tora-the-cat

[tora-the-cat]

Someone tries to file a complaint about his presence because. Hey we hate that guy. and they storm out of the council meeting all the way to the hokage tower where they find the Hokage and the terrifying woman that runs the hospital and punched god in the face once watching the meeting in a crystal ball and exchanging bets.

Ideal post 4th war Sakura and Obito frenemieship is. Extremely important to me. Something about their brains being wired similarly. Something about Haruno "oh no my actions have CONCEQUENCES? time to emotionally manipulate all of my precious people, try to kill sasuke, and then have a complete mental breakdoen about it!!' Sakura and Uchiha 'oh shit my actions havd CONCEQUENCES??? fuck fuck fuck uh. Oh! Oh, oh noooo, how TRAGIC, im being MARTYRED instead of having to face Reality being Real for the first time in 20 years, saddddd' Uchiha. Something about Plurality. And hijinks.

[tora-the-cat]

WAIT. something about the cycle of violence and Sasuke being atomically comprised of love love love and Itachi's and Sasuke's parallels on their way out of the village. Something about how they both had to leave Konoha for their own reasons and were their worst selves in those moments, but Itachi was (as always) irreconcilably selfish. He kills his parents, and then he waits for Sasuke to come home. Sasuke tries to sneak out without a word, and when he's caught he thanks Sakura knocks her out painlessly and lays her on a bench. Itachi showed Sasuke no mercy, literally tortured the 6 year old psychologically emotionally and physically for what amounted to days for Sasuke, all in the pursuit of fufilling his own long term-suicide plan, and Sasuke was literally half-possessed and still only hurts Naruto out of hunted necessity.

Something about 'you have hidden potential, that's why I allow you to live. for my sake' vs. 'I spared you on a whim.' and lying while also telling the truth to come off as more cold and calculated and irredeemable, but Itachi did it to manipulate Sasuke into being physically incapable of ever thinking about anything else and Sasuke did it to silently beg Naruto to move on.

#oh no. thinking about sasuke again. i hate itachi so much sometimessss #uchiha itach #uchiha itachi #uchiha sasuke #sasuke uchiha #uchiha brothers #itachi when I get you. when I get you itachi when I get you.

[tora-the-cat]

He is her husbands only living family and Sarada's stay at home annoying ass doting uncle. He's not a shinobi (NOT passing any field-ready-psych-evals, ESPECIALLY while Ino is the one giving them (Ino hates him)), but he IS, in a morbidly ironic strike of fate, the resident Uchiha Elder, and usually the acting head while Sasuke is out and about. He finds this absolutely hilarious. He's HEAVILY involved in clan and village politics and, to the annoyance of everyone involved, he's. REALLY good at politics.

Ideal post 4th war Sakura and Obito frenemieship is. Extremely important to me. Something about their brains being wired similarly. Something about Haruno "oh no my actions have CONCEQUENCES? time to emotionally manipulate all of my precious people, try to kill sasuke, and then have a complete mental breakdoen about it!!' Sakura and Uchiha 'oh shit my actions havd CONCEQUENCES??? fuck fuck fuck uh. Oh! Oh, oh noooo, how TRAGIC, im being MARTYRED instead of having to face Reality being Real for the first time in 20 years, saddddd' Uchiha. Something about Plurality. And hijinks.

#SHIT added this to the wrong reblog. I'll probably delete that later lol <3

[tora-the-cat]

Orochimaru keeps inviting him over for tea because they want to Ask Some Questions about his hashirama cells and Sakura has to talk him down from a fullblown Madara Meltdown Murder That Snake plan by reminding him that, unfortunately, if Orochimaru died or disappeared Sasuke and Naruto would be somewhat upset.

Ideal post 4th war Sakura and Obito frenemieship is. Extremely important to me. Something about their brains being wired similarly. Something about Haruno "oh no my actions have CONCEQUENCES? time to emotionally manipulate all of my precious people, try to kill sasuke, and then have a complete mental breakdoen about it!!' Sakura and Uchiha 'oh shit my actions havd CONCEQUENCES??? fuck fuck fuck uh. Oh! Oh, oh noooo, how TRAGIC, im being MARTYRED instead of having to face Reality being Real for the first time in 20 years, saddddd' Uchiha. Something about Plurality. And hijinks.

[tora-the-cat]

I CANT BELIEVE SAI JUST CALLED SASUKE A HOMO

#SCREEE.SCREEEAMING.

[tora-the-cat]

Obito doesn't get crushed in Kanabi, and Madara's plan is delayed by, like, about a decade until Shisui falls into his grasp. Then he tells the kid that Itachi's in trouble and lets him loose, only for the boy to stumble accross Itachi killing Everyone and then getting killed by a ROOT member. Shisui takes the ROOT member out and takes Itachi's eyes before the ROOT members can get them, and then crawls back to Madara to join his plan. He does the Kyuubi attack when Naruto's little sister, Maki, is born, going down like cannon!Obito except Minato gets 10 more years as hokage and Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto are all early-graduate gennin already. Naruto swears vengance on him and team 7 raises Maki together. Naruto is still Jinchurriki; he was with his mom when the attack happened, and volunteer in place of his sister

#I need to interview 15 y/o me because like. what in the fresh hell is this. it's so sick she's a genius #now if only I could write comprehensive narratives =(

[tora-the-cat]

He probably has a noticeable problem with alcohol but she has WARPED ideas about 'typical and safe' alcohol consumption especially for shinobi and he's half plant monster anyway so it's fine, right? Sakura's relationship with alchohol is complex and probably bad but at least she'll go to whisky tastings with him and have a great time. He spends years passively suicidal at the best of times and she spends them fretting over keeping him alive, for the sake of her teammates more then his own, which is kind of perfect because he only LETS HER for the sake of her teammates. (And also for her sake. because she is. somewhat fond of him.)

Ideal post 4th war Sakura and Obito frenemieship is. Extremely important to me. Something about their brains being wired similarly. Something about Haruno "oh no my actions have CONCEQUENCES? time to emotionally manipulate all of my precious people, try to kill sasuke, and then have a complete mental breakdoen about it!!' Sakura and Uchiha 'oh shit my actions havd CONCEQUENCES??? fuck fuck fuck uh. Oh! Oh, oh noooo, how TRAGIC, im being MARTYRED instead of having to face Reality being Real for the first time in 20 years, saddddd' Uchiha. Something about Plurality. And hijinks.

[tora-the-cat]

Kakashi: Class clowns are usually the weakest link. The easiest to take out. The losers.

Obito, somewhere far in the distance, bullying S class nuke-nin: *sneezes* wow who’s talking shit about me this time =/

#THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES EVEN THOUGH THEY WEREN'T SO GREAT !!

[tora-the-cat]

He eats everything she cooks and defends it stalheartedly, acting like people are UNIMAGINABLY cruel for pretending to hate it and she nods and listens and is the only other person in the world that knows he doesn't actually need to "eat" "food" on only barely has "tastebuds". She's his physical therapist and at first he's lowkey worried she'll keep reminding him of Rin, but thankfully her bedside manner is NIGHTMARISH.

Ideal post 4th war Sakura and Obito frenemieship is. Extremely important to me. Something about their brains being wired similarly. Something about Haruno "oh no my actions have CONCEQUENCES? time to emotionally manipulate all of my precious people, try to kill sasuke, and then have a complete mental breakdoen about it!!' Sakura and Uchiha 'oh shit my actions havd CONCEQUENCES??? fuck fuck fuck uh. Oh! Oh, oh noooo, how TRAGIC, im being MARTYRED instead of having to face Reality being Real for the first time in 20 years, saddddd' Uchiha. Something about Plurality. And hijinks.

[tora-the-cat]

lol yeah. the REAL reason Obito summons the Kyuubi ON RIN'S GRAVE isn't any of the angsty emotional symbolic shit you would think. it's cause he's mentally trying to even the playing field after hearing Kakashi talk so much shit about him basically on his grave.

Kakashi: Class clowns are usually the weakest link. The easiest to take out. The losers.

Obito, somewhere far in the distance, bullying S class nuke-nin: *sneezes* wow who’s talking shit about me this time =/

#uhciha obito #hatake kakashi

[tora-the-cat]

Ideal post 4th war Sakura and Obito frenemieship is. Extremely important to me. Something about their brains being wired similarly. Something about Haruno "oh no my actions have CONCEQUENCES? time to emotionally manipulate all of my precious people, try to kill sasuke, and then have a complete mental breakdoen about it!!' Sakura and Uchiha 'oh shit my actions havd CONCEQUENCES??? fuck fuck fuck uh. Oh! Oh, oh noooo, how TRAGIC, im being MARTYRED instead of having to face Reality being Real for the first time in 20 years, saddddd' Uchiha. Something about Plurality. And hijinks.

#team 7 #naruto #haruno sakura #sakura naruno #uhciha obito #obito uchiha #obito & sakura

[tora-the-cat]

lol I know there's only 8 votes, but I still think it's kinda funny that Haunt The Lonely got so few votes considering. it's one of my most popular Naruto fic series on Ao3

[tora-the-cat]

love rewatching Kabuto and Orochimaru scenes. Best abusive mother representation ever put to cell.

#yakushi kabuto #orochimaru #naruto

[tora-the-cat]

@evilkitten3 #the amount of people in the stands panicking at the thought that the yellow flash might've come back somehow.... or reproduced....#if orochimaru wanted violence so badly he didn't need to kill the kazekage he just needed to tell oonoki that minato had a kid

^Absolutely NUCLEAR option. Orochimaru couldn't do that because Sasuke absoLUTELY would've been colateral. Along with like. The entire forest of death. Like there's just a hole there now.

Kumo-nin at the chunnin exam: ……that kid. The blonde one that beat the hyuuga.

Other kumo-nin: yeah? What about him?

Kumo-nin 1: don’t you think he looks….EXACTLY like the yellow flash?

Kumo-nin 2: ….no

Kumo-nin 1: are you su-

Kumo-nin 2: positive.

Kumo-nin 1: b-

Kumo-nin 2: I mean, unless YOU want to bring this up with Raikage-sama

Kumo-nin 1:

Kumo nin 1: Wow you’re right I have never seen a kid that looks LESS like the yellow flash

#namikaze minato #minato namizake #oonoki #It will never stop being funny that Hiruzen thought that being the son of the 4th hokage would be more dangerous information to have public #then him being the JINCHUURIKI. Like the logic was literally 'how do we hide a secret? With another secret. if they find out Naruto is #the jinchuuriki then they'll stop asking questions before they realize his birth would've literally been a crime if any #other village was consorted'. And he was CORRECT. He was RIGHT to think this way.

[tora-the-cat]

#never done a poll like this before lol but. what can I say that decision sure can paralysis #naruto #sakuino

[tora-the-cat]

Hargreeves prank war as kids. Started when Allison and Luther locked Klaus in a closet as a 'prank', not knowing about his horrifiyingly accute claustraphobia. Thankfully Ben and Five find out about it pretty quickly and get him out, but Five is so angry with no where to put any of it because he doesn't want to hurt One or Three because they're his siblings but he wants to hurt the person who hurt Four because he's his sibling, you know? This resolves with him, nearly vibrating out of his skin and pacing the room while Ben comforts Klaus and angrily muttering something along the lines of 'they want a prank? Oh I'll SHOW THEM a prank!'. It is a testament to how roaring mad Ben is that he doesn't even pretend to object- especially not when Klaus gets pulled back to reality soley to watch in awe as five rants about the logistics of putting mayonaise in their toothpaste tubes and such. That's the start of it- it's just Five vs. Allison & Luther, who do not know where the sudden aggression is coming from because they didn't see the aftermath of their 'prank'. It's only supposed to last a little while, just to cheer Klaus up, but then Klaus joins in, and Five endeavors to stick around until Klaus gets bored.

Klaus doesn't get bored, though, is the thing. Like he gets over his anger with Allison and Luther, but that does not make fucking with them (and Diego) less fun. And then it just becomes....a bonding activity, for Five and Klaus. One of the first three numbers slights one of the last four, and five and klaus just share a Look and spend all night planning recompance. Vanya and Ben obviously know, and obviously cover for them. Allison is the only one of the victims that's realized what's going on, but she can't figure out if it's Klaus or Five- she does not consider they are conspiring. This is just according to plan. This is not helped when Diego and Luther finally do cotten on, but Luther is convinced it's the work of Five and Diego swears up and down it has to be Klaus. Obviously, despite their squabbling, they start paying extra close attention to Klaus and Five for signs of sabotage.

Which is where the Vanya And Ben Back Up Plan comes in, because the only thing 1-3 would suspect less then Klaus and Five working together is Ben and Vanya doing pranks. And, I shall add, having a lovely time doing so.

#tua #hargreeves siblings #five hargreeves #Allison Hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #vanya hargreeves

[tora-the-cat]

me whenever says they're bad at writing: how could you be bad at writing? don't you consume media? Have you not been reading for most of your life? If you know how to read then surely just by nature of existing you've absorbed enough craft to write well. me, who consumes media and has been looking at things for my entire life: Yeah I'm bad at art lol. can't draw for shit. Why the hell would having eyes fix that? Artistry and craft can't be absorbed through cultural osmosis, it has to be studied and practiced and cultivated and loved.

#the horror of getting a little better at something everyday for years. and thus having trouble internalizing that it isn't super common lol #like I have to have this little internal dioluge EVERY TIME someone says they're bad at writing. literally 'how can you be bad at writing? #it's so easy!' *remembers I've been doing it for like 8 years + if someone said the same thing about drawing I'd look at them like an alien #'OH okay. right right right. right right yeah okay' #ink spills