upsidedown-cats

[upsidedown-cats]

"Baby Dick going to Bruce after a nightmare" this and "Red Hood breaking into Bruce's window when he's lonely" that WHERE is my fic about full grown 43 year old Bruce walking around in daze at 3am and finding himself in front of Alfred's room that's still in the servant quarters because Alfred never had the heart to move from the one Thomas decorated for him before he died and Bruce not remembering how he got there but waking up tucked into stiff starched sheets and a pistol under the pillow and hearing an assortment of children yelling in the kitchen about starting a search party and Alfred saying they can try but they'll never ever guess where he is

#YES #i love them so much #dc #batfam #batfamily #batman #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth

[upsidedown-cats]

tim: dad... I have a boyfriend

bruce: what? but you're supposed to get back together with stephanie

tim: what?

dick: whoa whoa whoa, I thought you were an ally

bruce: I'm not being homophobic I just need steph to marry into the family

cass: I have something to share

#incredible #dc #entertainment #batfam #batfamily #batman #bruce wayne #tim drake #red robin #bernard dowd #spoiler #stephanie brown #orphan #black bat #cassandra cain #nightwing #dick grayson

[upsidedown-cats]

my favorite thing in Justice League fics is when a character fucks up so badly that their only option is to go talk to Batman. And they still — still — take a moment to figure out how desperate they are before going.

Bruce has such “don’t bother me, I’m working, also why the hell would you do that” disapproving dad energy. It’s stunning.

#dc #entertainment #batman #bruce wayne #clark kent #superman

[upsidedown-cats]

Riddler: Riddle me this boy-

Riddler: Batman?

Batman!Dick: Yes?

Riddler: Who the fuck is this?

Batman!Dick: This is Robin.

Riddler: Obviously. But he’s different. He’s all scowly. Where’s the fun one, who likes my riddles?

Batman!Dick: He’s taking some PTO. Can we get on with this?

Riddler: No.

Batman!Dick: What? Why not!

Riddler: Well I would but it wouldn’t be very fair. See the riddles I had for tonight were kind of specific to a couple of past games me and the other one had done.

Batman!Dick: What you never did that for me when I was Robin-

Riddler: Yes well it just wasn’t as fun with you.

Batman!Dick: So what, are you going to just let the hostages go?

Riddler: Well I guess. I’ll have to come up with something different, we can reschedule.

Batman!Dick: So what, do we just take you back to Arkham or-

Riddler: *shrugs* That’s fine. I’ll just table this one for when he gets back.

#entertainment #dc #batfamily #batfam #nightwing #dick grayson #robin #damian wayne #red robin #tim drake #the riddler #edward nygma

[upsidedown-cats]

I was thinking (shocking, I know) and I think the bat kids should have a little auction/market amongst themselves but for like stolen clothing

Like every three months they congregate in a fucking walmart parking lot (bc there’s way too much of them) at 3 am and they trade favours and stolen clothing for funsies.

There are some rules though like; It’s a strictly bat kid thing, no one else is allowed and the clothes must be of family members and family adjacents

Jason and Bruce’s clothes are always in demand bc theyre so fucking big.

*ehem* now here is my rendition of what would happen in one of these auction.

Tim: I’ll take the B/P route for a week if you give me your purple sweatshirt

Steph: Nuh uh 2 weeks or nothing

Dick: ✨guess what I got✨

every Bat kid looking at him, knowing what he was going to take out

Batkids, in synch: show us

Dick, pulling out one of Bruce’s oversized sweaters:

The whole group excluding Dick: Ỉ̸̝̱̪̞̃̅̔̂͜͝ ̸̞͑̊w̸̡̱̙̫̱̯̲̅̈́ȃ̴͖͎̠͔͇͊̂̚n̶̡̧̜͉͙̝̜͑̍t̵̺̭͍̪͛̐̈́ͅ ̸̹͓̳̂̓̇i̵̢̪̰̻̤̎̈̓ͅt̵̜̳̝͘

#batfam #batfamily #batman #bruce wayne #nightwing #dick grayson #red hood #jason todd #red robin #tim drake #spoiler #stephanie brown #robin #damian wayne #signal #duke thomas #dc #entertainment

[upsidedown-cats]

people who say that damian is a “feral child” and cass is the “prim perfect one” perplex me, like????

cass was literally a feral child. she never learned to read, or write, or how to interact socially.

damian had tutors as a kid in multiple fields, speaks multiple languages, knows how to handle a business, is an artist, most likely very knowledgable about other cultures and their history, hell, his mother is Talia frickin’ al Ghul. do you think she wouldn’t give damian every option of the best of the best that she could? do you think talia would not give that kid who is heir to the LOA and the Bat, everything she could to make him as successful and or powerful as he could be? or how to behave in high society? fuck no.

#entertainment #dc #batfam #batfamily #cassandra cain #damian wayne #batgirl #black bat #orphan #robin

[upsidedown-cats]

he's a chewer that one

#dc #fanart #flashfam #bart allen #impulse #max mercury

[upsidedown-cats]

"Bruce is bad at cooking" broke

"Bruce is great at cooking but he only makes insanely spicy curries he learned while training and nobody else can physically eat more than one or two bites" woke

"Bruce knows how to cook and decides to make fuck-ass smoothies for every meal anyway" bespoke

#dc #entertainment #batfam #batfamily #batman #bruce wayne

[upsidedown-cats]

In today’s modern society, Riddler would be the EASIEST of Batman’s villains to rehabilitate 

All you have to do? Give him a job designing/running an Escape Room facility

It’s perfect for him. A non-violent outlet for feeding his need to flex how intelligent he is, he still gets to create his elaborate puzzles and riddles, and people will willingly PAY HIM to lock them up in a room where he can mess with them for an hour or so

Someone get Bruce Wayne on the phone I have an idea for a thing he should invest in

#dc #entertainment #batfam #batfamily #the riddler #edward nygma #batman #bruce wayne

[upsidedown-cats]

Honestly I think it’s so funny that in the Marvel universe, when someone’s really smart, they have like eight to twelve doctorates and they finished high school at age twelve.

And then over in the DC universe it’s like. This is Tim Drake. He’s a genius. He keeps cloning his loved ones. He dropped out of highschool. Over there is Barry Allen. He can reverse engineer a spaceship in less than a minute. He is such a good chemist he’s still going to be known as the best chemist in 4,000 years. He has a bachelor’s degree.

#so true #marvel #dc #entertainment #tim drake #red robin #barry allen #flash

[upsidedown-cats]

headcanon

The batfamily - Dick, Bruce, Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph, Duke, Cass, and Harper - knee deep in mud all tired, filthy, sweaty, and super mad, digging up the front yard because Jason buried the body of a mob lord in front of wayne manor years ago to piss off bruce but forgot where he buried it and now the city wants to pipeline maintenance work there.

#batfamily #batfam #entertainment #dc #jason todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne #damian wayne #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #harper row #red hood #nightwing #batman #robin #spoiler #batgirl #black bat #orphan #bluebird

[upsidedown-cats]

Starting to think a cooler headcanon for Clark’s upbringing might just be that the entire town of Smallville collectively decided to just go with it and accept that Martha and John's kid has superpowers, but we don't talk about it.

Someone's tractor gets stuck and nothing can get it out? "Be a dear and run down to the Kents, would you? Ask for Clark?"

"Why Clark, we need a machine--"

"Run along now."

Or if he kicks too hard and the football vanishes into the upper stratosphere, no it didn't, we all collectively saw it land over there *vague hand movements*

#yeah probably #dc #entertainment #clark kent #kal-el #superman

[upsidedown-cats]

Sometimes I think about how this fandom looked a broken fictional family in the eyes and said there is love and healing and second chances here that I will dig out even if my hands bleed raw and I think that says less about the source material and more about the kind of people we've chosen to be

#SOBS #dc #batfamily #batfam

[upsidedown-cats]

Headcanon for the Bakids, at some point:

JL member: Oh, you call Batman, “B”? What is it short for? Bruce? Batman?

The Batkids: It stands for “Bitch”.

JL member:

JL member: …You can do that?

#facts #dc #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #batman #justice league #entertainment

[upsidedown-cats]

I have a headcannon that at some point in his early robin days, Jason decided he wanted to be like Alfred and committed to drinking tea, using British slang and the accent while being robin.

This obviously confused the rogues a lot.

Fighting Mr. Freeze:

Jason: aye, what in the bloody hell do you think your doin? (Horrible British and gotham accent mix)

Freeze: I am- wait. Robin? Are you ok?

Bats: it's a phase. Just ignore it.

Freeze: keep forgetting he's a kid... anyways-

#dc #entertainment #batfam #batfamily #jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne #batman #mr freeze #victor fries

[upsidedown-cats]

the newlywed game but with superheros and their sidekicks.

#SCREAMING #dc #entertainment #batfam #batfamily #flashfam #bruce wayne #batman #dick grayson #nightwing #barry allen #flash #wally west #kid flash #clark kent #superman #kal el #conner kent #kon el #superboy #tim drake #red robin #jason todd #red hood #max mercury #bart allen #impulse

[upsidedown-cats]

Oh Max

How I've missed your Yoda-like wisdom. Your incomprehensible, needlessly complicated and obscure, wrapped in riddles, wisdom.

No one else is doing it like Max is doing it. We still don't even know this man's real name. He writes his diary in Vietnamese. He has seen god and the vast expanse of time. He doesn't understand Halloween. He's a single father. He's a homewrecker. He's died. He is a being of pure energy and light. He has commitment issues. He's an enigma. He speaks in riddles on purpose, solely for the bit.

I fucking love this man.

#incredible #dc #flashfam #max mercury #entertainment