whiskeyote

[whiskeyote]

1 more week until my life is different forever no matter what happens next, expected or unexpected

I have no idea what I feel or what To feel

#t

[whiskeyote]

i say this with love: yall will make yourselves feel bad about fucking anything, i swear to god. you feel bad about feeling too much. you feel bad about feeling too little. you feel bad about what makes you feel good. you feel bad about not knowing what you like. you feel bad for not being able to survive easily in a world hostile to you. you feel bad for the tactics that you use to survive. you feel bad for how you identify. you feel bad for being unique. you feel bad for experiences that you share with millions of people. you suspect that every feeling, experience, desire, fear, and question in your brain is somehow evidence that you don't deserve to exist.

i can be so so reassuring about all of these things but ultimately you are the one that's gonna have to make a conscious choice to stop measuring yourself in these ways. there is no authority who gets to determine whether you have the right to exist or not. you already do. there is no body that votes on whether you get to feel, identify, or think as you do. you already do. your existence as it is is non-negotiable. stop trying to justify yourself. you're already here. the world is going to have to deal with it anyway.

#tough love #and exactly what i need to hear rn #thanks OP u a real one #fav #reminder

[whiskeyote]

it's my civic duty to be as miserable as humanly possible. DO YOUR PART, PEOPLE!!

"if you think that someone you know might be having fun due to their medical treatment, please contact law enforcement immediately. all medical treatment must be as unpleasant as possible to ensure that sick people maintain an appropriately ascetic lifestyle, as penance for choosing to be sick people"

I wrote this seven years ago about federally restricted medications and I was fucking right

#t #lol #sarcasm

[whiskeyote]

welp, I'm on antibiotics for the first time in a couple years.

honestly probably a personal record for how long it's been since my last round, so that's good at least. not as constantly sick as I once was.

#t

[whiskeyote]

Oof. Full-blown pneumonia, my old friend. .-.

Started coughing up blood today. Not my first rodeo, but I'm not happy about it.

#t

[whiskeyote]

by far the best part of grocery shopping is the little babies. i was carefully selecting mushrooms when i felt upon me a piercing gaze and looked up to see a very chubby and very red-cheeked baby staring intently at me from a grocery cart with a slightly furrowed brow, hand clutching an apple for dear life. i wiggled a mushroom at her and she gasped and kept staring. i turned back to the mushrooms and heard a shriek. i turned around and the baby stared in anticipation. i wiggled another mushroom and she shrieked again in delight. she looked down at the apple in her hand, considering it for a moment. fair-minded as she was, she decided it would only be right to wiggle produce at me in return, and she held up the apple and shook it with all her might. i think i could live forever now

#fav #lol

[whiskeyote]

I'm struggling to see how the internet is benefiting me lately.

Like... Other than giving me access to my school program and the ability to message my friends, I think it is single-handedly destroying my mental health and disillusioning me and it has been this way since At Least the start of 2020.

I don't think I have a safe space online anymore when it used to be my escape from reality. Reality now feels like an escape from the internet. Social media and news is its own special breed of hell these days. I remember when it was all farmville and photos of salad. what the fuck happened

#t

[whiskeyote]

inevitably the people i idolize disappoint me gravely at some point and I keep having to confront the fact that maybe the biblical commandment about false idols is Correct

#t #fuckin hell #why some people defend AI is beyond me #when it's someone I used to think was cool it's Worse

[whiskeyote]

fuckin hell man the only news source I trust even slightly used an AI image of "children in Gaza" and I actually couldn't keep my mouth shut about it and sent them a sternly worded email

Yes I am "one of your top readers globally" and I'm also not a fucking idiot. you owe me better y'all, you owe everyone better.

journalistic integrity might finally be dead as a doornail. And I am afraid for our future.

#t

[whiskeyote]

I firmly believe what ever you’re obsessed with at 11/12 years old becomes a core part of who you are, regardless if you lose interest in it or not. Maybe some of you were lucky and were obsessed with warrior cats or smth, and if you’re real unlucky it was probably twilight.

#if im unlucky that's ok #at least im a rat #🐀 #iykyk

[whiskeyote]

#how it actually feels to have this said to you #LOL #fav

[whiskeyote]

Sardonyx cameo, Roman, 1st-2nd century AD

from The British Museum

#art #history #fav

[whiskeyote]

s/o to everyone navigating the rough seas of parental abuse & neglect into adulthood. this song broke me lil bit

#NF #let you down #abuse // #parents // #neglect // #tw #cw #music #fav #Youtube

[whiskeyote]

i hereby hex the phlegm that is stuck in every aspect of my airways rn

#t #BEGONE

[whiskeyote]

My lil sweetheart baby boo

#tala #mine

[whiskeyote]

Seeing other EDS folk w all the same problems as u is like equal parts validating and "ok come here. group hug. shit sux"

#t

[whiskeyote]

wow uh

hm

I went back looking for any posts I was making during a Very Important Time that was important without me knowing it then and of fucking Course that is within the time period that I had no phone because I shattered it by accident on a ferry deck lol

something something finally brave enough to confront a thing/investigate it more and it. Isn't waiting for u.

Oh.

#t #welp guess that's gonna continue to be a murky tragedy in my life with no clear answers ever #ok.jpg