tya2301

[tya2301]

“I’m too scared to admit this to anyone but yes, I want love. I want to be so madly in love with someone who is hopelessly in love with me too. It’s what I crave, it’s what my heart and soul ache for. I want to shower this person with so much love and affection, build a beautiful life with them. Help them fulfil their dreams, be a shoulder for them to cry on, be their best friend, their lover, I want to be somebody’s everything. No I don’t want something casual, no I don’t want to just fuck, no I don’t wanna be friends with benefits. I just wanna love them more than anyone has ever loved them. I wanna love them so much that they didn’t know it was possible for someone to fall for them that way. I want to make them smile, make them laugh, learn their secrets and fears, I want to be their safe space. This is what I’m looking for. But I can’t admit it, nobody wants that anymore. I’m out here looking for something that doesn’t exist anymore. Maybe it never did in the first place, but I do know now, I wasn’t made for this world.

— What goes in my head when they say I’m not looking for anything serious

#unrequited love

[tya2301]

Can you leave me?

Don't sugar coat it

If it wasn't anything

Then don't fake it

Don't tell me

I was something 

More than a one-nighter

If it was only for your lust

Then so be it

"I'm afraid to hurt you" you said

But I insisted on the truth

The naked and cruel truth

Again... all is unfair in love

I missed everything about you

That first day without you... 

Who knew how those feelings could grow

from seeds of friendship? 

Can you just leave me

So I stop hoping? 

So I stop hurting? 

Because I don't have

the strength to leave you.

#unrequited love #i'm not the one #sugar-coat

[tya2301]

Pushing the brakes

So... I'm pushing my brakes now

Just like it was going down

Uluwatu cliff...

Pushing them really hard

And I'm scared

the car might catapult

or fall off the cliff

but this is the only way

I can survive with the least scars.

Yes, you did tell me that it was the end...

And I did listen.

But I saw kindness in your fear

So I waited for you

to change your mind...

But I know now that

for you I am not the one.

So, as much as I would like to give you more time

I know my worth

and I should rather give myself

to someone worthy of me.

For to have you

as the closest man to me

physically and mentally

in the last six years

and yet to know

nothing about you

is definitely a dead end.

You must follow your path

And I must follow my instincts

I appreciate your gentleness

and the way you handled me with care

If one day you suddenly

realize my worth, my good intentions

Just follow the treasure map in your heart

And you will find me again.

#unrequited feelings #the end of the affair #self worth #i'm not the one

[tya2301]

Shackled

You're coming closer

The magnet of the universe

pulling us to each other

And I'm afraid..

that I won't be in control of what's to come

that I'm just an object of love on the rebound for you

that I'm the flavor of the day

You're invading my mind

But I know you're trouble

I know you'll create an imbalance

in my tranquil pond

And I want to run away

cut all ties with you

but I'm shackled by your energy

and aloof air

So I'm just continuing the ride

while contemplating how to prepare for the fall

Speeding the rollercoaster ride instead of braking

[tya2301]

Anticipation

You are the sound in my head

The voice in my heart

The touch which I imagine

I sleep with you in my mind

I wake up with your illusion

My eyes are curious to see you

My senses are bursting with anticipation

I am weary of life but not of love

I am sceptical of the everlasting 

...  but I believe in miracles

I mock my feelings and yet I trust them

You are not what I want..but

maybe you are what I need

You are not my match...but perhaps

you are what the universe sent to me...

[tya2301]

If only we could let go of our past completely...

[tya2301]

Tough girls don't cry

You left without a warning

You didn't come back

You didn't call

I wanted to cry but 

tough girls don't cry

So I asked you to call me

I begged you to see me

I wanted to say I missed you

But tough girls don't need anyone

And I felt like my life line

was cut off

I was gasping for air

But you still didn't call

So I closed myself up

I locked my heart

I killed the hurt

And the feelings eroded

Yet my world has changed

I don't walk, I float

I don't sleep 

I didn't want to feel

But I can still feel longing

Will my world ever be the same again?

#tough girl #longing for you #left alone

[tya2301]

"love" undervalued

Remember I told you many times not to use the word" love" so easily?

You don't love me.

Love doesn't erode in 1 day, just because you're upset at me.

Love means you respect me by letting me talk to you, not cutting all communication.

Love means saying goodbye properly

Loving me means you know I deserve better than this.

Never undervalue the word "love". You make the word cheap.

#love means #erode #undervalued

[tya2301]

I can still feel

Thank you for making me feel loved

For giving in, being patient

For not pushing me

to do anything I didn't want to do

Thank you for giving me space

For trying to understand me

Even though I can't be understood

For your compliments

You have touched my inner core

You have lighted up my day

And reminded me that I can STILL feel

#feeling loved #still feeling it #thankful #touched #patience

[tya2301]

Snow in April

You came in my life like snowfall in April

Pure, unexpected, an unwanted thrill

Your persistence made me smile

The tender flakes on my face made me giggle

And yet I always wondered if maybe 

You were just an anomaly to be ignored

A trick from the universe

[tya2301]

Faint smelling perfume

You are a faint smelling perfume Like the smell of jasmine flowers Or lilies...or wild roses

And to me... like them, you're not beautiful Nor perfect But in the early morning When I walk in my garden Your smell reminds me of nature Of good things that happened And you make my day

#you make my day #you make me smile

[tya2301]

So the wild flowers in front of your gate withered. They had lost their petals and some of their leaves.... Then yesterday suddenly it rained very hard...and today I saw some new leaves growing again. Nature found its way to save the flowers... today it rained again... But you opened your gate and you didn't see the flowers' beauty. You had seen much more beautiful flowers...and they too died from neglect.

#neglect #dying love

[tya2301]

Keep love safe

Love is hiding somewhere Love can't be seen, but it can be felt Love grows in the strangest places Love grows like the wild flowers you never planted Love is just there....and it's there, even though you don't see it

But like anything unattended, it will die If you ignore it Even the wild flowers that grow need water every day You can't say: "I'll just let it be and let's see" It needs your attention and effort, like all things that are valuable

So the next time you catch a glimpse of love, keep it safe, give it water and attention...and it won't wither away.

#unrequited love

[tya2301]

Armor

I imagine that you are kind And that your are sympathetic ... empathetic, caring. You want to make a difference.. Make a statement.. I see your soft exterior,  then the hard lining... and inside, deep inside I see your vulnerability. You used to hurt easily...or are still prone to hurt. You put on that armor, that shield, and sometimes even that mask.. One must peel you layer by layer... Then see you naked... and you would feel uncomfortable... But I know that beneath it all, you are pure... And that is why I'm still here... in anticipation of what's to come.

#you are amazing #guarded #armor #pure #anticipation

[tya2301]

No more...

Beneath my fear... My mistrust My hatred My scepticism My disbelief... Beneath it all, I'm still that woman you connected with in the rain And somehow, somewhere, our souls will be connected again But please no more lies... No more.

#lies #mistrust #fear #soulmate #soul marks #connection #trepidation

[tya2301]

My virtual crush

You were always there In the fathoms of my meditation In the dreams I couldn't remember You are my sounding board My debate opponent who lets me lose.. without me realising :-) My mobile and living Wikipedia You are the free spirit I wanted to be I didn't search for you because I was afraid I'd lose control I didn't find you because you didn't want to be controlled You were always there in the hidden spaces of my memories In the quick sand of my longings

#crush #virtual #longing for you #you are amazing

[tya2301]

I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has.

Unknown (via help-n-quotes)