trashwizardchampion

trashwizardchampion

cedric died and all i got was money and a cup

Emily. 26. She/Her. Ace. INTP. Aquarius. My hobbies include quoting Aly & AJ lyrics, defending Hades, and being hotter than you.

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trashwizardchampion·5 months agoPhoto

quinn-vica:

feminists-against-feminism:

vicroc4:

mooncustafer:

programmerhumour:

SQL injection via car.

Little Bobby Tables’ got his driver’s licence.

lol

I am lost. programmer memes are next level

TLDR, the red light cameras actually read license plate numbers. So when they read the code it executed the command which dumped the entire database of saved information.

So depending on how often they back it up, thats a lot of fines the city isn’t going to be able to collect.

trashwizardchampion
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trashwizardchampion·5 months agoText

sorrynotsorrybi:

itistimetodisappear:

So my pet pufferfish transitioned today

I know lions are usually the example used to debunk the whole ‘being trans makes no biological sense’ agrument but please let me introduce another trans animal, the pea pufferfish

Bee here, (as pictured before transition) was female for the longest time. Females have white bellies. But one day I woke up and boom, bee had a black stripe down their belly, a sure sign of a Male fish.

Turns out pea puffers actually change sex depending on their social environment. In fact, they’re sexless when young and can develope into males, females and anything in between. Some even remain sexless.

I’ve only had bee for about three weeks. In the shop, bee was surrounded by other puffers. The ratio of males to females caused bee produce a lot of feminine hormone, and so bee became female at maturity. But bee lives alone in my tank now. And without others around him, he produced Male hormone and is now Male!!!!

Congrats little man 🎉🎉🎉🎉

Fucking superb, you funky little trans puffer

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trashwizardchampion·5 months agoText

mehofkirkwall:

molteniridium:

micaxiii:

daglout:

brattylikestoeat:

official-liberty-prime:

aesclepianbanshee:

thatthinginyourshoe:

rosswoodpark:

rosswoodpark:

Everyone agrees! Your intestines squirming around like eels in your belly is horrifying!

IM SORRY THEY FUCKING WHAT NOW?

The racks even have hooks to keep them from squirming right off and onto the floor apparently. They desperately want to escape our bodies

Intestines are muscles, and function involuntarily. If your muscles did not squirm around, then they wouldn’t be able to move food through them, thus you wouldn’t gain any nutrients from anything you eat, and the food would spoil and make you sick. I agree the squirmy wormies are a bit unsettling, but hey it’s actually really good for you! Your intestines work so hard for it! Please give them a little love.

I don’t like that get them out

Okay…this is unsettling.

This post is actually my nightmare

Breaking News! You are full of eels!

#wait til you hear about how they put them back#they just stuff them back in and the mesenteric lining slowly pulls them back into place#no helping required#so it 100% looks like a bunch of squiggly eels getting comfortable in their space again (via lampfaced)

we all make jokes about humans being weird, and aliens finding them strange as hell

but honestly we’re very creepy and strange creatures

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trashwizardchampion·5 months agoText

big-dick-moneybags:

annoying ass nerd guys after Suicide Squad came out: ugh every girl is gonna be harley quinn for halloween now how basic 🙄

annoying ass nerd guys after seeing joker:

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trashwizardchampion·5 months agoText

disgruntledmushroom:

chefpyro:

having an opinion on philosophy makes you a philosopher. even if you think philosophy is stupid and pointless, THAT’S A PHILOSOPHY. you can’t escape

suddenly Scotchtape’s comic makes sense to me

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trashwizardchampion·5 months agoText

turingsghost:

i love that Untitled Goose Game is becoming a cultural phenomenon solely from the fact that you play a cute cell-shaded goose and are encouraged to be generally awful

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trashwizardchampion·5 months agoPhoto

totallynotmisha:

2002bape:

YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.

please read this whole thing.

trashwizardchampion
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trashwizardchampion·5 months agoText

cryopearl:

raccoonskoodilypoopdungeon:

discountalien-pancake:

fandomshatewomen:

image

LMAO DREAMWORKS IS TRASH. As an Asian violinist who was excited about seeing this movie before, I just wanna say FUCK YOU. FUCK WHOEVER ALLOWED FOR THIS TO BE IN THE FINAL CUT. Dreamworks finally got the galls to make a movie starring an Asian girl and they decided to put in this Chinese imperialistic agenda against my country!! GREAT //s

For those who didn’t know: that above is the nine-dash line, a controversial and wildly false statement by China, claiming that the Eastern Sea (which belongs to Vietnam alongside other SEAsian countries) was actually their territory according to some obscure history that only they seem to remember - I wonder why. The whole thing an entire mess and a half, but it did die down some time ago. I honestly didn’t expect to see it again, let alone be reminded of it in this seemingly lighthearted family movie of a WESTERN company.

A lot of Vietnamese people are calling to boycott Dreamworks and for this, I completely understand why. They should’ve known better, there’s no excuse to this.

~Mod L

Ugh I was so fucking excited about this movie and now I’m sickened.

Further context: China is trying to claim those waters because they contain lucrative oil deposits and they want to drill in Vietnam’s waters. In enforcing that false territory, they routinely bully fishing boats with fucking warships.

They’ve also bullied the Philippines because the West Philippine Sea contains similar respurces. They have also routinely bullied fishing boats with warships. It’s gotten so bad that Japan has agreed to patrol the waters to make sure China stays in Chinese waters and isn’t going into Southeast Asia.

And remember how China'a been making concentration camps for Muslims? They’ve intentionally removed Mindanao, an island with a predominantly Muslim population, from the maps in the movie.

Please do not support this film in anyway. Filipinos are also boycotting it.

Please reblog and spread.

because it wasnt mentioned here, the movie title is abominable

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trashwizardchampion·5 months agoPhoto

aliov:

This is from “Old Gays Try Grindr” and i’m dying

trashwizardchampion
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trashwizardchampion·5 months agoText

sunfortune:

sunfortune:

also i just found my favorite harry potter character, Ali Bashir, who was mentioned one(1) time in the fourth book and all he wanted to do was export his flying carpets to england so they can stop looking like fools riding around on broomsticks BUT the england wizard government banned them by classifying carpets as “muggle artifacts”??? like what? hes trying to help YOU

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WOW SAY THAT

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trashwizardchampion·5 months agoText

dankxsinatra:

unclefather:

sad-pandad:

unclefather:

unclefather:

Young, dumb and full of gum

gum stays in your body for 7 years and i eat a lot of it

That’s actually a myth! If you went digging through your yummy shits you’ll find chewed gum looking about the same as it did when you swallowed it!

my whats? 

This is the post that cost Verizon 1.1 billion

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