unloyaldog

[unloyaldog]

You have time until the lighter is finished and until I finish the book you lent me. You have time until the summer is over. You have time until you finish moving and until you recover from exhaustion and after that, the heat. You have time until you see all your friends, until I come back from vacation and until you finish painting your room. You have time until your stomach aches stop. You have time until autumn ends. You have time until my birthday arrives and then yours. You have time until the end of winter and until I finish my degree and until spring begins.

But not me

#happy valentine's day #poem #spilled guts #spilled words #spilled ink #poetry #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets corner #chaotic academia #dark academia #about love #love poem

[unloyaldog]

How close you came to sounding the trumpets of your surrender

To put on a white shirt and tell me how much you missed me

When you asked about the stranger and they answered you, 'Who?'

And you became invisible in the warmth of your friends

The last one is dead, there is no fun in vice anymore

You are looking for a job that vindicates who you are, something that is sufficient before any other claim

You are looking to do something with your two hands

#happy valentine's day #poem #spilled guts #spilled words #spilled ink #poetry #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets corner #chaotic academia #dark academia

[unloyaldog]

There is a beautiful girl drinking beer on the same bed where once a beautiful girl cried about her dad not letting her go to the party where a beautiful girl played chess with the boyfriend of a beautiful girl who once wanted to be the girlfriend of a beautiful girl who's drinking beer on the bed.

#girls #you know? #poem #spilled guts #spilled words #spilled ink #poetry #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets corner #chaotic academia #dark academia

[unloyaldog]

The only comforting fact about love that is all and all consuming

(and you are in all my dreams)

is that in reality all of this: is not yours.

and that if love is eternal

and everlasting doesn't exist

but I loved from the beginning and I will love until the end.

it does not belong to you

or to anyone who ever kissed my lips, even if my childhood love kissed them

my vulnerable self and my best acts

my only true one

you are still my best friend.

#about love #again #poem #spilled guts #spilled words #spilled ink #poetry #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets corner #chaotic academia #dark academia

[unloyaldog]

I met women who were wonderful monuments of fire and speech

Who decomposed sheet music of roles

And unravel garments of fear

Who kneaded bodies of joy

And tended beds of pleasure

Who celebrated worldly victories, teaching that this was the true pride of the soul

And that when speaking they sought a total and balanced understanding between cold logic and warm feelings

#unfinished poem #but i had to post this #funny how you can think everything is lost #and then women would just be there existing and letting you exist in the same orbit #and if you are lucky they will explain to you how they see the world and how they feel love #and they stay so tender despite all the unfairness and the anger #women are so strong and cool to be around #creating safe spaces just because they can and want #poets on tumblr #poem #spilled words #spilled ink #poetry #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets corner #chaotic academia #dark academia #spilled heart #spilled guts #spilled poem #drunk poetry #love poem #writers and poets #womensupportingwomen

[unloyaldog]

Write so as not to die, and drink tea and cry inconsolably over a pot of soup.

Write so as not to die and to untangle the shame that my hands carry and do something beautiful with them, something that will suffice before any other claim.

Write so as not to die and remember what we have learned, what we learn in lonely nights of love, my own hands on my own chest telling me that everything will be fine.

#i've been writing #spilled words #spilled ink #poetry #dark academia #poets on tumblr #poem #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets corner #chaotic academia

[unloyaldog]

And i said: "You are capable of great love."

And you answer: "Being capable of great love can translate in such a brutal thing."

#spilled words #spilled ink #poetry #dark academia #poets on tumblr #poem #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets corner #chaotic academia

[unloyaldog]

Today someone said that all people who write poetry are good people, and I laughed, shaking my head, and remembering you, and the way you looked at her. Like an old garment that you already know you are not going to use again but you do not throw away because you like the texture and how it feels between your fingers.

#burying friendships #spilled words #spilled ink #poetry #dark academia #poets on tumblr #poem #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets corner #chaotic academia

[unloyaldog]

Not only i lack the knowledge of how to reach intimacy i also lack the stomach to take it.

Intimacy is the promised land

#spilled words #spilled ink #poetry #poets on tumblr #poem #dark academia #new poets society #spilled poetry #chaotic academia #poets corner

[unloyaldog]

I could sleep on the floor, like childhood again, or risk to wake the beast.

Can't find a bed for myself can't see asking for help as a possible option.

Like a child, concidering sleeping on the floor, standing petrify in neither, hugging a pillow, unmoving, and still, no choice is made

Not laying out somwhere but not putting on my shoes either, socks damp and solid with dust, letting the cold in, feeling the point in your throat were the sore and painful morning is already generating.

#i ended up squeezing my place in a bed like a worm #spilled poetry #poets corner #new poets society #poem #poems and quotes #poets on tumblr #chaotic academia #spilled words #spilled thoughts #spilled guts

[unloyaldog]

- Do you love them? Or do you just need them?

- Aren't those the same thing?

(I don't know, but i don't think so)

- A line should exist between the two, love takes dangerous tones otherwise.

(You don't speak your anger and i'm tempted to keep pushing)

- Are you really more happy now than when you didn't have them?

- Yes.

- Are you?

(The desire for conflict tickles my belly)

#unfinished #unfinished poem #spilled ink #spilled words #spilled guts #spilled thoughts #dark academia #chaotic academia #poetry #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets corner #writing dialogue #poetas en tumblr #poets on tumblr #love poem #poem #writers and poets #original poem #the burden of being in love with all your friends #the burden of wanting to destroy it

[unloyaldog]

I dreamed of a spectacular poetry line and when I woke up it was still burning on my lips for only a few seconds, then you asked me if I had slept well and it evaporated.

I'd rather wrap myself in your sweetness than write about my hallucinations in prophetic dreams of poems that go somewhere.

#chaotic academia #dark academia #spilled thoughts #spilled guts #spilled words #spilled ink #poetry #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets corner #poetas en tumblr #poets on tumblr #love poem #writers and poets #original poem #excerpt from a book i'll never write

[unloyaldog]

Why do people glue to each other?

why do they persevere when it's so clearly a thing on fire-

why do they burn their hands-

why do they eat the ashes-

whats so great about peeling your tongue-

Are this questions the ones that make me so terrefied of love?

#spilled thoughts #spilled guts #spilled words #spilled ink #poetry #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets corner #chaotic academia #dark academia #love poem

[unloyaldog]

#changed gods pronouns #feel more confy with this version

[unloyaldog]

At the table, I played sitting on the fool's side.

What was left of me slowly faded to introduce you to a clay doll whom I built especially for you.

It has my face and apparently sits on the side of the fools at the table.

#idk how to feel about this one but i like it #the personality i created for her is an idiot and im so mad #she thinks its sweet and cute when i mix my words or bump my head #haha i'm full of resentful rage #back to this words im not convinced #might edit or add later #i feel like there is something wrong with it #bpd #spilled thoughts #spilled guts #spilled words #spilled ink #poetry #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets corner #chaotic academia #dark academia #actually bpd #bpd vent

[unloyaldog]

That night I entered an anonymous online chat and I vomited my truths one by one to all of them

They asked to see my breasts and I explained that the effort of so many years had been wasted for nothing

I would lie and tell the truth over and over again until I confused myself

They told me that they had long and wide penises and I told them that I was tired of being tired and that there was a pain expanding inside me that threatened to devastate everything else

#venting in omegle is free therapy #spilled thoughts #spilled guts #spilled words #spilled ink #poetry #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets corner #chaotic academia #dark academia #traumacore #ventcore #vent poem

[unloyaldog]

I am not a chemist who is also a poet, or a mathematician who is also a poet, or an architect or a doctor. I'm just a poet's poet, maybe i'll draw something, build something from the trash in my room, a friend. I will never do something remarkable of intelligence, only of soul.

#spilled thoughts #spilled guts #spilled words #spilled ink #poetry #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets corner #chaotic academia #dark academia #love poem #poesia #poem #poems on tumblr #poets on tumblr #spilled writing #writers on tumblr #my writing #excerpt from a book i'll never write #new poets corner