wheninitalyy

[wheninitalyy]

hello. it’s funny to be back here again.

[wheninitalyy]

France is no escape - part 3.

A/N - hello?? Yes! I’m alive and well, I hope everyone has had a wonderful holiday season and I am embarrassed that this part has taken me so long to get written and posted but here it is! 

With how long this took me + my drop is writing inspiration, I cannot say there will be a part 4 soon or at all (never say never though). Either way I'm not going anywhere and I will find more things to write, I'm open to request ideas but I can’t promise I can do them. I know this never got very romantic nor did you get to read more than learning about the reader and the inner-conflicts of they’re relationship with Benny, but I hope you enjoyed it either way.

Thank you & I hope you enjoy part three :]

Pairing : Benny Watts x Reader

Word count : 3041 (omg over 3k)

Warnings : mentions of alcohol & swearing

Other Parts : Part One, Part Two

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It’s surreal thinking my life choices are affecting others.

It’s surreal to think that leaving is more than a new start, it’s also taking something away from the people around me.

I do believe that I disappointed more than Benny by leaving, maybe Harry and Matt. Maybe I stepped into Cleo’s life for the better but stepped out of so many others for the worse.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and any forming tears, this wasn’t the day to pity myself and cry at sunrise. I didn’t want that for myself nor did I want to confirm my thoughts of being completely and utterly at my guilt���s mercy.

The sun glared through the sheers to tickle my skin and bother my eyes open.

At home I didn’t even have curtains, I was in love with the look sheers gave my home. I was in love with the moments where I can see the window made of sun on the floor and bed, in love with feeling the warmth of the sky.

I hope that Benny is out of that basement by now and up in the sun, up where he can have moments like mine. 

I think of him all the time, I think of him when I’m happy because he is the one who taught me all the different shades of happiness.

I sound so sappy when I talk about Benny but that’s what I used to be all the time, sappy.

Benny wasn’t one to share feelings and talk about emotions like I was, and I never changed that, but I never wanted to.

He was my favorite person to talk to, my favorite brain to pick at.

My constant nagging about what was on his mind surely irritated him but I’m glad he talked to me about it all, all the inner conflicts and all the pretty thoughts.

I groaned into my pillow. I’m hungover on those beers… and some feelings. 

I dragged my sleepy mind and body out of bed, it was going to take some time to feel myself again after steering away from alcohol for months. Now irritated by that woozy feeling in the back of my thoughts, ugh, I didn’t miss that one bit.

The city was just waking up with me, the nighttime had just fallen asleep here in Paris while the day started bright and loud.

I pulled myself to the window to look down on the city.

People walked the streets, either off to work or possibly coming to watch handsome chess players compete just to be the biggest and the best. 

 There was lack of smell in my room and cologne on my clothes—from the boys I hung around last night—that made my morning feel so different than the others.

The tournament started at noon, I needed to get to work.

I needed to call the writers and get down there to take shots of the players, get photos while I still can. 

I looked down at myself, dressed in the same clothes as last night minus a layer or two.

I took a deep breath.

I thought about last night, I thought about wanting to walk down on those streets while it was light. This would be the perfect hour for a refreshing morning walk in Paris. 

There was so much stopping me from enjoying this morning, my work, the distant feeling of pain behind my eyes, and my messy mind.

Fuck this.

I’ll be quick, just an hour or so but I’ll have to get ready now if I’m going to go before work drags me in the opposite direction.

  After my short shower, I called the author for the magazine I was working for.

  “Darling, I was there all day but you were clearly too busy to notice me,” he laughed,

I furrowed my brows, “What ever do you mean?”

“I mean, you were spending the night playing chess with a US Chess Champion,” 

“No,” I cleared my throat, “Yes I was, but he’s an old friend,” I insisted knowing the tone in his voice meant he believed differently.

“Sure,” he paused, I heard papers flipping on the other side of the line. “I have an interview set up with Watts at six and Hilton at eight this evening, I’ll have it written up by Monday. If you can get the photos to me before then, I can take care of the rest,” he told me.

“I can do that, but…” I paused,

“Something wrong?”

I rubbed my temple with my hand and sighed, “No, it’s nothing. I’ll call you when I get the photos,” I told him.

“Well if you’re sure… I’ll see you soon,” he said his goodbyes.

I hung up the call, dropping the phone back into its resting place.

  I ran into the bathroom to change out of the towel that was wrapped around me.

I pulled a dark-green turtleneck over my head, adjusting the neck so the bends and bunched fabric looked just right.

I was in a rush, I put the rest of my clothes on along with jewelry like my rings, watch, and a necklace. 

“Shit,” I whispered as I saw the time on my watch, “I need to hurry,” I took one last look in the mirror. I straightened the belt I wore on my waist and left the bathroom.

I quickly slipped on my shoes, grabbing my bag and camera and stepped out the door. I closed the door tightly behind me and started walking down the hallway, I mumbled something not even I could translate as I watched my feet walk under me, the patterned carpet rushing past my eyes.

   Random chatter of reporters and famous chess players filled my ears as soon as the elevator doors opened.

This was my environment.

I pulled my bag over my shoulder and secured it as I walked out of the elevator. 

My hair fell in my eyes while my gaze darted around the dark green and red colored lobby I stood in, the chandeliers sparkled, and the sun shined through the tall arched windows.

I looked around for anyone I knew before I started to walk to the exit, almost creeping away from the crowds trying to focus so my morning plans weren’t postponed.

I relaxed as I got close to the exit.

“Going somewhere?” I ran straight into someone I planned on avoiding this morning,

I pulled myself away quickly to see Benny stood in front of me, in his usual attire and a magazine held in one hand.

It seemed as he just entered the building, is he staying somewhere else? 

“Oh... Benny,” I mumbled as I dusted myself off, feeling a bit self-conscious suddenly.

“Don’t act so excited,” he scoffed and threw the magazine on a table next to the door. 

The date on the magazine was todays, big words read Chess Tournament this Afternoon! The BEST meant to compete this year in Paris!

I felt my breathing speed up, my body stiffened and there was no where to hide from the pressure that was on me today.

Benny rolled his eyes at my flustered expression and smiled; he ruffled my hair like Matt would do. I pulled away from his hand and fixed my hair.

“So?” he asked,

“So...?”

“Where you off to? It’s a big day, you’re not running away already, are you?” he joked, I shook my head and sighed. 

“I wanted to... get some fresh air before I got to work,” I whispered and rubbed the sides of my legs nervously as I looked to the door behind the tall man,

“Hm... mind if I join you?” he asked, my eyes shot to him.

My thoughts immediately went to this being a perfect opportunity to get some photos of him.

And although I planned to stay far away from distractions today, I couldn’t deny that I wouldn’t mind his company this morning...

“Actually- if you wouldn’t be opposed, maybe I could get some shots of you somewhere in town? For the magazine I mean,” I suggested as I gave him a smile, a wonky nervous smile.

He went to say something and stopped abruptly, his eyes widened, he looked worried.

Benny grabbed my hand suddenly, before I could even comprehend what was happening, he pulled me out the door and around the corner.

He pulled me away from the doors.

I watched a few people look in our direction with judgmental gazes,

“Are you out of your mind?” I looked at Benny who stood beside me, my hand still loosely in his.

He huffed out a laugh and looked out at the streets.

I pulled myself off the wall I unconsciously leaned on and shook his hand off, I put my hands over my mouth and nose letting out a nervous exhale.

“Why did you do that?” I scanned the area for any eyes on us, the last thing I would want was to be seen with US Chess Champion Benny Watts sneaking around the hotel.

“I’m… avoiding a certain nosey reporter,” he looked at me, “Oh, god. Would you not be so dramatic Y/N?” I let my hands drop to my sides.

“Do you know how much- you are so-” I cut my pointless argument off, “Let’s just get going,” I pulled my bag strap over my head so it wouldn’t slip and started walking down the path that led out of the hotel’s property.

  After a while of listening to Benny enthuse about some past Chess tournaments he played in and how he was so very confident about this one, we arrived at restaurant that was just getting ready to open up.

I ignored Benny as I walked up to an employee who was sweeping around the restaurant’s outdoor seating.

“Excuse me?” I caught the employee’s attention,

“What are you doing,” Benny whispered, I ignored Benny again.

“Do you think I could use our outdoor seating for a quick photoshoot?” the woman gave me an odd look and glanced to the restaurant’s building furrowing her eyebrows.

“You see, this is Benny Watts. I’m sure you’ve heard of him,” I waited for a change in expression, she grabbed her broom and smiled.

“This place is about ready,” she paused and looked at her watch, “You have about forty-five minutes until we open up, try to be done by then?” I smiled and nodded.

  I grazed one of the metal tables with my fingertips as I looked around for a good background.

I didn’t choose this place randomly; it was very nicely decorated and there was lots of green, perfect for a casual shoot. Deep-red painted wooden fencing—that purple and green vines had grown around—outlined their small wooden decking extension.

The weather was beautiful, the bright blue sky peeked through scattered white clouds that covered most of the sky.

The birds danced in the sky; everyone was out, kids, parents, groups of high-schoolers, and older men who sat playing chess on this exciting day.

“We are taking photos here?” I looked over my shoulder and smiled at the cocky and somewhat sassy man. Benny sat down on a metal chair and looked around; he wasn’t amused by our location, but I thought it was perfect.

“Yes, now sit down here,” I pointed to a chair that I had pulled up by the restaurant’s windows.

  After I bossed Benny around and had him test different poses, I pulled out my camera.

“So, are you still in that small basement?” I smiled as I fixed the lighting on the camera and took a couple test shots.

“No, I got out of there a while ago,” I motioned for him to lean back, “Finally living somewhere that gets sun,” his words made me think of my morning thoughts.

“I’m glad,” the camera clicked, I crouched down by Benny’s chunky black boots.

“Do you miss New York at all?” the camera clicked again.

I sighed and pulled the camera away from my face, “Of course,” I stood up. “I miss hearing people outside no matter the hour, I miss watching people rush everywhere they went. Hell, I even miss arguing with strangers over such normal things,” I gently pulled Benny’s hand off the table to move the table out of the frame.

Benny’s fingers curled around my hand, “Come back, come visit me,” I looked at him. I bit the edge of my bottom lip and glanced away from Benny; I can’t look at that sad expression of his.

“Benny,” I looked down avoiding eye-contact still,

“Or let me visit you… I meant it when I said I missed you Y/N,” he sounded so genuine and sad, so unlike the Benny I knew.

I looked up at him, he squeezed my hand then let go.

I pulled away from him and moved the table slightly, “Will- will you come over here?” I stuttered from my sudden strike of anxiety.

He got up and followed me to the vine covered fence and I had him lean against it.

The camera clicked; I lowered the camera slowly as I stared at him, he was handsome.

I changed my angle a couple times and no matter the angle, he looked just as perfect.

“I should probably get some with a chess board,” I mumbled looking above the fencing for any possible chess tables or stores that sold a board.

I sighed, “Do you think we can get some shots at the hotel after the tournament?” I asked him.

“Okay,” he pushed himself away from the fence, “Are we done then?”

“Yeah… for now,” I grabbed my bag that I had sat down near the gate out, “Shall we?” I put my camera in the bag and looked over my shoulder, hoping he would like to stick around for a bit longer this morning.

He turned on his heel to look at me and stared for a moment…

This wasn’t going to work if I wasn’t going to try, this would end here and now if I didn’t show him that I wanted to be part of his life as well.

He smiled and I felt some weight lifted off my chest, there’s my Benny.

   “Y/N!” I looked over my shoulder to be met with the bright smile of the familiar woman who worked at the front desk, I smiled and headed over to her.

I had just got back to the hotel after my little photoshoot and wander around with Benny, Benny had left me immediately as we got back so he didn’t run late for the many small interviews that he had agreed to.

“Hi,” I sighed crossing my arms on the front desk, I had just got back from speaking to the magazine author.

“Long day already?” she gave me a sympathetic smile,

“Not really… just a lot on my mind,”

“Like Benny Watts?” I glanced back to her, “I saw you leave this morning with him,” she explained.

Yes, of course Benny Watts was on my mind. After he asked me to either come visit him or him visit me, all I could think about was how I was going to deal with the spiraling emotions of guilt if I didn’t tell him I wanted to spend more time with him too.

I went to lie to the nosey woman with a smile, but the smile seemed to slip off my face as I glanced at Benny, who was speaking to some men near the ballroom.

“Speak of the devil…”

I cannot stress how long it felt like when I stood there and stared at the man, I had too many doubts and too many pros and cons list in my mind.

Although the list did nothing to fight against my gut feeling.

I had to.

I wasn’t going to have Benny remember me as the fool who managed to sneak into his life for a brief moment just to disappoint.

In some alternate universe, this is a mistake and I will be cursing the gods for letting me do this. But, in this one, it’s the only rewarding choice.

I sighed heavily and swiftly started walking over to the sparkling ballroom, that would usually contain a shiny dancefloor but is now filled with chess tables and the echoing sound of judgmental pacing.

“Benny,” I caught his attention rather quickly,

“Oh, hey Y/N,” he greeted me in his monotone ‘serious’ voice.

“One week,” I glared at the men who were just talking to Benny which had them shift their gaze away from us, “You stay with me for one week… but you leave as soon as that seventh day comes around, understand?” I looked back to Benny.

Benny’s eyes widened, he put a hand gently around my forearm. I looked down to realize how close I had gotten to him, I meant to just appear serious and not catch anyone’s eye but why do I feel as I did the quite opposite…

“Wait,” his voice softened,

“Mr. Watts, it’s time.” Benny’s eyes darted to the man who spoke.

It was time for the tournament, our morning lasted a bit longer than I had thought.

“No, I-” he stopped his sentence to let out what I could only explain as a low growl, in my direction, of course. “Your timing is fantastic, you know?” he rubbed his temple with his hand that was previously on my arm,

“Now, go. Good luck Mr. Watts, I know you’ll do just fine,” I earned a smile from him, I straightened the collar on his coat quickly and smiled back.

And off he went, he wasn’t one to be late for a tournament, his conscience wouldn’t let him.

I felt my confidence drop and I felt heavy enough to drop straight through the marble floor after Benny disappeared into the ballroom.

Along with the heavy feeling came rushing waves of happiness and euphoria. I was proud, and I was thankful to myself that I am bringing him back into my life, even if its just for a week.

I have to start trying again. I have to give myself a chance to appreciate these connections that I was isolating myself from… just one more chance.

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tags : @heartofeden @gothicwidowsworld @gold-star-for-me @peterspideyy @directioner-tributes @epistrofh-twn-ypogeiwn-poihtwn @is-it-really-a-secret

Thank you for reading, you’re so cool !

#benny watts #benny watts imagines #the queens gambit #the queens gambit imagines #benny watts x reader #Thomas Brodie-Sangster #thomas brodie-sangster imagines

[wheninitalyy]

sorry D:

hii i’m sorry i’ve been busy, i have a good start on my next writing post but i am drowning in work outside of writing so i will eventually get this done but... sadly not now. thank you for all the new follows and notes and whatever, you’re all super lovely !

[wheninitalyy]

Jealous Benny Watts imagine

A/N - hiii ! I have been having a writer’s block with ,,France is no escape” so here’s a simple imagine. I got a (anonymous) request for a jealous Benny Watts story so I said, screw it even if I wasn't going to do requests, because this actually was refreshing to write. I’m not very satisfied with how this turned out because I felt like I couldn't get enough detail in- but I didn't want it to be too long.

A bit of context : the reader has known Benny for around a year and they have been rather close friends, there has never been any romance in their relationship. You can view this as either platonic or romantic.

(also this is gender neutral again because they didn't specify if they wanted the reader with any specific gender or pronouns)

Pairing : Benny Watts x reader

Word count : 2260

Warnings : swearing, that’s basically it :]

-   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -

I pulled my shirt over my head as I sat down in front of my vanity.

I’ve had a miserable morning. 

My morning started off with the ringing sound of my smoke detector—which was wrongfully going off—so I had to stumble out of bed to run and turn it off. 

After a bit of fidgeting and bothering the stupid ringing machine on my wall, I decided to try and cheer my morning up with some breakfast.

I hit my hip harshly against the corner of the counter while I was making myself eggs and then burnt my eggs on the stove. 

No wonder I don’t wake up early.

The frown stuck on my face no matter what I looked at.

I pulled myself out of my chair, hissing from the pain that has seemed to spread farther than just my hip. 

I walked over to the window and peeked through the curtains; it was barely light outside. 

The scent of damp concrete from the New York rain was paired with the wet autumn leaves that scattered my little corner of this large city.

I was rudely awakened before sunrise with no reasoning to be up.

I am recently unemployed and can’t seem to find a job that uses my skills, I had the money to keep up my rent and bills for a couple months but after that I may as well be asking my parents for money... again. 

I jumped at the sound of the phone, “Jesus Christ,” I mumbled as I put a hand on my chest stopping my ghost from jumping out of my body.

I grabbed the phone that sat on my withering nightstand, I cleared my throat and spoke.

“Hello?” I answered,

“You’re up early,” the man laughed,

“Yes, yes I am. What do you need Benny?” I asked him, I wasn’t exactly the friendliest this morning, but this was not new treatment for Benny.

“Fancy a morning walk?” 

“Now?” I looked at the vanity mirror behind me, an irritated half-dressed zombie looked back at me. 

“It is morning, isn’t it? Anyway, be ready in ten- I’m on my way out,” he hung up abruptly.

I pulled the phone away from my ear, “Fuckin’ Benny,” I growled dropping the phone back onto the stand. 

A knocking came from the front door as I fumbled shoving my last-minute toast in my mouth and grabbing my coat. 

I rushed to the door and unlocked it; Benny stood on the other side playing with his house keys.

The tall man in front of me looked up and smiled, Benny dressed himself in his multiple shades and fabrics of dark clothing. His leather hat sat on his dirty-blonde waves of hair; his trench coat ended at his knees.

“Woah... you look terrible,” he joked and slipped his keys into his pocket,

I mumbled an inaudible insult through the toast I was holding in my mouth, he sighed and pulled me outside. 

Benny, slim yet strong, barely let me lock the door behind me before he tugged me down the stairs outside of my small apartment. 

“You’re so pushy,” I told him and let out my first laugh of today.

He held my hand as he guided me down the stairs and down the sidewalk. 

Benny always held my hand when we were together- when we were with friends, when we walked together, when he introduced me to chess reporters and interviewers.

His hands were always cold, always boney, and the metal of his rings always rubbed rather uncomfortably against my fingers, but I didn’t mind it so much anymore.

“So- you know how I was going to do that interview with Chess Review?” he asked me, glancing over. I let out a quiet ‘mhm’ and sped up my pace to keep up with his large steps, my hip was in pain, but I kept quiet and just tried to keep up. 

“Well, we are going to the interview right now,” my eyes widened,

“We are what?” 

  It didn’t matter how much I protested Benny having me tag along to his interviews, because here I sat in a diner at 6:45 AM with Benny and an author for one of the most read Chess magazines.

  I pulled my mind away from their conversation after a while of hearing the same average interviewing questions-

How are you feeling about this up-and-coming tournament?

Is there anyone you are nervous about playing?

Any new love interests in your life?

I watched the traffic out the diner’s window, the people walking past, the leaves and city trash carried by the weak wind.

“I think that’s all I’ll need for today… oh sorry, who’s this?” the reporter asked Benny.

I glanced over to Benny and then to the reporter.

“Uh, yeah- this is Y/N,” Benny introduced me, I felt weak, so I simply smiled.

“Not very talkative, huh?” the reporter joked, I looked the man dead in the eyes almost amused by his behavior.

“You want to talk? How about you ask better questions while you have a US Chess Champion in front of you?” I straightened out, “Like what’s your thoughts on what high school chess players are being taught? And do you plan to play in France next year against Borgov?” I turned to the man—who was dressed in a dull colored suit—and smiled, a bit proud of myself.

Benny held back a laugh as the reporter sat speechless for a moment… he reporter smiled and then burst into a laughter that caught the whole diner’s attention.

Unlike most interviews, we planned to meet for dinner with the reporter—who’s name I learned was Henry—due to what I said.

Benny agreed only because he got to choose the place and he seemed to be interested by the reporter and his ability to feel less like an obsessed interviewer and more of a ‘friend’ which I believe he took back those words later in the night.

  “You ready?” Benny asked me, I had spent the rest of the morning and afternoon with him in his apartment.

I straightened my dress-shirt and sighed, I turned around and checked my back in the mirror for any imperfections in my outfit.

After we left the diner, Benny had me grab a new pair of clothes for the dinner on our way to his apartment. And thank goodness I grabbed new clothes since my jeans had been rubbing against my hip just a bit too roughly.

Benny opened the door to his room, where he offered me to get dressed in instead of his small bathroom.

“You look nice,” he complimented me, I whipped my head in his direction and smiled.

“You too, is that a new hat?” I teased him. He never changes, and I’ve never even seen him dress to impress once.

He snorted and walked up beside me, “This might be weird,” I paused and turned to face him. “Do you think I could get an editor position at Chess Review if I… charmed Henry?” I asked him.

He stared at me, he never seemed to be afraid of eye-contact.

“Charmed?” he questioned,

“Not like that- I mean,” I sighed as he smiled, “You’re the worst,” I straightened his coat as he stood in front of me.

“Let’s get going before Henry writes me out to be known to ditch dinners,” Benny joked and pulled me to the door.

  Henry greeted us both with a hug when we arrived at the restaurant.

Benny picked a downtown restaurant, not too well-known, not too sketchy.

The place was lit up in strings of lights of all colors giving the place almost a festive feel, the place was Italian as far as I could tell.

60s pop music played quietly behind the laughter and chatter of the guests, everyone wore their coats indoors because of the random breezes that came from the open windows and doors.

  I pushed a couple strands of hair behind my ear as I listened to Henry enthuse about some writing class he went to; he was quite the writer as well as a decent reporter.

“So, what does it take to get an editing job there?” I asked Henry,

“Oh? Looking, are we?” he laughed quietly, “You might be in luck, one of our editors is moving to our branch in California. Need a reference from a trusted, handsome, reporter?” he smiled and leaned back in his chair.

“I might,” I took a sip of my drink,

“Let’s say I get you an interview- could I ask you to dinner some time?” he flirted, I almost choked on my drink.

I whipped my mouth with my napkin and smiled nervously, I looked at Benny who rested his head on his hand. Benny was staring at me, his eyes told me to decline but if I declined, I wouldn’t be sure I would get this interview.

“Ask me when you get that interview,” I told Henry looking away from Benny’s judging gaze.

He chuckled, “That’s fair, you have your priorities,” he didn’t seem to take it as a no, but he didn’t flirt again.

  I thought the night ended nicely, Henry said he would work on getting me an interview with Chess Review and he asked Benny a lot of more relevant questions that he should’ve asked this morning.

Benny took his chance to offer to walk me home before Henry could, Benny seemed tense and a bit upset after Henry flirted with me, but I wasn’t going to turn down a job to make him happy.

  I shoved my hands in the pockets of my coat as I walked home, I glanced beside me at Benny who refused to let me walk home by myself at this hour even if it was a couple blocks away by now.

“Really, you can go home. I’m fine,” I told Benny, he scoffed and stopped.

“You shoulda’ turned him down, told him you weren’t interested,” Benny told me bluntly,

“Are you seriously upset about this?” I turned to him,

“Yes, yes I’m fuckin’ upset that a man tried to make a move on you while we were all at dinner,” he spat, he pulled his hat off and ran a hand through is hair.

“Benny! I turned him down!” I walked over to the stairs up to someone’s apartment, I went to sit down on the stairs and hissed in pain.

Benny’s eyes darted to me, “What’s wrong with you?” he asked.

“It’s nothing! I just hit my hip against the counter this morning, it’s just bruised,” I said, stress tangled in my voice.

Benny sighed and crouched down by me, he lifted my coat and pulled my shirt out from tucked in my pants. I held my coat and shirt out of his way, and he moved my pants to look at my hip,

“What were you doin’? Dancing around and shit?” he almost laughed as he ran his thumb over my bruise,

“Could you not do that?” I held back a squeal from the feeling of his cold fingers against my hip.

He exhaled heavily due to the cold weather and helped me pull my clothes back down, he pulled me up off the stairs.

“C’mon,” his fingers found their way in between mine—which he hadn’t done on our walk back previously—as he walked me back home.

  Once we got to my door, Benny grabbed my keys from me and unlocked my door. He walked in, pulling me in after him.

Benny made himself at home as per usual as he took off his hat and coat on his way to my small kitchen.

I sat down on a stool in my kitchen as I watched him open my freezer and grab my ice-tray, he wrapped some ice in a cloth and put the tray back.

“Really?” I groaned as he handed me the cloth with ice, he nodded and gave me a look that said I didn’t want to test him.

“Fine,” I sighed.

I unzipped my coat and threw it on the counter behind me, I pulled my shirt up on the side just a bit and made my bruise visible. I hadn’t really looked at the bruise since I got it, it was all kinds of shades of purple and blue and it even looked like it hurt.

Benny suddenly pressed the cold rag against the side of my hip, “Ah!” I yelped.

Benny snickered and held the cloth against my hip as he leaned his side against the counter and faced me.

Silence filled my apartment quickly and all you could hear was distant cars and wind from outside.

“Thank you,” I filled the silence, Benny looked away from the window to me.

“You wouldn’t go to dinner with some self-absorbed asshole reporter, right?” he asked for reassurance of some kind,

“Not Henry… maybe one who wore a hat,” I paused, Benny raised an eyebrow. “He of course has to be blonde, and a trench coat would be a nice addition,” it took only seconds to see Benny realize what I was doing.

Benny pressed the ice against my hip harshly, “Ah! Okay! I’m sorry!” I laughed.

  In all the time I’ve known Benny, this was one of the first times he had actually been openly jealous. Of course, it’s not every day I get asked for dinner while he is around, but it was strange. It was strange because it felt nice, I liked thinking he didn’t want me dating others, maybe it proved my suspicions.

#benny watts #benny watts x reader #benny watts imagines #The Queens Gambit #the queens gambit imagines

[wheninitalyy]

[x]

[wheninitalyy]

ahhh! part four!! i love reading this so very much <3

Benny Watts/The Queens Gambit imagines - From Pawn to Pen Part 4

AN: I’m sorry I missed posting last week. I’m currently going through a hard break up and it’s really taking a lot of energy out of me so I struggle to write at the moment. 

Overall Summary: You’re a young journalist for Chess Review, with a love for chess and a desire for knowledge. One day at a tournament, you come across the famous Benny Watts…

In this chapter: You return to Boston for the week. 

(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3)

Pairing(s): Benny Watts x Fem!reader

Word Count: 1,940

Warnings: Some strong language

You smiled as you looked at the copies of ‘Chess Review’ on the racks. 

Your first front page piece for Chess Review. 

They had used one of the pictures of Benny that you had taken at the hotel and you were pretty proud of your photography skills. 

You picked up a copy and took it inside to pay for it. 

On second thought, you picked up two so you could mail one to Angelie. 

Keep reading

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i’m sorry i haven’t posted part 3 ahhhdbisns i’ll get on it soon after the holidays, promise <3

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pictures of benny for you while i continue to work on part 3 of France is no escape :] <3

#benny watts #the queens gambit

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The Queen’s Gambit (2020) dirm Scott Frank

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If someone isn't available during your most crucial time, then their presence any other time is useless.

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humans are obsessed with escapism - through movies, books, music, art, daydreams. our souls really weren’t made for this world.

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okay so- it’s really crazy and surreal the amount of support i’m getting for my writing (the Benny Watts story). considering it’s the first fanfic i’ve ever done, and first time i’ve shared any writing online, i’m like a smiling idiot over the support. so ahhh thank you !

i’ll try to stay as motivated as i can because sometimes i suddenly stop writing for weeks and i don’t really want to do that. i’ll work on stuff that has to do with The Queen’s Gambit if i do write more because i’m not sure how well OC stories would go on here pfff

you can see how i don’t use proper capitalization out of writing wow

ALSO!! if any of you want to be on a tag list whenever i update next on “France is no escape”, tell me!! i’m glad to add you :]

#the queens gambit #benny watts #writing #AHH YOU GUYS ARE SO NICE #simping for beth and benny rn #simping for harry as well

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France is no escape - part 2.

A/N - Here’s part two!! Wooo! 

I’m working mainly on working for readers to feel close with their character and their thoughts, I’m more comfortable writing about conflicts and getting to know characters on personal levels. Sorry if this is a bit rushed toward the end, I had been thinking about writing part two to this ever since I wrote part one, but- uh yeah thank you for reading! 

Click here for Part One :]

Pairing : Benny Watts x Reader

Word count : 2749

Warnings : drinking, smoking, (some fluff this time though :] )

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I threw the blanket that covered me to the side, “And I said- Well, buy me a drink first!” the show’s laugh track played.

“Stupid,” I mumbled as I switched the television off, I peeled my eyes off the television for the first time in a couple hours. I thought being a photographer would make me busy, but it seems impossible to get any good shots when everyone important is hiding away in their rooms.

I left my room earlier to look around, I took a few shots of the hotel and some of the chess tables for inside of the magazine but there wasn’t enough to keep me out and about for longer than an hour.

I needed a drink, something to help me relax or take my mind off the pressure of having absolutely nothing for the magazine. I haven’t even met up with my co-worker who was writing an article for this event, I called the magazine author before I came here but weirdly I haven’t seen them all day.

 I threw myself off the couch not wasting anymore time, dusted myself off, making sure I looked somewhat presentable in case I ran into anyone.

I centered my watch on my wrist as I read the time, 5:47 pm. 

I had a couple hours to get a drink before the bar filled up with men throwing their money out the window when they lose a 5th game of speed-chess. 

  I tripped over air as I closed my door behind me, pulling the heel of my shoe on. 

I turned a corner and got into an elevator just as a couple exited it, they looked like any other couple whose trip was likely crashed by a bunch of chess players this weekend. 

  I let out a little ‘whew’ sound as I spotted the bar, get in and get out, no small talk tonight or so I thought.

  “One cocktail please,” I told the bartender behind the bar, he nodded and started making my drink immediately.

I pulled off my coat, laying it down on my lap.

It was a nice bar, nothing like the ones back at home I used to go to.

Strings of lights under the tables, lighting up the ground. About four silk covered chairs sat at every table in the restaurant. A few couples or families having dinner and, in the corners, sat some men and their chessboards. 

I missed playing chess at dinner, upsetting the waiters as we decided to throw their perfectly set out plates and silverware to the side so we could order our drinks and question every play and move in our games. 

I hadn’t been able to have moments like that in a long time. Sure, I get to dance around carefree and smoke in my apartment alone acting as if I owned the world, but eventually you get tired of living that life. 

I wanted to live my old life.

I can’t tell you what I would give for one piece of normal in this place, my normal.

“Here you are,” the bartender placed my drink on the bar table in front of me, placing a napkin under the drink to catch the condensation. 

I gave him a smile as I caught myself wishing my life different, I need to stop doing that. I’m content and happy here, just lonely.

I put the cup to my lips, wanting to pull back at the simple taste of the sugar around the rim of the frosted glass. 

One sip turned into a couple and soon I was done with the whole drink. If I’m being honest- I couldn’t drink another, too sweet. Maybe a beer or something, just one before I go back up to my room.

I turned around to look out on the grand room full of elegant looking lights strung from the ceiling, there was a large window with a glass double door to the right of the room. On the other side of the glass was a simple patio, metal chairs and tables with umbrellas. I could see the end of the sunset from where I sat, a little clearing between the buildings where the sun dropped into the road, I’d like to walk around out there when its light.

Over the time I was sat at the bar, the restaurant filled. Chess players at each table trying to balance their food with their perfectly placed chess pieces and trying not to disrupt the games as they ate. 

It was strange but I enjoyed watching them interact and curse when they realized they had lost, its possible that my fascination with watching people play chess is why I got into photography for chess. Catching shots of people deep in thought, not posed, just some strangers playing chess- it’s the best.

I wish I had brought my camera down here.

“Ahem,” a man cleared his throat behind me, I swirled my chair around to him,

“Matt?!” I was shocked to see someone like Matt here of all places, he smiled and pulled me out of my chair and in for a hug before I could protest.

“Hey, my favorite photographer,” he greeted me as he pulled me up off the ground just a bit,

Matt was an older friend, back in high school kind of older friend. I hadn’t seen him in years, longer than most of my friends back in America.

“What are you doing here?” I questioned him as I pulled back, keeping my hands tight on his upper arms,

“I came with Benny believe it or not, I wouldn’t have gotten into some big tournament like this without him,” he laughed as he ruffled my hair, him being taller than me by only a couple inches. “Benny told me he saw you here this morning. I had a feeling you would be down here around this time,” he looked out at the tables.

I smiled at him and exhaled as I looked up at the ceiling, thank you Benny. 

“God... I’ve missed you Matt,” I pulled him in for a hug again ignoring all worries about being on the job, because surely I wasn’t on the job at 7 pm. 

“Jeez, a little homesick, are we?” he asked me as he patted my back and let out a short laugh. 

 Matt pulled me off him and sat down at the bar beside me, “What’re you drinking? A beer?” he grabbed my drink and looked at the label.

He got the bartender’s attention easily, “I’ll have what they’re having,” he gave the man a smile. 

He turned to me and snickered at my tendency to get lost in my thoughts. He tapped my shoulder to get my attention, “So- what’s new?”

   “You know, you got to talk to him. He’s probably up in his room sulking right now,” Matt joked,

I nudged him with my shoulder and let out a huff, “I will, just not tonight,” I told him as I finished my beer.

“Who’s sulking up in their room?” a voice came from behind us; I knew that voice.

I looked over my shoulder to see Benny wearing his Benny Watts smile with the same clothes from earlier today, without the hat this time and his coat hung over his arm. 

Nice timing Benny.

“There he is!” Matt greeted him,

Benny flashed me a smile and then gave Matt a hug, I turned back to the bar to gather myself. I heard the Matt insult Benny’s hair and it started a pointless quarrel within the minute, I snorted and ran a hand through my hair.

They had small talk that sounded more like Matt parenting Benny, asking where he was, who he was with and such.

Matt flagged down the bartender for another drink and I picked up my beer and looked through the glass deciding if I was going to have another, but my thoughts were interrupted as Benny threw his arms over my shoulders. He loosely put his hands in each other, a poor excuse for a hug but I wasn’t complaining.

“Hey,” he greeted me leaning his head in near my ear, I felt my body tense up as he spoke so close to my ear. 

“Hi Benny,” I said softly putting down the bottle, 

“No more Mr. Watts?” he laughed,

“No- that was,” I paused as I laughed shallowly at my stuttering, “No, you’re Benny,” I told him as I looked down at my hands on the table.

I already knew he had his ‘I won’ smile spread across his face.

“And you’re Y/N,” he said softly, his way of forgiving me in a way.

I smiled and put my hand on his, he grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently.

He had come over here and treated me as if we were friends again, he gave me that feeling I had been craving- feeling normal. 

I missed any affectionate he gave me, it was rare in public that he gave more than handshakes and short hugs, but right now I held his hand in mine and I couldn’t be more content with this moment that I had to stop myself from smiling to the point where my cheeks hurt.

I missed Matt and Benny, and even Benny’s friends who would come over on late nights to play speed-chess for me to lose to them, then them losing to Benny. All I had for months on end was work, and days to waste away. I had no one to spend my days with and when I did, the memories lingered for hours divided between days.

This felt right. 

Being here with a man I could compare to a puppy and another who used to be my best friend is the most right my life has felt for a while.

I flinched as Matt raised his voice suddenly. 

“Alright! Let’s play some chess!” Matt got out of his chair and put a hand on each of our shoulders, we both looked to him. 

“The alcohol is kicking in,” I whispered, Benny heard me and lightly nudged me as he smiled.

I smiled and shook my head, this felt right.

“Let’s!” Benny entertained Matt’s excitement, he pulled his arms back and spun me around to let me off the stool. 

Matt nearly pull me out of my seat as he tugged us over to one of the only empty dinner tables, it hadn’t even been cleaned yet but clearly, we didn’t care. 

I laughed at his eagerness, but I wouldn’t ask him to stop, this was the thing I had been begging for. The thing I was sitting here at the bar alone daydreaming about was happening, its like they heard my thoughts.

Chess had become an important part of my life at an early age, and even more important when I met some chess players during high school. Chess was the go-to to cheer everyone around me up, yet it was also what made so many people around me fall apart or go mad.

I got into photography senior year and couldn’t let go of a camera until, well- never. The world was beautiful when you looked past all the flaws and ruins, even then it was still beautiful with them.

Photography only became who I wanted to be when I met Benny, Benny showed me what it was like to have more than one road to capture memories on. Benny showed me what it was like to take pictures without a camera- to play memories in my head whenever I wanted to.

Benny never forgot anything, so when I met him, I decided I wasn’t going to either.

  “Wait- just one more round!” Matt begged trying to redeem himself,

“No, its getting late. You know I have a real tournament to win tomorrow, right?” Benny sighed and kicked him chair back as he stood up,

“Wow, fine,” Matt mumbled a couple swears and turned to another man who was sitting at our table, he didn’t let the man get in a word before he set up the chessboard in front of him.

I snorted and looked up at Benny next to me, “Walk with me?” he asked offering a hand to me. I hesitated at first but grabbed him hand as I stood up, pushing my chair back into the table.

  After I said my goodbyes to Matt and made him promise he wouldn’t drink anymore, I followed Benny out to the patio.

A rush of cold air hit me as Benny opened the door in front of us, he held the door open as I walked outside into the cold city-life. You could hear distant chatter on the streets and horns honking every couple seconds.

“Maybe I should move to France too, seems nice,” Benny said quietly, he lit his cigarette. I looked over at him lean against the building wall, “Want one?” he offered me a cigarette as I leaned on the wall next to him.

I looked at the small pack he offered to me, I put the backs of my fingers against my lips for a moment as I tried to resist the urge. I wasn’t a huge fan of cigarettes. Sure, one is nice sometimes, but they just make me feel... bad.

I pulled my hand away from my face and gently grabbed the cigarette out from in-between Benny’s lips, I took a smoke.

“Or steal mine,” he smiled as he reached for another,

“Don’t,” I coughed as I blew out the smoke, handing the cigarette back.

We stayed there awhile, silently listening to the city thrive outside, watching the lights in buildings flick on and off.

“I’m sorry I left,” I whispered just loud enough for Benny to hear,

It had been on my mind all night tonight; I shouldn’t have left him, I needed to leave but I didn’t mean to leave him in the process.

“After my mother passed, I needed to be somewhere new. I needed something new,” I said looking down at my feet,

“Ouch,” Benny laughed shallowly,

“No, not you. You were- are my best friend, you were the best thing in my life, Benny. I didn’t want to leave you nor did I want to ask you to run away to France with me,” I explained, I looked over at him. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand as his other fell beside him holding his cigarette in-between his long fingers.

He didn’t respond or say anything for a couple minutes, and why would he? Those were poor excuses for skipping the country.

“I miss you,” he said softly taking another smoke, he threw his cigarette on the ground and put it out under his boot. “It wasn’t fair,” he turned to me.

“I know,” I whispered.

It almost felt like everything went quiet as I waited for him to say something else, anything else.

I wanted some clue on how to go back to not being viewed as someone who ran away from their life scared, I wanted a hint on how I could make him look at me like I didn’t break his heart.

“Y/N,” he pushed himself away from the wall, I looked over at him. “I’ll walk you to your room,” he said as he already had started walking.

  I walked beside him down the hallway to my room, I hadn’t said anything more than directions on our way here. I was scared to say something, but I had to eventually.

We got to my room, I unlocked my door and turned around as I pushed open my door with my back.

Benny stopped and stared at me; I wish I could know what he was thinking. I wish I could hear his thoughts. He smiled as he looked up at the ceiling, clearly talking himself out of doing something, I do that all the time.

I pulled his arm toward me till I could grab his coat and pull him into a hug, “This is what I meant to do this morning,” I told him. I rested my chin on his shoulder waiting for him to hug me back, he wrapped him arms around me tightly.

“Yeah, it is,”

  I shut my door and put my back against it, I slid down until I hit the floor.

I sighed wrapping my arms around my legs, my legs pressed against my chest and I almost sunk into the floor.

Shit.

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Part Three !

#benny watts #benny watts imagines #benny watts x reader #the queens gambit #the queens gambit imagines #imagines #thomas brodie-sangster #thomas brodie-sangster imagines

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the account that made me want to share my writing- their stories are so well written. also reading through some of their stuff gave me a general idea on how to post a story on tumblr bdosjsksn

Benny Watts/The Queens Gambit imagines - From Pawn to Pen Part 3

AN: Okay so I know things are going a little slow paced at the moment but I promise things will start to pick up over the next few chapters. 

Overall Summary: You’re a young journalist for Chess Review, with a love for chess and a desire for knowledge. One day at a tournament, you come across the famous Benny Watts…

In this chapter: It’s the last day of the tournament and Benny feels bad about what happened the previous night 

(PART 1) (PART 2)

Pairing(s): Benny Watts x Fem!reader

Word Count: 3,493

Warnings: Some unwanted touching here at the beginning in italics, some drinking, none really

A hand glided up from your knee along your thigh. The fingers felt rough against your skin and your stomach twisted into a knot as the touch went further up your leg. You tried to move your leg away but his fingers dug into your skin keeping you there. 

“Don’t play hard to get now…” 

You gasped loudly as you shot up from your pillow. The cold air hit your lungs like a flood as you struggled to catch your breath. 

It was 5am. 

You were covered in sweat.

You stared into the darkness ahead of you, eyes wide open with any feeling of tiredness gone. 

Your hands shook as you reached for the light switch, turning it on before jumping out of your bed to open the curtains. 

The sun was barely rising outside. 

Your nightie clung to you awkwardly due to the sweat so you headed into the bathroom, stripping of it. 

You didn’t look in the mirror as you turned on the shower. You hated the way you looked after the dreams. You always looked like a ghost. 

Not that you had had the dreams for a while now. 

Keep reading

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!!

how do ppl find love wtf? im always so amazed when i see couples like HOW tf does that happen????? i genuinely cant imagine mutual love and i don’t understand how people just? find someone to be with?? what

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France is no escape - part 1.

A/N : hey! I dont share my writing online very often but since I've been reading all the Benny Watts fanfics I could find, I thought I would post the one I wrote here. I tried to make this pretty gender neutral and I do not know anything about chess, I intend to do a bit of research eventually, but I wrote this solely for my love for the characters and the show (that I may watch again because I’m so obsessed).

This should be a multiple part story if I can motivate myself to continue writing. I’m also very new to Tumblr so I apologize if I'm just- messy.

Final thing! Writing is just a hobby of mine to write down all my thoughts so I apologize if my sentences are a bit messy or too long. Thank you for reading !

Click here for Part Two :]

Pairings : Benny Watts x Reader

Word count : 1865

Warnings : none :]

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 “Well, shit,” Harry breathed as he resigned. A smile grew on my face as I leaned back in my chair, one foot on the seat with my leg pulled up against my chest and the other on the cold floor. 

Harry was visiting me in little Rouen, France. He had become one of my closer friends even if he was hundreds of miles away.

Cleo, who I met through Benny, was in France for modeling often so I saw her quite a bit, but she wasn’t my home. She wasn’t chess obsessed like my friends were back in America. 

Harry sighed as he checked his watch, I glanced over to him and already knew what was going through his head.

“Harry- you don’t have to leave. You could move in with me,” I told Harry, he smiled as he shook his head. 

“You know I can’t do that- I’m lucky you’re paying for a flight for me every time I come to France. I couldn’t afford living here and wouldn’t fit in very well,” 

He had a point; this wasn’t a place he would enjoy living his day-to-day life in. I got on just fine but learning the language to finding a new job would drive him mad... but I couldn’t help but offer, I was lonely here. I went from being in a relationship with a US Chess Champion in a little apartment in New York to being offered a whole photography career in France. I couldn’t turn this down, with my mother passing away a few months before, there was nothing keeping me in New York. 

Heh... I wonder what mother would think of me living in a little apartment in Rouen. 

She would likely ask me about the boys and restaurants, if I was making enough to buy elegant clothes and dance in the rain with strangers on late nights. I miss her.

“Hey? You okay Y/N?” Harry pulled me out of my thoughts, 

I shook my head and laughed lightly, “Sorry, I was just thinking about when I lived in New York,” I half lied,

“New York? Back when you lived with the Benny Watts?” he asked me,

“Yes, when I lived with the Benny Watts,” I responded mocking the way he referred to Benny. 

Benny Watts. The relationship with the US Chess Champion, but he wasn’t a trophy, he was very important to me at the time. 

We were meant to stay in contact after I left for France, but days without calling turned into weeks, then months and eventually I don’t think either of us expected to hear from each other in any way other than reading the chess articles.

I buy a magazine when I see him on the cover, I flip through it for a bit but within the day it gets throw into the pile of magazines sat under my coffee table. He just climbed up the ladder of chess higher and higher after I left, it’s possible that Benny Watts getting romantically involved really was bad for him like the fan girls said. 

I smiled at the thought.

I took a deep breath as I got up from my chair, “I assume it’s time for you to get going?” I looked to Harry. Harry gave me a sad smile and nodded.

  Sunny Paris, another day, another twenty chess players to hunt down for some good cover photos. This wasn’t actually a very common thing, there was a tournament here in Paris. One of the biggest we’ve had in a while actually- this could very well be the talk of the town for quite a while. 

“Hello Y/N Y/L!” the front desk receptionist greeted me with a bright smile.

“Big day, huh?” I said as rested my wrists on the counter fidgeting with a pen in my hand.

“Oh yes! your company must be thrilled about this one!” she said, I’ve talked to her enough to book a room here for the little chess tournaments (and sometimes big) to call her an acquaintance and maybe a bit more. 

“Yep, it’s going to be a long weekend,” I laughed as I looked back to her, 

“I heard they flew in a couple big players from America, anyone you know?” she asked as she looked up at me and slid my room-card over the counter to me. 

“Oh? I haven’t checked who was coming in, I’m sure I know a couple of them though,” I smiled and slid the card into my pocket, dropping my pen in my bag as well. 

“Well you have a nice morning and tell me if you need anything!” she smiled back,

“Thank you!” I waved to her goodbye and started to walk around the lobby. 

One, two, ten chess tables lined up by the windows. The patterned carpet matched the drapes and the tables and chairs were a deep burgundy shade. Potted plants in every corner and little decorative ribbons hung from the ceiling, they really went all out this year. 

The games didn’t start until tomorrow, not any important ones at least, so today would be the best day to strike on interviews and photos. I arrived early so people were only just arriving or settling in.

I sat down on a nearby sofa and pulled my camera out, fixing a few things here and there so I didn’t have to later. 

After about 30 minutes, I heard a familiar voice, “Well that’s just pawns, there’s no hope there,” the man had an American accent.

I stood up and looked around for the man who I heard; I scanned the room until he spoke again. My eyes darted behind me as I quickly turned around, oh lord. 

There he was, long black leather trench coat with a hat that anyone could recognize, tight dark jeans and a black t-shirt. I could almost call the chains around his neck sparkly if the sunrays hit them just right, a crowd around him at all times since he got here, I’d assume. 

There he was, Benny Watts. 

I was about to walk over knowing how much my company would love to see some shots of him, or maybe it was because he was an old friend... or an old lover. 

I shook the thoughts out of my head as I put my camera back in my bag gently and brushed myself off. 

I should go.

I stood up and begun to walk toward the elevator across the room, “Y/N!” someone shouted from behind me. I swiftly turned around to be met with Cleo.

“Cleo!” I greeted her, pulling her into a hug.

“I’m so glad I caught you before I had to leave! I have a job at eleven,” she paused as she looked over my shoulder. “Oh! have you said hello to Benny yet?” shit.

I turned around to be met with Benny’s gaze, he smiled as he stood up. Of course, his name being said would immediately catch his attention. I looked back to Cleo, there is no turning back, thank you for that Cleo. 

I shut my eyes as I swore under my breath.

“Y/N?” Benny asked,

I forgot to breathe for a moment and let out a quiet exhale and turned around, “Ben- Mr. Watts,” I corrected myself as I would if I was on a job, which I was.

At this moment it seemed I had forgotten all my history with Benny while also remembering every detail. 

He seemed taken aback by what I called him, “Why are you calling me that?” he smiled but his eyes clearly said he was caught off guard. 

“I- I’m on the job,” I stuttered at first, I could see him deciding to let it slide as he looked away. He looked back to me and opened his arms for a hug, I backed away just a bit and he immediately got the message. Why did I do that?

“What? You’ve been gone for a couple years and I’m a stranger now?” he laughed, yet I could tell he was irritated by how I acted. But he was Benny Watts, he never shared how he felt, and he never shows weakness. What I did merely confused him as far as I knew.

I didn’t know how to act if I was being honest, things weren’t left exactly fantastic when I left for France. Benny wasn’t happy I was leaving, not at all. He went from being shocked, to upset, to begging me to stay, to making promises like he would visit me. He didn’t keep those promises, but I never expected him to. 

I took a deep breath, “No you’re not- I’m just- sorry,” I was a mess, I wasn’t even able to stay cool around Benny when we were together.

He was my weakness, his smile, his messy dirty blonde locks, his voice. 

He looked down, “Don’t worry about it,” he paused as he looked at my eyes. He just stared at me, “Better get going, I think some people are waiting on me,” he told me as he looked back to the crowd who sat around him and a chess table just moments ago.

I looked over to Cleo with a worried expression, she put her hand on my shoulder and shrugged with a sympathetic smile. I was an idiot, I backed away from a hug with Benny when I used to wake up to him everyday only 2 years ago.

Benny looked me up and down and tipped his hat, he spun on his heel as he turned around to walk away. I didn’t know what to say so I decided to say my goodbyes to Cleo and go to my room,

“Benny,” I turned around suddenly hoping to catch him,

“Yeah?” Benny turned to look at me,

“I’ll see you later?” I asked,

He chuckled quietly and looked to his feet, “Sure Y/N, I’ll see you later,” he said dully.

I felt relieved he didn’t scoff and keep walking like he had done to many who wronged him.

I do miss him; I wasn’t distant because I wanted to be- I was distant because I had lost my ways with him. I didn’t know how to be his friend again. I miss the bad jokes and the excited chess talk and even some of the pointless arguing, what it was before I left. 

  I fell onto my bed and stared at the ceiling in my hotel room.

What would mother think?

I ask myself the same question every day. She would think if he didn’t move to France with me in the first place that he wasn’t worth my time, I smiled as I remembered when she first met him.

She asked how much money he had, if he took me to his tournaments, if he would die for me. Benny sat there speechless while I was a giggling mess, I don’t even believe we were together at that point but over my dead body did I not introduce a US Chess Champion to my mother.

I’ll talk to him before he leaves, I’ll be there to watch him win everyone. I’ll fix what I have clearly broken.

// Part Two ! //

#benny watts #benny watts imagines #benny watts x reader #the queens gambit #the queens gambit imagines #imagines #thomas brodie-sangster #thomas brodie-sangster imagines

[wheninitalyy]

BUS BEAT // THE FRONT BOTTOMS