usagichanp

[usagichanp]

[usagichanp]

Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation

#top posts that have me in tears at the hairdresser #fave #absolute fave

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which is definitely not an omen

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Counter Strike: Global Offensive

[usagichanp]

So I’ve been teaching 6th grade since January, and one thing about my female students which made me upset to realize is how many of them are obsessed with skincare. I've heard the girls in my class discussing the EYE CREAM they use. Like tf you mean eye cream? You're ELEVEN!!! I'm a decade older than you and have never even touched eye cream!! The most skincare a middle schooler needs is cleanser and moisturizer, maybe some acne cream. Who tf is selling you all this other stuff? Who tf told you you needed all this?

It hurts me to see. Their brains are too young for these types of insecurities 😭 no 11 year old girl should be obsessed with wrinkles, I wanna beat tf out of whatever tiktoker made them believe they needed skin that perfect

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“but what if i’m being annoying :(“ everyone’s annoying dipshit it came free with fucking being alive and existing. now go talk to your friends

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as far as i’m concerned all pussy is clown pussy

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No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly

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brown sugar and cinnamon are lesbian married

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#JUMPSCARE

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occasionally I am struck dumb by the sublime beauty of the world in the small moments, you know?

egg

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You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

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PLEASE elaborate on “davidelizabeth in alien covenant if i wrote it” they squandered her potential so bad !

okay so first all i have already talked about how i feel that covenant should have built on the sticky psychosexual gothic horror tension between david and shaw and developed it into a toxic codependent dynamic (that predictably ends poorly due to their fundamentally opposing ideological stances as well as one-sided obsession on david's side), so i'm going to attach that rather than rehash it.

but honestly if i'd written covenant i would have had elizabeth survive david long enough to establish herself on the engineer planet in hiding from him (following a "breakup" caused by his act of genocide), and have the arrival of the colonists in covenant be the catalyst that forces them to confront each other again and finish what they started. i'm not entirely certain of the specifics, but i think there's a lot you could do with the central themes of alien as a cosmic/existential horror (a story about horrifying revelations, terrible change and progress/evolution that is unrecognisable as anything but nightmarish to the human minds bearing witness), a body horror narrative focused on sexual assault, pregnancy and childbirth/parenthood, and an examination of extraterrestrial horror as this colonial mindset - the fear of being violently replaced by something that deems itself better than you and works ruthlessly to eradicate you from your places of safety which it has taken for its own - as well as the more prometheus-specific themes of parental trauma and religion (mostly christianity) by making the core conflict between david and his xenomorphs and elizabeth and humanity, like a sort of fucked up retelling of adam and eve in the garden of eden.

to tie up loose ends, since prometheus and covenant are meant to be prequels to the original alien films, i'd probably have elizabeth succeed in being the final girl (a parallel to ripley in the original franchise) but tragically go into self-imposed exile/die alone in an attempt to prevent the xenomorphs from being stumbled across by future explorers and becoming a threat again, as well as possibly out of some warped sense of guilt, both for having allowed herself to ever love david and believe him capable of change, and for failing to save him ("save" very much in the biblical sense, as in persuade him to share her point of view and abandon his descent down a dark path). needless to say, she doesn't succeed, making her "victory" all the more phyrric.

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its so sad that radfem just means transphobe and not like. this

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we need another bidoof’s law to refer to the phenomenon where someone says some rude stupid shit in the reblogs of your post and you go to their blog and all their posts are about nature loving you and being kind to each other and cute illustrations about friendship etc. the cognitive dissonance

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