useless-cottagecore-goblin

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

hi hello yes welcome to my Encanto theory/AU, in which.

Mirabel became the candle.

and, thus, became effectively immortal.

200 years post the events of the movie, she’s still there, in the house, helping out the future generation of Madrigal’s. a golden glow seems to constantly surround her, causing her to literally light up whatever room she walks into.

she’s most often found sitting on the window ledge where the candle used to sit, sewing plush toys and clothes for the kids. she also frequently wanders around the house, entering the future Madrigal’s rooms and checking in on them frequently.

one day, one of the Madrigal kid’s tells her that they feel… scared. they’re worried about themself, their powers, and what their future could hold for them. they don’t want to grow older, so on and so forth.

and Mirabel just gives them a gentle smile, and tells them to follow her.

she leads them over to a blank spot on the wall, and, gently, she knocks her hip against it.

and before the kid’s eyes, a glowing door forms.

Mirabel leans against the wall beside it, and with a soft look in her eyes, gestures for the kid to go in. the kid turns the doorknob, steps in, and-

there’s Bruno.

…

basically, when a member of the Madrigal family dies, they basically become part of the house. as such, Mirabel or Casita can summon any past Madrigal, whenever they wish it or deem it necessary.

a prank war between the younger future Madrigal’s has gotten out of hand?? well here’s Camilo, he’ll out prank both of them AND set them straight

someone feels like their emotions are over powering them, and can’t figure out how to manage their anger?? Pepa is right there with a warm drink and a whole story about the worst thunderstorm of her life.

someone who’s dating one of the Madrigal’s thinks they aren’t worthy of being included?? well heres Felix, Augustin, and Mariano, ready to tell them they’re wrong.

somebody refuses to change their ways? Alma is ready to teach them a lesson that took her far too long to learn.

a Madrigal is putting too much pressure on themself?? Luisa is right there to tell them to take a breather.

so on and so forth. they appear when needed (and sometimes when not. some Madrigal’s have woken up in the middle of the night to find Mirabel having a small party in the kitchen with the others) to help out the future generation.

of course… i can imagine the kind of shenanigans this would lead into, such as one of the kids showing Mirabel some new tech, and Mirabel almost immediately summoning Bruno just to go “is THIS why you made that joke back in 1967????”

theres so many possibilities here to be honest. idk whether i’ll develop this Au into something more or not, but we’ll see

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

Ray should have met Five. If he thought Klaus was the family nut job, wait until he met the apocalypse gremlin child.

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

look,,,,,my boy,,,baby pogo

#baby pogo hargreeves #baby pogo #pogo hargreeves #tua pogo #tua season two #tua #the umbrella academy s2 #the umbrella academy #BABY POGO TIME #LOOK AT MY BABY BOY IM SO PROUD OF HIM

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

are they shitposting us?

Diego and Luther’s Epic Robot Battle Royale

(via The Umbrella Academy Instagram ☂️)

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

I already saw someone simping for young Reginald what the hell you guys ik the purple suit is iconic but please im begging you my two braincells can't handle this

#the umbrella academy s2 #the umbrella academy #tua season 2 #tua #tua reginald #young Reginald #reginald hargreeves #im going feral #this fandom had ONE JOB #you're all disappointing me and i didnt even have expectations

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

🎶 Who wants me to go on a rant about how sad Ben Hargreeves is oops doesn't matter because I'm doing it anyways so I can procrastinate more on writing 🎶

Goddamn where do I even start he's so sad like-

My boy over here absolutely hating himself and his powers. He was literally nicknamed 'The Horror' like what the fuck he's probably over here thinking he's an absolute monster.

So this power that he absolutely hates is trained for 17 years. For 17 years the sole focus of his life was on the one thing he hated the most. For 17 years he was trained by his abusive and horrible father.

Also, his power is painful. His father forces him to have his stomach ripped open probably every day for training and/or missions. His stomach is literally ripped open by these tentacle things that he has to control and force to kill people. He has been forced to kill people from the time he was 13 (probably before that too) to 17. And he hated it. And it's painful his stomach is literally ripped open.

And when he's 13 his brother literally disappears. His brother that a lot of people assume that he was close with. (Or more close to than the rest of his family).

Continuing on the family thing, he didn't really have one. He had an abusive father, a robot mother, a monkey butler and six siblings that he rarely interacted with. Doesn't sound like the funnest family to me.

And then. He dies.

After 17 years of doing everything their father told them, after 17 years of having his stomach ripped open, he fucking dies. He dies and has to watch as his family drifts further apart afterwards. Probably blames himself for that too, especially after what he read in Vanyas book.

So he's dead, but he has a medium brother, right? So it can't be that bad. But it is.

The only person he can talk to for 13 years is Klaus. Don't get me wrong, I love Klaus, but u don't think anyone would want for him to be the only person they could talk to.

For 13 years, he watched, unable to help as his brother continuously threw away the life Ben never got to live. And he tried to help but it's not like he could do anything other than be moral support. He couldn't take the drugs from Klaus, couldn't call for someone to help when he OD. He just had to watch and hope that his brother wouldn't die.

That's another thing, for 13 years, he couldn't touch anyone. And like, I know that that doesn't necessarily sound terrible, but think about it. For 13 years, he couldn't hug anyone, couldn't pat anyone's shoulder, couldn't shove anyone. I don't think a lot of people realize how often you touch people but like it's a whole lot and he couldn't do that for 13 years. And the first contact he had in 13 years was punching Klaus and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing in Bens eyes.

And like?? Knowing that the fate of one person, your one connection to the mortal world, would greatly affect what happened to you? Not a great thought, not a great though at all.

And then, for the first time in 13 years, he releases the horror again and has to kill people again. He has to do a thing that he never thought he's have to do again. Not fun. Not fun at all. Especially since ghosts aren't supposed to feel pain but apparently if your corporeal and your stomach rips open you can feel it and you scream. Not fun.

Also???? He can't eat. That sucks. Like not being able to eat for 13 years? My worst nightmare ngl

Basically to sum it up-

For 17 years Ben Hargreeves followed his fathers every order of killing and training the thing he hated most about himself. Then, he died, and the only connection to the world he had was his brother that wasn't very connected to the world himself. Basically, he's really fucking sad and to be honest I could say more but this is already getting long.

💜 If you want me to go on more rants about how sad a certain Hargreeves is then just send an ask because I will gladly do it even though I'm crying rn 💜

(Sidenote: It took everything in me to not use all caps when I wrote this out.)

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

pop culture interpretation of frankenstein type characters: (stands under the storm, laughs maniacally as a lightning awakens their monster with its electricity) ITS ALIVE

canon frankenstein: (runs into his bedroom and locks the door after his monster opens its eye) holY FCUK ITS AL IV E FUCKIGN SHIT FUCK FUCK FUC K

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

you would not believe this song has been here for quite so long and that tomorrow’s its date of birth

nine years in a waking dream and now with a comeback meme the parodies spring up from all round the earth

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

You are ALL valid!!!

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

⚖️ this or that asks

1 - thunderstorms or rainbows?

2 - books or movies?

3 - hoodies or denim jackets?

4 - city or countryside?

5 - achieve world peace or end world hunger?

6 - pop or rock?

7 - many acquaintances or a few close friends?

8 - cats or dogs?

9 - antiheroes or sympathetic villains?

10 - catchy beat or deep lyrics?

11 - bright colours or pastels?

12 - greek or roman mythology?

13 - coffee or tea?

14 - sweet or savoury?

15 - reading or writing?

16 - summer or winter?

17 - autumn or spring?

18 - strawberry or mango?

19 - friendship or romance?

20 - headphones or earbuds?

21 - rom-coms or horror?

22 - morning person or night owl?

23 - dark or brightly coloured clothes?

24 - easter or halloween?

25 - metal or rap?

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

ohmygod i can see this happening already

Almost everyone: If any of you motherfuckers want to fuck Carmichael I am leaving this fandom! Me: *vibrating at the speed of light, totally frightened because I know that there will be that one person out there who is going to write a Young Reginald FF after S2 drops* Can I cry yet?

NO NO NO NOOO NOO NO NOOOOO NO NO NO.

No.

No.

.... NOOOOOOO.

If y’all get thirsty for young!Reginald then I sweeaaarrrr I am gone. GONE! I know I said that for Carmichael on that one post and everyone said they wanted to fuck the fish BUT THIS TIME I MEAN IT

I mean it

I’m not even just leaving. I’m going nuclear. I’m destroying my blog. There will be no trace left.

#ao3 better get its shit together FAST #i dont wanna be looking for Klave shit and see this bs #lord please end us all #this is ACTUALLY how the apocalypse happens #someone writes this and the fandom goes FERAL

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

NATIVE AMERICANS ARE GOING MISSING

NATIVE AMERICANS ARE GOING MISSING

NATIVE AMERICANS ARE GOING MISSING

NATIVE AMERICANS ARE GOING MISSING

SIGNAL BOOST THE SHIT OUTTA THIS

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

im what the victorians would call a “vile, ill-tempered and thoroughly wretched little creature”

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

don’t ever feel bad for asking me to tag a trigger

i do not care what the trigger is

i will tag it for you

you have legitimate reasons to be triggered by it

and i am not one to question those reasons

so just send me an ask

anonymous if you’re scared

and i will tag it all the time in future

your wellbeing is worth twenty extra seconds of my time at least

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

Update

Gillian Philip is doxxing fans and MINORS now. A fan recently sent her an email voicing their concerns about her views and the impact they have on her work and fan base. Gillian decided to post the fan’s full name and email address to their PUBLIC Twitter in an attack. The fan is a MINOR who runs a Warriors fan account. How disgusting do you have to be to dox and potentially HARM a MINOR!?

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

if i have to see this, so do you

AGSJDK WHEN WAS SOMEONE GONNA TELL ME HAMILTON IS THE ONCELER

#Hamilton #Lorax #the onceler #alexander hamilton #lord please end us all #seriously wtf

[useless-cottagecore-goblin]

ok thats better then, i just got mega worried that people shipped this since it just came up on my feed

are you really a tua fan if you dont ship pogo x reginald ✊