was-quoting-god
MeMes
There will not be pie. Well, I guess that’s a spoiler. What the hell, I’ll spoil it. No pie. Also, no cake. We’ve retired the cake.
RULES
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do you guys miss me or has everyone forgotten we exist just wonderin
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Howdy, could I draw some of these?
Sure thing! Just be sure to tag us so we can see!
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Some kid: Hey, Mister Wheatley, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie-pop?
Wheatley: I don't have a tongue, so I guess the world will never know.
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“A potato flew around my room before you came~”
Chell, swinging PotatOS around on a string
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Chell: I wrote a song as tribute to every single robot I met along my journey here.
Chell: It’s called “Stop talking to me.”
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I love all of my test subjects equally, but truthfully, they aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer. In fact, they're not even the sharpest spoons in the drawer. Most of the time, they aren’t even in the drawer at all. Most of the time they happen to be lost somewhere at the bottom of the dishwasher secretly looking for ways to kill me.
GLaDOS
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Being a pessimist is great. I’m always either right or pleasantly surprised.
Doug Rattmann
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Wheatley: Hello! Time to get out of bed, the simulated sun is up!
Chell: So? It's not like I need to photosynthesize or anything.
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Rick: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rock-star. I'm not proud of it.
Fact: False. The Adventure Sphere is very proud of it, as he makes a concerted effort to work it into every conversation that he is a part of.
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Wheatley: Question: when they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that to be a sad moment... at all?
GLaDOS: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fancy home somewhere.
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Chell: Why are you helping me?
Wheatley: Because my life is a mess and I instinctively look for opportunities to try and help others when I don’t even know how to help myself.
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Greg: When are you going to learn, sir? This facility is a horrible place filled with fear, suffering, and despair! Also dashed hopes, shattered dreams, broken promises, and abject misery.
Cave: But it’s OUR horrible place, Greg! With the BEST damned abject misery there is!
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Chell: When have I done anything rash or irresponsible?
GLaDOS: I keep a list. It’s alphabetized.
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GLaDOS: Gentle reminder that you shouldn’t eat too much cake before testing.
Chell: [Continues scarfing down cake]
GLaDOS: This WAS supposed to be a gentle reminder, but your continued defiance and lack of words bring me ungodly amounts of rage.
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Cave: It’s quick, it’s easy, it costs twenty bucks: pouring river water in your socks!
Greg: Why would anyone want to do that?
Cave: Because, Greg: it’s quick, it’s easy, and it costs twenty bucks.
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Doug: You remind me of the ocean.
GLaDOS: Why? Because I’m deep and mysterious?
Doug: No, because you’re full of salt and you scare people.
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Aperture: [Puts a human brain in a robot]
Aperture: Why does this robot have feelings?
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