trashpoetry-tm

[trashpoetry-tm]

Choose you

( an original poem )

In a room filled with people just my type I’d choose you

In a room full of people I could learn to like like I like you I’d choose you

In a room filled with people who could learn to like me the way I like you

I’d choose you

I’d choose you over everyone in the world

And you’d let me

But you wouldn’t choose me

You’d keep me on the hook

Bat you’re eyes

Throw a smile

Meet my eyes

Never reel me in

I’m a back up

A safety

But never a choice

And still I’d choose you

- trash

#poetry #original poetry #poem #poems by me #poets corner #poet #long poem #love poetry #poem about love #love #love poem #romantic poem #romantic poetry #poem about him #sad poem #sad poetry

[trashpoetry-tm]

A house

(An original poem)

You fill me with something I hate more then words know

I am not filled with butterflies at your presence but instead I cough up moth balls and feel the tickle of spider legs down my spine

You consume my every thought with razor sharp teeth and saliva that burns like acid

Every nerve in my body firing all at once

You light me ablaze

I hate being around you because it reminds me of what I’ll never be

Your smile grows while I shrink into the shadows into the past and your laugh echos through these empty halls

Halls that used to be filled with color with photos in vintage frames

A home has because just a house

You make me feel like just a house

You are all the stars in the sky the moon the sun and I am nothing

I am inconsequential

Our eyes used to meet and it was like no one else was there but now your eyes gloss over mine and it’s like everyone is there but me

You see everybody but me

And I’ve come to the conclusion that that’s okay you make me feel worse more then you make me feel better but it’s okay

I hate being around you now

but that’s okay because maybe one day the moth balls will settle

The ph will rise

The halls will fill with color once more and I will be a home again

I lie

- Trash

#poetry #original poetry #poem #poems by me #poets corner #poet #long poem #love poetry #poem about love #love #love poem #romantic poem #romantic poetry #poem about him #sad poem #sad poetry

[trashpoetry-tm]

Before you

(An original poem)

I’ve never been in love before

I’ve never been worried sick about someone after not seeing them for just one day

I’ve never been the girl to count freckles

I’ve never wanted to talk to someone as much as I want to talk to you

I hadn’t been in love before you

I hadn’t been stressed over not answered texts

I hadn’t been giddy at that stupid smiley face emoji

I hadn’t wanted to really kiss someone

I hadn’t been able to look past my affliction to spit enough for me to be able to thing about kissing someone before you

I’ve never ever been in love before

Not before you

So how do I say that when you’re just my friend

And I can’t bear the thought to lose you

I wanted to be in love before

I wanted that feeling with my whole heart

But it was stupid because I forgot that sometimes when you’re in love the other persons not

I’ve never wanted to be out of love before

Not before you

- Trash

#poetry #original poetry #poem #poems by me #poets corner #poet #long poem #love poetry #poem about love #love poem #romantic poem #romantic poetry #love #poem about him #sad poem

[trashpoetry-tm]

D O G O D

( and original poem )

You teach dogs recall

You teach them to sit

To roll over

To be silent

You taught me those things too

You thought me to come running whenever you called

To sit down and take whatever you gave me

To instinctively sit down anytime someone is angry

You taught me to roll over and make space for the things that come before me

To show you the most vulnerable parts of myself

And then you taught me silence

You taught me how it’s easier to speak when spoken to

How my voice was the match to every explosion

That if I’m quite I’m safe

You teach dogs to recall

And god taught me

I think it’s funny you teach dogs most of these things to keep them safe

When god taught me them I never felt more out of place

But I’m no dog

So I listen to no god

-trash

#poetry #original poetry #poem #poems by me #poets corner #poet #long poem #godless #religon #atheist

[trashpoetry-tm]

I’m still her

(Original poetry)

I’m still 4

I’m still 4 in the way that I’m still fascinated by bubbles

My eyes still light up at dogs on the street

I’m still a bit scarred of earth worms

I’m still 8

I’m still 8 in the wayI still love National Geographic

In the way I still take pride in my school work

In the way I still cry over my father

Im still 12

Im still twelve in the I still struggle to breath the night before a test

In the way I still freeze when I’m screamed at

In the way I still apologize for everything I do

In the way I feel guilt for not wanting to play mom

And now I’m 16

And I like baking

And i yell at my brother like he’s my son

And I hit myself when I’m frustrated or upset

And I itch to please

And I love bubbles

And I cry over dad

And I apologize non stop

I’m still her

I never out grew that age

I just earned a new one

- trash

#poetry #original poetry #poem #poems by me #poets corner #poet #long poem #growing up #aging #growth poem #growth #still her

[trashpoetry-tm]

Darling

(An original poem)

Two different times

Two different sentences

“I say it a lot”

Are you sure

I’ve watched you

I’ve heard you

With other people

But I’ve never heard that word

Not till it was aimed at me

Not until it was my name

And then we walked together

Sat together

Laid together

Side by side

Back and stomach to grass

You were taking pictures

I was taking in the scenery

The freckles

The birthmarks

The slope of your nose

The curl of lashes

The pale pink of your lips

And your eyes

I never knew brown could be so interesting

So addicting

Darling

Let it be my name

As long as you’re the one to say

Darling

-Trash

#poetry #original poetry #poem #poems by me #poets corner #poet #love poetry #poem about love #love #love poem #romantic poem #long poem #romantic poetry #a poem for her #poems for her #crush poetry #crush poem

[trashpoetry-tm]

An up hill battle

(An original poem)

Unpleasant imagery to say the least

It’s an up hill battle

That’s what everyone says

That’s what I usually say

But that doesn’t really cover it

It’s like pushing a car up hill

While the shift is in reverse

While the trunk is filled with rocks

And the sun is beating down

Like hiking in sneakers filled with glass

Or being massaged but the masseuse has thumb tacks built into their hands

And they ask if they’re pressing too hard and you say yes and they press

Harder

And it gets harder

sometimes

Sometimes the car is heavier and there’s a brick on the gas

Sometimes the sun is brighter and it feels like your not wearing clothes

Sometimes the glass is sharper and you’re not wearing socks

Sometimes it’s knives not thumb tacks and their hands slam and drag

Sometimes is easier though

Sometimes the trunk is empty and you have sunscreen on

Sometimes someone is helping you push

Sometimes the glass feels more like flat stones

Sometimes there are no knives or thumbtacks but they just press a little too hard

It’s always an up hill battle

But sometimes the hill is less steep

- trash

#poetry #original poetry #poem #poems by me #poets corner #poet #long poem #sad poem #depression poetry #sad poetry #it’s hard

[trashpoetry-tm]

My father’s daughter

(An original poem )

I’m my father’s daughter

I have the need to love the way he does

I am always the first to volunteer

Even if at the expense of myself

Like him

I love all living things big and small like he does

And I will always give some one the benefit of the doubt

Always look past a books cover as he does

I am my father’s daughter

And I share his temper

His quiet

Let it build

Before you explode

Blind

Anger

And I share his irresponsibility

Making a mistake

Not learning

Then making it again

I am my fathers daughter

But I am not my father

I will never leave those who I’ve loved

Who’ve I’ve made love me

Behind

Especially when they need me most

I will not run from my mistakes

Even if repeated

I will take accountability

For my irresponsibility

I might my father’s daughter

But I refuse to be my father

- Trash

#poetry #original poetry #poem #poems by me #poets corner #poet #long poem #family poetry #family poem #dad poem #dad poetry #daddy issues #dad and daughter

[trashpoetry-tm]

No cause No solution

(An orginal poem)

I don’t have a reason to be sad

It just happen and because there’s no cause ,there’s no solution

That’s the worst part I can’t just fix it

I’ll always be like this

I’ll always get like this

Sometimes

For the rest of my life

You get real lonely like this because no matter how many people you talk to

it feels like no one gets it

So you’re just left wanting something

someone to comfort you

To tell you whatever it is you need

to replace whatever’s missing

Cause it always feels like something is missing

Always a little emptier that you should be

Yet still immeasurably heavy

- Trash

#original poem #sad poem #poet #poem #poetry #depression poetry #depression #poem about sadness #sad poetry #poets corner #my poem #sad #idrk anymore

[trashpoetry-tm]

Tell me I’m pretty

(An original poem)

Tell me I’m pretty

Tell me you like my laugh

That you like my smile

Tell me I’m gorgeous

Ethereal

Made from the clouds

From the heavens above

Tell me my average eyes are the most attractive ones you’ve seen

Tell me that I’m at least one of the most attractive people you’ve seen

Top five

Top ten

Top fifty

Tell me I’m pretty

And I don’t mean it in a conceded way

It’s just none but family has ever said it

And I want to hear it from someone who isn’t required to say it

Anyone who isn’t required to say it

I want you to say it

Tell me I’m pretty

- Trash

#poetry #original poetry #poems by me #poem #poets corner #love #love poetry #poem about love #love poem #poem about him #romantic poem #short poem #poet #romantic poetry

[trashpoetry-tm]

Hungry

(An original poem by me)

Trigger for details explaining loss of appetite and not eating

Being hungry is so difficult now

Eating has never been hard for me, never

I mean just ask my doctor, never

But now it’s just so

Tiring

I get hungry so I get up and go into the kitchen

I open every cabinet twice

Look on every shelf of the fridge

The freezer

But nothing looks good

Nothing looks appetizing

I make myself food, I go though with it, I found something, it looks good, I make it.

First bite in

I can’t

I won’t

It’s just too much

I’m nauseous now

I can’t eat it now

Now I can’t eat

I won’t eat

I lay in bed, and I’m hungry, I know I’m hungry, but I know I can’t , I won’t eat

I know what will happen if I go in that kitchen, if I cook myself food

So I don’t

Nesquick bottled milk is a good friend of mine now

And water

And all drinks

Anything I don’t have to chew is a real winner nowa days

But I’m still hungry

I still can’t eat

I won’t eat

And I don’t know why

Because I’d like to

I want to

But even when it’s not nauseating

When I do find something

It’s just so much

It’s too much

I can’t

I won’t

I’ll just stay

Hungry

- Trash

#poetry #original poetry #poems by me #tw depressing stuff #poem #poets corner #poets on tumblr #food poem #eating poetry #struggling #sad poem #mental illness #mentally ill poetry #always reach out

[trashpoetry-tm]

I’m not

(An original poem by me)

Possibly triggering, an existential crisis and mental breakdown in writing

I’m not sad like how I used to be

I’m not as good at it as I used to be

I’m not as good at hiding the sadness as I used to be

Even mom is noticing

I’m not taking care of myself like I used to, brushing my teeth is oh so tiring, and eating seems less like a necessity and more like a chore

I’m not functioning how I’d like to, school was always hard when I got sad, but I’m not doing anything, there’s so much to do and so little time to do it, and I haven’t done any of it.

I’m not doing anything, there’s so much to do and so little time to do it. And I’m not doing any of it.

I’m not sure what I’m doing anymore.

I’m not sure what I’m doing here anymore.

I’m not sure what I’d like to be doing anymore.

I’m not sure why I’m here.

I’m not sure what my purpose is.

I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to wait for one.

Im not taking care of myself, but god is it aggravating when people try and take care of me.

Im not coping, I’m not helping myself, but the thought of going somewhere where people could help me, like the people who do help have suggested, scares me.

I’m confused and lost and scared and angry and sad and nauseous and tired and numb.

I’m not myself

I’m just, not

- Trash

#poetry #original poetry #poems by me #tw depressing stuff #sad poem #poem about sadness #depression poetry #depression #total shutdown #not myself #poets corner #poets on tumblr #poem #original poem #depressing poem

[trashpoetry-tm]

I want to love

(An original poem by me)

I want to love someone.

I want to flirt and make shitty puns and come up with pet names designed to make them blush and laugh

I want to go on dates and I want them to feel a little awkward at first until it doesn’t and when it doesn’t I want it to feel like we’ve known each other forever

I want to love this person at their best, their mediocre, and their worst

I want to hold hands and play footsy under tables and I wanna brush knuckles before one of us initiates the hand holding and I wanna lean on someone’s shoulder and hug someone while we sway side to side with no music playing but the silence is comfortable

I want to run my hands over someone’s arms and shoulders to comfort, to play with fingers and the rings that adorn them, I want to adjust glasses when they tilt, tuck away strands of hair that managed to escape.

I want to send them good morning and good night texts and random ‘I love you’s through the day. I wanna be cheesy for the hell of it and send them love songs paired with a “reminded me of you” text.

I want to love someone so badly, because if I can love someone and I can do it well. Then at least I’m good for something.

And maybe if I love them good enough they’ll love me back just a little.

Maybe I’ll be worth something

If I can love someone right

-Trash

#poetry #original poetry #poems by me #love #poem #long poetry #long poem #love poem #love poetry #romantic poem #romantic poetry #self worth poem

[trashpoetry-tm]

I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:

IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.

1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.

2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.

3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”

4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”

5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.

TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.

Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isn’t a joke, and neither is someone’s life. If you didn’t know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.

[trashpoetry-tm]

No Answer

(Original poem by me)

Tw for talking bad about religion sorta. Just lots of implications of not believing and that’s sensitive for some people so avoid this if it is for you

What do you want from me

I’ll ask up to the sky

What did I do to

For you to make me cry

Again and again and again

I’ll pray to a sky that wont answer

And again and again and again 

I’ll shake my head dust me knees

Turn and go to leave

I don’t care for being tested

I don’t care for following your rules

What’s a god really worth in with in the world

If so many fucking people are  used

Cause my heads my own bully

It’ll chase me in circles 

Laugh in my face and heckle

And I don’t have pride because it won’t let me

Makes it feel like my chest has been emptied 

And I’m told to pray

Told that you’ll take the pain

And I laugh cause it’s so funny

But no ones laughing with me

Cause they all believe that you’ll really help me

And I’m sorry to say I won’t pray the pain away

Cause a some words a few beads it won’t fix how I wish to bleed

Yet here I am trying anyway 

Cause I just want it to go away

I’ll try every fucking option and when it fails

They’ll say try again

But I won’t that’s not your body 

That’s fucking bread

-Trash

#poetry #original poetry #poems by me #poets corner #religon #atheist #sadness

[trashpoetry-tm]

That’ll Work

(Original poem/song by me)

Trigger warning for suicidal ideation and mention of self harm sorta

Hey you wanna know something

I want to die

Not continuously or 24/7

It’s just sometimes

I don’t see the the point, the worth in breathing

Think I’d be better in the tub

Cut and bleeding

But that’s when it’s bad

And right now it’s good

For now it’s good

Right now it’s good

But it won’t be

Not forever

When there’s highs there’s lows

And when that happens I tend to want to live no more

I dissociate

I un-associate

With the things and ones I love

No need to be present when life so rough

It easier not to feel then feel to much

Although feelings are good for writing songs that people love

That I can love

When feelings get to be too much

I can write some words

Play a cord

Maybe sing some more

It helps me feel better

Like my hearts not in a blender

Or actually that’s better

Then what I feel

When I can feel

Cause when there's highs there’s lows

And fuck do my lows blow

So give me a pill

Not an xanny or a perc

I’ll take a melatonin though that’ll work

Cause I do and I don’t want to die

So I think the in between is when I shut my eyes for the night

Sleep for days ain’t that nice

Wake up when my lows are high

So give me a pill

But not a xanny or a perc

Just some good old fashioned melatonin

That’ll work

-Trash

#poetry #original poetry #poems by me #depression #tw depressing stuff #write my feelings #sadness

[trashpoetry-tm]

important !! please read and reblog !!

it’s unfair of us to have platforms and not use it to speak up for palestinians. i have resources provided below for how you can educate yourself on the ethnic cleansing that is happening in israel right now and how you can help.

educate yourself

thread on what is occurring in sheikh jarrah, another thread

thread of infographics about misconceptions regarding israel and palestine

tw bombing video of al aqsa mosque being bombed

tw violence, tw bombing, tw shooting video of palestinians in al aqsa mosque

tweet explaining importance of al aqsa

a website where you can learn more about palestine

a video breaking down the history of the israeli oppressing palestinians

video of palestinian explaining the importance of spreading awareness

tw violence video of 16 yo palestinian boy being forcefully evicted from his home by israeli solders

tiktok of palestinian speaking about what is going on in her country. please see the links in her bio for more information— tiktok will not let me copy and paste her linktree

tiktok of palestinian speaking on situation in gaza

instagram page for jewish voices for peace, an organization working for liberation and justice for palestine

infographics explaining how to be an ally for palestine

some of the posts are triggering instagram of journalist sharing what is happening in palestine

free ways to help if you cannot donate

do NOT sign petitions !! they are not accounted for in the middle east and do nothing.

watch this video to donate, it’s 3 hours long but just playing it in the background can help

watch this video to donate, it’s 1 hour long but just playing it in the background can help

if you are from the U.K., follow these instructions to call local MPs into action

if you are from the U.S., text RESIST to 50409 to urge congress to help palestine

thread of dua’as muslims can make to pray for palestinians

boycott israeli products

donate— it is better to donate directly to people rather than organizations, but i do have a few organizations listed.

do NOT donate to change.org

help children and hospitals affected by gaza bombing

help hungry children in palestine

donate to palestine child relief fund, known to be reputable

donate to united palestinian appeal, a direct charity

donate directly to journalist injured in gaza

ramadan zakat fund for palestinians in gaza

raise money for palestinian woman escaping toxic household

i’ll add more links as i continue to find reliable sources and proper donations. please dm me other resources and i can add them to this list. if anything here is not trustworthy, please let me know immediately and i will take it down. free palestine until it’s backwards, pray for palestinians who do not know whether they will be safe in their own country.

last but not least, if you are a zionist, unfollow me immediately. i don’t need you on my tumblr. and do not use what is happening in palestine right now to be anti-semitic.