whew-oh-em-gee

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Jake Gyllenhaal being tortured having a peaceful and relaxing time during the Buzzfeed Puppy Interview (2024).

#jake gyllenhaal #i too would like to jump on jake #le queue

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The new and updated masterlist is up as well as a new theme for the blog!!!

#astrid rambles

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Attention (fluff)

Humor me (fluffy)

Karma (fluffier)

What happens at the Oscars... (fluffiest)

The green-eyed monster (fluff, implied smut)

Movie nights with Jake

Q&A with the Jakey boys

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Valentine's Day

Jealousy

Floppy fics

Friends

Insecure

Dishes

'Okay'

Notes

Sensitive

Fanfiction

Granny

Smut

UFO

#masterlist #main masterlist #jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal fanfiction #jake gyllenhaal imagines #jake gyllenhaal fluff

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Hello astrid! i'm happy to see that you're on my dash again you were quiet for a while

Hi!!! Yes, I was very quiet for a while (understatement of the century) but I’m glad to be back even if it’s for a short while!

I’ll just use this as an opportunity to apologize for dropping off the face of the earth out of the blue. I’ve got a lot of things going on behind the scenes but I’m slowly getting my tumblr groove (a.k.a my whoreknee thoughts about jake) back so get ready!!!!

P.S I have seen your requests guys! I’m working on them 🤭

#jake gyllenhaal #ask astrid #astrid answers

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Jake Gyllenhaal in GQ Korea…

SWOON

#i left for five seconds #oh my #i tear just ran down my thigh #jake gyllenhaal

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ATTENTION ALL GIRLS AND LADIES: if you walk from home, school, office or anywhere and you are alone and you come across a little boy crying holding a piece of paper with an address on it, DO NOT TAKE HIM THERE! take him straight to the police station for this is the new 'gang' way of rape. The incident is getting worse. Warn your families. Reblog this so this message can get accross to everyone.

#important!!! #pleaseeeeeeeeee reblog

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Me: Valentine's Day is basically a capitalist scheme. All the practices we partner with it include buying goods to give as presents like chocolate. I prefer spending time with my loved ones doing something we love or be given something they made themselves

Also me: *enters a chocolate coma after watching Netflix for 12 hours*

#back on my bs #meme #funny #astrid rambles #valentine’s day

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What It'd Be like to Date Andrew Garfield

Andrew would want to teach you how to skateboard if you don’t know already.

He would call you sweet nicknames like “sweetheart,” “darlin” or “baby” while you call him “spidey” or “babe”

Andrew wanting to show you off to his family and friends and saying how you are the one for him

He tries to keep you hidden from the public because he doesn’t want you to get hurt by his fans or the paparazzi.

You appreciate Andrew protecting you from the public eye and you love him even more for that

You’re one of the few people who can call “Andy”

Whenever you could, you ask Andrew about his mom and what she was like.

When he does talk about her, you notice how he would talk about her in such a bright light and how she was an amazing woman.

If you get too stressed out from work, then Andrew will give you a message and/ or cook your favorite meal (he’ll accidentally burn it the first few times)

When Andrew has a long day from filming, you put on one of his favorite shows on Netflix (his to go to his Cobra Kai) and you make his favorite meal

Whenever you do something nice for him or be there for him, he always asks you “how did I get so lucky on finding and dating the most perfect girl?”

You always tease him and say, “I don’t know, Andy, maybe it was your “good” charms.”

If he is having a moment where his ego is too much or where he’s having a bad mental day, you’re always there to bring him back to where he needs to be.

He takes you to England from time to time so you can see where he grew up and what he did during vacation and after school

You both sing to your favorite songs (even if you suck at it) whenever you guys are in the car

Andrew just being a gentle yet loving boyfriend to you and treating like you’re everything to him (which you are)

You protecting one another and getting jealous if someone else hits on you both

Being close with his family and friends and spending time with his family whenever you can.

You guys facetime whenever he’s out of town working on a movie or promoting

Andrew kissing you or your cheek or neck whenever he could so he can show you his love and affection

Your family and friends absolutely love Andrew and say how he’s a perfect match for you

You both get asked when you’re gonna get married and have kids of your own

Andrew and you talk about the future and about getting married and having kids (three to be exact)

He always asks when the topic is brought up, “If we have a daughter, can we name her after my mum?”

You knowing how much she means to Andrew, you always say yes because how can you deny Andrew honoring the woman he loves and adores more than anything.

Taglist: @chickenmcstucky @whew-oh-em-gee @lordyitsjordy

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👋😃

#those hands thoughhhhh #i want to wear them as a choker #or maybe a bra👀👀 #jake gyllenhaal #le queue

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PRISONERS (2013) — dir. denis villeneuve

#detective loki handcuff me challenge #unholy thots #jake gyllenhaal

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LET IT RING — SUGAR DADDY!JAKE GYLLENHAAL 🎃

summary: why choose between trick or treat when you can have both?

warnings: alcohol (mentioned), established sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship, implied fake cheating, smut (roleplay, finger sucking, choking, face slapping, dirty talk, ring kink, degradation, fingering, spanking & clit spanking, ruined orgasm, allusion to fisting, masturbation, facial cumshot) 18+ NO MINORS.

word count: 2620

photo credits: just-just-gyllenhaal (cropped) / divider credits: firefly-graphics

notes: jake wore a ring on his pinky finger a month ago and i’m still losing my mind about it. also roleplay… costumes… halloween, get it? 👻🍭 i highly suggest you check out THE FIRST SUGAR DADDY!JAKE FIC to understand their dynamic. thank you for reading & REMEMBER TO REBLOG!

Keep reading

#OMFG LAURIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #I CANNOT- #ASKADFLDKHFDLKS #i'm having very unholy thots rn #fic rec #gyllenhaalstories

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“ she said i cant go outside today “ ☠️

#she said we have to go somewhere today #le queue

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Maggie & Jake Gyllenhaal at the 10th annual LACMA Art and Film Gala presented by Gucci.

#jake gyllenhaal #damn your gifs are immaculate

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reblog this and in the tags, write the band that comes to mind first when you think back to being 13 years old

#ABBA #i had a thing for songs older than me back then

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RED VELVET — SUB!JAKE GYLLENHAAL 🎂

summary: it’s your birthday and you treated yourself to a trip to the toy store. i let you guess which kind of toy store i’m talking about.

warnings: food & brief inappropriate use of food, curse words, reversing the dom/sub roles was previously discussed, smut (finger sucking, nipple play, blowjob & handjob, spit, rimming, use of toys & lube, pegging, humping, overstimulation, tons of begging, praise kink) 18+ NO MINORS.

word count: 3030

gifs credits: me / divider credits: firefly-graphics

notes: today is my birthday and i will make it everyone’s problem with this self-indulgent fic.  thank you for reading & REMEMBER TO REBLOG!

Keep reading

#exucse me ma'am #i'd like to order a sub!jake #HOLY SHIT #i'm going to combust #i need to go touch some grass now #gyllenhaalstories #fic rec

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simu liu used to model for stock images and now he’s using them as reaction pics- THIS MAN IS TRULY SOMETHING ELSE I LOVE HIM

#he must be protected at all costs! #le queue

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Jake Gyllenhaal II Southpaw (2015)

#those tiddies tho- #le queue