weakest-thoughts
PRINCE TULIP
just thoughts and feelings from the half of me that's white trash.
323 posts
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22/04/24
Remembering those days some girls rocking some good outfits or in badass motorbikes or classic cars were popping up on my reels and you got mad saying that was some Dirty Mechanic Stuff y que era lo mismo que los posters mugrosos que tenían los mecánicos en sus talleres.
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La vida sin ti no es como yo quisiera
Puede que el camino nos separe
Ahora mismo no sé ni dónde estar
¿Pa' qué fingir? ¿Pa' qué pensar que estaré bien sin verte?
Dime que todo e' mentira y cuando me despierte no es la realidad
Dime a ver lo que hacer para verte
Sólo tú me entiendes flaco
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19/04/24
I woke up at 3:58am because I dreamed about you.
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Remembering that time you came to my house and we were laying in bed. We had a great time, ate, napped, cuddled, I said I love you, you said you loved me. I went to the restroom and found you in my desk, playing with the things I had there, the book, the spinner, the mouse and stuff. Later that day, you confessed you grabbed the secondary phone I used for work.
I only use that phone for the two step verification I need for the VPN, but you were all over the place thinking I used that phone to hide things from you. That I had another FB account, and insta and everything, why were you always in doubt of what I felt for you.
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Why can't I forget you? :(
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6pm
Man, I was lookin for something in our conversation, because I remembered the kind of tests you would do to test my loyalty and shit at the beginning of the conversation. You had me crying and crying amd crying because I couldn't change your mind and make you trust me.
Man, you're fucked in the head. I re read some of the arguments we had, and goddamn girl. You were so entitled and closed. You're the definition of emotionally unavailable.
I understand now how I became so attached and why is so hard for me now to let you go. You were giving me hopes but were never really open to me.
I know it takes work but you really took me to my limit.
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18/04/24
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.
Te manifiesto todos los días. Hoy le pedí al destino y al universo que unieran nuestros caminos una vez más, cuando esté listo para recibirte. Cuando estés lista para recibirme. Te extraño un montón.
Y no extraño la costumbre, realmente eres increíble. Te extraño a tí.
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:(
I'm trying to let you go but I don't know how to. I'm focusing on me and doing things for me but everything reminds me of you. I want you in my life.
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18/04/24
No sé qué me hiciste, no puedo olvidarte. No puedo olvidarme de tu mirada.
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17/04/24
You were so "you didn't respect my boundaries this, and that" but I did remove my boundaries trying to comfort and reassure yours.
I let you go through all my privacy, I let you go through my phone, I told you everything you asked about. How entitled do you have to be.
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Collage de fotos importantes de hoy 17/04/24
De verdad traté de ser siempre lo más transparente, y sincero, pero nunca fue suficiente y lo único que hice fue causarte más inseguridad. Ojalá hubieras confiado en mí, siempre hice las cosas bien.
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17/04/24
No he parado de llorar. Todo está ocurriendo al mismo tiempo, todo junto.
Hoy tuve que despedirme de mi amigo. I hate goodbyes. We tried friend, I'm sorry. I'm just glad I was able to be with you, and hug you, hold you in my arms one last time.
Tysm for all the lessons, for teaching me not to force anything. I know my Lula didn't allow you much to be with me but I appreciate that you trusted me enough to come to my room and rest, or hide when the vacuum was on or when the other dogs came in.
Man, thank you so much, I remember the day I brought you home, you were so little. When you used to sleep with me. When you jumped to my bed at night just to say hi. What happened? Trust that we tried, thank you for holding, and sorry. I'm going to miss you. I love you.
Why shit happens? What is happening?
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16/04/24
My love was enough. My grief is deep, so I loved fully.
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Maybe next time, baby.
I hope I can see you like this just one more time and see how you look at me with eyes of love.
I'm grieving. I'm missing you. All of my blog is for you.
Maybe next time, baby. I'm sorry.
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