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vehementlyviolet-blog · 10 years
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I love you, even though we're wrong for each other. I hope you're happy.
Moi
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 10 years
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There’s a grey area in dating many people get hung up on — a grey area where feelings are ambiguous or one person has stronger…
I've seen this posted a few times now, and I felt the need to share it. Honestly, I just ended a relationship. Yesterday, though it actually was probably already over in reality. I just didn't get the memo.  The one that explained that my now ex-beloved wasn't really willing to do **** for me. That he'd happily accept all my sacrifices and compromises, but wouldn't lift a god damned finger for me. He'd watch me bend and damn near break, but never make a move to ease my burden.  At the end of the day, I didn't mean enough to him for him to alter his behaviour. In any way whatsoever.
That's just not good enough for me. It's every person's right to choose how to conduct themselves, and how to live their life.  It's my choice to say that is insufficient. That saying you love me isn't enough, when you barely ever show it. 
I'm coping. I'm surviving the pain of it, but I'm not myself at the moment. I hope it doesn't take me very long to get back to myself. I hope I'm not as emotionally bruised as I have been before. In some ways, I'm the best off I've ever been after a break up. It was entirely mutual. It was civil. I cried a ton, but most of those tears didn't make it down my cheeks, but rather existed on the precipice; ready to fall, but unable to make the leap into existence. I guess I'm hoping that I'll be that way again: ready to fall. Whole enough to let myself hope once more that someone will love me the way I'm capable of loving them. 
Time will tell.
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 10 years
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Twerking is like fucking air.
Drew Gabbin
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 10 years
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Twerking is like fucking air.
Drew Gabbin
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 10 years
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How did I miss this? #ginandjuice #snoop
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Brian Williams is sipping on Gin and Juice.
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 10 years
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I totally quit Glee but love this. #glee #laurynhill
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Full Performance of “Doo Wop (That Thing)”
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 10 years
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Frequently
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 10 years
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Yup
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 10 years
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Yaaaaaaaay #meangirls
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Love this film, most quotable ever
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 10 years
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Oooooooh Emma
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Lip Sync Battle with Emma Stone
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 10 years
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I suck
Gah. How has it seriously been this long since I posted? Life has been all over the map this past year. I started with a new firm in November, but obviously I'd been negligent before that. Sorry. I'll try harder!
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 10 years
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So much love for Takei!
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Like/share only if you get it right away. No spoilers! http://ift.tt/R1liNH
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 11 years
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Shit, man
I have a date on Sunday night. With a bearded man. 
Colour me petrified. I'm away too broken to try again. Right?
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 11 years
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Ellie does this. She is better than a bunny.
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 11 years
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TOTALLY NOBODY DOES!
Except sometimes Amy. Amy LOVES my blog.
do you ever wonder if anyone reads your blog like everyday just to check on you 
No one does.
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 11 years
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KITTAY!
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I looked up from my phone and saw this.
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vehementlyviolet-blog · 11 years
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Alejandro
For maybe a month and a bit, I've been talking to this man in France who takes the most beautiful photographs.  Photos are the reason we actually started talking in the first place. I love his photographs.  I lived in France once, many years ago, and his pictures take me back to that beautiful, picturesque country,rich with history and snobbery and beauty.  *sigh*
I follow his photo account, and have for many months, but because he's in France, and the photo comments were always in French or Spanish, I was too shy to say anything. One day I noticed he had Kik, and so I added Kik to my account, quietly, passively, hoping he might notice and say hello.
I must lead a bit of a charmed life, because he did.  That was back on March 23rd.  It became clear rather quickly that his English wasn't so hot, so we switched to French.  My French is quite passable, and I can get by, but it's not perfect, and I'm anything but subtle. 
In the intervening time, we've talked quite a lot, but sometimes Alejandro (not only does this man live in France, he's a fiery Latin American, too!) gets a bit moody.  
I should point out I don't harbour any illusions as to what's going on. I've learned a bit about Alejandro.  He's well-educated, older (almost 40), for the most part pleasant, and seems quite taken with me. Our exchanges have grown increasingly affectionate over the weeks, but I didn't really lose track of myself.  Maybe he expected me to?
I once remarked that I liked taking photos, but music was the real love of my life, and he jokingly asked if he wasn't the love of my life. I bluntly said he didn't love me, so how he could be the love of my life? Apparently it's up to him to say whether he or doesn't feel that way, which I suppose is fair.
I just don't ever really know if he's going to assume my horribly blunt French is malicious or mean-spirited. *sigh*
Men!
Anyway, we've been exchanging quasi-racy photos (nothing with faces or anything to actually identify either of us, so who knows if it's actually Alejandro's delightful body I'm seeing), and I've sent him 4 little voice messages, most in French, but I did hazard a go at Spanish once. 
I've asked numerous times to reciprocate, and I'm starting to wonder if he's got some problem. Perhaps a really bad stutter, or a speech impediment of some kind?  I wonder what gives?
Never mind. I ASKED. Why not be direct, right?
"So, I know it's late there, but I wanted to ask you why you haven't sent me a message. Do you not like the sound of your voice, or something?"
SO UNIMPRESSED.  
"I don't like talking on the phone, and I like leaving messages even less. After recording you have to copy it and open an email... so I don't really want to do it, and honestly, it was your idea not mine, given I don't like talking."
WTF?! 
Who thinks is an appropriate excuse for not reciprocating?
Evidently, Alejandro.
*sigh*
But, of course, I didn't have the energy to even bother making a big deal of it.  I just said, "Okay. Sleep well."
THAT'S IT. Nada mas, amigos.  Alejandro has been moody on enough occasions for the two of us, and if he can't be fussed to even let me know what his voice sounds like, I'm sure as SHIT not going to be bothered ever making an effort to meet him.
Oh, did I forget to mention that?
One night, while we were saying goodnight, he says, "When are you coming to visit me?" I asked if that was what he wanted. "Of course." I pointed out it costs a lot of money to buy a ticket to Paris...  "I agree, but its's something we should think about, no? Not immediately, but I want to get to know you."
Ballsucking lazy piece of shit. You don't even halfway DESERVE to know me.
Men are such tiny-dicked wonders somedays, I'm astonished the human race has survived this far. 
I leave you with the song that Amy immediately thought of when I told her about Alejandro... Thanks Gaga.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNqIUb2RdGQ
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