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PLEASE JUST SHOW ME THE CASSEROLE RECIPE

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marine biology is so scary because it’s such a small field. i was giving a talk on cetaceans and afterward a woman approached me with her husband and she said, “you did very well. [husband’s name] actually pioneered the research and published the first paper on that. We were very impressed by you.”

Which is such a scientific interpretation/public education win I will cherish forever but also for the rest of my life any time I give a talk I will be haunted by the knowledge that the world’s leading expert who literally discovered/invented the topic might be in the room,

which is like, the opposite of what you’re supposed to do for stage fright. In fact I never used to experience stage fright but now I will.

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Dolly Parton has come to do a show in my town. We couldn't afford tickets, so me and my mom sold my stepdad so we could go.

It turned out that we sold him to Dolly Parton, she made him sing with her and then she gave him back.

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Does anyone wanna give me weed money for the holiday 😂

“I don’t care about dumb weed jokes,” I said naively, before I saw this

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Marlene Dietrich is detained at a train station in Paris in 1933 for violating the ban on women wearing trousers.

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I was on here at 11 and it was hetalia

If you guys were on here at 11 years old what would you be posting about

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More examples of the WORST mansplaining here.

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Yesterday night a lady came through our drive through and was like “the way the planets are aligning and the fact that we’re getting a blood moon has me worried. I sense severe werewolf activities on the horizon. You better walk your coworker to her car tonight after you’ve closed” and I didn’t even know what to say I was just like “yes ma’am”

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How zionists talk about the murder of 4, 8 and 10 years old children

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Mean Girls (2004) House MD (2009)

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guy who installs an adblocker and forgets about it and lives in a beautiful world where online ads have become much less frequent

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THE LIFE AND DEATH OF HÜRREM SULTAN | day 6: death

“[Hürrem Sultan]’s health had been declining, although just when it became a serious matter is not clear. Her death in the spring of 1558 apparently stemmed from a combination of chronic illness and more immediate factors. The Venetian ambassador Antonio Barbarigo, who had arrived in Istanbul in September 1556, informed the Senate in 1558 that she had become very reluctant to be parted from Suleyman. […] She was “the mistress of the life of this gentleman, by whom she was extremely loved. And because she wants him always near her and is doubtful for her own life on account of illness, she rarely or never lets him part from her.” […] On April 15, 1558, the new French ambassador to Istanbul, Jean de la Vigne, sent a letter to a colleague announcing the departure of a great Ottoman fleet headed to the Mediterranean (it would ultimately win the Battle of Jerba). He went on to report that “La Assaqui” (the Haseki) had died early that morning. So great was the sultan’s grief that he aged greatly. “They say that the day before she died,” wrote de la Vigne, “he promised her and swore by the soul of his father Selim that he would never approach another woman.” […] Another ambassador, also present in the capital, left a near-daily record of his doings from his arrival on March 30 until his departure at the beginning of June. This was Kutbeddin el-Mekki (the Meccan), an envoy sent by the sharif of Mecca, steward of the two holy cities. […] On April 15, [Hürrem] died, “unable to recover from the illness she had been suffering for quite a while,” Kutbeddin wrote, “and she was also stricken with malaria and colic.” Funeral prayers were held at the mosque of Bayezid II, where prayers for Mehmed had been performed fifteen years earlier. […] The chief mufti, Ebu Suud, a close friend of Suleyman’s old age, led the funeral prayers. The queen was interred in the cemetery enclosed by the walls of the Suleymaniye, where Ebu Suud buried her with his own hands. Soon an elegant tomb would rise to house her in death. Eight years later Suleyman would join his beloved for eternity in a nearby tomb of his own. In his travel memoir, Kutbeddin composed a kind of epitaph for [Hürrem]: There are many charitable foundations and good works of hers in the Noble Sanctuaries and Jerusalem and other cities. It is said that she was Russian by origin.… Because she pleased the sultan, he married her and in this way the deceased finally achieved the status she held. She influenced the sultan to the degree that the state of many affairs lay in her hands. She had many children, they are Selim, Bayezid, Mehmed, Cihangir, and the Lady Sultan. As long as their mother lived, these siblings got along well but after her death, discord arose among them. It is said that her name was Hurrem Sultan. The sultan loved her to distraction and his heart has broken with her death.” – Leslie Peirce, Empress of the East: How a European Slave Girl Became Queen of the Ottoman Empire

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Sounds like my man