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“I don’t want to live forever”

Stop. Stop right there. I do. I never ever ever ever want to lose my ability to feel and see and be. Never ever ever. I truly want to live forever and I want everyone I love to live forever. I don’t even think I like living all that much but I think being dead would be so much worse.

#yes this is motivated by fear #terrified of dying #and constantly in fear of the shock you feel when the grief begins again #I don’t even like life but I think I’d hate being dead #I am so a bitch that would freeze my body in hopes of coming back to life #p

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Rightly so.

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March 30, 2024. Tens of thousands of Palestinian worshippers perform prayers at al-Aqsa Mosque despite Israeli restrictions in the occupied city of Jerusalem.

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I genuinely think that any change in behavior starts w telling yourself that your worst days, worst performances, just worst moments in general aren’t who you “truly are.” It’s all about unlearning any thought process that essentially chalks up traits you aren’t proud of to “this is who I really am” “in reality I’m lazy” “in reality I’m just a bad person” bc not only is that never true, but it impedes your efforts to try to do better as well. Anything we struggle with has roots in things like childhood trauma, thoughts you’ve been fed before, your upbringing…. but never that you’re inherently a bad person. What I’m learning this year is that a lot of us doing better & being better & improving really comes down to self-talk—to disavowing the very notion that deep down we’re simply bad.

#ooof yeah

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Freddie Mercury posing on his car

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We will not be girlrotting in April. We will be girlblooming girlburgeoning girlflourishing

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we sentence you to trying to get your mother to admit she's been wrong before

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Literally nothing more powerful than a girl in her room

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Gerhard Richter

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Apparitions Postcard Print Set Set of 6 prints of selected paintings from the Apparitions series! Now available in my shop :) shop: suhaylah.bigcartel.com ig: @suhaylah.h

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artwork by Hideaki Kawashima

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Trista Mateer, from The Dogs I Have Kissed

#d

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thoroughly enjoyed

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Take up space . At work. In your relationships. On the train. Don’t make yourself small for anyone.

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They bombed a hospital. No one intervened. So they bombed the rest.

They killed civilians and hostages waving white flags. No one intervened. So they did it on live TV.

They murdered starving people at an aid convoy. No one intervened. So they've attacked at least 3 more.

Israel is currently attacking the Al Shifa hospital in northern Gaza (March 18) with tanks and heavy gunfire, resulting in an increasing number of casualties and abductions including journalists who were reportedly severely beaten and taken to an unknown location.

Israel is literally relishing in its impunity. All we have been hearing from those in power is "concerns" and pathetic words of condemnation while Israel continues to boast about its atrocities, six months on.

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[Image ID: The poem “One Source of Bad Information”, by Robert Bly.  There’s a boy in you about three years old who hasn’t learned a thing for thirty Thousand Years. Sometime it’s a girl.  The child had to make up its mind How to save you from death. He said things like:  “Stay home. Avoid elevators. Eat only elk.”  You live with this child, but you don’t know it.  You’re in the office, yes, but live with this boy  At night. He’s uninformed, but he does want To save your life. And he has. Because of this boy  You survived a lot. He’s got six big ideas.  Five don’t work. Right now he’s repeating them to you. 

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#wi