trenchcoatbees

[trenchcoatbees]

A tad bit tmi nsfw ish under the cut

I lost my fucking vibrator and I am so fucking mad like I just got that thing like a month ago and I cannot find it to save my life

#I hate it here

[trenchcoatbees]

Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

[trenchcoatbees]

#black butler (sadly)

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[trenchcoatbees]

starting out strong

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oh shit, it's 3/21/23, 32123, palindrome day

[trenchcoatbees]

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

[trenchcoatbees]

the french beatles

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i am so normal

[trenchcoatbees]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[trenchcoatbees]

evil is necessary

#metalocalypse #toki wartooth

[trenchcoatbees]

Cons of having the same blog for 10+ years is every now and then you will get a notification for a post that someone has liked that you made in like middle or highschool and you want to delete your entire blog

#not that its a bad thing #just ripped some memories back to the surface

[trenchcoatbees]

#me potentially tomorrow since my store remodel is done and I was hired for that alone

[trenchcoatbees]

My mall had a store called 'Foreign Import' and it was just various things that you would never find in my state of Alabama for cheap but it shut down again BUT we are getting a Miniso where the store was so I am excited because the only place where you can find blind boxes and other cute things is Books A Million or Barnes and Noble and the closest one of those stores is like an extra 30 minutes from my mall which is already an hour drive to get to from my middle of nowhere town

[trenchcoatbees]

have i ever shown u people my hand sofa

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[trenchcoatbees]

*tamp tamp*

ah i see youve noticed me tamping down the soft earth