uncanny-tranny

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey kids! If you don't want to stand for the pledge, you don't have to, legally speaking. You might be bullied by adults (like I was, when I was a kid!), but you are not obligated to carry their nationalism for them. Sit for the pledge. Your first amendment rights apply to you in school and beyond.

#politics #us politics #yes to non-USamericans: we know how dystopian forcing schoolchildren to say the pledge is #i sat for the pledge in middle school and my ex-veteran principal marched himself to my class to guilt us about sitting #i'm sorry but as someone from a military family: if you get butthurt over people exercising the rights you apparently defended... #... then there is no reason to be so outwardly offended when people DO exercise them... #...do you want freedom or do you just want a nationalistic round of applause from everyone around you like... #...you don't get to be like I Want Freedom!!!! and then get pissed when that freedom is Happening #anyway i don't like the military. i don't like the pledge. amen. #by the time i got to high school i never stood for the pledge. it happened in band class so i'd just fuck around with my instrument quietly #anyway kids knowing their rights (as few of them as there are) is a Good Thing actuallu #i will always support kids knowing how to exercise them #technically this site is like 17+ but we all know kids don't follow that but i'm not y'all's parents #i'm simply going to remind you that you do actually have some rights

[uncanny-tranny]

Something that made hygiene-related things easier to do was to say "fuck it" to the concept of doing the thing at the Right time. My teeth do not understand that it is currently 02:00 or 15:00 and they're getting brushed. The skin on my face doesn't hold up a timepiece and say, "why haven't you washed me, twelve hours have elapsed and you haven't bothered to wash me!".

As someone who has had very intense experiences with my ability to do things at the Right time, throwing out those rules has been a game-changer. I used to shame myself because I didn't do something at the Right Time, so I just didn't do it, which would make me feel even worse. That's not a healthy way to go about anything. Accommodate for yourself. Throw out those rules.

#mental health #mental health support #advice #this goes for anybody frankly but this piece of advice was inspired because of how my mental health played into my ability/inability... #...to do certain things. and i get it. i'm not here to shame or judge. i'm here to maybe inspire you to think about what would help YOU #you are the centerpiece of what works for you

[uncanny-tranny]

You can have whatever opinions about drugs and public drug consumption - I don't particularly care, and this is not the conversation for that discussion, but I saw a sharps container in a public restroom and it was exciting. It was just there, and it's the first time I've seen something like it (they also had changing tables in the men's restroom, which is also great, but I've seen that a couple times).

You have to realize that proper sharps disposal is a matter of public health and safety. Not everyone is educated about how sharps disposal works and why it's important, but seeing as how you can be infected by Hepatitis B and C and HIV, you can see why it's so important. Nobody deserves to be exposed to that, regardless of if they're an addict or not. Everyone deserves to be safe, whether addict or sober.

#politics #addiction tw #addiction mention tw #needles tw #needles mention tw #addicts are people #people deserve to be safe #from what i remember this is the first ir mayyyyybe second time i've seen this #but it's cool regardless #the ONLY thing that would make this even BETTER is one of those informational posters about sharps and sharps disposals #education about this is sparse but SO important

[uncanny-tranny]

happy transsexual thursday! i made an appointment to get my gender designation changed to M =)

=)

#ask #anon #transsexual thursday #LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO #chat let's get some ws going 🗣️

[uncanny-tranny]

was wondering if you maybe had advice on sex as a trans man? like just generally and like with dysphoria and all that? if it's kind of personal or wierd no worries just delete this

Honestly, so much of this depends on some factors that you might want to explore if you haven't:

What do you want? What sensations - both physical or mental - do you seek?

Do you want (a) partner/s? What would be respectful for them to show you? For instance, what terms would best respect you?

What kind of sex are you even interested in? Are there certain acts you are interested in?

Now, you don't have to tell me this - sex is often a private and intimate discussion, even when it's to discuss something like helping dysphoria. These questions are important because they can help give you insight as to what would be best for you. For instance, it would be useless to give you information about sexual acts you aren't even wanting, especially if it causes dysphoria.

As such, I have some more general advice, coming from multiple different trans guys/transmasculine/otherwise trans people who have talked about what helps them:

Shutting off the lights or dimming them if the visual aspect makes dysphoria worse

When possible, keeping any part of you that is dysphoria-inducing (e.g., chest/pecs) clothed

When possible, using things like toys if physically contact causes dysphoria

Not pressuring yourself to do certain acts or wear certain things or use certain language that makes you dysphoric - even mildly so

Aftercare. After you are done with having sex, no matter what happened, do something to take care of yourself and recuperate. This might look like a bubble bath, some time to read or play video games, watching a movie, eating ice cream - it doesn't matter so long as it's something which is fun or calming for you. This can help keep sex as something more or less positive, or more positive, because you are intentionally making time for solely you (frankly, I think this can help before any sexual acts, but I understand some people don't have the time or foresight for that)

If you go through periods of sex revulsion due to dysphoria (which is incredibly common), don't force yourself to have sex. You aren't broken, and you deserve to prioritize feeling better before thinking about sex.

It is perfectly fine to use prosthetics, strokers (tool commonly used for bottom growth), or anything that empowers you to do what you want. Not every sexual assistive device is created equally, so I encourage people to do research and experiment whenever possible. If it doesn't work, don't use it, it's okay. But it's normal to use these things - human sexuality is inherently diverse, and the things you do to express it will be inherently diverse from others.

These tips are things you yourself can do, but I think these things are so so important if you plan to have sex with anyone else - regardless of their gender or any other factors:

Enforce your boundaries. Even the small ones. It is better to say, "no" to someone because they don't respect your boundaries than to let it go and having a sexual experience you might regret. No is an answer.

When possible, have conversations with your partner/s about sex. Talking about what you want, how they can respect you, and what they want can clear up a lot of potential for miscommunication. This is especially important because dysphoria is often very subjective, so making sweeping generalizations about makes people dysphoric and how they respond to it is unhelpful.

Enforce. Your. Boundaries. I can't stress this enough, especially as I was someone who didn't enforce boundaries and now have some regrets (which didn't threaten my safety, thank gd)

I know this is very general advice, but I hope it might give you any ideas. I don't want to assume what kind of sex you are seeking because - contrary to popular belief - trans man and trans male sexuality is as diverse as every other group of people. You can top as a trans man. You can give or receive a variety of sexual acts - anything under the sun! The only thing that might complicate a certain act are the tools and methods you employ to do them.

I appreciate you being vulnerable like this. There is nothing shameful about talking about sex or seeking communal advice. Trans man and trans male sexuality is important to me as well - I want trans men and trans people in general to be informed as much as possible, to do what's best for them. You deserve good sex. You deserve it to be positive and empowering - which sex can be. Contrary to the broader sex negative society, sex is neutral at worst, and it can, indeed, be a positive experience (and should, I think).

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #trans advice #trans sexuality #nsfw tw #nsfw warning #long post #and of COURSE if anyone else has their own advice it's more than welcome #seeing as i'm one person i don't always remember/know every piece of advice out there

[uncanny-tranny]

for transexual thursday I LOVE when people get confused about my gender so they call me both he and she because they can't decide lmao. I'm nonbinary and took HRT for awhile and consider this a smashing success

It's honestly kind of interesting to see how exactly people can blue screen right in front of you when you're like... even somewhat androgynous

#ask #anon #transsexual thursday #saluting all the people who get he/she'd because people Can't Decide what you are to them

[uncanny-tranny]

Alright, today is Transsexual Thursday; put in the reblogs, tags, or on anon the things you have loved about your transness/transition/presentation/anything related to being trans! We can never have too much positivity about the joy of creation 💛

#transsexual thursday #thursdays are going to be incredibly hectic but the good kind <3

[uncanny-tranny]

People who compare transition to self harm or use real people they know who've self-harmed as a metaphorical comparison to transitioning aren't making the gotcha they think they're making - they're just showing that they don't have the compassion or maturity to engage with either topic at even a conversational level.

And, frankly, it's infuriating as a person who does see those who self-harm as my equal who doesn't need to be used as a cudgel against another group of often vulnerable people.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #self harm tw #self harm mention tw #sh tw #transphobia #transphobia tw #and as someone who has self-harmed AND transitioned it's been inherently different. it's not a comparison #and if you wonder why so many trans people have engaged in self harm: social factors. family. abuse. mistreatment #mine stemmed from unrelated abuse largely and also because i wasn't being treated well #absolutely unresolved dysphoria in trans people can inspire that - i know that already. ask me how (don't)... #...but it also isn't inherent to identifying as trans. dysphoria of any kind can make people desperate for any escape... #...and you help them by allowing them space and giving them tools that empower *them*... #...like for me the second a huge part of my dysphoria resolved through transition i was able to start actually fucking LIVING #because for all my life i'd been only able to operate at 50% at most. and now it's more like 80-90% just after transition

[uncanny-tranny]

So much love and recognition to the people who don't know how they feel about recovering. To the people whose scars are fading away, and there's a sinking feeling, despite knowing that it's a good thing. To the people who miss when they were "worse," when they felt "broken." To the people who mourn losing their coping mechanisms, even the ones that were destructive, scary, or unpleasant. To those who feel guilty they're healing because their past self wasn't ready.

Whatever it is, there is nothing wrong with any of those feelings. It's a natural reaction, something you don't have ultimate control over. There is nothing shameful about yourself, and I admire the strength it takes to recognize how you feel, even the parts that do feel like the "wrong" reaction to a Good Thing.

#mental health #self harm tw #self harm mention tw #sh tw #mental health recovery #mental health support #i love you i love you i love you #i admire you and empathize with you and want to be your fellow man. i want to share this wold *with* you #and that includes sharing a world that you aren't sure you deserve or are ready for #the world can wait. humans have been here for hundreds of thousands of years. it can wait #when i think about all this what makes me feel better is remembering how many billions of people have lived #and it makes me feel better to know that there has never been a problem too big to have - to uniquely awful #i have my own conflicted feelings about this because objectively i am healing #but it feels like i have boarded on land after surviving the worst trip to sea ever... #...a trip that was plagued with my ship being flung through hurricanes and lightnight and i'm only manning a sailboat... #...and i have found land and that land is good... #...but my legs feel like they will give out underneath me because this is solid land that i have never stood on... #...and you get used to the constant seasickness and sealegs and wondering *how* you'll make it out - If you will... #...the peace feels like a ruse at times because all you've known was chaos. but it's a good ruse and a comfortable one #and so you learn i guess to sink into the comfort like a spft feather pillow

[uncanny-tranny]

The Cass Review coming out and the media frenzy surrounding it makes it feel like the world is falling apart around us. I'm very fortunate to live outside the UK at the moment, but my heart goes out to the trans people that are facing these current circumstances. It feels like the US will follow soon, and the rug will be pulled out from under us at any point.

How do we survive? How do I know if my friends will be okay? What if I fully transition just to be persecuted for the rest of my life? What will happen to us?

It's terrifying out here right now - if you have any advice on how you handle any of it, it would be greatly appreciated.

- a young trans person

I think so much of this relies on community support - you won't be alone in this, so you shouldn't live life alone in this. Regardless of potential intracommunity bickering, regardless of if we perfectly get along, no matter if someone passes or not, or has a complex identity or not, we all are affected by transphobia. We have to be in it together, to fight and support together.

Nobody knows, truly, what the next few years or decades are in store for us so, frankly, I think we invest as much as possible for the future, but also try to live. You don't just deserve to survive, you deserve to thrive. So whatever you do, I hope you're able to pause for even the briefest of moments. I hope you eat well, I hope you smile genuinely, I hope you laugh, I hope you dance. Fear and stress will literally kill you. I know for me, the stress I felt pre-transition absolutely would have killed me eventually - I don't wish that on anyone. It's absolutely reasonable to be scared about the future, I'm not saying it's not, but what I am saying is that you deserve a break. You deserve hope.

From a (perhaps slightly) older trans person: It can absolutely get better. Those tiny glimmers of hope that you cling to like diamonds won't be so few and far between. That sounds like absolute bullshit when you're on the receiving end of this, and I know that because I've been in that position, but something else that helps me through those "negative" feelings is this:

We survive. We have always survived. We have lost an unconscionable amount of people, but they won't be forgotten. No matter what happens, we keep surviving. The world cannot leave us behind without leaving behind swaths of humanity because we belong in the fabric of society. And something about that reassures me, because it is a reminder that we have existed and will continue to exist. And that means that we will outlive the hatred.

You're going to survive with us. In fact, I think you can thrive and not just survive, and I think that's something that doesn't happen in spite of the 'phobes, but rather it happens because you are an inherent equal person who is entitled to happiness.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #transphobia #transphobia tw #whatever action you can reasonably take in your position or country is worth pursuing as well... #...such as things like protest but it's also a nuanced subject in that... #...you might not be /able/ to do some of that stuff and frankly i don't think it's always the best option for some folks... #...so i tend to try to also emphasize how important you as an individual *and* the broader community are #because you have inherent worth regardless of what you contribute. your worth never depends on Proving Your Worth

[uncanny-tranny]

When it comes to views about labour and compensating properly for labour, I think a lot of people become radicalized when they find out both that crochet cannot be replicated by machine, but also that you can find crocheted items - clothes, plushies, keychains, décor - for well under twenty dollars. While I think that's good, that people are cognizant of how labour is exploited, I worry that people won't apply that across the board.

Yes, crochet can't be replicated by machine, but also: workers who operate the machines for crafts that can be replicated (like knit) should also be fairly compensated. The reason the other crafts that can be replicated by machine are also cheap is because all of these workers are being exploited. The fact that crochet is all human-made just highlights that exploitation more prominently for some people.

#politics #anti capitalism #fiber art #i would prefer for people to be 'radicalized' about this but i want to encourage them to broaden their scope

[uncanny-tranny]

Alright, today is Transsexual Thursday; put in the reblogs, tags, or on anon the things you have loved about your transness/transition/presentation/anything related to being trans! We can never have too much positivity about the joy of creation 💛

#transsexual thursday #apologies for missing some; i was busy with my med classes 👍 #i've noticed that i've been humming to myself so much??? it feels very good. like. i *get* to be content enough to do that

[uncanny-tranny]

I'm trans nonbinary and I really kind of hate myself for it and feel like such a fucking freak and I don't even know why because I didn't even grow up around a lot of homophobia or anything. I let everyone assume I'm a (trans) man because in my head if someone found out I was nonbinary they would just think I'm so fucking wierd, even when I'm in spaces or with people I know for a fact wouldn't actually think any of that. I don't feel this way about anyone else, just me. I'm really sorry if this is too much of a vent kind of thing I totally get you deleting it or whatever, but any advice you have would be really great.

I want to preface this by emphatically saying: Nobody here (least of all myself!) are judging you. I am sure many trans people who are following this blog know how you feel intimately. It's a consequence of the world we live in, not an intrinsic failure of character. I want to make this clear because you were incredibly vulnerable and I don't want you to worry that your vulnerability is a bad thing. It takes a lot to open up like this, no matter if you're on anon or not.

I've talked about this before, but this is a process that takes... a long time to work through, if I'm honest. I've been out since I was a young teenager, and now as an adult I still fall into the trappings of feeling similarly to you. What helped for me is to generally avoid judging myself for when I do feel like this. I think trying to outright ignore how you feel is very inefficient - I have tended to be a person who needs to feel those awful feelings so that I can look back and notice exactly what went wrong. I wouldn't specifically recommend that you do this - I have had many years of combating internalized transphobia to feel this is effective for myself. But, regardless of where you are in your journey of internal acceptance, I will advise this: don't judge yourself for these feelings. It is easy to do, but you don't deserve to have even more feelings of shame, isolation, or overall feelings of hopelessness or helplessness.

Often, we won't know exactly "why" we feel these feelings of internalized transphobia. For me, I also didn't grow up with outright homophobia, but I did grow up with the idea that I would only be loved if I was cishet, so when I discovered I was neither, it was jarring. I thought I would never be loved. And years later, I became open to the idea that I might have been wrong because there were people along the way - friends, certain family, strangers, even - who showed the love I felt I surrendered when I realized who and what I was.

It has helped me to expose myself to other trans people, as well. It's a delicate balance, at times, because there are moments where I find myself growing envious of another trans person for the way I perceive their own transition. It's a natural response, I guess, a natural human response that is amplified when you are part of a group that is often maligned. But I have found that the pros outweigh the cons: I see trans people of all identities now, trans people who look like me, who have incredibly similar experiences, who taught me so much about what it actually means to love and be loved. It's funny, because I'm largely a trans man (with caveats), yet some of the people who have deeply impacted me forever weren't always the same as I am (in fact, one of the first true "I look up to this person" experiences was from a trans woman who I still to this day admire and look up to).

I'm not going to lie, this (how you're feeling) is an incredibly common, but sometimes devastating result of so many factors. While we all go about these feelings in different ways, it can be hard. Therefore, it's important that we support each other. I want to offer my support to you, and let you know that you aren't going to be looked at by others in the way you might fear. It's hard to even conceptualize, honestly, but I am being honest. I understand that some of what I might have said won't resonate with you now, or ever, and that's okay. When we have a community to talk about ideas as a way of support, we can start to have more resources that we might be able to utilize effectively.

Your vulnerability right now isn't going unnoticed. It took a lot to express this, and I hope you might read this and feel even slightly better. I wish nothing but good things for you, nothing but bountiful joy and understanding that you deserve so much from this world.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #nonbinary #internalized transphobia #internalized transphobia tw #long post #(just for any blacklisting reasons) #this one hits home for me in so many ways #so at the very least anon: you aren't going through this alone

[uncanny-tranny]

This is exactly it! Just because we will never "win" the battle (and "win" as in "be normal") does not mean we lost. In so many ways, it seems like people conceptualize "winning" mental illness as "you are, essentially, a completely normal member of society who has no specialized needs because of mental illness (who we now can write off even more)," and that's unfortunate

One thing that I always disliked about how people approach mental illness was to frame it as a grand battle, a battle you can lose to.

Obviously, this type of thinking absolutely gets applied to people who have gone through cancer, but I leave it to people affected by cancer to articulate how they feel about this, because it's absolutely not in my lane to talk about that part of this conversation. I talk about mental health because people (at least where I am at) also apply the logic to mental illness - especially if one has "lost" their battle.

It especially bothers me because in many cases, people conceptualize battle as something wherein both parties are full participants, that one participant can only win. Do you commemorate and respect the people who lose battles? Often not.

I know that many times, people use battle euphemisms in order to preserve dignity and (somehow) imply that the illness isn't their fault, but I just don't personally resonate with the idea that illness is something you "win" or "lose" at, that winning means something Grand, Big, and it's something which good people achieve. In my personal experience, it can feel like a battle, but it's completely different in how it operates as a "battle."

#mental health #mental health advocacy #described images #image description in alt #cancer tw #cancer mention tw

[uncanny-tranny]

One thing that I always disliked about how people approach mental illness was to frame it as a grand battle, a battle you can lose to.

Obviously, this type of thinking absolutely gets applied to people who have gone through cancer, but I leave it to people affected by cancer to articulate how they feel about this, because it's absolutely not in my lane to talk about that part of this conversation. I talk about mental health because people (at least where I am at) also apply the logic to mental illness - especially if one has "lost" their battle.

It especially bothers me because in many cases, people conceptualize battle as something wherein both parties are full participants, that one participant can only win. Do you commemorate and respect the people who lose battles? Often not.

I know that many times, people use battle euphemisms in order to preserve dignity and (somehow) imply that the illness isn't their fault, but I just don't personally resonate with the idea that illness is something you "win" or "lose" at, that winning means something Grand, Big, and it's something which good people achieve. In my personal experience, it can feel like a battle, but it's completely different in how it operates as a "battle."

#mental health #mental health advocacy #cancer tw #cancer mention tw #i know people use those euphemisms to be respectful and i appreciate that... #...but i think we can do it better i suppose? #and i'm sure people will dosagree and that's the great thing about being people - we have the privilege of being able to disagree #i personally just found it... almost objectifying (not the correct word but that's how it feels) when people apply that to me #so i tend to avoid framing illness of any kind with battle euphemisms. i tend to think of it in terms of fluctuation

[uncanny-tranny]

The thing that bothers me about solidarity is that it isn't a special treat, something you give - like a dessert to a child who's been acting well. Solidarity is a survival strategy. And sometimes, you'll find the most repugnant people out there, but if you want to survive, you have political solidarity with them. No, you don't have to be friends. You can despise them.

It bothers me when people say, "in a perfect world, I'd have solidarity with every minority, but I pick and choose," because you can be part of making a more perfect world.

I've met so many people with different minority statues who have horrific views and opinions. I've hated their guts. But I don't revoke solidarity and, ultimately, my advocacy for all of us because that only serves to divide groups.

This doesn't mean you have to personally interact with every person who has terrible opinions and advocates for Bad Things.

#politics #this is also part of the reason why being bigoted to minorities who are bugoted against others is not a good strategy #salt circling this pist btw

[uncanny-tranny]

How do I know if I'm bi?

So this might not be a helpful answer, but it is my genuine thought, and I want to be honest: You know you're bi if you find comfort, or happiness, or understanding of yourself in that label. It's not necessarily about split attraction to multiple genders.

Yes, bisexual people will often be attracted to more than one gender (not just man and woman, either! Many bisexual people aren't attracted to both binary genders because bisexuality is yet another complex and nuanced component of human sexuality, which in itself is inherently complex). Yes, many bisexual people express those attractions, and yes, many bisexual people share things in common. But frankly, not every bisexual is going to have similar experiences or thoughts or expressions of sexuality. My bisexuality is going to look different than yours might because I am a different human being. As such, I think it's less helpful to say "to be bisexual, you need to have these experiences," but it's more helpful to say, "if you find comfort in the bisexual label, use it"

The worst that happens with sexuality labels is you find one that matches better. I used to use the label pansexual when I was younger - the worst thing that happened was I stopped using it a year later when I felt it didn't accurately describe my feelings anymore.

If you suspect you're bi, there's likely a reason for that, and there's nothing wrong with you investigating that further. However, I don't want you to feel like you need to Prove Yourself to even use language that accurately describes your sexuality or sense of sexuality - no matter if that language is as simple as saying you're bisexual or not. Sexuality is an important aspect of identity for many folks, and you deserve the opportunity to make it as important or inconsequential as you want. Nobody is going to throw you in jail for not being bisexual or queer "enough." There's no law that says you have to have a 50/50 split attraction to binary men and women only to be bi. There's no bisexual card we hand out to you, saying you've been vetted as Bi Enough.

#ask #anon #bi #bisexual #lgbt #lgbtq #like my sense of sexuality is very convoluted and i still use bi because it's the closest i've got and that's FINE #if i was a bit younger i might have used a label like abro but i *personally* don't have any attachment or care for it being used for me #and that's fine!!! there can be two similar people in terms of sexuality who use COMPLETELY different language and labels #just like a person like me (trans man) could be on hormones and use he/him and masculine language and 'only' call themself a butch #(quotes around the word only because butch isn't a secondary identity compared to an identity like mine) #that's the beauty about language and our conceptualizions of ourselves! #we want to be understood and we cobble that together in as best a way as possible #language is naturally limiting because our feelings and thoughts are too deep for it i think #there is only so much we can do to be understood. so we do our best #what i want you to do is do your best. it's not about being Perfect in how you describe yourself. that's not the point!!! #there are things about myself that will mever be described by language and that's good i think #i think that's the same for most people. we are too complex and we should learn to find beauty and celebration in that