waukrife

[waukrife]

Every time I see that nasty lil Binch yoda I just wanna bust out the mortar and pestle ! Turn that little avothoto into some guac-a-mole LOL!

#yodaposting

[waukrife]

They didn’t even have astroglide quiver strawberry warming lube in pirate times they had to use like oil from a fish

[waukrife]

i’m micro plastic maxing. i want to give birth to a baby that’s already got shoes on

[waukrife]

red mages are called that because they derive their power from the immortal science of marxist-leninism, and are strictly speaking a kind of cleric, but traditionally not classified as such due to the USSR’s policy of state atheism

[waukrife]

Every time i purchase a moderately expensive item the Karl Marx on my shoulder is like "For shame... you purchase yet another pair of jeans when you have 5 already at home, you despicable commodity fetishist? In my time, a man with five outfits would consider himself blessed beyond measure, and yet you want for more, while there are children starving in the world??" to which the second Karl Marx on my other shoulder says "Objection! Those 5 pairs of jeans all wildly uncomfortable or have holes in the ass, due to the decline of clothing quality driven by the fast fashion industry, unfortunately making this purchase a necessity... Plus, by purchasing a slightly more expensive pair of jeans from an independent brand, seeking quality over 'brand recognition', they are deliberately trying to avoid engaging in conspicuous consumption!" to which the third Karl Marx clinging to my back like that beetle from Doctor Who says "Remember, my friend; the less you eat, drink, buy books, go to the theatre or to balls, or to the pub, and the less you think, love, theorize, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you will be able to save and the greater will become your treasure which neither moth nor rust will corrupt — your capital. Buy the jeans," to which I say "I don't know if any of you have actually read Karl Marx"

[waukrife]

happy FUCKING birthday to hiccup horrendous haddock the third. put some respect on his name

[waukrife]

#yodaposting

[waukrife]

Just came clean to a dear friend about the yoda blog. It ain’t easy being green.

#yodaposting #we’re so back baby #I say and then don’t post for another year

[waukrife]

one thing the Mandalorian has made clear

is that Yoda wasn’t on Dagobah for any mystical Force reasons, he was there because it was a literal smorgasbord for him. he was the apex predator in that bog, everything for miles around was probably TERRIFIED of him. every food chain ended in Yoda & his death came as a huge relief to the entire ecosystem.

[waukrife]

of course you have a full suit of armour both marking you as the romantic ideal of masculinity and obscuring your body so completely that your sex loses importance when signifying your gender and class. and pronouns

#⚔️

[waukrife]

Me: *googling an object to learn about it*

Google: Buy? You want to buy? Buying it? Amazon Etsy eBay Wish Shein? You are buying it now?

[waukrife]

[waukrife]

hades and persephone except [tells it worse than ever before/the same as every other modern adaptation]

[waukrife]

worlds specialist fish

[waukrife]

Qui-Gon Jinn apologist not in that I defend him but in that I’m always apologizing for his shit

[waukrife]

Ive noticed recently that my generation has... no concept of what the various economic classes actually are anymore. I talk to my friends and they genuinely say things like "at least i can afford a middle class lifestyle with this job because i dont need a roommate for my one bedroom apartment" and its like... oughh

You guys, middle class doesnt mean "a stable enough rented roof over your head," it means "a house you bought, a nice car or two, the ability to support a family, and take days off and vacations every year with income to spare for retirement savings and rainy days." If all you have is a rented apartment without a roommate and a used car, you're lower class. That's lower class.

And i cant help but wonder if this is why you get kids on tumblr lumping in doctors and actors into their "eat the rich" rhetoric: economic amnesia has blinded you to what the class divides actually are. The real middle class lifestyle has become so unattainable within a system that relies upon its existence that theyve convinced you that those who can still reach it are the elites while your extreme couponing to afford your groceries is the new normal.

[waukrife]

employees should be allowed to steal, actually