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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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Tony: Loki, what are you thinking about right now?
Loki: I was thinking how I would make the perfect American president, based upon my skill set, dance ability, and bloodlust.
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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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Tony: How do girls put on skirts? Do you do it one leg at a time like pants, or do you jump right in?
Pepper: One leg at a time.
Nat: I jump right in.
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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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Tony: I had a dream about Stephen the other night.
Peter: Really? Dirty?
Tony: Absolutely not. And when you’re 21 I’ll tell you the truth.
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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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Peter: Can I ask a dumb question?
Tony: Better than anyone I know.
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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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Thor: This fat free cake isn’t so bad.
Bruce: Thor, that’s a sponge.
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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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Tony: Can you tell me something I don’t know?
Rhodey: Yesterday I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet.
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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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Bucky: I’m sorry, I’m not very good with emotions.
Steve: What emotion?
Bucky: All of them.
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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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Tony: I did a bad thing.
Loki: Does it affect me?
Tony: No.
Loki: Then suffer in silence.
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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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Steve: Nat told me she’s angry because she has PMS.
Tony: Do you even know what that is?
Steve: Tony, I’m not dumb. It means pissed at men syndrome.
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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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Stephen: Hey is Steve bugging you?
Tony: Kind of.
Stephen: Ok I got you. He won’t bug you anymore after I talk to him.
Tony: Thank you Stephen *turns to Peter* Stephen is how my bitch.
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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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Sam: Bucky and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us.
Steve: What did Bucky do?
Sam: He chased them to the next red light and then reached into his window and-
Bucky: Who wants a steering wheel?
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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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*in lab*
Tony: Oh, sorry! Did I get ya?
Stephen: No! It’s an electric drill! You get me, You kill me!!!
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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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Bucky: When was the last time you had a carrot?
Tony: Well it’s my least favorite type of cake, so rarely. If I absolutely have to, I’ll just eat the frosting.
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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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Tony: Hello, Steve. You’re looking old and sickly.
Steve: So nice of you to greet us, Tony. I thought surely you’d still be crushed under that house in Munchkin land.
Tony: sticks and stones, Steve
Steve: Describing your breakfast?
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tony-marvel-stank · 4 years
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Tony: You have more muscles in your ears than I have in my entire body.
Steve: Never skip ear day, Tony.
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tony-marvel-stank · 5 years
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Tony: Get me a Vodka rocks
Stephen: Tony, it’s breakfast
Tony: and a piece of toast
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tony-marvel-stank · 5 years
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Ned: there are four girls out there fighting over us!
Peter: Yeah over who gets to murder us!
Ned: It’s still pretty cool
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