Lia | 21 | deancoded casgirl (gn) | Any pronouns | do not interact with me if you hate castiel. im serious | this used to be a multifandom blog but clearly thats not what's happening right now
"The only thing I think we have left, Dean and me, is each other. If Dean says it's time to go out in a blaze of glory, win or lose, so be it. I'm in. But then ... (smiles at Dean) that's just how I roll."
[spn 5x4]
"A part of me always believed you'll come back."
[spn 7x17]
"I forgive you, Cas ... I love you."
[spn 8x17]
"That's where Dean spread your ashes. After we burned you."
[spn 13x6]
"I lost Cas and it damn near broke me..."
[spn 13x20]
"according to your plan, the world loses you, and me-- I-I lose you too, and that is unacceptable to me, Dean.”
Those brothers Supernatural will be like we know each other better than anybody and we are inextricably bound by the private trauma of our shared childhood that nobody else could ever understand and we have both sworn sacred oaths to each other. and not even realize that they are thinking of different childhoods. and have sworn different oaths. and there is so much that they have misunderstood about each other and that they can never go back to the way they were before because WE WERE NEVER THAT WAY BEFORE.
if i had a nickel for every time an all american, buff, blonde, reformed playboy in a tv series with a pseudo father figure named bobby, complicated sibling relationship, and horrific parental issues, got baby trapped by his brunette best friend that fans ship him with, and had one character in the ship confirmed queer only to not end up with the other half of the ship, i would have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird it happened twice right
You know, it makes sense that a lot of the characters in 911 are queer in some way considering queer people tend to gravitate towards each other unknowingly and end up traveling in packs.
online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.
and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.
there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.
i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.