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Umbrella Academy—Viktor’s identity

Tw: discussion of trans identity & deadnames

So. I’ve seen a couple people rewrite their fanfics after Elliot and Viktor’s coming out as trans, and changing season 1 Vanya to Viktor, adjusting the pronouns to be respectful. It’s thoughtful, but I’m not sure it’s necessary. Sort of a ‘he’s a little confused but he’s got the right spirit’ meme, maybe? And here’s what I mean:

Viktor is trans, which means there was a point in his life that he used she/her pronouns and a different name. I think changing the character he used to be to reflect who his character currently is, is sort of…unnecessary? Because it implies that his past happened in a different way, and to me sort of implies that he has gone by the name Viktor and the pronouns he/him even in previous seasons…almost implying that he’s always been Viktor. Which isn’t true. Even if Viktor (and Elliot) was always trans, if he was always sort of aware of something uncomfortable in his identity, that doesn’t mean he was always Viktor—he had to figure out who he was, and come to terms with his identity and relax into it. It’s a sort of character development that follows behind the actor’s personal identity and coming out.

Years ago, (and I wish I could find it, but I will look around for it) I read an article by a trans man, and essentially it was: I am proud to be trans. In pride, there’s always a lot of gay specific pride (as there should be) but he said trans pride was still sort of misunderstood by cis people, even if they were both cis and queer. Sort of a, who would want to go thru transition/assuming that a trans man would be happier if he had been born as a man?. But the thing is, he was not just proud to be a man, he was proud to be a trans man—and while he’s dealt with dysphoria, he never felt that he was necessarily born in the wrong body. He was a little girl and he did little girl things and he made friends with other little girls; he identified as a girl. And as he grew, and he came into his own identity, that changed and he started going by he/him pronouns—but he said he wasn’t ashamed of his past as a girl, and he was proud to be a trans man specifically. He loved the girl he used to be. He’s proud she started questioning herself and transitioned to become a boy. That doesn’t mean he wishes he were born as a boy. He liked being himself, as he was; someone who used to be a girl, but wasn’t anymore. All of his experiences pulled together to make him who he was, and if he had been born as a boy, he would have had different experiences, and maybe even a different identity.

I guess what I’m saying is, it sort of feels like erasing that past of Viktor as a girl sort of dismisses that he is a trans man even while it reiterates that he is a man. it’s okay to refer to Viktor’s past self as someone who used to go by she/her in the past, even while respecting who he is and always was.

And to over explain myself, let’s say for instance, if it was Luther who had Viktor’s line during the bachelor party, he could have said, ‘Remember when I used to marry Viktor’s action figures when we were kids?’ And that would have been correct and respectful, because otherwise he would be deadnaming his brother. But if they had decided for some reason to show a flashback of that scene, and shown a little Luther getting caught by another little boy labeled Viktor—that would be confusing and disingenuous and maybe even a little inadvertently disrespectful. Because it would be implying, just like rewriting season one or two fanfiction, that Viktor has always been Viktor, or that he is a cis man, when he isn’t and that isn’t a bad thing. But it’s also not something to hide or change. It’s not only okay to be trans, but I think it’s worth celebrating.

I hope all this makes sense.

That having been said, I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong to be rewriting your fanfiction—it’s fanfiction. You can do literally whatever you want to with it. I think it’s actually sort of kind. And that not every trans person is the same, and maybe some would even prefer it, so do whatever you think fits. I just think the points above are something to consider, at least.

To note: Currently, I don’t think that I’m trans, but I’m sure that I’m queer, even if I don’t quite know who I am yet. so if anyone who is trans would like to reply with any input, go ahead.

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Klaus Hargreeves’s REAL superpower isn’t straddling both sides of the Veil or resuscitating and regenerating bodily damage or astral projection or levitation or even conjuring and exorcising ghosts….

It’s being able to get along with ANYONE and EVERYONE, lol.  It’s making people who hate everyone find him tolerable. It’s his irrepressible affability. Ingratiating is too strong and negatively-connoted a word, but it’s in that ballpark.  Got a new dangerous foe? Just send in Klaus, the funky queer Human Hug, to charm them into feeling relaxed, heard, and valued. 

“Why am I smiling and when did I start smiling?” they think, baffled. Because Klaus, that’s why. The “King of Death” is better than anyone else at making others feel ALIVE. 

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The funniest part of Five almost telling Luther happy birthday in his wedding speech is that they have the same goddamn birthday

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I’m trying to figure out how to articulate how gutted and desolate I feel about the wedding reception scene, where Klaus goes to every single sibling shy of Allison and tries to convince them to figure out a way to save the world with Reginald.

I’m trying to understand why it makes me nauseous and weepy that he asks Five, and Five is for once the one who has given up and is seeking solace in substance abuse, and Klaus lets him with the first expression of annoyed disappointment I’ve ever seen on his face toward a sibling. 

I’m trying to process how I feel that Lila treated him like an agent of malice and threatened to torture him if he spoke to Diego.

I’m trying to not actually outright sob that he called Luther “baby” and “Lulu” and begged him as desperately as during the days when he was stealing money and valuables for another fix, to consider his new addiction–a fictitious, delusional idea of a real bond with their father, in order to “find his purpose”–and Luther is so desperate to not spend the end of their lives in any form of discomfort (understandable and actually, an interesting mirror) that he bellows at Klaus so loudly, that Klaus ends up curled into a ball, ears covered, audibly whimpering.  It was an exact replica of the times in S1 (in the rave) and S2 (being shot at by Commission agents) when he was covering his ears and freezing from a PTSD flashback.  The way when Luther apologizes and hugs him, he just hangs there in his arms and immediately placates with “sure, that sounds nice,” the way he is just USED to being dismissed out of hand by loved ones, even when they have not even a day of existence in all the universe left….

I’m trying to explain to myself and anyone reading this why this makes me sadder and sicker than the actual “bus-ball” scene in which he repeatedly killed himself to find that sense of purpose, of human value. 

How desperate do you have to still be, to be valued by somebody else, anybody else, that you’ll be complicit with your cardinal abuser, and help him to recruit your siblings in perpetuating that abuse? 

I’m the first person to say Klaus has grown in leaps and bounds this season. And yes, I know that his suicide in the White Buffalo Room marks that he has broken free of Reginald and really is beginning to grasp that he has value irrespective of all Reginald pretended to offer. But it’s still AGONIZING. 

And it makes me sad. It makes me sad that he still has this IMMUTABLE capacity to LOVE.  That he goes to Sparrow Ben and softens him and comforts him, gets him to “open up his kimono.”  That he, ONLY he, pays any attention to Allison, and escorts her onto the dance floor, WITHOUT snubbing Viktor:

That he treats Sloane with unreserved happiness, with compassion, and officiates the wedding.  Like look at his face in the bg when she comes off the elevator: 

Good people, no matter how fucked up they are, should not have to endure this. They should not have to scramble for scraps of self-respect, cycling forever downward in self-destructive spirals. I want someone to come pluck Klaus out of all this, yes even after the reset, and just save him from a family that loves him but cannot help him, or each other, or themselves. 

#read later

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Upon rewatching the umbrella academy I realised Luther didnt actually bring the moon up that much in season 1? and in hindsight when he did it was kinda understandable. dude was literally on the moon for 4 years. THE MOON. Sloane was right that is cool.

when we talk about Fives isolation in the apocalypse we’re sympathetic but because Luther was a primary source of conflict in s1 his experience of zero human interactions for 4 years is treated as a mild inconvenience he should just get over

like 1. he was on the moon for 4 years and had been told he was doing important work. 2. the cause of the original apocalypse actually WAS moon related in the end. And 3. Turns out Reginald literally had a secret base on the moon so wtf

that montage of him slowly going insane on the moon over 4 years really puts things perspective. S1 Luther could have been much much more mentally unstable than he was

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Five & Klaus + parallels (part 11)

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the introduction of the hargreeves in s1e1 makes me go insane every goddamn time. the way each part of viktor’s phantom of the opera medley fits the person it’s introducing so perfectly. the numbers being first with their names in quotes. luther watching the sun rise as he gets the news that the man who put him up there on the moon is dead. diego with his bloody knife telling the family that they’re safe. the paparazzo asking allison if she’ll wear valentino to the funeral. klaus’s speeding ambulance ride, presumably minutes after leaving rehab. and the way it skips from four to seven, because already you’re thinking, what the hell happened to five and six?

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alright so we all talk about how five is taken for granted and how everyone is so quick to blame him every time there’s an apocalypse or something in the time line gets fucked up. and while we all understand how that must hurt, can we talk about the extent to which it’s affecting him?

I couldn’t find a video of this sequence, but remember this? It’s after Five wakes up, hungover from sloane and luther’s wedding. The way he remembers it, he got extremely drunk and said something extremely humiliating or offensive. He remembers everyone staring at him like they either hate him or simply don’t care about what he has to say. It seems like they’re judging him. They almost look disappointed.

In reality, they all lovingly tease him for being a fun and affectionate drunk.

I’m surprised that not a lot of people talk about this scene because there’s clearly still hints of paranoia and insecurity that linger with Five. He has his family back, but their bond is still fragile. He expects them to fall apart and to turn against him, in a sense. He doesn’t think he has their unconditional love. It just makes me so sad that he doesn’t feel entirely loved and appreciated, considering all he wanted in the 45 years he spent alone in the apocalypse was to get back to them. He just wants his family back.

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KH

commission info / instagram / prints

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Umbrella Academy—Viktor’s identity

Tw: discussion of trans identity & deadnames

So. I’ve seen a couple people rewrite their fanfics after Elliot and Viktor’s coming out as trans, and changing season 1 Vanya to Viktor, adjusting the pronouns to be respectful. It’s thoughtful, but I’m not sure it’s necessary. Sort of a ‘he’s a little confused but he’s got the right spirit’ meme, maybe? And here’s what I mean:

Viktor is trans, which means there was a point in his life that he used she/her pronouns and a different name. I think changing the character he used to be to reflect who his character currently is, is sort of…unnecessary? Because it implies that his past happened in a different way, and to me sort of implies that he has gone by the name Viktor and the pronouns he/him even in previous seasons…almost implying that he’s always been Viktor. Which isn’t true. Even if Viktor (and Elliot) was always trans, if he was always sort of aware of something uncomfortable in his identity, that doesn’t mean he was always Viktor—he had to figure out who he was, and come to terms with his identity and relax into it. It’s a sort of character development that follows behind the actor’s personal identity and coming out.

Years ago, (and I wish I could find it, but I will look around for it) I read an article by a trans man, and essentially it was: I am proud to be trans. In pride, there’s always a lot of gay specific pride (as there should be) but he said trans pride was still sort of misunderstood by cis people, even if they were both cis and queer. Sort of a, who would want to go thru transition/assuming that a trans man would be happier if he had been born as a man?. But the thing is, he was not just proud to be a man, he was proud to be a trans man—and while he’s dealt with dysphoria, he never felt that he was necessarily born in the wrong body. He was a little girl and he did little girl things and he made friends with other little girls; he identified as a girl. And as he grew, and he came into his own identity, that changed and he started going by he/him pronouns—but he said he wasn’t ashamed of his past as a girl, and he was proud to be a trans man specifically. He loved the girl he used to be. He’s proud she started questioning herself and transitioned to become a boy. That doesn’t mean he wishes he were born as a boy. He liked being himself, as he was; someone who used to be a girl, but wasn’t anymore. All of his experiences pulled together to make him who he was, and if he had been born as a boy, he would have had different experiences, and maybe even a different identity.

I guess what I’m saying is, it sort of feels like erasing that past of Viktor as a girl sort of dismisses that he is a trans man even while it reiterates that he is a man. it’s okay to refer to Viktor’s past self as someone who used to go by she/her in the past, even while respecting who he is and always was.

And to over explain myself, let’s say for instance, if it was Luther who had Viktor’s line during the bachelor party, he could have said, ‘Remember when I used to marry Viktor’s action figures when we were kids?’ And that would have been correct and respectful, because otherwise he would be deadnaming his brother. But if they had decided for some reason to show a flashback of that scene, and shown a little Luther getting caught by another little boy labeled Viktor—that would be confusing and disingenuous and maybe even a little inadvertently disrespectful. Because it would be implying, just like rewriting season one or two fanfiction, that Viktor has always been Viktor, or that he is a cis man, when he isn’t and that isn’t a bad thing. But it’s also not something to hide or change. It’s not only okay to be trans, but I think it’s worth celebrating.

I hope all this makes sense.

That having been said, I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong to be rewriting your fanfiction—it’s fanfiction. You can do literally whatever you want to with it. I think it’s actually sort of kind. And that not every trans person is the same, and maybe some would even prefer it, so do whatever you think fits. I just think the points above are something to consider, at least.

To note: Currently, I don’t think that I’m trans, but I’m sure that I’m queer, even if I don’t quite know who I am yet. so if anyone who is trans would like to reply with any input, go ahead.

#the umbrella academy #elliot page #viktor hargreeves #trans #🏳️‍⚧️ #the umbrella academy season three #tua season 3 #tua #my thoughts

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i love Viktor’s coming out so much. he tells his siblings and they all accept it immediately. but they also all have unique reactions that are realistic. Luther wants to throw a party so Viktor knows he is loved, Diego doesn’t want to make a big deal about it, and Alison is worried about not noticing. though not all queer people want to be received in all or any of these ways, they are all positive and just happy, in a show that doesn’t tend to have a lot of positivity.

i also love that Viktor’s coming out is not used to push a plot or as a punchline. it just happens and then the show moves on. so much of queer media is focused in romance or coming of age stories where being queer is integral to the story. though i love this type of media, and it’s great to see queer people represented like this and have queer journeys shared, the lgbtq+ community is greatly underrepresented in other genres. so even though the umbrella academy isn’t the only queer representation or anything like that, it’s still unique in how it portrays queer characters.

anyway moral of the story, the umbrella academy gives us great queer representation.

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The Umbrella Academy Season 2 + soundtrack.

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I noticed that in s1, Grace wore a lot more fluid and rounded shapes. Her white apron had scalloped edges, and she wore pearls. Her pink polka dot skirt was A-line, but it had folds and volume to it. Even her shirt had wrinkles and folds where it interacted with her body

However, in s3, her white apron has rigidly straight edges, almost artificially so, and her dress, while displaying organic patterns, still has a measure of stiffness and uniformity to it. As well as this, the blue pinafore (?) she wears on top of it also flares out to be an A-line skirt, but it's very rigid and straight too, not organic like her s1 counterpart. The lines of it where it covers her chest are also very rigid and give her an overall more artificial look. Her second outfit is no exception to this artificial straightness and perfection that her outfits are this season

Overall she Looks more like a robot in the ways that they've chosen to style her this season, beyond just her mannerisms. I think that really reflects how the Sparrows treated her, too

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Why was Klaus so annoying with wanting everyone to forgive Reginald? that is literally their ABUSER

Say you had a loved one who passed.  How would you feel if they came back to life?

That’s kind of how it feels to have an abusive parent who seems to be getting better.  When you realize you’re never going to have a father/mother who loves you the way you needed to be loved growing up, you absolutely go through a period of mourning.  It feels like you lost someone who never existed.  It’s hard to explain.  And every day of your life, you’re left with that unfulfilled need.  If your dream came true and your parent started to love you unconditionally, wouldn’t you want to believe it was real?

Abusers like Reginald are amazing at recruiting people to help them.  They are phenomenal at convincing you that they are the victim and you are just helping everyone heal.  One of the reasons people need to go no- or low-contact with abusive parents is because it’s all but impossible not to be vulnerable to them.  Some part of you is going to be reaching out to fill that void.  And Klaus, by his own description, has had a lot of “scoops” taken out of him—“brother, lover, Mom,” he sighs.  Nature abhors a vacuum, and a few years back, Klaus used to fill it with drugs.  It’s no wonder he was particularly vulnerable to this.  And particularly recruitable.  Feeling so much better about his own childhood trauma, he wanted that for everyone else.  He wanted them to feel as euphoric about this as he did.

So…your answer is yes, he is literally their abuser.  That is why Klaus is so annoying about wanting everyone to forgive him.

#the umbrella academy #tua s3 spoilers #klaus hargreeves #tua spoilers #the umbrella academy spoilers #the umbrella academy season 3

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THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY SEASON THREE SOUNDTRACK

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"He wanted to keep you weak and confused about your powers so you would be easier to control.?

HE SENT LUTHER TO THE MOON TO KEEP HIM FROM GROWING STRONGER

LOWER GRAVITY KEPT HIM FROM DEVELOPING MORE MUSCLE.

#umbrella academy season 3 #tua spoilers #tua #the umbrella academy spoilers #the umbrella academy

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diego having to dispose of his own brother's dead body is not the klaus and diego bonding i wanted this season