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#( aesthetic. )

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actually i deserve to have glowing yellow eyes and teeth a little sharper than normal. i earned it

#( musing. )

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Ore to Mou Ichido, Hatsukoi✧ First Love With Me Again, ch. 1

#( musing. ) #let’s change the way this story ends ( everemore )

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@everemore said: the duality of seeing your wife fight but also being in danger. that just means he needs to fight alongside her to make sure she's safe AND have front row seats!

It's tough, he is in full support of her knowing how to fight and being able to keep herself safe! He will even teach her himself and help her practice! But the whole throwing herself into dangerous places thing isn't... He's not... Please... No....

#( once and future king. ) #everemore #{ my arthur really is 'anything i can do my wife can do better' #until she's saying she'll go on the battlefield with him #and he's having a literal nervous break down #Ruler now understands why Kay forbade him from knighting Kelemon

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But think about how much less danger and trouble she would have been in if we had just given Guin a sword and said murder is ok if you're in danger.

#( once and future king. ) #( gawain take the wheel! ) #{ legit my arthur thinks guinevere being able to fight is hot #but he would have a nervous breakdown if she ever got anywhere near a battle

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Lucan smiled faintly as he chewed on the biscuit, her confusion at his sudden casual attitude breaking through her distress enough for her to consider other options. "Maybe it's 'cause girls are taught differently, but most of you seems to panic once you have to really fight for something." He shrugged at the off handed observation. "I'll give you advice as a knight; Easy victories aren't worth it. Sure you win, but it doesn't feel right. There's always something missing." He took another bite of the snack in his hand, pausing for a moment to chew and swallow, giving her time to consider those words, before adding. "It's also impossible to win a hard battle alone."

"Probably." The one word answer was given before the young man half tossed the last of his snack into his mouth to finish, and stood up while dusting off his hands. Arthur had no reason to doubt him, and even if he did realize Lucan had lied and went somewhere else the brunette was confident in being able to find him. "But I can't let you go with your face looking like that, I'll get scolded." Lucan walked around the table and offered her his hand, once more the picture of a perfect gentleman in both speech and conduct. "I will escort you as My Lord requested. It will make no difference if we go immediately or if we stop first to wash your face." Arthur had said to look after her, and that meant making sure strange rumors didn't start because she was going around looking like she was crying. He had the castle paths and passages memorized to make for a quick and relatively unseen trip.

"Yes..?" She had assumed that it was merely a ruse, she remembered Lucan was resourceful and quick to read the situation back then, and it wouldn't be a surprise . But she had never seen the butler like this in her past life. It was alarming to hear him drop his usual tone of speech. It was alarming to the point she feared she had made a grave mistake until she took a moment to listen his words.

If she could see this side of Lucan, a side she never saw in her past life.... Perhaps more could be changed. If she and Arthur worked together.... Could they perhaps change fate this time?

"I don't know what I should do." Finally, she looks to where the King had walked off. "I..... There is a part of me that wants to run after him, but another part that tells me.... I know the easiest path would be to go our separate ways."

"But if we could find a way..... In truth I want nothing more than to stay by his side." Even if she was destined to fall in love with the moon, she had learned to love the sun and that love was just as real..... Even if reaching out may burn and singe her hands she did not want to let go of that warmth.

"Lucan.... He should be in his office correct? Would it be too soon— Or even too late to speak with him?"

#everemore #de integro ( of second chances )

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The truth was it? He wondered what sort of truth would leave a pair that had been so comfortable before absolutely distraught after what should have been simple conversation. It was baffling. For a moment the brunette closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before he exhaled slowly. Arthur had said he was leaving 'Lucan', which to others might not have meant much, but he knew that both Arthur and Kay were particular in how they addressed people. Whether it was on purpose or not Arthur had left his friend Lucan behind, not his butler, and so the brunette walked over to the table and sat down in the very place that the King had just left.

"Lady Guinevere, when Arthur introduced me earlier do you remember what he called me?" The King's friend and trusted shadow. While the second title was something that Lucan found rather embarrassing, even he could admit there was a reason for it. "I'm going to be honest with you. My brother isn't waiting with an urgent message, I lied to give my friend a way out. Of course I don't think he'll notice that until he reaches his study." There was nothing accusatory in Lucan's voice as he spoke, even though he completely dodged her statements and requests, but he lacked his usual formality. The knight reached out to the tray of snacks and picked up a biscuit that was there, "That's the kind of person I am, but more importantly that's how bad Arthur looked. So why would that person leave me, who is biased in his favor, here with you? Whatever this truth you told was, was enough to make the bravest person I know after my brother leave like that but not before leaving behind someone to look after you." The King who looked about to fall apart in confusion when he arrived had left his shadow behind. "I don't meddle where I'm not wanted, but in this case I'll make an exception." The knight broke the biscuit in his hand and pointed at her with half of it briefly as he spoke before eating it, "You should follow his example, and not be so quick to give up. That guy, once he gets decides something it's not like him to give up. He might retreat, but he doesn't give up."

Ah,

unfortunate he says.

Just what other reaction was she expecting? That he would take her hands and reassure her that he will not let that future come to pass? That they would learn from the mistakes made in her vision? No that was impossible. He was a brilliant man, even he knew when to back down if the warnings were clear enough.

She did lift her her gaze once from her cup as she heard the King get up. The princess couldn't bare to see what sort of expression he had on his face. If she did she would have broken.

It was best this way, she would no longer be able to hurt him, yet she felt disgust as a part of her begged to go after him. She cannot let her own desires get in the way. It was he and his people that deserved happiness, not her.

"I told him the truth." Something she should have done in her past life. "I finally was able to speak my mind and yet.... I feel worse for it." There was a crack in her voice as she leans over the table to press her palms into her face as she held back tears. "Please.... Please do not tell him of what you see here Sir Lucan. I have already disappointed him enough."

Her shoulders shake as she silently cries at the table. How ironic, that the only time she had ever cried so pathetically was over the loss of her king in her past life, and now in the present as well. At least he would leave her for a brighter future instead of being buried beneath her feet.

This was necessary, she tries to reason with her heart. The Earth was only meant to admire the Sun her king and the Moon her knight. To try and reach either let alone both would bring ruin to everything. She dare not make the same mistake again. "I'm sorry Sir Lucan..... This is two bad impressions in a row now isn't it?" Her attempt at humor was dry as she drops her hands to finally look up at the Butler with a torn smile.

"Please allow me a few more minutes and then I will head back to my quarters. Oh, please give the left over snacks to the servants or any of the guards...... I would hate to see the effort of the chefs who prepared such delicious food go to waste."

#everemore #de integro ( of second chances ) #{ I DON'T know what just happened here #this is a mildly feral lucan that i have NEVER seen before

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Whelp, that's the AU guys. Guin and Arthur are now off to be forever alone. Thanks for watching.

#ooc ( chatter ) #{ I'm JOKING

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He will immediately oblige by picking the little familiar up and giving the requested scritches.

Cath palug staring at all the Arthurs. Gibe. Scritchie.

#( once and future king. ) #avaloniamagus #post tenebras lux ( for masters & magic ) #{ if an animal says give scritches the answer is always yes

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@toadmiretoweepover said: same hat!

It must be genetic!

#( once and future king. ) #( gawain take the wheel! ) #toadmiretoweepover

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The red flags are clear, but red happens to be his favorite color.

#( once and future king. ) #( shit posting. )

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I love how Arthur goes from "lol Merlin told me but I wasn't gonna listen" to absolute panic because he wasn't going to listen to Merlin but now he has to if he doesn't want to ruin everything according to a second vision recipient.

#ooc ( chatter ) #{ this is why we listen to Merlin from the beginning

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Hold on, he needs a moment to have an existential crisis... And maybe cuddle his dogs.

#( once and future king. ) #( gawain take the wheel! ) #de integro ( of second chances )

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Gold eyes blinked at her initial reaction, the young man effectively freezing in place for a moment before saying slowly, "He gave me a warning..." Arthur just didn't plan on listening to it, as he was prone to doing every so often when the advice contradicted what he wanted. As Guinevere shared her story with him Arthur's raised hand which had been reaching for another snack slowly lowered to rest against the table, and then retreated to cross over the other against his chest. There was something in her words that drove guilt into his heart for some reason, leaving him feeling uncomfortable and not entirely knowing why.

The blond closed his eyes as he thought. Merlin's warning had not been nearly as detailed as the account she gave him, but it was in effect the same. His teacher had advised against the marriage citing that her fate was tied to another one of his knights. What was it that he had told his teacher at the time? Something about being overly worried, or how if he liked her enough fate was something he could change. Maybe he shouldn't have been so quick to dismiss his teacher after all if not one, but two people were warned. He wasn't as confident anymore after hearing more details that he alone could change that fate.

"How unfortunate..." The quiet words were spoken with a sigh as he reached out for his cup, gold eyes watching the swirling liquid inside. "Truly..." He didn't want to give up, it wasn't in his nature to do so. Once he set his signs on something, once he decided on something, he saw it through to the end. So surely even with this there had to be some way... Abruptly Arthur ruffled his own hair with a frustrated sigh, that weird uncomfortable feeling resurfacing again as soon as he thought about still going forward, before setting his cup back down and folding his hands neatly on his lap hiding the agitated tapping that they started. "I see the problem," It was him, he was the problem. Merlin had told him and now Guinevere was telling him that there was no good future, but here he was trying to find a way to prove them wrong. "Thank you for telling me your story."

"My Lady, Your Majesty...?" Lucan's vaguely concerned voice broke into the conversation, drawing Arthur's attention. The brunette was smiling, but his brows were furrowed, and when they made eye contact there was a split second where his friend frowned before he bowed to both of them. "I apologize for interrupting your meal, but my brother has an urgent message for you. He is waiting in your study."

"I see." Arthur sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before he stood up from his seat. He had no way of knowing if this was a true message or an escape route, but part of him was thankful nonetheless. "I apologize, it seems I must leave first. I'll leave Lucan for you if you need anything." "Your Majesty?" "I can find my own study." "... Very well." The butler relented with a sigh, and Arthur smiled at him thankfully before nodding to Guinevere and starting to walk away. He got only two steps before he paused, as if he remembered something before turning back to smile at Guinevere.

"About that story you told me. Try not to let it bother you any longer, Princess." With a final nod, Arthur left the terrace and for several moments nothing was said before Lucan, who remained behind as ordered, finally opened his mouth.

"May... I ask what happened?"

She was going to speak, to reassure him her mother and father were not the problem (though his father did have a secret child hiding away somewhere, the False Guinevere she so distastefully remembers) but as she was about to take a cup she falters, nearly tipping over the tea in the process.

"You knew...? You know this whole time that it would happen and you didn't tell me?" It came out before she could stop herself. She was in disbelief. "I—God is this your way of continuing your punishment?" She groans after she drags her fingers down her face in exasperation. "Before you say anything further, there is no such person yet. But I know my fate." With a frown she takes her cup and takes a sip before continuing. "To preface, I am no seer like Merlin. But shortly before our first meeting I had a vision." She could not bring herself to admit it was a future she lived through rather than witness, a selfish desire.

"I saw us wed as strangers, and despite us learning to love one another over time, I was destined to fall in love with another man who in turn also fell in love with me." She explains with shame in her voice. Dare she even speak the knight's name? "I couldn't bring myself to tell you at the time and spent years bottling up those feelings until we suffered great loss and you grew cold and distant. And in our weakness I...." She takes a deep breath and grabs a pastry to take a bite.

"We betrayed your trust. And when it was found out everything fell apart.... I know it wasn't the main reason for the events that followed but I saw myself wallowing in despair as I proceeded to lose everything I held dear."

"I would have thought it was simply more than a bad nightmare had I not seen you and came to realize you looked and acted exactly as you were in my vision. The first words you spoke to me were even the same. I'm sorry for not being honest from the beginning for the reason as to I don't want this marriage to happen... But when I saw you I became frightened of that future coming true and ultimately hurt everyone I love."

#( once and future king. ) #everemore #de integro ( of second chances )

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I didn't know who it was, and I forgot by the time he showed up.

But you should have warned her!!! She could have tried making sure she never saw him!!!!

#( once and future king. ) #( gawain take the wheel! )

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But... You're so pretty, and smart, and nice... Why should he have to listen to people telling him to stop?

WDYM HER HUSBAND KNEW SHE WAS DESTINED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER MAN??????

#( once and future king. ) #everemore #( gawain take the wheel! ) #{ he's a dumbass guin what do you expect?

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Teacher has done nothing wrong ever.

#( once and future king. )