated seeing him in pain, even if you knew he could handle it.

“How does that feel?” The doctor pushed his finger deeper into the flesh.

“Feels fine.” Joel countered.

“How about here?” He quickly chose another spot on the other side of the foot, to which Joel flinched. “A bit tender, eh?”

“Yeah, a bit.“ Joel hissed.

The doctor checked his other vitals when he got the matter of his ankle out of the way. He replaced the bandages from the cuts before reaching into his bag again. First, he gave you a bottle of prenatal vitamins. Then, he gave Joel a handmade paste that was meant to have numbing and antibacterial properties. After rationing out some pain killers, he applied some of the balm and rewrapped the bandage around it.

“Thank you for your service.” The doctor said to Joel before leaving.

“My service?”

“Your contribution to Jackson. If it weren’t for you and your team, we wouldn’t have these supplies.” He turned and almost walked out the door before turning back around. “Oh and congratulations.”

*********************

It was a surprisingly still night. Joel pondered this as he sat in his craft room with a narrow brush in one hand and the barrel of his revolver in the other. It’d been raining for 3 days straight. Tonight, however, no wind and clear enough skies to see the half full moon. His hands mindlessly cleaned the gun as they’d done for decades.

Reflexively, Joel snapped the chambers back into place and gripped the handle before turning to find the source of a creak outside the door. He knew the gun wasn’t loaded, but whoever was intruding in his house didn’t know that. During a pause of silence, Joel contemplated loading the gun quickly and quietly so he could actually protect you. As soon as the thought entered his mind, he heard a soft knock at the door followed by a slow turn on the doorknob.

You poked your head in just in time for him to put the revolver back on the table. Your eyes darted around the room for a few seconds to gather some answers. Regardless, you were going to ask him anyway.

“What are you doing in here this late?” You asked in a soft, sleep laced voice. Next was your 15 week belly that came into the room, followed by the rest of your body.

“You know what they say about idle hands, darlin,” He replied with a shrug.

“They don’t have to be idle if they’re holding me.” You smirked. “Let’s go back to that. Please?” You reached your hand towards him while nodding toward the door.

Joel lifted his weary eyes to your palm. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Why?” You exclaimed.

He shrugged. “I…my mind won’t…stop, darlin’.”

“Where is your mind, Joel?”

“In a place I know it shouldn’t be.” That was all he revealed. Again, you reached out your hand.

Joel could never deny you, even though he knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep again once he got to bed. His mind was restless and he’d rather distract it with work than lay rigid in bed. He knew you wouldn’t be able to fall back to sleep next to him that way.

He took your hand and let you guide him back. You finally let go when the two of you got to his side of the bed. His eyes followed as you walked around to the window and opened it a crack to let the fresh air in.

Unlike what he imagined, you turned to your side underneath the covers and opened your arms. He preferred to be the big spoon, but rarely rejected it when you offered. Without hesitation, he laid his head on your soft, warm chest. Any other time, he’d lay his entire body on top of yours; to you he felt like a weighted blanket and you loved it. Ever since you grew the slightest bump, he settled for laying on his side next to you.

Joel was rarely this close to your breasts without fondling them in some sort of way. He’d have an innate urge to kiss or at least squeeze them, but he ignored it to instead focus on lulling himself to the rhythmic up and down of your breathing. You reached down and gently raked your nails across his cheeks and beard. It helped him forget his worries immensely until you finally spoke up.

“Where is your mind now?” You asked in your softest voice.

“In a better place.” His eyes still closed.

“Stay there then.” You paused. “Stay with me.”

“I don’t want to leave.”

“Did you have a nightmare?” Admittedly, you had always found comfort in Joel when you had a bad dream, but you could not recollect a time that he shared having one of his own. You thought that he must have had them, knowing all the things he’d seen and done. You knew he wasn’t the type to worry you over it, but you wished he didn’t feel that way.

“Not a nightmare.” He answered. You wanted to probe further, but didn’t want to put him back into a bad mindset. As you contemplated whether to let him just sleep or not, he spoke again. “I want the world for our baby. Same as I did for Sarah. I remember being scared out of my mind when I found out about her. That world was still dangerous, but this one is a whole new playin’ field.” He reached his hand out and spread his fingers across your belly. “I will do everything in my power to protect them, but I’m scared again, (Y/N) and I don’t like feelin’ that way.”

“That’s a normal feeling, love.” You said.

“I know. After Sarah died,” Joel cleared his throat. “I stopped feeling scared. I didn’t feel that way again ‘til I met you. I’ve been scared of losing you many times over. But I wouldn’t trade that feelin’ for anything in the world if it means I get to keep you, (Y/N). I know one day they won’t have me to protect them anymore, so all I can do is raise ‘em and teach ‘em the best I can.”

“That’s all we can do, baby.” Your fingers left his face and in turn raked themselves up and down his back.

He let out a heavy sigh and with that, the conversation was over. You felt confident that he could peacefully go to sleep. You also felt confident that this was far from the first time that he will feel this way during your pregnancy. This feeling will probably get worse. Of course, you felt the same. It was an ongoing journey that you foresaw for the both of you.

#TLOU #TLOU2 #the last of us #The Last of Us 2 #the last of us fanfic #the last of us joel #Joel Miller #TLOU Joel Miller #Joel Miller x Fem!Reader #Joel Miller x Reader #joel fanfic #joel miller fanfic

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tloujm · 1 year

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Okay but your post just made me the happiest person ever. I am so excited for more Joel fic content from you!!!!!

You’re the sweetest fr 💗I’m excited too!

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tloujm · 1 year

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I’m posting starting tomorrow! I missed the PS5 remaster train but I’ll be hot diggity damned if I miss the HBO TLOU train!

No, I didn't forget about those WIPs, time just moves differently for me. For you, it's been years; for me, it's just been a few seconds, maybe a minute

#TLOU #the last of us #I’m backkk #even if it’s just for a few ppl #I’m back and I’m here for you #my life is FINALLY calming down #I love me some Pedro Pascal and while I think physically he was a good choice for Joel #idk…some part of me have doubt still but if he steals my heart yet again as Joel #then I might just write PP specific Joel one shots after I finish this series #Joel Miller’s shoes are big to fill so let’s see

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tloujm · 2 years

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Hi!!! Just found your story in my deep dive for Joel fics. Can I just say wow?? I love it! Do you plan on releasing any more chapters? I would love to see how Joel is as a new dad again I think it would be incredible.

I really hope you are doing okay!

Hi hi!

It’s been a min since I’ve been on tumblr for any of my fandoms; like this is the least I’ve been on tumblr in years (which makes me sad to think about).

I definitely wanna come back and finally finish this fic! I’m glad to hear someone out there is still reading and enjoying what I have so far! I think I may have a half to a dozen chapters left in the storyline to wrap it up. If I get back deep into the fandom, maybe I’ll do an epilogue or oneshots to go with it.

Now, down to the nitty gritty: on top of working a full time job (40-50 hrs), I decided to make life less fun and more stressful for myself by going back to school part time. Tbh, I regret it. I’m one of those “college isn’t for me” type of ppl but I don’t see a future at the current job I’m at and I don’t wanna do it for the rest of my life or honestly for the rest of the year so I’m hoping this degree will be my out 🤷🏽‍♀️

That being said, I have even less time to write as a hobby. Also that being said, right before my semester started, I did decide to give this fic another go and at least write another chapter, which I did accomplish. It’s a decent length but I’m not 100% happy with the plot direction nor is it edited, so I don’t plan on releasing it just yet but idk when I’m gonna get the chance.

Now, the kinda good news: my semester ends at the end of august (tho the way my school is set up, the next semester starts only a couple weeks after). This kinda coincides with the rerelease of the remastered TLOU game that’s meant to be coming out at the end of September. What I’m hoping is that streamers on YT will get early access, make gameplays with the new and updated graphics and THAT content will get me out of my rut and give me the inspiration to write more and complete the fic so everyone can enjoy. Ik that means nothings coming out anytime soon (unless I find time to edit the aforementioned chapter) but please bear with me and I will try my best

♥️✌🏽♥️

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tloujm · 2 years

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Part XXXI: Heart Shaped Box

Author’s Notes: I’m sorry for making you guys wait so long since the last installment. I recently looked at the date of my last post and I swear it didn’t feel like months ago. Like my most recent post explains, I still feel less motivated than I did when I first started this but I don’t feel forced to write this. I did just find some new/recreated content to go off of and inspire new posts, so that’s exciting! I’m sorry it’s not super long given the time between this and the last chapter. Regardless, whoever still likes this series or is new to it, I hope you all enjoy! PS: This takes place 1 1/2 days after the last chapter.

Genre: Angsty fluff

Summary: Things come to a head when Tommy reveals to Joel that he knows about your situation. Joel is a little angry but mostly confused. You and he have a discussion and lay things out for the first time since he was rescued.

Ship: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Tommy visited Joel the next morning. He was resting in bed while you were out getting food from the gardens to make dinner with. Tommy removed his ball cap and twisted the bill in his hands as he slowly approached his brother. He knew who he was, but he looked so different, so foreign, at the same time. He couldn’t imagine the things he saw while he was at that cannibal camp. He also couldn’t believe how lucky he was that Joel survived.

“Quit bein’ all timid; I ain’t dead.” Joel spoke up.

“How ya feelin’?” Tommy asked.

“Ain’t nothin’ a night’s rest won’t help.” Joel casually answered.

“You already had a night’s rest.”

“Well, maybe one more will do the trick.”

“I let myself in; I hope that’s alright. I noticed (Y/N) ain’t here.”

“Yeah, she went on down to the gardens to pick up some thangs.” Tommy sat at the foot of the bed and hunched over.

“Need me to get anythin’ for you? A glass of water?” Tommy suggested.

The elder brother shook his head. “I don’t need anything I can’t get for myself, although (Y/N) has me on bed rest.” He chuckled. Despite looking a bit different, the familiar sound comforted Tommy.

“You and (Y/N) both need to start taking it easy. She’s the one who’s gonna need bed rest when she’s further along if she doesn’t get used to taking a load off now. Me and Maria are gonna come by more and help y’all out. She wanted to make it this mornin’ but had an emergency meeting. Said she’d stop by this evening though; bring a casserole or somethin’.” His voice faded off as he shrugged.

Joel’s brows furrowed. “What are you talkin’ about?”

Tommy looked at him confused. “What do you mean?”

“Further along?” Joel repeated his words.

“Yeah, like when she’s in her third trimester. It’ll be harder for her to move around.”

“Is she pregnant?”

“Joel,” Tommy began, gazing at his brother intently. “I thought you knew.” His brother said nothing in response as his mind raced with thoughts. A wave of realization crossed Tommy’s face when the idea popped up in his head that you never even told Joel. He now questioned why Jesse would’ve known before the father of her own child. He wanted to know the answer just as much as his brother, but knew it wasn’t his place.

“She told you this?” His voice was soft.

“No, Jesse did. I haven’t had a chance to talk to her since last night when I brought her over from Jesse’s to come see you.”

“Wait, how did Jesse get involved in all this? She told him she’s pregnant? When was this?” His voice reflected the growing anger he felt.

Tommy explained as much as he could, starting with enlisting Jesse to go after you to the reason you chose to come back. He didn’t have much information; only what Jesse told him. He really wished that you would walk through the doors downstairs as if on cue and explain this to him. He understood that last night or even this morning was not a good time, but things were starting to get out of hand. Joel threw the blanket off and slid out of bed. Tommy watched as he got dressed. He tried to convince his older brother to wait for you to come back home and talk it out, but he continued to move around the room.

Joel thought back to how you looked this morning before you left. You wore a baggy shirt and spent a long time in the bathroom. He didn’t think anything of it at the time. Given your choice of outfit, he wouldn’t have been able to see a bump. He couldn’t even pretend to guess how far along you were. He could only try to estimate based off of the times between your wedding night and the honeymoon; any earlier and he would have definitely noticed by now.

He thought about what his brother said and decided to wait for you downstairs, but he soon grew restless. He forced himself to stay as long as he could, which was about five minutes, before he threw on his boots and left the house. He went to the gardens and walked through the marketplace, but you were not there. He thought that he might have just missed you and that you were on your way home, but he also thought about how he was closer to Jesse’s home than his at the moment.

Joel banged on Jesse’s door. “Joel! I figured it’d be Tommy. Only the Miller brothers bang, not knock.” Jesse joked, standing in the doorway. Joel didn’t take lightly to his sense of humor. He pushed Jesse back into his house and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

“Why was my wife at your house?” Joel asked through his teeth.

“She didn’t want to be alone.” Jesse knew how what he said sounded and he didn’t care. He was enraged at the audacity that Joel would threaten him in his home.

Joel pushed him up against a wall. “What did you do to her?”

“We didn’t do anything. Not anything I know you’re thinking. I was here for her as a friend.”

“Then why did Tommy find her in your bed?”

“I wanted her to be comfortable. I slept on the couch! You’d probably throw me up against a wall if you found out I had her sleeping on the couch instead! Get off me!” Jesse pushed back and Joel released his grip.

“You didn’t touch her?” Joel asked as he calmed down.

Jesse shook his head. “No. I wouldn’t do that.”

“Why did she tell you before me?”

“Tell me what?”

“That she’s pregnant!” Joel said as if it was obvious.

Jesse’s brows furrowed. “You didn’t know? When she told me, I assumed you already knew.” One of his hands raked through his hair. “I...I’m sorry, man. If it makes you feel better, she technically didn’t tell me. I guessed it. Tommy sent me to go find her and when I did, she got really sick. Couldn’t even hold down water and I just put two and two together. I had a pregnancy scare once with Kat, so I’m familiar with the signs.” Jesse put his hand on Joel’s shoulder. He flinched but didn’t reject the approach. “She’s scared, man. Scared of parenthood, but mostly scared of doing it without you. I probably shouldn’t have told her business like that to Tommy, but since I thought you knew, I figured he might too. I’m sure she just wanted to wait until you were better first before she told you.” Joel’s shoulders slumped as he listened to Jesse, the man he’s disliked since the two of you first got together. “Go talk to her, Joel.” All he did was nod before leaving back out the already open door.

*******

“Joel!” You exclaimed. “What were you doing out of the house? You should be resting! I didn’t know where you were; I was about to go get Tommy.” You quickly walked up to him where he found you in the kitchen. His eyes focused on your belly as you approached him. His eyes only found yours once you closed the space between you two.

“I went out to find you.” He muttered.

“Well, I’m here now, love.” You cradled his head gently between your two palms. “Are you hungry?”

“No.” He said simply.

“If not, then let’s get you back to bed. Were you restless? I didn’t mean to be gone for so long. I’ll keep you company now, though.” Joel obliged, thinking that if you planned on staying in the room with him, he could ask you questions. He also didn’t want to work you up by going against your wishes of bedrest. He silently followed you up the stairs while keeping his hand in yours. Once in bed, his eyes stayed glued to yours. He waited until you got comfortable, hoping you’d start talking first.

“Got something to tell me, (Y/N)?” Joel began.

After a long moment of silence, you finally spoke up. “Who told you?”

“It don’t matter who.”

You sighed in defeat. “I know.”

“I wanna hear it from you.”

You gave a slight shrug. “Joel, I’m pregnant.” It felt useless to say now, but you knew he needed to hear it.” He could no longer hold your gaze, instead looking down at his blanket covered legs. He only offered up a grunt and a tight lined grin.

“I’m sorry, Joel.”

“Don’t be sorry, darlin’; I want this, you know.”

“I should have waited to take the test with you. You deserved to experience that moment too and I took that away from you. I was…just so curious and I just knew you and your team would be back soon enough. I figured I’d surprise you with the test as a sort of welcome back gift. In hindsight, I realize that was selfish and I should have waited—”

“You weren’t selfish.”

“Yes I was.”

“You felt off and wanted to know why; that’s fair. If you weren’t pregnant, it could have been something more serious and you’d want to know sooner rather than later. (Y/N), it’s ok.” Joel looked back up at you again, meaning every word he spoke.

“I didn’t think any of this was going to happen.”

“How could you?”

“I wanted you to be the first to know…” You continued to tell him that Ellie was with you when you found out and explained how Jesse accidently came to figure it out. “No one else knows though.”

“Tommy does and I wouldn’t blame him for sharing that with Maria.”

“How did he find out?”

“He’s the one that told me. He thought I knew already.” You sighed at his words, realizing how much you fumbled things. “Jesse told him, thinking that if I knew, Tommy would have too.”

“Fuck.”

“What’s done is done, (Y/N).” He reached out to hold your hand.

“There just never seemed to be a good time to say something. I mean, you’ve only just got back from…believe me, I wanted to tell you, but everythings such a shit show right now. The attack affected the entire settlement. I just wanted you to heal and get better before anything else.”

“I am better, especially now.” He said. You offered him a smile though you knew he wasn’t 100%. “C’mere,” He gestured for you to scooch closer and lay next to him in bed. “Tell me about it, when you found out.”

You spent the next hour laying in his arms telling him about all the emotions that swirled throughout your entire body while you were waiting those long 3 minutes. He mostly stayed quiet and listened, gently squeezing your arm from time to time. You tried to give as vivid details as possible so he could at least pretend to have been there. You were happy that everything was out in the open now, but you couldn’t help but wonder what the future held.

#Joel Miller #TLOU #TLOU2 #TLOUII #The Last of Us #The Last of Us 2 #Joel #TLOU Joel #TLOU Joel Miller #Joel Miller x Fem!Reader #joel x reader #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x reader #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #Dad!Joel #Dad!JoelMiller #DILF if I've ever seen one #I don't know about you

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