Unforgivable
Turn the loans back on
With the flip of a switch
But don't tax the rich
Don't tax the religious
Instead, just dangle the prize
Student loan forgiveness
To keep them in line
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I wrote this ^^^^^ almost three years ago
It's hard to believe I made it to three months
Even harder to believe I'm one month shy
Of three years and three months dry
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A Billy club and a gun
Handed out with a badge
After a few weeks in training
Now you think you’re the man
You can’t wait to start restraining
This power is euphoric
You’re more than human
The laws don’t apply to you
So, technically, you can’t abuse them
Show them who’s in charge
Under the president’s direction
You should use a little more violence
And when you take someone’s life
You needn’t worry
You can always rely
On the police code of silence
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Pitted Against Myself: 9/21/21
My feelings
Have me in a pit
It's dark outside
The sides are so steep
The top high enough
To where I can't see
I pace back and forth
As the sun rises
As the sun sets
Another day gone
Another day
With no progress made
Still trapped
Me
In my pit
A pit so big
That my thoughts revolve
Around It
Instead of How
To get Out
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Take A Loss To Live: 9/1/2021
What are we
But particles
Floating on the winds of the Universe
So small-minded
That we fail
To ever see the big picture
Instead
We kill each other
Because our meaningless ideas
May happen to differ
Meanwhile
Our planet turns against us
This Mother we call Earth
Is gearing up
To shed our existence
Her temperature is climbing
And in turn
Her seas are rising
Her weather grows stronger
And yet
We argue
Over the color of the sky
While those with the power to change
Can't see past the dollar signs in their eyes
So make no mistake
Their corporate greed alone
Will be the reason
All of humanity dies
Eventually
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Venting...Srsly what the fuck is wrong with this state. Couldn't concentrate the entire time I was in my seat I was so frustrated and angry.
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I'm cooking again
No longer just meal prep
I'm back in the heat
Back to the real stress
But this time I'm sober
Facing a real test
Just wake me when it's over
When I'm done with school
When I get a job I like
One where I don't
Come home
Smelling like shit every night
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Staying Positively Negative
I shower in doubt
And bathe in self-loathing
The hot water feels so good
Until I remember what I’m doing
“You dumb bitch”
I tell myself
“Fuck!
I have to stop doing this”
I think
As I cut the water off
My brain wanders
As I reach for a towel
And I try to steer it
Toward positive thoughts
I navigate
Through a forest
Of whispering failures
As I dry myself
I reach a clearing in my mind
Where I tell myself
“This won’t all be for nothing
Just stay positive”
I hang the towel
And turn to get dressed
When I stub my toe
While screaming “FUCK!”
I punch the wall
But hit a stud
I break a few fingers
Begin screaming louder
As I fall to my back
Screaming at the ceiling
Laying naked on the floor
I smile
Thinking about what a fucking idiot I am
As I get to my feet and turn my laptop on
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Acutely Aware of My Sobriety
Ten dry months
And it’d be a bold faced lie
If I were to say
I haven’t missed it once
Because I damn sure have
There have been nights
Passed by with tears in my eyes
Where I’ve craved the numbness
But I stayed in
And held out
It’s a rough life right now
And this clarity is unforgiving
But it would only be worse
With a constant poison
Entering my mouth
With these hands I still reach
It’s only what I grab
That has changed
For now
I grab pen
I grab pad
Because without these
A Boy surely goes Mad
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How do you determine
The lifespan of a country?
Where on the progress bar
Are we?
How much more of the Trump Era
Must we suffer through?
How much more
Can we take?
How long will it be
Until Republicans awake
And realize what has happened
While they’ve all been
Metaphorically asleep
But realistically enabling?
For the sake of our future
I hope we are in the 90 percents
Of the progress bar
Concerning Trump’s Era
And not the fucking forties
Please Vote
For every step forward that we took
We awoke
In the Dark heart of America
A people who will stop at nothing
To drag us backward
They must be shown
That their ideals
Are not shared by real Americans
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I feel as if
I’ve been corked
My leaks
Temporarily sealed
But my feelings
Are welling up
Like the knot in my stomach
And the ball in my throat
The pressure
Inside this bottle of mine
Is building
It’s uncomfortable
Tears sit just behind my eyes
Watching
Waiting
To be set free
At a moments notice
They can be unleashed
So they sit there
Watching
In cahoots with my feelings
Just waiting
To be released
Why do I fight them?
Why do I hold them back
When I know
The moment I let them go
I’ll be at ease
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Trespasser
I miss simplicity
The days of old
Familiar stressors
Before Covid
Before Trump
Back when Bubble Boy
And Idiocracy
Were still fiction
Back when a president’s words
Used to promote Unity
Instead of Division
When racists and bigots
Didn’t run the country
Back when the president’s goals
Involved plans and a vision
Instead of plans
To avoid prison
I miss Unity
In the American States
I wish we could skip forward
Go straight to brighter days
But in order to do so
We have to be brave
We have to put on our masks
We must leave the safety
Of our homes
And we must let our votes be known
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fuck, man.
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Going through my drafts and found this. 6 months and three(ish) days before I decided to stop drinking.
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I’m a tin can
Dented and dinged
I get dropped in the dirt
But always picked up and cleaned
I spill my contents
When I shoot myself in the feet
I’ve been refilled
And am slowly patching my leaks
My wounds close
The further I get
From my last drink
The more my mind clears
The less I look back
It’s easier now to focus
On how to Most Happily
Remain intact
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Profanity runs hot
As it pours from my mouth
I’ve got fire in my lungs
Ignited by molten thoughts
Burning through my mind
In four years
Trump turned America
Into a pool of gasoline
And lit the bitch on fire
He possesses the tools
To put us out
But as we close up shop
And run for safety
He tells us not to panic
To keep our shops open
To stay where we are
He says all this
From his island of safety
Where he congratulates himself
For how good a job he’s doing
All while our friends and family
Burn to Death.
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TYFCT my TED talk
What can you do
When someone steals your country
And converts it to a graveyard
When you finally muster the courage
To speak up and ask
“How did all these people die?”
They tell you it was
Diabetes
Obesity
and high blood pressure
But you think to yourself
I thought we had remedies for those
It sure seems like something else
Is contributing to this massive loss of life
And then it hits you,
“Oh that’s right
Our president didn’t go to prison
And still continues to lie”
So many deaths could’ve been prevented
If only we had been properly informed
So many no longer with us
Could still be alive
But all the Donald could see
Was dollar signs in his eyes
He chose the economy to prioritize
Instead of American fucking Lives
And now, instead of handcuffs
It’s blood he has on his hands
You asked what you can do
You can go vote
In this election
And every fucking one after that
And once you cast that national vote
Don’t forget to vote locally
Vote to put responsible people in charge
Vote to rid us of the people who enabled this
Vote to hold yourself accountable
Vote to make America function again
Vote to show that facts matter
Vote to show the world
That this isn’t what America stands for
We are not Donald Trumps America
And from here on out
We will value people
Over the fucking economy
For fucks sake Go fucking vote
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