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wellexecuted · 23 days

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Experiencing some anxiety in the closing months of my early twenties. It feels like every coping mechanism that I have is becoming more and more futile to the point where I am just anxious all the time.

Woke up in my boyfriend’s house at 12pm after setting a 6am alarm and he was gone and I couldn’t find anyone and the house was empty and I had to leave without deadbolting the door.

I ended up stranded in South Norwood because I went to his work to tell him, and it turned out it was fine. I went to a dinner last night and was mostly just listening because I was too overwrought to speak. I worked so hard last year to overcome my anxiety and today and yesterday just felt like regression. Spoke to my mum and then my best friend and I cried and cried.

I wrote something a little over a year ago about how I am forging myself and my progress wasn’t always going to be spectacularly linear but lately I feel exhausted and jittery with nerves all the time. I am done sitting with myself and want to feel restored again.

#early twenties #anxi4ty #anxitey #worried #social anxiety #going backwards #artwork #fineliner #gouache #prose

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wellexecuted · 29 days

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Excerpts from a diary entry I wrote about womanhood last year, with some pics I thought fitting: most of my friends, the last is a self portrait I drew a while ago

#womanhood #friendship #female friendship #edited photos #photography #prose poem #prose #writing #journaling #diary entry #friends #sisterhood #feminism #books #influences #aesthetics

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wellexecuted · 29 days

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#bookblr #reading #books and reading #books and libraries

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wellexecuted · 2 months

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A fun weekend

#studyblr #studying #university #college #new studyblr #london #writing #studyspo #academia #productivity #cozy aesthetic #dark academia #aesthetic #photography

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wellexecuted · 3 months

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Pics from the last 2 weeks

#day in the life #lifestyle #work #home & lifestyle #studying #academia #dark academia #cozy aesthetic #winter #landscape #photography #camera roll

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wellexecuted · 4 months

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So last year was the most seismic year of my life. I consider my ‘long 2023’ to have started in August 2022, during my first break up.

I had never experienced heartbreak like that. I threw myself into the gym and my new teaching job (and first full time position after uni). I discovered online dating for the first time, to my peril. I became extremely thin, and totally revelled in my sadness. I thought myself so profound, and this was compounded by numerous and terrible situationships. I went through what was probably my second genuine heartbreak.

Come about March- time, I started to ‘fix up’ emotionally. I met some of my best friends, and was partying every weekend (… and some weeknights). It was the busiest few months of my life. I then met my now- partner, who introduced me to another lovely circle of people.

March to December have been the happiest, silliest and busiest months of my life. I made some incredible memories with my friends and deepened my relationship with my partner. However, I’ve gotten pretty physically unhealthy, and… blew through what were already pretty meagre savings.

I regret nothing. The expense, ultimately, was worth it. As I progress through my twenties I’ve come to think of my life in terms of periods and seasons, as opposed to linear and unfaltering progress. I still worked hard this year, professionally. I had an article published in a blog, and successfully applied for my September apprenticeship. But this aspect of my life- my self- development and self- care- must come first now.

This year, I must calm down. This is certainly not punishment for my happiness. I have had a blast and I would not change a second of it. I just am acknowledging that I need to re- route (and re-root) myself.

I’m starting a new position tomorrow, as a cover teacher at a school closer to my home. Then, in September, I begin my official teacher training year. In the interim, my focus is on my health, my mind, and my existing relationships.

At my core, I thrive in my aloneness- I love to write and read, draw and paint. These things fell by the wayside in what I’ve been calling my ‘recovery’. I’m on day 7 of not smoking (a silly habit I picked up to make friends and ended up sticking), and I’m back in the gym. I’ve cleaned my room for the first time in months, and I’ve been hitting 8 hours of sleep most nights.

My socialising now consists of wine- free restaurant meals and chats over coffee. I have a few glasses of wine once a week, and have made my friends swear to only invite me ‘out- out’ once a month from this point onward. My partner and I take it in turns to dream up ‘weekend dates’, and spend our time traipsing museums and looking up life drawing classes.

I want this blog to reflect these things in the coming weeks and months. I am studying in my spare time in preparation for my training year, reading copiously, learning freely. As an aside, I’m, like, actually drinking water and eating vegetables again too. I’m going to try to stay consistent with an 100 days of productivity challenge. Please do join me! I love and miss my posting on this blog.

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wellexecuted · 4 months

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My 2023 in pictures, part one. January- April

#studyblr #university #studying #college #new studyblr #studyspo #productivity #school #study space #motivation #teaching #experience #working #full time jobs #art history #artwork #hobbies #new experiences #photography

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wellexecuted · 7 months

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Unqualified teacher diaries: one on one art tuition with an SEN student, getting back into the gym, walks through the park on my way home, spontaneous trips to Daunt books with my pals, getting back into my own drawing

(not pictured: a wild night out in Angel that has taken my weak old ass a week to recover from)

#studyblr #university #studying #college #new studyblr #studyspo #study space #motivation #school #politics #teaching #gym #productivity

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wellexecuted · 1 year

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Cambridge in orange

#edited photos #studyblr #university of cambridge #studying #college #university #history

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wellexecuted · 1 year

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One of the merits of teaching: two week long breaks. It’s been very chilled- nights in pub gardens, tutoring, spending days with my friend in Cambridge, getting back into the gym and, most importantly, not getting out of bed till at least 11am most mornings 😁

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wellexecuted · 1 year

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Flip through of my favourite uni notebook, from my medieval civs module

#studyblr #university #studying #college #new studyblr #handwriting #degree #city student #london #writing #studyspo #academia #history #study tips #reading #city #student #ink #books and libraries

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wellexecuted · 1 year

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Update: I’m now a secondary school history teacher for a few months! I’m so stoked. So much academia again, but such a different vibe. Pics of hastily scribbled notes and lesson plans to follow. Officially in my Miss era

#studyblr #university #studying #college #new studyblr #handwriting #degree #studyspo #academia #history #teaching

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wellexecuted · 1 year

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Photo dump from this winter! I went to my favorite bookstore, got a few new prints for the desk, and took a train to see some family for an early Christmas. The last few months have been insane, but I'm happy it's over!!

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wellexecuted · 1 year

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