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me: okay, that’s enough. i can’t live like this. i gotta change my life. i gotta make moves

the world: ok here is an Opportunity

me:

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there’s no shame in admitting that none of us have any concept of how big a whale is

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anti-sjws for the last 10 years: feminazis, feminazis, feminazis, feminazis, nazi nazi, sjw's are nazis, nazi nazi nazi, grammar nazi, feminazi feminazi

normal sensible attractive people: these real life people are actually real life nazis and hold nazi beliefs and want to kill minorities

anti-sjws: thats pretty fucking fucked up that you just call anything you disagree with a nazi, like i think thats pretty wild of the 'tolerant left' to do

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if your girlfriend is cold, be a gentleman. put her in the oven for 40 minutes on 350. check often and serve plain or with white gravy

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Me *See’s thick chick selfie* Damn she fine as hell i should comment some nasty shit to get her attention

Me: *Stops thinking with my dick* Nah

*likes post and keeps scrollin* 

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*youth pastor voice* here’s something that’s “on fleek”…….the lord

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ICONIC

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me, lonely as shit: i'm lonely as shit

anyone: hey do you want to hang out m-

me, exhausted suddenly: no

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wait

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character development

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“Shapeshifting, but only once” is still one of the funniest concepts to me

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happy finals week i’m dying 🙃