Why did I leave that empty food wrapper on the table?
Not unlikely: I was too overwhelmed by All The Things and felt that if I was throwing it away I was not doing All The Other Things (time to lay down on the floor take deep breaths)
More likely: I got distracted and forgot
Most likely: one of the cats (usually Spock) was sitting on the garbage can so opening it would be literally impossible!!
why are schoolchildren so much better at detecting autism in girls than legit doctors
after seeing a knowledgeable pediatrician ur whole life you’ll finally get evaluated as a teenager and they’ll be like “I am forced to concede…that you may have a slight case of the Ass Burgers”
when Melissa, Kelsey and Sophie from the third grade will look at you for .5 seconds, simultaneously be like “this other small girl has something wrong with her” and give you lifelong trauma without even referring you to a psychologist
To Be Fair
This does seem to be the experience of any type of neurodivergence (and probably anyone who’s different tbh). I was diagnosed with ADHD at a fairly reasonable age for a girl (fifth grade) but let me tell you, my classmates Noticed much earlier. Also, I didn’t realize that ADHD wasn’t just “trouble concentrating” until ~adulthood so I blamed myself (and wasn’t given the tools for) everything else I struggled with. That was fun :)
Kirk doesn’t so much roll over to expose his belly as lift his leg over my hand while maintaining eye contact like there. That’s where the pets will happen. Won’t they.
Fierce, violin-centric, orchestral backing! An excellent start, makes
for an ambitiously flamboyant and evil backdrop 10/10
Jessie: Prepare for trouble!
Tone and energy perfectly match the music, words are bold, powerful, and have potential for any type and scale of evil. Unfortunately, “trouble” is likely to be rhymed with “double” which is a bit overdone 8/10
James: Make it double!
What did I JUST say? The thing is, clichés become clichés because they have staying power, and over-the-top theatrical villainy -which they are nailing so far- is not a bad place to rely on good old fashioned cheesiness.
Also, James is right on board with Jessie’s energy, so clearly a similarly vibing, dynamic duo (as long as we’re falling back on clichés). 8/10
Jessie: To protect the world from devastation!
Not evil?? Kind of the opposite, actually?? They do get what being bad guys is all about, right? Still, points for maintaining the melodrama. And you know what? An argument can be made in favor of throwing in a chaos element, maybe keep the good guys off-balance, idk. 3/10.
James: To unite all peoples within our nation!
Okay, we’re well past the chaos argument. A drop of honey sometimes goes well with stir-fry and “offsets the saltiness” or gives it “complex notes” or some bs, but this much sweetness crosses the line and makes me wonder how invested you really are in this whole evil thing.
HOWEVER, James is showing a united front with Jessie by expressing an equivalent sentiment, and, more importantly, by rhyming with her, continuing an admirable tradition of aiming evil towards outsiders only. But should they be admirable? 3/10.
Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love!
That’s more like it! Not an especially actionable sentiment, but at least we’re back on track and within acceptably evil parameters. 6/10
Jessie: To extend our reach to the stars above!
Ambitious! And arguably evil, since uniting all peoples in space would likely result in mass death. And there are those who would say that removing everyone would, in fact, “protect the earth from devastation”. And repackaging mass murder as something heroic? Hella evil. Fantastic job. Ofc, I’m not certain they’re thinking this deeply about it, so 9/10.
Took a while to introduce themselves. This is possibly due to lack of organization, but I’m gonna give them the benefit of the doubt and say it’s to sow more confusion and keep the protagonists on their toes. 10/10
Jessie: Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!
Can they really do that, or are they being poetic? Either way, I’m on board. 10/10
James: Surrender now or prepare to fight!
A clear, actionable ultimatum! But what does surrendering entail? That part’s unclear, and that nicely balances that first part with yet more pandemonium. 10/10
Meowth: Meowth! That’s right!
They had a surprise member up their sleeve!! With a third rhyme! Keeping that chaos ali -IS THAT A TALKING MEOWTH?? WHAT SOURCERY IS THIS?? IF THEY HAVE THE RESOURCES TO BREED A TALKING POKEMON, WHAT OTHER MIRACULOUS FEATS OF EVIL DO THEY HAVE IN STORE? WE ARE ALL DOOMED. 12/10
10 /10 + 8/10 + 8/10 + 3/10 + 3/10 + 6/10 + 9/10 + 10/10 + 10/10 + 10/10 + 12/10 = 89/10: 11 = 8/10(ish).
Impressive job! In fact, let this be an inspirational lesson for all doers of evil or even good: Just because you faltered in your path, doesn’t mean you can’t finish strong, and maybe even make it seem like your misstep was part of a Grand Plan the whole time.
One of the most important things that my circle of friends and I have learned to say is “this was fun! And now I’m out of social energy. Ttyl <3”
No more scrambling to come up with an excuse or continuing the conversation past the point of wilting internally (resulting in a longer recovery time).
Running out of social energy is a 100% valid reason to end a social interaction, and it doesn’t mean we didn’t genuinely enjoy each other’s company or that anyone wasn’t “good enough” to hold anyone else’s attention. I’m never offended or insulted when a friend says that to me, and I’ve learned that I’m not hurting their feelings when I say it to them. We all appreciate the honesty in unabashedly communicating our needs. Everyone wins <3
Holy shit. Holy fuck. I got my little sister the book “sex is a funny word” because she’s at that age where she’s reading a lot of puberty books and I’d heard that this one was lgbtq+ friendly, but I was checking it over for accuracy and I gotta say, even with the totally gender neutral language they were using to talk about body parts and the really respectful way they talk about gender and their portrayals of same sex couples I was so fucking sure that I would have to mention that not everyone gets crushes or feels attraction separately. Because these books never talk about that. But here it is. The one thing I was so absolutely sure wouldn’t be included.
I honest to god dropped the book when I saw this I was so shocked. And I’m so fucking happy right now. I can’t exspress how much I wish this was mentioned in the books I read when I was a kid. It would have saved me so much confusion, and I’m so happy that kids today are gonna read this and know that it’s okay and normal to not get curses. I’m so so fucking happy you have no idea.
Is this the right book?
Yes it is! And like holy shit, I really had to set the book down so I wouldn’t start crying. I’m so happy, look at this.
I had? No expectation my exsperiances would be represented in this and here it is. Like I can’t even put my emotions around this into words.
Also, I realize that “curses” was a typo for “crushes”, but as someone who’s experienced crushes, that’s not an inaccurate word substitute XD
one… two… three… SALTED FISH!!!
Hi, thanks for violently yanking me into 4th grade . As long as I’m here, can we discuss “boom, boom, enter, enter, boom, boom one two”
It is 2:38 AM
(Mine were under my bed, as it turns out)
The nice thing about closed sandwiches is that you can open them and suddenly you have like twice as much sandwich
I’m feeling like a sourpuss today so I would like to present a pet peeve of mine which is that although the gematria of “attitude” is 100, that doesn’t necessarily mean attitude will get you 100% of the way to success.
The gematria of “shoe” is 47, which is 100% of 47 and humans are good at spotting non-existent patterns that affirm their existing set of beliefs and assigning significance to it which I suppose is ok if it makes them happy and idk why this makes me wanna sucker punch them through the internet but it *really, really does.*
Maybe it’s because saying that someone’s success is all about their attitude is refusing to acknowledge the role of being ablebodied, rich, white etc. Or maybe I’m just a sourpuss, that’s definitely also an option.
the thing is the sun sets at 4 and it’s pitch black by 4:30 so any time after that mentally defaults as MidnightTM but going to bed that early is preposterous so to stay awake later than 6 so you refuse to eat dinner until at least 7 but it’s really 8 because you forgot meal prep and you check the time around 9:30 and think about going to bed but don’t even though you’re bone tired for no reason and suddenly well would you look at that it’s your old friend 1am
Are you spying on me..?
If you don’t awkwardly switch between accents while you Daven/recite blessings/sing zemirot, have you really made Aliyah 5+ years ago?
Know what goes well with insomnia?
- wild temperature swings in my rhythm-deaf pendulum of a body
- 2 cats with a love/hate relationship simultaneously trying to cuddle me
- existential dread flavored nausea
- being tangled in my blanket FUCK I’M TRAPPED IN MY BLANKET I’M STUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK okay I’ve freed a limb back to my regularly scheduled anxiety-depression cocktail
Let’s play “And Then They (all) Died, The End”!
The rule is, pick a scene in a TV/movie/etc. That would have killed one or multiple characters in reality, and “fix” it. I’ll start:
This has happened many times- someone or something startled Pikachu, causing him to accidentally release like, a bajillion volts of electricity, shocking everyone within a 5 meter radius, for several seconds. And then they all Died, the end!
(What usually happened was that they all collapsed in a heap, covered in, idk, char I guess. After a moment of awkward silence they will would laugh hysterically, brush themselves off, and get on with their day)
Catching up with old friends always seems to lead to this exchange 😆
CW: nightmares about being attacked, possibly sleep paralysis?
What progress have you made that looked like regression, externally?
I used to get these awful nightmares that I was under attack, and unable to scream or fight back because I was paralyzed. Sometimes I would wake up, still paralyzed. It was terrifying, exhausting, and disheartening.
Fast forward quite a lot of therapy, I was slowly gathering “power” during these attacks, willing myself to even twitch a little, until finally I would SCREAM. My entire body felt like hot, limp clay, but I was able to clumsily swing it around and land some blows. I would wake up scared and exhausted, but also feeling a tiny bit empowered.
This was a huge improvement to my quality of life, but on the outside it looked like I didn’t use to scream or flail in my sleep, and now I was doing both. But even though I once kicked the wall heard enough to bruise myself, it was still progress for me.
Nowadays I have fewer nightmares, and don’t need to physically fight anyone when I do have them, so (afaik) I no longer scream or kick in my sleep.
Has anyone here had a comparable experience?
A few weeks ago I was strolling down a Dark and Scary Alley without my glasses when I spotted a Gigantic Man stomping toward me. He was holding a long thin object, and, terrified it was a knife, I froze in place and squinted at his hand.
He must have realized how scared I was because he called out “it’s okay”, and held out his hands to show me that he was carrying a …paintbrush? Thin glasses case? I couldn’t quite make it out, but it was clearly not a knife. He gave me a wide berth and a reassuring smile as he passed me. My pounding heart resumed it’s regularly scheduled 60-100 BPM.
I don’t know who you are, Gigantic Man, but if you’re reading this, know that I appreciate you. Not for refraining from attacking me, but for making an obvious effort to help me feel safe. The world is a tiny bit less scary for your being in it.