trashbaggage

[trashbaggage]

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

#I held onto an old laptop that died #so now when I’m frustrated at something technical not working #I hit that with a hammer #it’s v therapeutic

[trashbaggage]

have we tried substance abuse my liege

#jester! #fetch me my watermelon edibles and call me your highness

[trashbaggage]

came back from the codependent homoerotic friendship wrong

#false #there’s no ‘coming back’ from the codependent homoerotic friendship #u say ‘yes chf’ and jump back in there

[trashbaggage]

nasa: we're going to shoot three rockets directly at the sun during the total eclipse. for study and research purposes.

me: oh cool

nasa: we have named the rockets apep. this stands for atmospheric perturbations [in the] eclipse path.

me: oh cool

nasa: apep is also the ancient egyptian deity of chaos and darkness, who ceaselessly seeks to extinguish the sun. we launch these rockets directly at the sun in the name of apep.

me: oh... cool?

#look if nasa thinks it’s time to peace out who am i to argue

[trashbaggage]

"your credit card statement is now available" make it unavailable brother

#i do not want to see the available hot reminders of my lack of self control in the area

[trashbaggage]

i think we shouod terraform earth to make it completely flat because itd be fun

#only if it’s double-sided #switching between day and night like a 40s gangster flipping a dime

[trashbaggage]

500-pound stained glass crab sculpture by the late Jackie Leatherbury Douglass and her husband John Frederick Douglass, on display in Baltimore's airport

#i love her #oh to be a shrimp and perceive all her hidden colors

[trashbaggage]

#opening scene of brokeback lidl #*chefs kiss* cinema

[trashbaggage]

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

[trashbaggage]

#jamba juice vs the ennui

[trashbaggage]

“can i be a hater for a second” girl you can kill someone in front of me and id be okay with it be fr

#drown me in haterade like I’m a coach that just won the superbowl

[trashbaggage]

is that simple task bothering you queen

#lol #taskmaster uk #alex horne

[trashbaggage]

#the ‘dealing with minor inconveniences’ hero’s journey

[trashbaggage]

#Baja blast #or secret fourth option i like to call ‘dusty wine cellar’ #which are random bottles i come across #that have been fermenting for at least two years past their expiry date #and take double the recommended dose

[trashbaggage]

So when Jesus rises from his grave everyone rejoices and it becomes a holiday but when I, Count Dracula-

#vlad has gay easter (Halloween) #altho anything catholic is already p gay #so regular easter IS gay easter #but like ‘the staff running this conversion camp are so deep in the closet they’re grinding their knees in the plush carpet as communion’ #kind of gay #so. #I think these tags have gotten away from me a bit

[trashbaggage]

i appreciate the imagery of sleeping with a weapon under your pillow but with my sleeping habits that thing is going to need a seatbelt to stay put where i left it

#when I was first living on my own #I had pepper spray under my pillow #and would sometimes sleepwalk #so I think my brain would make some fun connections #it wasn’t uncommon for me to wake up some mornings #snuggling a frying pan #or with a loose fistful of paprika scattered under my pillows #at least the pan would’ve also made a good weapon so. y’know. close enough there brain hit the showers #and wash off the paprika

[trashbaggage]

cereal tastes better at night because the veil is thin

#the dental dam between me #and the capn’s oops all berries crunchussy #is almost nonexistent at 2am