So it’s been a while since I’ve talked about who I really am and who I really want to be.
For those that don’t know me.
I’m a 21 year old women,
I am bipolair and have way more other stamps.
I have been trough about 50 years of life experience and most is yet to come.
I’m still on college have been there for 4 years and about to do 3 more.
I’m trying to do what’s best for me, but end up losing the people I love and care about because, I shut out when my bipolairness is up and running my life.
I want to be strong and indipendable.
I want to be a better person to the people I round me
I’m done being pushed around
I’m done being insecure
I want to be me
I want to love me for being me
These are all facts but how can I change myself into something that I’m not even close to. How can I do that without having an example.
How do I know I’m doing the right thing when I feel like I’m doing good but don’t feel good doing it.
Thanks to you my mind cleared up once again.
You are my moon. You are my earth and skies.
I never realized untill now. You are the the other piece of me.
You could have made me feel like shit but you didn’t.
Instead when I came crawling back you listened te me.
You where capable of understanding me rather than deny it.
You where always there for me, better you still are.
And I don’t know why because I’ve been the shitties person out there. You believed in me when no one did. You loved me even tho I didn’t. I dragged you to hell and you still preasede into heaven. I never could speak but you gave me a voice and all I did was take you for granted. You gave me a reason to stay and I pushed you away. While the moon shines it brightest, my thought lay with you. Like I layed with you looking at the stars. As I’m sitting here thinking of you all I wonder do you think of me the way I used to be, or do you think of the monster I became. Or are you sitting there staring in time thinking of the girl that changed your life for good.
To me it doesn’t matter because you’re still that same person I fell in love with all those years ago. And I can’t help wonder while my mind overflows with thoughts of you and me, if we ever could be the same again.
She woke up in the middle of the night and she couldn’t remember anything she’d been trough she tried to remember but she couldn’t, “who am I? Where am I?” was the only thing she could think of. As she got up from the bed, she only could remember his name and his face. “why can I remember him but nothing else”… She realized that he is the love of her life. She found a note on the nightstand, “I’m sorry sweetheart but I couldn’t take it if you ever thought that you weren’t good enough for me. I know you love me and I love you but we can’t be together. I hope you’ll forgive me for everything I’ve done and everything I’m going to do, if you wake up and read this I’m sorry I’m not by your side to tell you what happend xoxo your love” she shook her head and read it again and again. “Was it him.. Was it someone else? What happend? Who am I? Where do I go? Should I wait for him to come back?” she looked trough her stuff craving for a cigarette. She found a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. She light up a cigarette, still wondering what to do. She opend up a window and heard a few voices outside. She flicked her ashes out of the window, trying to make sense out of the voices outside.
To be continued
“It is normal not to talk for a while. It’s ok to go ghost for months but, if your back talk dont leave me hanging here!” said the girl from far far away. “If I only could talk” thought the man with no words. “Why don’t you talk to me ?!” said the girl. “Because I can’t talk” he tried to say. But with no result. The girl screamd “SAY SOMETHING I NEED YOU !!!” “I CAN’T TALK” he shouted back. He was so suprised he ran, he thought someone els said that. He ran till he found out on a cliff standing there talking to him self. When the girl finally arrived at the spot he stand there laughing. Saying “I was wating for you to find me, I wanted you to find me”
Lairs think they are smart when they lie, but guess what before you start laying I already know what you’re up to. Now who’s the smart one ? It’s not you no it’s not you ! #stupid #people #laying
I think hockey and music is the best combo there ever was/is
I could really use a wish right now !! I can’t take to live like this with out that one wish
A Ferrari I saw in France, It was so awesome to be there, I’ve had a great time !!
what is it that people I care about more than they ever could imagine, and they hurt me even more than I could handle.
I don’t feel good at all. Still going to school.
People who seek for attention aren’t always the people who should get it. And they will do anything to get it, even if they will lose friends. And people who don’t seek for attention are the people who love there friend and are prepaired to jump in to fire for them.